Ch.207Episode 11 – All Quiet on the Northern Front

“Are you the famous money changer?”

Francesca asked.

“I might be, or I might not be.”

The goblin replied.

“You wouldn’t be here for a casual visit at this late hour…”

The goblin revealed his snow-white teeth. The flickering candlelight cast a red glow on his sharp fangs.

“Are you here to sell, or to buy?”

“I might come to sell and end up buying. That’s human nature, isn’t it?”

“…Can’t argue with that.”

Whoosh!

In an instant, magical energy surged through the building. Like a gust of wind, it swept through, washing away the dirt from people’s bodies and clothes like a sudden shower.

Seeing this, the goblin adjusted his glasses and showed an expression of interest.

Looking as fresh as if they’d just stepped out of a shower, Camilla and Ferretti spoke up.

“I think I’ll be buying. Thank you.”

“Hmm. Your skills are quite impressive.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

Francesca’s eyes curved into a gentle arc.

“Well, well. I thought you were just an adventurer, but you’re a mage.”

“I wasn’t particularly hiding it… Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.”

The goblin looked over Francesca, Camilla, Ferretti, and me, then welcomed us with the utmost courtesy.

“Please come inside, guests.”

Episode 11 – All Quiet on the Northern Front

Goblins are quite a peculiar race.

Most races, including humans, elves, and beastfolk, are biologically classified as single species. However, in reality, most races, even if they are a single species, are further categorized based on physical characteristics, culture, customs, and religion.

Simply put, it’s similar to the concept of ethnicity.

Just as humans belonging to the same species have slight differences depending on whether they live in Asia, Europe, America, Africa, or the Middle East. Not all individuals of the same beastfolk or elven race maintain identical physical conditions, cultures, and customs. Just as dog beastfolk and cat beastfolk are grouped under the “beastfolk” race but aren’t completely identical beings.

But goblins and other “greenskins” are different. “Greenskins” have the same appearance and habits regardless of which continent they’re on.

The most famous characteristic of goblins is their greed.

“You all seem familiar with goblins.”

“I’ve seen them at the bank a few times.”

“Oh, fellow kin working at banks. There aren’t many of those even in the Empire. They must be quite successful.”

Their greed rivals that of dwarves, and their obsession with wealth is comparable to dragons.

Explaining how greedy goblins are would be a waste of breath, considering they’re on par with dwarves who go crazy at the sight of gold and dragons who hoard treasures in their lairs.

Entrusting money to such goblins would be extremely difficult.

However,

“A trustworthy goblin is more reliable than any bank.”

In fact, because of this, there’s no race more stable and trustworthy than goblins when it comes to safeguarding money.

Stability and trust are relative concepts. In that sense, goblins engaged in commerce were among the more trustworthy types of goblins.

The goblin walking ahead with a candlestick smiled contentedly at this.

“I hope the day comes when I receive such praise from a customer.”

“As do I.”

Francesca exchanged brief words with the goblin as she walked. The sound of multiple footsteps broke through the silence, crossing the dim corridor.

The corridor was eerily gloomy, with windows blocked to prevent even a speck of starlight from entering. The goblin holding the candlestick began speaking in a calm voice as he walked.

“By the way, I haven’t seen you folks before. Is this your first visit to a money changer?”

Francesca, who was closest, nodded.

“Since you know the name ‘money changer,’ you seem to know what this place is. You know it’s a place for currency exchange, right?”

“It’s not just an ordinary money changer, is it? There aren’t any money changers that sell goods.”

The goblin grinned at Francesca’s response.

“We don’t just sell things. We also find them.”

“Find things?”

“Whether it’s a person you’ve parted with or an item you’ve lost, what does it matter? We find anything for you. Any item at all.”

“……”

“However…”

The goblin who was leading the way suddenly stopped.

He turned his head to look us over, then smiled with interest.

“If you were to make a request, you’d be looking for people rather than items.”

His red tongue licked his green lips.

At that somewhat rude and slightly threatening smile, the group reacted.

Magical energy gathered at Francesca’s fingers as she discreetly moved her hands behind her back, and Ferretti’s hand gripped his sword-staff under his robe, revealing its outline.

The corridor was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

I gripped the pistol tucked at my waist, ready to draw it at any moment.

“…Oh my.”

Then, the goblin’s voice broke the silence.

The goblin took a step back, placed his hand on his chest, and bowed. It was an apologetic gesture. He offered words of apology in the most courteous tone.

