Ch.217Epilogue – Forgiveness (End)

*

When I returned to the mansion after spending time outside and the sun had set, a strange atmosphere always greeted me.

Though filled with cozy lights, an unfamiliar tension flowed through the air,

and while fragrant food aromas wafted about, a foul gloominess floated heavily in the atmosphere.

And then,

“Ash!”

A voice filled with beautiful yet clingy emotions welcomed me.

“You’ve had a long day.”

My wife approached me, kindly substituting the word “hardship” for a husband who had spent all day wandering outside watching clouds.

Sylvia spoke without waiting for my response.

Her attitude suggested it was obvious I wouldn’t say anything anyway.

“Dinner time has already passed, but I was waiting for you today too.”

Sylvia emphasized the words “today too” as she spoke.

It wasn’t intentional.

In reality, she waited for my return every day.

It was to have dinner with me, who skipped both breakfast and lunch after leaving the mansion early in the morning.

Judging by the rich, savory aroma wafting from the distant dining table, she must have gone hunting outside again today.

If my daily routine was cemetery maintenance, hers was essentially preparing this dinner.

But I hadn’t eaten dinner with her for the past few months.

I would always pass by her with cloudy eyes and return to my room.

Once, Sylvia, unable to bear it anymore, forcibly sat me at the table, but I just glared at her silently.

It was a kind of childish protest.

Don’t you know this body doesn’t need to eat?

Have you forgotten that you’re the one who made me into a body that doesn’t need to eat?

Just this.

Did you kill our child for this kind of married life, where you can’t even share a pleasant dinner with your husband?

When I stared at her with an expression conveying such meaning, Sylvia couldn’t make any more demands of me.

I would watch her force food down her throat, and when the meal ended, I would get up first and go to my room.

I remember the stairs that day feeling steeper than usual as I walked, deliberately ignoring Sylvia crying quietly.

I also clearly remember that Sylvia entered the bedroom much later than usual that day.

Yes, despite everything, we still shared a bedroom.

Actually, at first I hated even sleeping in the same room, but Sylvia wouldn’t yield on that point.

If I tried to go to another room, she would forcibly control my body, lay me on the bed, and remove my pants.

I would send her another resentful gaze as she pounced on me, my mouth firmly shut.

“Hey… Ash.”

“…”

“I know you don’t eat dinner well… but, um,”

A bright voice forced out artificially.

But the expectation that her wish would be fulfilled had already faded within it.

“Won’t you eat with me today?”

Sylvia asked in a voice that sounded like it was weakly collapsing.

What she was waiting for wasn’t an unexpected answer, but the rejection that always came.

“…”

I silently looked at Sylvia.

I could see her face sinking heavily.

The lavish dinner she prepared every day with all her might in this broken world, with cooking skills inferior to mine.

Even though she knew she would be rejected,

Even without expecting me to accept.

Why had she been so diligent in preparing dinner?

Why did she so foolishly repeat this devotion that could never be conveyed?

“…”

I was still in love with Sylvia.

Despite hating her so much, feeling hurt and scared, I could feel affection and sympathy for her welling up from deep within my heart.

The guilt I felt while coldly rejecting her proposals every day was proof of that.

“…”

Forgive her.

I had resolved to do so, and Sylvia had surely suffered enough by now.

It was time to forgive her.

Though I thought this, for some reason my lips wouldn’t move easily.

At that moment, Sylvia spoke first.

“Yes… I understand.”

While I hesitated to answer, Sylvia said with a weak smile.

“Go to the room first. I’ll…”

“…”

“Clean up… the meal…”

Sylvia couldn’t finish her sentence.

I squeezed my eyes shut, avoiding her expression.

What a pathetic man.

Being an idiot who could neither forgive nor get angry, I had caused such pain to the people who loved me and whom I loved.

Despite having gone so far as to defeat the Demon King, I still hadn’t progressed at all from my weak self who lived in the forest.

… Enough now.

It was time to stop this pathetic behavior.

With that resolution, I slowly took a breath.

“… Today.”

“…!”

Sylvia jerked her head up with wide eyes.

I too slowly relaxed my tightly closed eyes and continued speaking.

“What’s… on the menu?”

“Ah…”

“…”

“Ah, ah, deer, it’s deer. The deer in this region have more meat and are more tender than the ones living in the forest!”

“I see.”

“There’s a lot to eat…”

“… Let’s eat together. Today… no, from today on,”

“…!”

Sylvia froze in place.

Her jewel-like blue eyes seemed to swell up.

Looking closely, they were filling with moisture.

When Sylvia blinked those large, beautiful eyes, a big teardrop broke and poured out.

I slowly approached Sylvia.

