Ch.216The Black Tower (7)

I woke up from a deep dream.

Najin blinked to clear his blurry vision. After blinking several times, his sight finally recovered. What came into view was a cold, chilly floor. He was inside the Black Tower.

Squeeze.

Najin pressed his finger against his forehead. He must have been dreaming, but he didn’t want to dismiss what had just happened as a mere dream.

‘Merlin said she lost her memories.’

After Arthur died and she obtained the 12th star, she experienced some incident and carved out her memories. Merlin had told Najin that once.

‘Half right.’

Half wrong. Right?

Merlin had never said such a thing, but somehow Najin felt like he’d heard that voice. He couldn’t help but smile.

‘She didn’t carve out memories, but separated her existence.’

Into herself as a fairy living in dreams.

And herself as a human living in reality.

‘For none other than to bury the Final Star.’

Najin didn’t know exactly what the Final Star was. But Merlin had described it as “close to a curse,” and said it was a star that hindered their journey ahead, one that must be buried.

Though he couldn’t understand yet, it was something he needed to figure out. Najin took a deep breath and turned his gaze.

-······.

There was Merlin, fidgeting anxiously. She was mumbling with her lips while glancing at Najin with eyes full of unease. As if she had many questions but was afraid to ask them.

“Merlin.”

-Hmm?

Najin didn’t say much to her.

“I don’t think you need to be so afraid. It wasn’t the kind of story you’re worried about.”

-What do you think I’m worried about?

“I mean it wasn’t the kind of brutal, terrible, messy story. Rather, it was the opposite.”

Najin repeatedly clenched and unclenched his hand.

“Merlin was originally a prophet, right? You first made your name as a prophet, not a magician.”

-It was so long ago… but that’s right, isn’t it? Before meeting Arthur, I made my name as a prophet.

Merlin seemed reluctant as she said this.

She didn’t particularly like her eyes that could see the future, and after meeting Arthur, she had practically sealed that ability away, so it was natural. She’d had more than her share of trouble from seeing the future.

“Can you still use that now?”

-No? I can’t use it.

“Why not?”

-Because I lost that ability. I think I lost it when I dropped the 12th star… Come to think of it, it is strange, isn’t it? Why would I lose future sight just because I dropped a star?

Merlin tilted her head.

Najin couldn’t help but smile at the sight. After all, he knew why she had lost her ability to see the future.

-W-what? Why are you smiling?

“Just because I think I understand.”

-Understand what?

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

-Hey, are you really going to be like this? We promised back then that there would be no secrets between us!

“What are you talking about? I’m not keeping any secrets.”

Najin glibly played it off.

“It’s just a conversation I had with the Merlin from 1000 years ago.”

-Whaat?

What exactly did you see there?

As Merlin grabbed Najin’s clothes and shook them, Najin let out a long breath.

Indeed, it wasn’t a dream.

Or rather, even if it was a dream, it didn’t matter.

To the past Merlin who chose to live in dreams, dreams were reality. Then for him, her companion, all of it was as good as reality.

“You said our first meeting was the worst.”

Najin muttered.

“I should correct that.”

It wasn’t the worst.

Rather, it was the opposite.

-What exactly did you see? What conversation did you have with me in the past? Hey, heey······!

“I made a promise.”

-What promise?

“To see you again.”

Let’s meet again.

Though brief, Najin put a lot of meaning into those short words. When he spoke them, he was looking not at the current Merlin, but at the Merlin of the past.

Let’s meet again.

Not now, but in the future.

Understanding the meaning in his gaze and the intent behind those brief words, Merlin had answered with a smile at the end. That she would be waiting in the future, a thousand years later. Recalling Merlin’s face, smiling through tears, Najin muttered.

“I should keep that promise.”

The City of Eternity.

Now he had a definite reason to go there.

-Who on earth are you talking to?

Of course, from Merlin’s perspective, unable to follow the situation, this was maddening. Merlin thumped her chest in frustration.

-Haven’t you already kept the promise?

Merlin stomped her feet and pointed at herself.

-Right now! In front of you! I’m standing here!