“I had no intention of intimidating you. If I came across as rude, I ask for your generous forgiveness.”

“……”

Everyone’s gaze swept over the goblin’s face.

Francesca’s cold gaze lingered on the smiling goblin’s face before turning to me. Though she didn’t speak, I had a good idea of what she was thinking, so I gave her a small nod to indicate that the corridor behind us was safe.

At that, Francesca smiled as if nothing had happened. The magical energy that had gathered at her fingertips dissipated like a mirage.

“Well, I understand. I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm.”

“Thank you, customer. Shall we proceed?”

The goblin pointed with a courteous gesture to a door at the end of the corridor. It was an old, massive door.

As we approached the door, our guide quickened his pace, rushing ahead to stand alone in front of it.

“Hmm…”

His skinny fingers quickly traced the patterns on the door. Up, down, diagonally. His sharp nails moved ceaselessly across the door until we reached it.

Then,

“…Done.”

-Boom.

The door began to open.

Bright light poured into the dark corridor. The sudden brightness made me involuntarily furrow my brow.

But the goblin, paying no mind to this, extended his finger to point inside with a courteous bow.

“Money changer, general store, information broker. A place that can be anything and nothing. I sincerely welcome you all to this establishment.”

The goblin’s snow-white fangs gleamed in the darkness against the backlight.

“I hope you don’t end up at a loss.”

*

The shop inside the collapsed hotel was surprisingly clean, unlike its dilapidated exterior.

It looked as if someone had cut out a section of a high-end bank and stuffed it into these ruins.

A mismatched shop that seemed patched together from various pieces.

I entered this peculiar shop in the northern black market under martial law with a strange feeling, thinking it looked familiar somehow.

“Wow…”

Employees sat at long marble desks. Despite the late hour, they worked without showing any signs of fatigue, as if they had just started their shifts.

Magic quills danced through the air, inscribing text onto high-quality paper below.

Seeing this, Francesca showed an expression of interest.

“It reminds me of the Magic Tower. Self-moving quills are high-difficulty magical tools that are hard to find outside places like the Secretariat.”

“Are you bragging? Your company loyalty is impressive.”

“Hmm… Well, I am an employee… so I suppose I have some loyalty?”

Good heavens. Talking about company loyalty after selling secrets to a spy. Francesca’s face was incredibly brazen, especially considering she had handed over confidential documents from the Secretariat to me just the other day.

Shaking my head, I turned my gaze and noticed Camilla looking at something.

Tropical fish were swimming in glass tanks that filled an entire wall.

“Cute…”

When Camilla placed her finger against the glass, small tropical fish gathered around. Her eyes sparkled as the fish pressed their mouths against the glass as if trying to kiss her finger.

However,

“Oh…”

A tentacle that emerged from the bottom of the tank attacked the tropical fish that were playing in front of Camilla. The purple tentacle, looking like a mix between octopus legs and a sea cucumber, quickly snatched several fish and dragged them to the bottom.

Camilla’s eyes lost their sparkle as she witnessed this.

The tropical fish that had gathered to kiss Camilla’s hand had long since scattered, and something that used to be a tropical fish’s tail floated up from the bottom, only to be caught by the purple tentacle and dragged down again.

I patted Camilla’s slumped shoulders with sympathetic eyes.

“It’s okay, Camilla.”

“Hiiing…”

“Compared to the British who released bass into Lake Victoria and wiped out tropical fish species, keeping a predatory mollusk in an aquarium is… Oh shit, fire, fire, fire! Put it out now!”

I panicked at the sight of flames rising from her clenched fist. Camilla gave me a look that clearly said if I said one more word like that, she’d shove a flaming fist down my throat.

The shop employees briefly glanced at us bickering before looking away.

Regardless, Francesca quietly called over Camilla, who was threatening me with her flaming fist, and me.

After adjusting her appearance with magic, she looked around the shop interior with the elegant posture of a noble out for a stroll. Just then, the goblin who had guided us here approached Francesca.

“You came for currency exchange, correct?”

“Yes.”

“This way.”

The goblin who had guided us began leading the way with a courteous gesture. After walking a short distance, he stopped at a desk and placed the candlestick on it.

The goblin at the desk made eye contact with our guide. Since the employee was also a goblin, the two conversed without any awkwardness. In fact, all the shop employees were goblins.

“These are customers.”

