Ch.2121. End-of-Term Evaluation (9)

The tumultuous end-of-semester evaluation.

First, there was a commotion about why the final exam was in such a state.

Then another commotion arose as those who had left early, unaware of the internal circumstances, kept asking what had happened.

The conclusion of this uproar ended with mockery, suggesting that passing through the exam site as quickly as possible had been the right choice after all.

The end-of-semester evaluation for all first and second-year students concluded as the last pair to finish the camping exam exited through the doorway.

“Yaaawn… You worked hard… Senior Junon…”

Renias, who had fallen asleep and then rested deeply for the remaining time, yawned, clearly displaying her lingering fatigue.

“You worked hard too, Renias.”

Since she hadn’t done much physical labor before, was this her first time getting blisters?

Actually, blisters weren’t the real issue.

Even though it happened inside the Talbert Arc, the fact that she could face fear head-on and overcome it…

I found myself thinking anew how amazing Renias was.

‘I still don’t even want to remember my own past.’

Is that the kind of courage one needs to be able to fight monsters on the battlefield with just two people?

I can’t help but think I’m still far from that level.

Renias retrieved her staff and school uniform that she had left outside before the exam, then rubbed her drowsy eyes and said:

“Senior… I’m so tired… Can I go rest first…?”

Anyone looking at her would think she’d just returned from hard labor.

I hadn’t noticed during the exam, but now I could see that her initial vitality had been soaked in fatigue.

“…Be careful not to fall on your way back.”

“Hehe. Since you helped me, I’ll treat you to a meal next time. See you later, Senior…”

Well, I probably won’t have many chances to run into you again anyway…

I feel a bit sorry about using her at the banquet, but she’ll find out eventually anyway, right?

Renias moved with the support of servants who arrived shortly after, and as she boarded the carriage, she flashed me a bright smile and waved with all her might.

‘Now all that’s left is…’

Silvia Kutelli, whom I had carried on my back during the evaluation. Just her.

She seemed to exchange a few words with Renias, but she barely spoke to me.

I was about to head to the dormitory, thinking I should consider this later since there might be prying eyes, when I had to stop in my tracks.

“Hm?”

“…”

What is it? Why?

Why are you timidly holding onto my sleeve with just your fingertips, like someone who can’t bring themselves to speak?

Could it be… she wants to continue our earlier conversation?

“We haven’t finished our talk yet.”

Ah.

Why do these premonitions always come true?

***

Meeting at a café or sitting on a bench in a frequently traversed area was out of the question.

With this strange combination—the main perpetrator and victim of the nobles’ position trouble—the only way to have a conversation was to get a private room.

However, sitting across from each other at the table, the two of them have been unable to progress in any conversation for ten minutes now.

“……”

Come on… if you came here, at least say something.

Not saying anything at all—I don’t know what this is about.

“Um…”

Oh. So you’re trying to have a conversation! Good. Let’s hear what you have to say.

“Go ahead. I’m listening.”

“No… um… could you wait a little longer?”

…What is this about?

You’ve been thinking for ten minutes and you need more time?

‘She doesn’t seem to be planning to talk nonsense… sigh.’

Junon quickly realized why she had grabbed his collar. It was obvious that Silvia had more to discuss.

Moreover, he still had questions about Silvia’s behavior, and she would naturally be curious about his comments.

Since they both had things they were curious about, he agreed to the conversation, thinking it would be good to resolve everything cleanly.

Even if it started from some misunderstanding, he judged that it would be better to avoid any future complications.

Thanks to the end-of-semester evaluation, he had been moving and thinking all day, and at that time, he had brushed her off by commenting on her attire because he wanted to rest a bit. Now it was time to have a proper conversation.

‘That’s why I deliberately got a private room, but.’

She keeps lowering her head whenever their eyes meet. Is she really trying to talk or not?

This won’t do. How can we have a conversation like this?

Junon decided it would be better if he spoke first.

“There’s only one reason I found your behavior strange. The injuries on my body have been decreasing over time.”

As Junon took the lead in the conversation, Silvia, who had been fidgeting and unable to speak, listened attentively.

“It was awkward. If you wanted to bully someone, you could have done it with others, but you always faced me one-on-one, as if you didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“…”

Junon’s answer matched exactly. From Silvia’s perspective, she had been questioning whether her actions were right day by day.

Soon, she made up her mind.

‘Yes… I should be honest too.’

She knows she has no right.

She clearly understands that she shouldn’t approach him like this.

Even though she knows she shouldn’t make such a request to someone she’s been bullying, Silvia couldn’t help but grab Junon’s collar at that time.

But now she can speak properly.

“Junon, I wanted to start by saying I’m sorry.”

That she had tried to sacrifice others because she didn’t want to lose what she had.

***

Silvia Kutelli.

The daughter of the powerful Kutelli Count family, which holds real power in the Empire.

This Silvia had something she desperately wanted to tell me—she wanted to convey her apology.

