Ch.213The Black Tower (4)

Najin recalled the day she first met Merlin.

To be honest, it was the worst first impression. From Merlin’s perspective, Najin was an arrogant kid who had insulted Arthur, and from Najin’s perspective, Merlin made her wonder, “Is this really the legendary great wizard?”

Merlin, openly displaying hostility.

And herself, observing such a Merlin.

The only difference between then and now was that Merlin’s eyes were no longer shining.

‘No, there’s one more thing.’

Back then, she had been wary of Merlin, but now she wasn’t.

‘Because there’s no need to be.’

Najin abruptly sat down. Knowing that Merlin disliked looking up at others, she lowered her posture to match eye level so Merlin wouldn’t have to raise her head.

“……”

Merlin narrowed her eyes and glared at Najin.

She seemed about to say something about not looking down on her, but Najin had already lowered herself, stealing the words from her mouth.

“I’ve only heard stories about Merlin being the greatest wizard, but I’ve never actually seen it for myself.”

Najin spoke while looking at the frozen ground.

“You deserve that title. There must be over a hundred fallen stars, right?”

“381.”

“Oh. That’s about 60 constellations?”

“About that many.”

Merlin exhaled.

Her white breath frosted in the air.

“I believe I told you to run away, so why are you still here?”

“I was curious about what kind of person the greatest wizard is.”

“How absurd. You risked your life and came all this way just because of such curiosity?”

Merlin laughed incredulously at Najin’s answer. The hollow laugh soon turned into mockery.

“So, what do you think?”

“About what?”

“About seeing this so-called greatest wizard in person. Not much to it, right? I imagine you’re rather disappointed.”

Merlin sneered.

“Greatest, stars, mystery, Ten Rings… it’s all meaningless in the end. When you can’t achieve the one thing you want, what’s the point of it all?”

“That doesn’t sound like something someone who fought over a hundred constellations and buried sixty of them should say.”

“This is just venting. A meaningless emotional release. Nothing changes by doing this.”

Looking at the devastated, frozen land, Merlin muttered. Her eyes remained empty. Eyes that found no value in anything.

“……”

Najin had seen such eyes before.

“You.”

Many times, in fact.

“You’re trying to die.”

2.

“……”

Merlin remained silent, and Najin gazed into her eyes. They were eyes she had seen many times before. Najin knew well what people with such eyes would choose.

She had seen it countless times in the underground city.

Eyes that found no value in life. Eyes empty of any reason to live, any reason not to die, any lingering attachment.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re right.”

Merlin didn’t deny Najin’s words.

“If you know, then leave. This isn’t something I want others to see.”

“……”

“I said leave.”

Najin didn’t move. She just sat beside Merlin, silently gazing at the frozen ground. Looking at her profile, Merlin eventually let out a laugh.

“You’re a funny one.”

“You look like you have a lot to say. If there’s something you want to talk about, please do.”

“To you, whom I’ve just met?”

“Precisely because we’ve just met, wouldn’t it be easier to speak freely? Without having to be mindful of anything.”

That makes sense too.

Muttering this, Merlin exhaled a long breath.

“The truth is.”

“Yes.”

“People call me a hero, a savior, but I’m not any of those things. I never had any desire to save the world.”

Inner thoughts she had never shared with anyone at the Round Table.

Merlin revealed feelings she couldn’t express even to those closest to her, precisely because they were close. She thought, what does it matter now, since this is the end anyway?

“None of that mattered to me. Truly, none of it.”

“Then what was important to you?”

“Reality.”

Merlin added.

“A reality more beautiful than dreams.”

She murmured.

“This is a secret, you know. But why should secrets matter when I’m about to die? Half of my body flows with fairy blood.”

“…Fairy, you say?”

“Yes. Among fairies, I’m from those who live in the night, or to put it more simply, fairies who live in dreams.”

With dreamy eyes, Merlin gazed at the world.

“In dreams, you can create anything you want. Truly, anything. So why would one need to live in reality when they could stay in a perfect dream? That’s what my kin thought.”

So they chose to live in dreams. They had no reason to leave dreams where anything was possible for reality. Reality was dirty, messy, chaotic, and full of pain, while dreams were incomparably beautiful.

So why live in reality?

Why endure pain unnecessarily?

They couldn’t answer that question. And so, the dreaming fairies became fairies who lived in dreams.

“But.”

But, Merlin said.

“Half of me is fairy, but the other half is human. And that half refused to live in dreams. Humans are a species that lives in reality.”

One of Merlin’s eyes was dreamy.

But her other eye was clear.

“I wanted a reality more beautiful than dreams. I wanted to see things I couldn’t see in dreams, things I couldn’t imagine. And Arthur and the Round Table showed me those things.”

A gentle smile appeared on Merlin’s lips as if recalling the past. But that smile didn’t last long.

“It was enjoyable, but in the end, it all came to an end.”

Merlin’s eyes became empty.

“The Round Table fractured. The knights betrayed each other. Those who were comrades took up swords to kill one another. And Arthur wore a sad expression. Then he left the Round Table behind, alone. As if he had been alone from the beginning.”

Her voice trembled.

“Don’t follow me, Merlin. This is the end of my journey. You knew it too. That this would be the ending I would choose. Use your mystery to put a period on my story. That’s what Arthur said. He said that and left. Then he ended the story on his own terms. On his own, selfishly!”

With trembling hands, Merlin clawed at her own arm.

“Even if I want revenge, I can’t have it. I can’t enter Camlann. Because Arthur, who sealed that place, decided so. Why? Why……”

As if she couldn’t bear it without clawing at something.