“Are they here for currency exchange, Deputy Chief?”

“Yes. Help them with an appraisal first.”

“Understood.”

The goblin referred to as Deputy Chief turned to us with a smile.

“This employee handles appraisals. He’s new, but his skills are solid.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. I need to step away briefly, but if you have any questions, our employee will answer them kindly.”

The goblin known as the Deputy Chief bowed courteously before disappearing somewhere. Watching him leave, Francesca was approached by the goblin introduced as an employee, who put on a monocle and extended his hand.

“Please show me the item you want appraised.”

With a rustle, gems poured into the goblin’s hand. After releasing the colorful gems from her fingertips, Francesca rubbed her thumb and index finger together and pulled her hand back.

A strange light flashed in the goblin’s eyes beyond the monocle. Francesca’s gesture was unmistakably that of a mage.

Of course, it wasn’t just because of magic.

“Oho…”

Desire mixed into the goblin’s gaze as he looked at the gems in his palm.

The goblin picked up a green gem with his thumb and index finger, held it up to the bright light, and tapped his monocle.

As he tapped the rim with his nail, the monocle suddenly began to move. Strange colors swept across the lens, and the goblin’s eye visible through the glass alternately enlarged and shrank.

Watching the goblin’s actions from the side, Camilla whispered in my ear.

“…What is he doing?”

“He’s using magic. More precisely, he’s infusing a magical tool with magical energy.”

It wasn’t me who answered. Instead, Ferretti, the commander of the St. Andrea Knights, stroked his beard and looked at the glasses with a curious expression.

“He’s examining the gems with magic that aids in appraisal. The glasses themselves have magical formulas engraved on them, so even a child could easily appraise items just by infusing them with magical energy.”

“Ah… So they use things like that when appraising gems?”

“It’s not limited to gems. Whether it’s antique pottery, artwork, or even cursed items, they can be appraised. Of course, even the best magical tools can’t match a cleric’s accuracy when it comes to identifying cursed items.”

I was left speechless by his habitual disparagement of mages and elevation of clerics.

The current alchemist smiled as if finding it ridiculous. But neither Francesca nor Ferretti were the type to engage in pointless arguments to prove themselves right, so this didn’t escalate into a commotion.

Meanwhile, the goblin continued to stare at the gems with a bizarre gaze.

Someone might think he was displaying remarkable concentration, but seeing the greed glistening behind the lens and the snake-like tongue constantly licking his lips would quickly dispel that notion.

“Hmm.”

The goblin who had been appraising placed the gems on a silver tray.

The magic quill danced, and the paper filled with numbers and formulas.

*

The goblin, who couldn’t take his eyes off the gems, removed his monocle, placed it in his upper pocket, and handed Francesca a note with numbers written on it.

“Based on the appraisal, you could receive about this amount.”

Francesca nodded with a smile after examining the amount on the paper.

“Not bad.”

“However, when applying market value, the amount changes slightly.”

The goblin handed her another piece of paper.

On that paper was a pitifully small amount compared to the initial appraisal.

Francesca’s eyes curved into an arc after confirming the amount. It was clearly the same smiling face as before, but now that smile felt different.

“Are you sure about this amount?”

“Of course. I pride myself on providing an accurate figure without the slightest error. The price of gems used for alchemy decreases over time as the purity of the magic within them diminishes. Still, they’re in fairly good condition, so I’ve given you a reasonable price. Separate from the commission fee, of course.”

“……”

“If you need to negotiate, that’s not out of the question…”

“…Negotiate?”

The goblin twisted the corner of his mouth and smiled.

“Ah. ‘Negotiation’ isn’t a word that suits mages, is it? I spoke out of turn. I apologize.”

“……”

Mages are generally a proud bunch. It’s not that proud people gather to form magical societies; rather, living in magical societies makes one proud.

How could one not be proud when flying on a broomstick while others walk? Consequently, actions that might lower one’s pride tend to be taboo in magical societies.

One such taboo is negotiation. Mages believe that those who constantly seek truth and knowledge should be able to properly judge the value of things, or they aren’t qualified to be mages.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that all mages refrain from negotiating when buying things, but there’s a world of difference between tactfully expressing it and blatantly bringing it up to someone’s face. Bringing up a group’s taboo is a matter of emotion and face before reason and practicality.

And mages are a race that values pride and face above all else.

“…Sigh.”

