Ch.217The Witch of Distrust, Lapis (1)

Anton Kehano’s life was gray.

Not the gray of a city shrouded in mist, but a gray closer to the ash left after firewood has burned out in a hearth. Anton’s life was that kind of ashen gray.

It hadn’t always been that way.

He once had an ordinary life. A life filled with beautiful colors. Days spent honing himself, learning the honor and pride of knighthood, training with a sword in hand. Anton too had days when he lived each moment to the fullest.

“Brother, are you swinging your sword again?”

“Unlike you, I’m not clever, so I must at least swing my sword. How else would I be of use?”

“You never change. Really.”

Chatting with his younger brother, asking after his well-being.

Playing briefly with his nephews and nieces.

Walking around the estate, mingling with knights and soldiers.

“Must life be without laughter? Smile more, Anton.”

“Like this?”

“No. Lift the corners of your mouth more. Vigorously, like this.”

“That makes me look like a clown. Shouldn’t a knight maintain some dignity, Uncle?”

“A handful of laughter is worth more than dignity.”

Ordinary days spent occasionally sharing drinks with his uncle, renowned across the continent. Those ordinary days that seemed like they would last forever came to an abrupt end.

“……”

The estate went up in flames.

“Ah, aah……”

Everything melted away.

The people of the estate he was meant to protect, the soldiers, the knights, his friends, his family—all burned. The flames that slowly devoured the estate blazed for days.

“Ah.”

When the flames died out, only ashes remained. In the center of the estate, where gray ashes swirled, Anton burst into laughter. It was hollow laughter, mockery, a scream. After wailing until his throat was raw, Anton collapsed.

Anton’s life lost its color and turned to ash.

Only Anton and his uncle, Alonso Kehano, survived the inferno. Alonso asked Anton:

“Anton. What will you do now?”

“……”

“Anton.”

“What should I do? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?”

“No. Nothing is predetermined. Everything depends on how you think about it. What is your answer?”

“I will kill the witch.”

Anton took up his sword.

“I will kill every witch. Just as they took everything from me, I will take everything from them.”

“I see.”

“What will you do, Uncle?”

“I plan to take them to La Mancha.”

La Mancha. At those words, Anton’s eyes narrowed.

He glared at his uncle. In his uncle’s hands was a jar filled with ashes he had gathered. But Anton wasn’t looking at the jar; he was staring into his uncle’s eyes.

“Uncle. Are you serious? La Mancha, are you talking about La Mancha?”

“Is there another La Mancha I don’t know about?”

“Uncle, please!”

Anton ground his teeth as he shouted.

“Please live in reality! How long will you remain trapped in those old tales that even children laugh at! The estate has burned down. If we knights of the estate don’t seek revenge, who will avenge their grudges?”

Come with me. Let’s kill all the witches. That’s the only atonement we can make. As Anton spoke thus, Alonso merely shook his head.

“I will follow my own path.”

Alonso Kehano set off on his own journey.

“Anton, you walk your own path.”

Leaving only those words behind, his uncle departed, and Anton went in a different direction. Forward, treading on ashes. He needed nothing for his journey. A single sword was enough.

Anton set fire to his own life.

The fire consumed his life and blazed.

He killed those associated with witches. Wherever a witch was sighted, he went there, no matter where. He killed indiscriminately, tortured indiscriminately.

He killed, and killed, and killed again.

Even as his body burned, oozed pus, and his skin blackened, Anton swung his sword and killed witches. Living like this for decades, he naturally reached a state of transcendence. He burned his life to reach a transcendent state.

In the process of transcending, he discarded many things.

How to smile, how to breathe comfortably, exclamations of wonder at magnificent sights, how to enjoy life, how to rest… Anton willingly discarded everything except what was necessary to kill witches. He used them as firewood to throw into his own flames.

And so, for decades.

Crack.

The fire that had blazed for decades went out silently.

“……”

Though he killed and killed, witches still remained. Anton knew better than anyone how powerful the remaining witches were. Witches who had lived since mythical times. Even if he staked his life, the chances of victory were dismally low.

