Ch.21Under the Crystal Palace (5)

After sending Evan away, she also left the banquet hall.

She had only come to make an appearance.

If she wasn’t present at an event associated with the Crown Prince’s name, her loyalty might be questioned.

She had no interest in conversing with anyone, nor did she have the confidence to enjoy anything in that noisy banquet.

However, she still had a responsibility toward the knight she had brought along.

She briefly adjusted the soft shawl wrapped around her waist before slowly moving her feet.

He had asked to meet at the balcony, so he was probably waiting for her there.

Passing through corridors brightly lit by chandeliers, she entered a dark hallway.

Though it was a dark corridor without even the smallest light, she found it rather pleasant.

This corridor, free from gentle curves, waltz melodies, people’s gazes, and all that noise,

felt more comfortable than any other place at this moment.

She began walking alone down the quiet corridor where not even a single candlelight flickered.

She remembered having this habit since childhood.

Whenever she walked alone in dark places like this, her maids would rush over and scold her.

They would ask what she was doing in such a dangerous dark place and forcibly pull her into the light.

But was that place truly bright?

The eyes that looked at her all contained darkness.

A darkness that gnawed at her, dug into her, and turned her inside out.

When she threw tantrums and screamed as a child that she hated this, her father would lock her in an attic where not even a sliver of light could enter.

By the time she was no longer put in the attic, she had stopped throwing tantrums.

Isn’t it rather amusing that now this darkness gives her stability?

Despite how much she had hated going there, now she seeks out darkness and comes out alone like this.

Standing in the middle of the corridor, she continued walking.

When her feet touched the empty corridor, the sound of her footsteps echoed back like a reverberation.

Click-clack, click-clack.

Her mind regained peace with that steady sound.

After briefly looking at the faint starlight captured by the Crystal Palace, she gazed at the window piercing the middle of the corridor.

As she carefully walked into that space, the only place in the dark corridor that accepted light, moonlight began to pour over her.

When she raised her head, she saw murky darkness and stars and moons densely engraved between them.

It felt quite fascinating how the moon shone brilliantly even amidst such deep darkness.

Even though night swallowed all surrounding light,

somehow it couldn’t touch the moon and stars, as the darkness avoided them and gradually settled toward the world.

If only she could shine like that too, and with that thought, a green light flickered before her eyes again.

The dazzlingly brilliant green light she had seen on the night of the festival.

“…Ah.”

Only then did she realize that what she had seen was merely an illusion.

The light that had flickered in her eyes was nothing more than a recollection of someone who had been around her.

Evan Fried. She whispered that name softly.

Clutching her shawl, she exhaled a deep breath.

As emotions welled up again, her chest tightened, and she unconsciously frowned at the discomfort.

Her hand felt painful. Only now realizing she was holding a rose, she tried to let go but found she couldn’t.

It had embedded too deeply.

How could she have known that those thorns, digging into her flesh like hooks, would be so painful when she couldn’t let go?

Her hand, which seemed like it would drip blood at any moment, was fine. It was just pale, almost ghostly white in the light.

She could no longer let go. Knowing this, she could only smile bitterly.

She felt so sorry for him, so sorry for him being caught in her selfishness.

If he didn’t leave, she wouldn’t let go now. She couldn’t let go of the warmth that had seeped into her heart.

She was afraid that if that warmth disappeared, winter would come forever. She couldn’t let go because of that fear.

Perhaps she had been wanting it all along.

Because she knew that the smiling people around her were actually hiding cold mockery,

because she knew that what her family expected from her was perfection.

Someone who would smile even when she made mistakes, someone who would simply smile warmly at her.

Perhaps she had been searching for such a person.

When she turned her head, she saw light flickering in the distance.

In the dark corridor without a single candle, a light that certainly hadn’t been there when she first walked through now swayed its tail as if tempting her.

She moved toward where the blue light of the Crystal Palace, the stars, and the moon rippled.

Why could she see that light ahead?

But her question soon disappeared.

Her knight, who was staring blankly at her sudden appearance, narrowed his eyes and spoke.

“…My lady?”

At last, the darkness that had been covering her eyes like fog seemed to lift.

As if the dark corridor where she had been standing was a lie.

A brilliant radiance began to shine with blue light around her.

In the thick curtain of night, someone who shone alone was looking at her.

Whenever those green eyes, unsuited for autumn, rippled in that darkness,

whenever that golden hair, unsuited for night, fluttered in the wind, her chest would tighten.

After exhaling a heavy breath, she looked at the person standing before her.

“Evan.”

The voice that escaped between her parting lips was warm.

The chill that had always been in her heart had long since disappeared.

When she was with him, somehow that chill melted away, and she could be more comfortable than with anyone else.

Even though she never fell asleep in front of others no matter how tired she was, hadn’t she fallen asleep in front of her knight?

Perhaps the warmth of that blanket that had wrapped her body had transferred to her.

With that thought, she smiled faintly.

Unlike her usual artificial smile, her lips trembled awkwardly with this genuine smile.

“Did you wait long?”

“No, you came earlier than I expected, so I was a bit surprised.”

Now she had to accept it. That Evan Fried was her knight.

Unlike previous knights, he would continue to serve as her knight from now on.

Despite how much she had tried to push him away, now she had no choice but to accept it.

He was different from the people she had seen at the duke’s residence.

He smiled sincerely, worried about her sincerely, and didn’t expect anything from her.