As expected. What did I expect from a black market? This goblin was a shameless merchant on par with those from Dongdaemun clothing market or Yongsan electronics market, trying to lower prices and humiliate people.

The thought that we’d struck out here too made me suddenly irritated. What the hell is this?

“Hmm-“

A strange nasal sound escaped from Francesca’s mouth.

Judging by the violet eyes visible through her narrowed gaze, Francesca looked like she might use elemental magic to tear the goblin in front of her to shreds at any moment.

However, neither did magical energy gather at Francesca’s fingertips, nor did bloodshed occur. Instead, her voice resonated throughout the shop, filled with the noise of goblins doing their jobs.

“Well, fine. Let’s consider this deal off.”

Francesca gathered her gems and turned to leave the shop without erasing her smile.

But the voice of the goblin employee from behind held her back.

“Where are you going without paying?”

The goblin’s hand that had clutched the gems extended toward Francesca.

“Pay for what?”

“You need to pay the appraisal fee.”

The goblin extended one finger.

“One gem. The smallest one will do. Or if you have Tachrons, you can pay with those.”

“That’s quite an expensive appraisal fee.”

“Everything has its price, doesn’t it?”

The goblin smiled, revealing his distinctive fangs. Unlike the goblin referred to as the Deputy Chief earlier, his yellowed, dirty teeth gleamed in the light.

His green fingers, which looked like they might snap if grabbed, pointed at us.

“If you can’t pay in cash or gems, we also accept payment in kind. At the correct price, of course.”

“For example?”

“Well…”

The goblin’s finger pointed at Ferretti.

“Like the sword that adventurer is carrying. Or the brooch the mage is wearing.”

“……”

“Of course, there is an appraisal fee for evaluating items, but since this is your first time using our guild, I’ll waive it specially.”

The goblin’s lips twisted. It looked as if he was mocking someone.

Despite the situation becoming somewhat chaotic, the other goblin employees continued their work without even glancing our way.

“What will you do?”

I tapped Francesca’s shoulder as she spoke with the goblin.

“Just give him one gem. I’ll pay you back later.”

“Should I…? I wonder what you’ll give me in return…”

“Let’s not be like this between fellow civil servants. Be reasonable.”

“Hmm…”

Just then, the goblin who had been scratching the desk with his nails spoke up.

“If physical items are also burdensome, there’s another way.”

“Another way? What do you mean?”

“You can pay with your body.”

Sharp fangs appeared between his twisted lips.

“You can help with our guild’s work. You can keep the remaining amount from the daily wage we provide, after deducting the introduction fee and appraisal request fee. It could be a good source of income.”

“Hmm… What kind of work might that be…?”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s similar to what adventurers do. Of course, unlike adventurers, we don’t take on legal requests.”

“……”

Ferretti, who was a holy knight, repeatedly gripped and released his sword hilt. Illegal activities in a place under martial law, with demons nearby. As a holy knight, he couldn’t turn a blind eye to such things.

I grabbed Ferretti’s shoulder as he glared at the goblin with a menacing look.

“If you cause a commotion here, it’ll be troublesome for me. For me. And for the person I serve as well.”

“…Hmm. I’ll restrain myself.”

I removed my hand from his shoulder.

The appraisal fee the goblin was demanding was quite expensive, but it wasn’t as if we couldn’t afford to pay it.

Francesca didn’t even need to give up a gem; I could easily cover the cost with the operational funds (no-questions-asked funds) provided to me by the Military Intelligence Service.

Being caught here as a diplomat would be a major problem. We could leave now without being discovered, but if there was any knife-wielding incident that reached the ears of the military police, the Imperial Foreign Minister might call the Abas Embassy.

So, we needed to slip away as quietly as possible…

“Hmm, who would be good? The mage? Or the knight? The person in the tracksuit at the back would be fine too, but the lady next to him isn’t bad either.”

“Huh? Me?”

Camilla, suddenly called out, pointed at herself and asked. The goblin who was showing his fangs nodded.

“You seem to be a mage, judging by your similar attire to the mage here. How about it, would you like to work for our guild… Ugh!”

The grinning goblin suddenly fell backward while still seated.

The fallen goblin planted his head on the floor and rolled like an armadillo.

Thud. Crack.

A broken nose. The goblin screamed in pain, clutching his nose as if it had been stabbed with a knife. Drops of blood fell onto the marble floor.

“F-fuck!”