She explained that there had been an implicit plan to raise the prestige of nobles and certain position tiers by causing position trouble, and Silvia, caught between her noble status and her position as an illegitimate child, had participated.

When I asked why she hadn’t refused if she knew it was wrong, Silvia answered that she didn’t want to lose what she currently had.

When I first heard this, it was somewhat perplexing, but considering that Silvia was the count’s illegitimate child, everything made sense.

Living in the luxurious count’s household but being ostracized due to her mother’s background and her birth—a perfect illegitimate child to be used and discarded.

Considering the treatment received by excommunicated nobles, she must have been quite desperate.

She had to rely on her noble status, her only lifeline, and as an illegitimate child, she must have struggled to prove her worth.

That’s why she couldn’t refuse even though she knew it was wrong, and she tried to establish herself by making an impression on other nobles.

She didn’t want to be cast out, so she must have been constantly watching the count’s reactions.

I suspect she might have even been told to behave properly.

‘…I can understand that.’

Because I was once like that too.

Everyone at Tembris pointed fingers at me, calling me a nuisance, and although the people involved said it was fine, my inner feelings were completely different.

Even though no one said anything, I felt like I was being chased away, so I mastered new magic.

I would find solutions even when people asked why I was pushing myself so hard.

I too wanted to be helpful to the Tembris party by mobilizing whatever power I had.

I didn’t want to show an anxious appearance and cause psychological burden, but I couldn’t just be dragged along like baggage either.

What I feared most was the thought that I might be abandoned someday.

The only people I could lean on were those around me now, and I worried that if I lost them too, everything would be over.

Silvia must have been in a similar situation.

The label of illegitimate child that tormented her in the count’s household.

The usefulness she had to prove to the count to avoid being abandoned.

The demands of nobles and professors that she had to meet, even knowing it was wrong, in order to remove the label of illegitimate child.

It was clear that she wanted to prevent being left alone, even if it meant walking a precarious line.

And now, having lost everything she had, she stands before me as a female student with no place to lean on and no one to take her side.

Like me in the past.

“…I’m not saying this hoping for forgiveness. But… even though I’ve made ugly excuses, I sincerely wanted to bow my head to you.”

Silvia’s complexion wasn’t good, thanks to the hardship of searching for me during the end-of-semester evaluation.

Yet with that unwell face, she was bowing her head and asking for my forgiveness.

A clean confession of apology without a single blemish.

Seeing that directly before me, how could my heart not be moved?

Even if our situations weren’t exactly the same, I could understand her position.

“What kind of messed-up family is that.”

“…”

“You’ve had a hard time too.”

As soon as Silvia heard these words, she burst into tears like a waterfall and began to cry out loud.

I don’t know if it was an explosion of the hardships she had endured, or if she had been lonely because not a single person had ever taken her side.

However, it’s certain that this influenced the abnormal signs that Silvia had shown before my regression.

Becoming a heavy burden. Leaving scars more painful than any wound. And finally collapsing.

I’m glad it didn’t turn out that way this time.

“Hic…! I, really, all this time, waaah…!!”

I listened as she poured out her confession through tears and snot.

Emotions that had seemed so distant must have overlapped and mixed together due to Silvia’s precarious balancing act, finally flowing out as tears.

The loneliness of having no one who understood her situation.

The bitter guilt of knowing she was doing something wrong.

She must have always been accompanied by anxiety rather than colleagues or friends, believing that no one around her would help her.

Having experienced that loneliness, guilt, and anxiety firsthand, I can assert:

Silvia is not someone who deserves to remain as a negative figure in the lower class.

If she hadn’t had her noble status, she probably wouldn’t have committed such wrongdoings while knowing they were wrong.

It’s all a matter of environment and education.

The extreme stress and positional pressure she received from the count’s household gradually caused Silvia to lose her emotions.

Always the same face, consistent answers, mechanical actions—there was no room for anything new.

If she hadn’t been given the environment of being the count’s illegitimate child, she might have just been a bit shy.

That shy Silvia would have blossomed with laughter as some friends approached her, opening her eyes to sociability.

Growing up normally, enjoying a fulfilling academy life, laughing and chatting—wouldn’t her side have been piled with numerous invitations?

Wouldn’t people around her have fallen for her charm—shy and timid-looking, but pretty when she smiles, like a gentle lamb?

Even for such a Silvia walking a path of flowers, mistakes would certainly exist.

Realizing her own fault, she would bow her head just like now.

And then, opening her eyes to other emotions, she would sniffle.

People around her would approach and kindly explain, seeing her characteristic personality and not knowing what to do.

Her friends would generously overlook her first mistake, and wouldn’t Silvia have shown this kind of appearance to such friends?

Pouring out tears, carrying a bitter heart full of guilt for the first time.

“I’m so sorry… I’m, really, really sorry…”

Just like now, saying sorry and calming down among comforting friends—such a scene would suit Silvia.

Thinking this, I waited until Silvia’s crying subsided.

Today was the day a girl who had regained her dried-up emotions poured out tears abundantly, reclaiming her self that had been bound by the count’s household.