As Merlin screeched, Najin let it go in one ear and out the other. As he always did.

2.

-You need to respect me.

It took some time to appease the sulking Merlin, but the situation was eventually resolved. Najin looked at the stairs leading to the top of the tower.

Just climbing those stairs would take them to the highest floor of the Black Tower.

The destination Anton Kehano had been searching for over 400 years, where his lover awaited. However, Anton had stopped with his destination right in front of him.

“······.”

Najin looked at Anton.

Kneeling with his head bowed, Anton was still trapped in his dream. He showed no signs of waking up. Najin looked at Anton with a complicated expression.

The higher they climbed the tower, the more exhausted Anton became.

With each higher level, the time it took for Anton to wake from his dreams grew longer, and even after waking, he would stare blankly into space for a long time.

“Ah? Ah. Aah. That’s right.”

“I must climb.”

“I must climb the tower.”

“Because Lapis will be waiting······.”

Anton’s eyes never shone as they usually did when he muttered these words. Opaque, hazy eyes, as if dreaming. Like someone drunk on alcohol, Anton was becoming intoxicated by his dreams.

-There’s no way for you to help.

Merlin said.

-You can’t intervene in the Trial of Reminiscence from the outside. One must overcome it alone. That’s what makes it more vicious.

Several hours later, Anton finally woke from his dream. But that didn’t mean he had overcome the trial.

“Aah.”

Anton groaned as he woke from his dream.

“So it was a dream after all.”

He gritted his teeth and got up. And the moment he took a step forward, he fell back into the dream. Only after several hours did he open his eyes again, and the moment he took another step forward, he fell back into the dream.

“······.”

Watching this, Najin spoke.

“Wasn’t the trial supposed to be just once?”

-It is just once.

Merlin looked at Anton with sympathetic eyes.

-It just continues endlessly until you overcome it.

“What do you mean by endlessly?”

-In the end, what the Trial of Reminiscence in this Black Tower demands is one thing. To choose reality over dreams.

Merlin pointed at Anton.

-He’s trying to wake up from the dream, but he can’t completely let go of it. Especially in this level that shows the happiest memories.

I want to wake up from the dream.

But I can’t give up the dream either.

-If you can’t cut off one side, you can’t move forward.

That’s why even when Anton wakes up from the dream, he falls back into it the moment he takes a step forward, Merlin explained. Najin silently watched Anton.

“Lapis, Lapis!”

Screaming as he opened his eyes, Anton looked around, gasping for breath. When his eyes met Najin’s, he seemed to realize it was a dream and smiled bitterly.

“······How many times is this now?”

“Seven times.”

Anton looked behind him. He checked how far he had walked. Then, Anton turned his head forward. He gauged how far he still had to go.

“It’s far.”

Fatigue showed in Anton’s eyes. But he forced a smile and put on a brave face.

“But not so far that I can’t reach it.”

One step. Several hours of dreaming.

“For the past 400 years, I’ve been walking endlessly without knowing where to go, where she might be.”

One step. Several more hours.

“Compared to that, now my destination is right in front of me. I can feel her up there. It’s really not far now.”

Tap.

“So a trial like this.”

Tap.

“Is far too insufficient to stop my love.”

It took several hours to take one step forward, and it took days for him to finish his sentence. The time it took for Anton to wake from his dreams grew longer with each step he took.

At first it was two or three hours, but from the tenth step it exceeded 10 hours, and by the twentieth step, he spent a whole day wandering in his dream.

And time in dreams is not the same as in reality.

Najin had spent dozens of days with Merlin in the dream, but in reality, only a few hours had passed. Najin thought the same would be true for the time Anton spent in his dreams.

“······.”

When they reached about halfway through the final level.

“Aah.”

Anton finally stopped.

He sat down in place.

“Just a little.”

He groaned, covering his face with his hands.

“Let me rest, just a little.”

3.

Anton’s eyes were sunken.

He pressed his fingertips against the corners of his eyes and let out a long breath. The breath he exhaled settled heavily.

“It’s hard.”