At the sudden scream, the goblins rose from their seats.

Ferretti, who had been watching the situation beside me, spoke with an annoyed voice.

“You told me to stay still, but then you throw a punch? What are you doing?”

“…Ah.”

I stood up, looked at the goblins surrounding us, then at my fist stained with goblin blood, and muttered.

“We’re fucked.”

Old habits die hard.

*

It happened in an instant.

The goblin who was punched in the face screamed while clutching his broken nose, and as their colleague was attacked, the goblins who had been quietly working surrounded us.

Looking at the gathering goblin crowd, Francesca smiled faintly.

“We’re screwed. How are you going to handle this, Officer?”

“Urgh…”

Francesca was still smiling. She was smiling, but her voice had sunk coldly, and her gaze was chilling. Her smile wasn’t really a smile.

Ferretti, gripping his sword hilt, clicked his tongue with a look of disdain.

“Tsk tsk. Why on earth did you start this?”

“Well… an old habit momentarily…”

“You had a habit of punching people in the face? What terrible manners. When we return, visit the church for penance.”

“Save the spiritual talk for later and both of you prepare to fight.”

“Understood, Administrator.”

Ferretti drew his sword and stood alongside Francesca. Magical energy was already gathering at Francesca’s slender fingers.

Francesca laughed incredulously.

“If I had known this would happen, I would have brought a runic sword.”

“You know how to handle a sword?”

“A little.”

“Impressive. As expected of a noble.”

Behind the two preparing to fight, Camilla appeared with a confused expression.

She clung to me as before and began whispering quietly.

“Hey. I think we’re doomed, right?”

“Seems so.”

“Why did you have to cause trouble? You’re a grown adult.”

“…An old habit came out wrongly.”

“Why on earth did you have a habit of hitting people…?”

Well, because sometimes during interrogations, you need to punch someone in the face when the situation is urgent. We don’t usually resort to torture, but there are moments when violence becomes necessary if information is urgently needed or things go wrong.

Just like now.

-Shing.

“Hey! Everyone out!”

“Knife! Knife! Knife! Grab your knives!”

“Let’s skin them.”

“It’s a mage! Be careful!”

The goblins armed themselves with knives, axes, and clubs from who knows where. Watching goblins in fancy suits grabbing tools made it feel like watching a cheap B-grade gangster movie.

Looking at the goblins who seemed ready to tear us apart at any moment, I turned my head to look at the window. Though it was completely blocked and the sky wasn’t visible, it was a cold winter night with howling winds outside.

“Perfect weather for dying.”

“Stop talking nonsense and do something!”

Camilla, with flames rising from her hands, shrieked. I responded that I understood as she kicked my shin, and I drew the pistol tucked at my waist.

The goblins were startled by the sudden appearance of the gun.

“A gun…?”

“What the hell…! Is he a cop or what?!”

“Go get the Deputy Chief!”

Some goblins ran in the direction where the goblin called the Deputy Chief had disappeared. The goblins facing us gripped their tools tightly, sweating profusely.

Seeing this, Francesca laughed softly.

“I’m glad I brought you along…”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m a dog you took for a walk. I’m providing free service without getting paid.”

“If anything, shouldn’t you be paying me? You lost the bet and caused quite a mess…”

“Urgh…”

I’m being extorted by an informant. Sigh, damn it. When I was swindled out of $3,000 by a local informant in Africa, I was teased for years. If my seniors at the intelligence agency saw this mess, they’d tease me until I retired.

“I might as well die…”

“Let’s not die just yet. We need to get out of here alive first.”

“If there’s gunfire, the military police will come.”

“Let’s try to shake them off. Or bribe them if necessary.”

“Bribe? I’ve had coffee with the commander, attended meetings, even eaten meals together. Why should I pay those underlings…”

Once again, Camilla let out a shriek. She urged us with an urgent voice.

“Stop talking nonsense and focus!”

Flames flickered on Camilla’s fist. Ferretti’s blade gleamed coldly in the light, and Francesca gathered magical energy at her fingertips while pulling out a vial from her bosom.

I adjusted my grip on the pistol, aiming at the goblins with good builds and threatening weapons.

“…Who do you think will start first?”

“Just don’t get hurt.”

Gun, sword, axe, club, magic.

Just as people with different weapons were eyeing each other, ready to end lives at any moment…

“What’s going on here?”

From far away, where the goblins had disappeared, a peculiar voice was heard.