There is no end. I’ll live like this and die like this.

With nothing left to burn in his life, Anton had no attachment to it. Only a terrible sense of duty remained. Anton wandered, looking for a place to die.

“Boy.”

Then one day.

“Are you that witch hunter?”

Someone spoke to Anton.

“Look at you. You look like a beggar. Living such a hard life. Isn’t it exhausting to live that way?”

A voice mixed with a little pity and a little laughter.

“Hey, I’ve lived like that too. But let me tell you, there’s no answer there. It’s no fun living that way. You live like shit and die like shit.”

“……”

“Look at this guy? When someone speaks, you should at least pretend to listen. What, am I not even a person to you? Funny bastard. Hey. Hey.”

Tap tap. The weight of someone patting his back.

Then, smack!

As a hand struck the back of his head, Anton turned around.

“Now we can have a proper conversation. Hello? Ah, I can tell by your eyes. Those eyes that refuse to listen.”

A pale purple.

Hair like morning glories.

“After burning so much, you still want to burn more? Well, if that’s the case…”

A white, slender hand.

“I’ll be your firewood. You already killed the Witch of Heat, right? You need new firewood. Isn’t that so?”

A little pain, and half his heart extracted.

“Then use me, who has taken your heart, as your firewood. Won’t life become somewhat bearable if you have something to burn?”

A woman with a mischievous smile.

For the first time in decades, Anton met someone’s gaze and asked the woman before him: Who are you?

“Me?”

To that question, the woman answered with a truly charming smile.

“Lapis.”

She said.

“The Witch of Distrust.”

2.

The Witch of Distrust, Lapis.

Anton Kehano began pursuing the witch who had taken half his heart.

In truth, it wasn’t much of a pursuit.

Lapis always stayed in her sanctuary, and finding its location wasn’t difficult. Moreover, Lapis didn’t prevent Anton from entering her sanctuary. It was as if she was saying he could come whenever he wanted.

Then was her sanctuary fortified like a fortress?

That wasn’t the case either. Far from a fortress, it was just a hut built on a hill. A peaceful space bathed in warm sunlight. Anton, who had prepared all sorts of equipment to confront a witch, couldn’t help but be bewildered.

Standing in front of the hut and pondering, Anton knocked on the door.

“……”

There stood Lapis, wearing comfortable everyday clothes rather than a robe. She seemed to have just woken up, rubbing her eyes, and after looking at Anton, she pressed her forehead and sighed.

“When visiting a lady, notification is basic. At the very least, you should bring a bouquet of flowers. Are you really visiting a lady’s house looking like that beggar?”

Lapis glared.

“Again.”

Then she waved her hand lightly and shooed Anton away. Only after a day had passed could Anton enter the sanctuary again.

“Shit, don’t you want your heart back? I’ll just boil this and eat it.”

Again, again, again.

After similar incidents repeated several times, Anton began to comply with Lapis’s demands, though he wondered what the point was. He cut his hair. He trimmed his unkempt beard.

“……”

“What’s wrong? Still not enough?”

“No. I’m just surprised. I thought back then that you’d look decent if you cut your hair and trimmed your beard… What are you? You’ve been walking around with that face looking like that?”

“It’s not necessary for killing witches.”

“Well, I suppose that’s your reasoning.”

“Is this enough now?”

“Where are the flowers?”

“……”

Lapis waved her hand.

“Again.”

Finally, Anton was able to enter the hut only after picking a flower. The hut he entered was filled with all kinds of books.

“So, are you going to return my heart now?”

“Depends on what you do.”

“Listen. I’m a witch hunter. The one sitting before you has killed at least thirty of your kind…”

“What are you talking about, you piece of shit.”

“What?”

“Hey, do you know Merlin? Merlin?”

“The great magician of the Round Table?”

“Yes. I’m a witch who survived a battle with that Merlin. I haven’t lived all these years to be defeated by a little shit like you.”

Lapis flicked her finger with a grin.

“What? Want to try?”

Nine circles. Nine stars.