The Anton who muttered this was different from the Anton that Najin had seen until now. The always confident Anton who never complained about hardship was nowhere to be seen.

“It’s hard. I’m starting to have trouble distinguishing which is reality and which is dream. I’m even beginning to wonder if there’s any need to live in reality at all.”

What remained was a wretched human.

A human who had wandered for 400 years chasing a single dream.

“I know. I know I shouldn’t think like that. But imagine, oarsman.”

“Imagine what?”

“When I close my eyes, it unfolds. Happy memories. Memories of dating her unfold. From the day I first confessed my love to her, to the day she finally took my hand. No, perhaps even beyond that.”

Anton groaned.

“In the dream, she’s smiling. Smiling happily. Lapis, who spent her whole life hating herself, hating the world, hating everything so much that she didn’t even know how to smile properly, is smiling.”

He smiled bitterly.

“When I see that smile, I think.”

Would she be disappointed in me?

That’s what I think.

Anton’s expression was dark as he said this.

“Disappointed? Why?”

“Because it took too long.”

“······.”

“400 years. A full 400 years. She disappeared leaving only the words, ‘Find me, Anton.’ She probably believed I would find her soon.”

And 400 years had passed since then.

“It’s such a long time. I’ve been avoiding facing it until now, but I can’t avoid it anymore.”

“Are you afraid?”

“I hate to admit it, but yes. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that Lapis might have broken waiting for me all that time, that she might hate me, resent me.”

Anton raised his head and looked ahead.

There was still a long way to go. And that path was not one someone else could walk for him. Even the sturdy oarsman’s oar couldn’t row the water for him.

If Najin tried to push or pull Anton, the tower would judge it as the ‘wrong method.’

In the end, it was something Anton had to resolve himself.

But Anton couldn’t easily take a step forward.

“Above all, I’m afraid.”

He looked at his own hands.

“It’s not easy to wake up from the dream. It’s taking longer. I’m afraid that as I keep trying to move forward, I might completely fall into the dream, that I might do something stupid like choosing to live in the dream.”

Anton clenched his fist tightly.

“To falter like this with the destination in sight. How pathetic. For the century’s greatest lover to sit down here.”

Anton tried to put on a brave face. It was a half-hearted bravado. He was still afraid to move forward. Anton was hesitating, as if unable to make up his mind.

“The Black Tower. This tower.”

Najin spoke.

“As we climbed the tower, the witch Lapis you were looking for was nowhere to be seen.”

“······That’s right.”

“She wasn’t in the level that shows the most painful memories, nor in the level that shows the most intense memories, nor in the levels that show terrible memories, sad memories, or fearful memories.”

Najin listed the levels that Anton had crossed.

Najin wasn’t trying to advise Anton now. He wasn’t trying to tell him what he should or shouldn’t do.

“Finally, here. She’s not in this level that shows the happiest memories either. Only the top floor remains.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“It means the witch you’re looking for has already climbed to the top of the tower. And she hasn’t come back down even after 400 years.”

Just facts. Najin stated objective facts. He reminded Anton of facts that Anton already knew but had forgotten in his dream-intoxicated state.

“You know what that means, don’t you?”

“······.”

“She chose reality over dreams. And that choice hasn’t changed even after 400 years. That’s what it means.”

Najin didn’t know much about the witch called Lapis.

But he could tell that she had chosen to live in reality, not in sweet dreams. The fact that she was still waiting at the top of the tower even after 400 years must mean that.

“What will you do?”

Najin asked.

The role of a guide was to ask questions. Answering those questions was up to the person walking the path.

“······.”

And Anton Kehano was silent.

With his head bowed, he rubbed his face. As he did so, he burst into laughter. After the silence, he answered Najin’s question.

“You’re harsh, guide.”

“Isn’t it true that the more difficult the path, the sweeter the reward?”

“You’re right.”

Anton raised his head.

“Yes. You’re right, guide.”

He tightly gripped his knees and slowly stood up.

“When a lady is waiting for me with her neck stretched out, I can’t let my feet be tied by such a pathetic trial.”

With a thud.

Anton took a strong step forward.