“I’m sorry.”

I said as I embraced Sylvia’s back.

Sylvia slowly raised her hands and barely placed them around my waist.

As if she didn’t dare to fully embrace me.

Then she gradually lowered her forehead onto my shoulder and spoke in a trembling voice.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry, Ash… I was wrong…”

“… Yes, Sylvia was wrong.”

“I’m sorry… thank you… I thought you would never speak to me first again…”

“…”

“… I was so scared… I was so afraid of you leaving… I did such a terrible thing because I was scared… I’m still so terrified of you trying to leave me…”

“Yes…”

“I wanted to live with you… but you still want to die… no, I made you want to die…”

“At first… that was my intention.”

Only then did Sylvia tightly embrace me.

A desperate embrace like trying to hold onto sand slipping through fingers.

No, it was more like clinging than embracing.

“Why…”

“Hmm?”

“Why… did you forgive me?”

“… When did I say I forgave you?”

“Huh…”

Sylvia took a deep breath, closed her mouth, and froze stiffly.

She seemed to be blaming herself for her slip of the tongue.

It wasn’t her fault.

In reality, my attitude was so ambivalent that even I couldn’t make sense of it.

From the beginning, it was difficult to completely hate her because her terrible deed stemmed from her tender desire to see me again.

At the same time, to completely forgive her would be too cruel to me, Sister Maria, the demon boy, and our child who vanished without even being given a name.

The reproach that ignoring her for half a year should be enough and the question of whether such a sin could be forgiven with just that much suffering attacked me simultaneously.

Both were valid opinions, and ultimately the choice was entirely mine.

I made my decision.

To not forgive her, and to love her whom I could not forgive.

In truth, I knew that choosing love was essentially the same as forgiving her.

I could feel strict moral principles scolding me.

But looking at Sylvia’s face, one would understand it was an inevitable choice.

That desperate face anxiously watching my every move.

I laughed at how foolish that strong hero looked.

She could have pressured me as much as she wanted, and forcibly extracted love from my throat.

She could have used threats or violence, or literally controlled me with just the flick of a finger.

But she didn’t.

I could no longer turn away from her as she sincerely begged for my love and forgiveness.

“I really hate you so much, I hate you enough that I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“…”

“But I still can’t dislike you. What should I do?”

“Ah, aah… ugh.”

Something hot and wet soaked my shoulder.

I quietly embraced Sylvia’s head.

*

The taste of food after such a long time was difficult to describe.

Beyond good or bad, it felt more like my tongue wasn’t functioning properly.

Whether this was because I hadn’t tasted food for so long, or a side effect of my undead body, I couldn’t tell, but I didn’t show this confusing sensation.

I judged it wasn’t important enough to ruin this long-awaited mealtime between husband and wife.

Originally, Sylvia’s cooking skills were inferior to mine.

It might have simply been her lack of skill.

Besides, I didn’t really have the presence of mind to properly taste anything.

From Sylvia’s beautiful eyes, resembling a sunlit lake, sweet gazes flowed like honey.

The gaze that burst through her crescent-moon eye smile was so sweet that I couldn’t taste anything else.

In my opinion, this was the most plausible hypothesis.

…

I suddenly realize how hopelessly in love with her I still am.

If it had been Sylvia who died instead of me, wouldn’t I have made the same choice as her?

“… Ash?”

“Yes.”

“What are you thinking about so intently?”

I could hear faint anxiety in Sylvia’s voice.

She was carefully watching for any sign that my mood might have soured.

The proud warrior’s spirit I had felt when I first met her was nowhere to be found.

It was a change brought about by the half year I had spent ignoring her.

Suddenly.

Goosebumps ran through my entire body.

“Ah…”

A tingling sensation piercing my spine.

Of course, even if I got goosebumps, my skin no longer raised, but at least this sensation still remained with me.

“Sylvia.”

“…y-yes?”

“When I died. How did it feel?”

“…”

Sylvia made a pained expression.

Despite having seen her injured many times, I had never seen her make such a pain-filled expression.

For her to be in such agony just from remembering,

Sylvia bit her lip, unable to find appropriate words, but I had already received a sufficient answer.

After I entered the forest, in less than half a year, she fell in love with me.

Half a year after we left the forest, she lost her pride.

For four years she suffered but maintained her last conscience as a hero, then she abandoned all her duties and beliefs as a hero and forcibly revived me.

“I see…”

It’s me.

The one who made her like this.

And the one who made me like this.

In the end, it’s me.

“Sylvia.”

“…Yes.”

“I’m sorry for making you wait all this time.”

I have no right to reproach Sylvia.

Because I corrupted her.

She had clearly told me.