Anton’s senses heightened at the aura Lapis emitted. The strongest opponent among all the witches he had encountered. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t win.

If he devised a strategy, risked his life, and sacrificed something else, somehow…

As he was thinking this, a question crept into Anton’s mind. What are you planning to discard this time? Do you have anything left to discard? And if you kill the witch before you, what will you do next? Anton couldn’t answer these questions.

“Your expression says you have no answer. Scared?”

“…You.”

“Hmm? What?”

“Why don’t you kill me? I’ve massacred your kind. Tortured them. Aren’t I like an enemy to you?”

“Not at all.”

Lapis tilted her head.

“Sorry, but my kind has killed at least hundreds of thousands to millions of humans? They died because they deserved to die. And I don’t particularly like my kind.”

“Why is that?”

“They live consumed by hatred, and that doesn’t seem particularly fun. Hating, getting annoyed, getting angry, loathing, cursing—what’s fun about living like that?”

Lapis sipped her tea and said.

“I’ve lived that way, and it wasn’t fun. I find it much more satisfying to sit in the sunshine, have a cup of tea, look at pretty flowers, and read interesting novels.”

“……”

“I’ve killed humans too. I’ve drowned many humans who tried to take precious things from me, so aren’t we similar? If I were to curse you, it would be like spitting in my own face.”

Slurp, Lapis handed Anton a teacup filled with tea.

“Drink.”

“……”

“If you don’t want to, then don’t. What, can’t drink something a witch has brewed?”

Eventually, Anton drank the tea. Though he had lived hating witches, for some reason, he couldn’t be angry at the woman before him. Rather, he felt like he was the one being foolish.

After sipping the tea, Anton’s expression hardened.

It wasn’t that it contained poison. It was simply, purely, that it tasted bad. It tasted so terribly bad that Anton spat out the tea.

“You call this tea?”

“What? You drink it and then complain…”

“Give it here. That’s not how you brew tea.”

“What? Tea is tea.”

“Try this.”

“Such a fuss. Let’s see if it’s really any different.”

After sipping the tea, Lapis was silent.

She looked at Anton and the tea alternately with a shocked expression, then slowly nodded.

“It is different. I have to admit.”

“Of course.”

“How did you brew this? The method?”

The method of brewing tea. Everyday conversation. And chatter.

In the end, Anton spent the whole day chatting and then left. He even forgot his purpose of retrieving his heart. The sunset he saw as he parted from Lapis was beautiful.

Anton was surprised that he still had the ability to look at something and feel that it was beautiful.

It was also surprising that he could engage in trivial chatter to the point of forgetting his purpose.

“……”

“You’re here? Let’s see what flowers you’ve brought today.”

And so.

“Hey, witch.”

“What flower today? No other gifts?”

Using the excuse of finding his heart, Anton.

“Hey.”

“Where are the flowers?”

Visited Lapis every day.

“Lapis.”

“You’re here again?”

From silence to “witch,” from “witch” back to “Lapis.”

With the same steps that had once wandered endlessly searching for witches, Anton now headed to Lapis’s hut, and with the hands that had once held a sword and tortured witches, he now searched for flowers to gift to Lapis.

“So, Lapis? I found out about the next part of that novel you asked about before…”

“Really? So what happened?”

Unlike in the past when he searched for information to kill witches, he now collected information that would please Lapis.

“So…”

He talked. He chatted.

At first, he acted to please Lapis in order to retrieve his heart from her, but at some point, that became merely a pretext.

He enjoyed conversing with Lapis.

He looked forward to seeing her smile.

The ability to breathe comfortably, the sensibility to look at scenery and feel its beauty, emotions—he thought he had discarded all these things, but they were merely buried under the ashes.

“Lapis.”

“Yes, Anton.”

If he cleared away the ashes, there was color beneath. Color returned to his ashen life. A pale purple. Looking at the morning glory blooming amidst the ashes, Anton smiled.

“Thank you.”

He doesn’t know exactly when it happened.