“He promised me.”

Merlin murmured weakly.

“He promised to show me an ideal world that I could never dream of. But he broke that promise. Aren’t knights supposed to always keep their promises? Why……”

Why, Merlin bit her lip hard.

“Why did you leave me behind and go alone?”

She opened her hand.

There, twelve stars were shining. Merlin grasped the twelfth star, which shone the brightest among them.

“This is my final destination.”

The Star of Terminus.

“Everything points to the end of the story. So, is there any reason for me to continue living?”

The Star of Terminus.

Her mystery, the period.

“So I should end it.”

“……”

“Arthur asked me to protect the world, but why should I? This world no longer has any value to me. It’s gone. What do I care if it perishes or not?”

Merlin sneered.

“How about that? I’m more terrible, selfish, and wicked than you thought, right? Sorry? For shattering your illusions?”

Seeing Merlin smile so mischievously, Najin shrugged and answered lightly.

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t have such illusions about you to begin with.”

“…What?”

“I’m in a situation where it’s hard to maintain illusions.”

No matter how much history portrayed Merlin as a great hero, when you spend 24 hours with someone, it becomes impossible to maintain any illusions.

“So you’re thinking of suicide?”

“Are you planning to stop me?”

“If I tried to stop you, would you be stopped?”

“I doubt it.”

“Then I’ll at least keep you company.”

Najin stood up.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to talk to on your final journey? I could even be your guide if you’d like.”

“Guide?”

“Because I have this kind of star.”

The Star of Mourning glimmered above Najin’s hand.

Looking at that star, Merlin let out a hollow laugh.

“Are you saying you’ll guide me to the afterlife?”

“If that’s what you need.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m the guide here.”

“Even guides sometimes need guides.”

Najin extended her hand to Merlin, who was sitting down. Merlin looked up at Najin. Though Merlin disliked looking up at others, for some reason, it didn’t feel unpleasant this time.

“True. You’re not wrong.”

Merlin took Najin’s hand and stood up.

3.

The dream broke and reconnected repeatedly.

Whether visiting the layer showing the most intense memories or the layer showing the most painful ones, Najin kept having the same dream.

Blink.

Whenever she closed her eyes and opened them again, she was on the frozen land. Looking to the side, Merlin was there. As they climbed the tower, the dream continued.

“You know.”

While walking somewhere, Merlin spoke.

“I hated my mystery. A period, even the name sounds ominous, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?”

“Yes. Ending a story. Concluding it. It seems to imply death, so I disliked it. I tried not to use it at all if possible.”

Those who choose death walk lightly, unburdened by the weight of life. Merlin was no exception. Her steps were excessively light.

“When my kin were all killed by the witch, I thought: perhaps my mystery is a curse. Maybe I put a period on their story. That’s what I thought.”

Her voice was also light.

Walking lightly, speaking lightly, she revealed her secrets lightly too. Not because she trusted or valued Najin, but because she no longer cared about anything.

“So I really hated it. Despised it.”

She smiled.

“But now I find it lovely.”

“……”

“The moment I realized my mystery, perhaps I anticipated this end.”

Putting a period. Ending the story. Concluding it. Reaching the final destination. Muttering such words, Merlin smiled lightly. Najin silently listened to Merlin’s story.

Thud.

Merlin walked and walked. Dropping all the false, dirty stars she saw, using her mystery generously to make them fall, she walked.

Thud.

Stars fell.

Thud.

Wherever she stepped, shooting stars fell. Stars falling one after another filled the night sky of the Outer Continent. Witches trembled in fear, and constellations with even slightly murky light suppressed their starlight to avoid catching Merlin’s eye.

Just as they feared the Witch of Abyss.

They also feared Merlin.

Thus, silence filled the places where Merlin walked. Only the sound of Merlin’s voice and Najin’s footsteps walking beside her echoed.

“I told you. It’s just venting.”

Merlin smiled.

“There are quite a few I want to kill before I go. I don’t think I can rest in peace until I’ve drowned them all. So I’m going to use up all my stars to drown them.”

She massacred witches, drowned demons, and plucked and stuffed all the scales of dragons.

“What I want to kill most is inside Camlann, but unfortunately, I can’t enter that place. What a shame.”

Though she called it venting.

To Najin, it seemed far from that. The more power Merlin wielded, the more her insides festered. Though she spoke of death, she also seemed to be hoping that someone would stop her.

Merlin was gradually going mad.

“Ah……”

Perhaps she had already gone mad. And so Merlin walked endlessly. Najin couldn’t stop her. After all, she had only volunteered to be a companion.

“Ah.”

Then one day.

“Merlin.”

Someone appeared, blocking Merlin’s path.

A one-armed knight, a knight in tatters. The knight, who looked so exhausted that he seemed about to collapse, appeared too weak to stop even a child.

“……”

But that knight stopped Merlin.

He knelt before her.

“I inform you, the next master of the Round Table, that I have fulfilled the last order given by the king, that I have completed my duty.”

With his one remaining arm, he raised a sword. The moment she saw that sword, Merlin’s eyes widened. And the same was true for Najin.

“The return of the sacred sword.”

The sacred sword, Excalibur.

Only then did Najin realize who the knight before her was. The knight who protected the Round Table until the very end. The oldest knight and the first to follow Arthur.

The one-armed Bedivere.

The knight known for retrieving Excalibur from Camlann and returning it to the lake. He handed Excalibur to Merlin.

“Please, accept the return of the sacred sword.”