That if it hadn’t been Ash who entered the forest, she would never have fallen in love.

If that’s true, then I ruined her.

The person who made her like this is ultimately me.

“…”

I slowly put down my utensils and pushed back my chair to stand up.

Sylvia followed my movements with trembling eyes.

Don’t worry.

This time I’m not trying to run away.

I won’t run away anymore.

“… Ash?”

I approached her.

The sharp sound of my shoe heels striking the floor echoed across the table.

Standing beside Sylvia, I slowly placed my hand on her cheek.

This was also the first time in half a year that I had touched her body first.

Unlike my tongue, which responded dully to stimuli after half a year, her body received my touch with extreme sensitivity.

She literally jumped in her chair.

I slowly slid my hand from her cheek to her nape.

Then, gently gripping the back of her neck and pulling her closer, I said:

“I love you.”

“Ah… aaah.”

Sylvia let out an emotional moan that couldn’t be called human language.

It was the response of an idiot devoid of intelligence.

The stimulus must have been scrambling her brain.

Her pathetic state, which I had completed, was both lovable and pitiful.

Lust and guilt, affection and compassion surge like fierce flames.

Anger and hatred had already been completely burned or melted away.

Our lips meet.

Even with my dulled skin, I could feel how hot her breath was.

Slowly exchanging the air in our lungs.

As I broke through the savory oil film of the deer meat, her sweet and soft tongue revealed its presence.

Sylvia slowly raised her hands and grabbed my face and neck, stroking them frantically.

“Ha…”

Gasping breaths,

And her lips rushing in again.

The longing mixed in her breath seemed to turn even my head into that of a fool.

Yes. I wish I could become an idiot like this.

Ash, Sylvia, and Pia.

There are no normal people in this mansion anyway.

Mom, Dad, Layla, Maria, Sister Alice.

All the good people are dead.

Broken humans left alone on a broken world.

From the moment I was revived, I had no other choice.

Sylvia just gave me time to sort out my feelings.

I finally accepted reality.

“I love you.”

That’s what Sylvia said.

Those words were one of the few clear truths in this ruined world and our relationship.

Looking at Sylvia, I smiled helplessly and said:

“I love you, Sylvia Staff.”

“… !”

Sylvia immediately understood the meaning.

Giving her my surname.

It was a declaration that we had become husband and wife.

“I’m sorry. Come to think of it, I’m quite late…”

Indeed, it was rather late.

It was something I should have done before dying.

At first, I didn’t do it because of the joy of returning home, then because I was gradually dying, and finally because I hoped she would love someone new.

But in the end, she never loved anyone new.

As she said, the person she loves is Ash Staff.

“Remember?”

“…”

“I wanted to marry Sylvia.”

“That’s… how you persuaded me. Saying let’s get married, that you wanted a wedding ceremony… that you wanted to declare me as yours in front of people, so let’s kill the Demon King… that’s how you persuaded me.”

“A wedding ceremony… would be meaningless with only Pia as a guest…”

“… That’s true.”

“Still.”

I embraced Sylvia with all the strength I could muster.

“We are husband and wife.”

Her hands, which had been holding my cheeks, gradually moved downward.

Neck, shoulders, arms.

Her hands, sliding down, stopped at my waist.

Sylvia opened her trembling lips slowly and said:

“Do you… remember? What I wanted?”

I nodded.

“Family. You wanted to become a family with me.”

“But you left me alone…”

“…”

Because she killed our child.

But I could no longer blame her.

Sylvia, knowing her own fault, didn’t press me further.

She only asked with a voice tinged with faint hope.

“Is it done now?”

“…”

“Have we really become a family, a married couple?”

I nodded.

“Yes.”

“…!”

At that moment, her hands gripping my waist tightened with fierce strength.

It was such strong pressure that I felt as if my waist might break.

Sylvia was sitting, and I was standing, but she lifted my body with just the strength of her arms.

My vision soared into the air and then plummeted downward.

She kicked away the chair as she stood up and threw my body onto the dining table.

Dishes fell to the floor with a crash.

Sylvia swept away the remaining dishes with her arm and slammed her palms down on either side of my face, trapping it.

“Sylvia?”

“… Say it.”

“…”

Perhaps because she was backlit by the ceiling.

Sylvia’s eyes had lost their light, sinking like the dark, murky bottom of a lake.

“Say ‘darling’.”

“… Darling.”

“Haa… ungh,”

Sylvia groaned as she grabbed my collar.

The buttons on my chest popped off as my collar was sucked into her grip, which was tightly clenched as if trying to hold onto a long lingering sensation.

My chest was reflected in her dark eyes.

Both she and I knew what was about to happen.

It was husband and wife time.

.