Was it at their first meeting, the moment she took his heart, the moment she offered him tea, the first time he saw her smile? Or was it all of these?

Anton fell in love.

Lapis became everything to him.

The human who had lost his life to a witch, paradoxically, felt life again because of a witch.

To see Lapis smile once, Anton ventured into dangerous places to pick flowers, and to elicit a single exclamation of admiration from her, he groomed himself. His appearance, which had been close to that of a beggar, became human-like, and his ragged attire transformed into neat clothing suitable for a ball.

“Actually, you know.”

As Anton grew closer to Lapis, Lapis too began to speak to Anton without reserve.

“I told you otherwise, but I don’t really like humans. Why do you think I’m the Witch of Distrust? I’ve been burned by humans more than once or twice.”

Distrust.

“In fact, I don’t trust you either. Basically, I can’t trust anyone. That’s my mystery. I was born that way.”

A witch betrayed by humans, by other witches, by the world.

The witch, who had as many scars as the price of trust, smiled bitterly and held out Anton’s heart to him.

“Let’s end it here, you and I. I don’t want to be hurt by you.”

“……”

“Just up to here. Yes, let’s not cross the line. Life’s better for you now, isn’t it? I’ll return your heart to you, and you’ll keep only good memories of me. End of story. Clean and simple.”

Half of his heart.

Anton smiled faintly and said.

“Then you take it. My half.”

“What?”

“If you think I’ll betray you, you can just destroy that heart, can’t you? I’m not asking you to trust me. Doubt me. Keep doubting me.”

“……”

“I love you, Lapis.”

A moment of silence. Then a voice that seemed flustered.

“That’s a sudden confession. There’s no atmosphere for it.”

“We can create the atmosphere.”

Anton knelt down.

He had prepared a ring, but now he had a more explicit token. Anton handed his heart to Lapis.

“…Dating me won’t end well for you.”

“Don’t worry. I like passionate women.”

“It’s love between a witch and a human. There’s no greater taboo than that. And aren’t you a knight?”

“I can just quit that.”

“After all that talk about chivalry, honor, and pride?”

“There’s something more important right in front of me.”

“I…”

“Lapis.”

Anton smiled faintly.

“Whatever you say is useless. You are already everything to me. Whatever excuse you make, I will shake my head.”

“If we date, I’ll have to leave you?”

“Then I’ll find you.”

“It’ll be hard to find me. It’ll take a very long time.”

“Hmm, that might indeed be difficult. In that case, before you leave, can you give me a definite memory? A memory that won’t fade no matter how much time passes.”

“You’re such a fool, really.”

Lapis brushed her face.

Slightly, and for the first time, Lapis blushed and took Anton’s outstretched hand.

“This is your choice.”

“The best choice I’ll never regret.”

“You and your words.”

Ordinarily.

“Anton?”

Here, Anton would spend the night with Lapis. And the next day, Lapis would leave Anton. That’s what happened in the past.

But at this moment, Anton made a different choice.

A brief kiss.

And then, Anton stepped away from Lapis.

“Let’s postpone what comes next for a while.”

With a dashing smile, Anton handed Lapis a flower. It was a red rose he had cultivated to give to Lapis when he met her again.

“Because I’m still dreaming.”

3.

Anton opened his eyes in reality.

Looking back, there was the path he had walked. Steps imprinted one by one, without skipping a single step. Looking ahead, only the stairs leading to the top floor remained.

He had completed the trial.

The trial forced him to choose between dream and reality, but Anton refused to give up either. How could he? He had endured 400 years always dreaming of Lapis. To give up that dream? How could that make sense?

This was Anton Kehano’s answer.

He chose neither and broke through the trial. Taking one step at a time, falling into dreams and waking in reality repeatedly, he finally reached his destination.

Thud.

As his legs gave out and Anton was about to collapse forward, someone grabbed his arm. Anton lowered his gaze. Standing beside him was the guide.

“Have you awakened from your dream?”

“No, I’m still dreaming.”

With Najin’s support, Anton stood up.

Up the stairs to the final floor.

To his destination where Lapis would be waiting.