In the darkness that had settled deeply over Yuris, he was a faintly shining star.

As the tightness in her chest finally disappeared, she exhaled once and looked up at the sky again.

The gently curved moon seemed to be smiling at her, so she closed her eyes gently while looking at that sky.

Her now firmly decided heart seemed to instantly release the tightness that had been constricting her like shackles.

Was making up one’s mind such a refreshing thing?

When she opened her closed eyes, her body felt much lighter because everything that had been constricting her had disappeared.

The blowing wind was cool with autumn in it, and what it carried was a grass scent so intense it made her nose tingle.

When she grabbed the cold crystal balcony, the strong wind beat against her cheeks.

But even that felt good. Since the tightness constricting her chest had disappeared, she felt she could accept anything positively.

“Did something happen?”

At that voice, she turned her head to see Evan looking at her with a puzzled expression.

Something had happened. But Evan probably didn’t know that he was involved in it.

“No, nothing happened.”

“…I see.”

Evan’s expression as he answered seemed a little darker than she knew.

Was it because the paint created by this darkness had colored even him?

But since she couldn’t know the exact reason, all she could do was look at him like that.

#

I could immediately notice that the chill surrounding Airin had become much lighter.

The expression of the woman who walked through that dark corridor looked much brighter than before.

It wasn’t just because the moonlight was particularly bright; she looked as if she had resolved some inner concern.

For what reason? But I couldn’t know the answer, so I could only look at her and smile bitterly.

While I felt so stifled, I wondered what she was thinking when she brought me here.

But since I couldn’t reproach Airin, I just placed my hands on the balcony and exhaled a light sigh.

After a while, Airin quietly approached beside me, grabbed the balcony, and looked up at the sky with me.

“…Are you curious why I brought you here?”

Surprised by her sudden words, I nodded and looked at the dark sky.

Airin, still keeping her gaze on the sky, continued speaking.

“Strategic marriages between Roman and Yuris have been common. Of course, regardless of the will of the parties involved, they were arranged to strengthen the bonds between the pillars supporting this empire.”

That was something I knew as well. Not just for her, strategic marriages between high nobles were common.

As a means to preserve each other’s power, the ones who sacrificed in the nobility who chose cooperation over checks and balances were always young men and women.

“We met as children and stamped documents we had no interest in. We didn’t exchange rings and make vows like others. It was just a procedure out of necessity.”

Her blue eyes, which had been looking at the sky, rippled and then narrowed as she looked down from the balcony.

Looking at the numerous carriages set up on the ground, she spoke again.

“Since childhood, Adel and I attended many events together. Whether we liked it or not, we were together because adults told us to be.”

“Then wouldn’t it be more comfortable for you to be together as usual?”

“No, it’s uncomfortable.”

She answered firmly and took her gaze from the sky to look at me.

She seemed to be frowning slightly. As if she was truly and sincerely uncomfortable with her fiancé.

“…I thought it would get better with time. I thought my heart would become a little more comfortable if we always went around together, but it wasn’t at all. The reason I brought you to this ball is, yes. To be honest, it’s because of my selfish heart.”

Selfish heart? When I looked at her with a questioning gaze, Airin narrowed her eyes and spoke.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? That being with someone I’ve known since childhood is less comfortable than being with a knight I’ve only been with for a few months. That’s why I brought you. Because moments with you were more comfortable than being with others.”

“……”

“At first, I didn’t like it much. I thought you would be the same as everyone else I’ve met. Knights like dolls who always perform their duty of guarding with expressionless faces. I thought it would be the same this time, but when I actually met you, you seemed a little different.”

Airin’s expression as she said this looked very relieved.

The dark shadow that had been surrounding her was completely lifted, and the moonlight was breaking down more brightly than ever before.

Was this the story Airin had been holding in her heart?

The corners of my eyes, blankly staring at her, were trembling with surprise.

“I don’t know why I’m like this either… but, just being with you makes my heart comfortable.”

“…My lady.”

She closed her eyes gently, then exhaled a light sigh and continued speaking.

As if she truly didn’t understand, she twisted the corner of her mouth and shook her head once.

“Just a few days ago, I was thinking of pushing you away. I definitely was thinking that way until a few days ago, but now I can’t do that.”

“……”

“From now on, I’m counting on you. Evan.”

At that moment, I could only look at her with a dumbfounded expression.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the meaning of those words; rather, I was confused because I understood their meaning too well.

I thought she was drawing a line with me, that when I tried to approach, she was trying to push it away.

Was that not the case? Was it just my own misunderstanding?

Those words, “I’m counting on you from now on,” felt like a dagger flying and piercing my heart.

That dagger would not come out. No matter how much force I applied to pull it out, that arbitrarily embedded dagger was not something I could remove myself.

Eventually, Airin looked at me and smiled faintly.

A pure smile I had never seen before.

The darkness she had been holding seemed to lift instantly, and the bright moonlight seemed to embrace her.

Stars twinkled. I thought the navy blue dress she was wearing looked just like the night sky.

Her blue eyes, which had always contained a chill, rippled.

As if the ice that had frozen in the cold of winter had somehow melted, those eyes containing an unfitting warmth began to curve gently.

A scenery that only an autumn night could create.

The darkness rising high, and the Crystal Palace brilliantly shining in the moonlight.

But what sparkled more than anything was her with her faint smile.

I could only stare blankly at Airin with my eyes wide open.