Ch.205Epilogue. What I Wish For (5)

We played until evening.

It seems like there are still a few hours left before the park closes. But honestly speaking, after walking around so much, I’m a bit tired.

And among the three of us, Kagami was the most exhausted.

Nirlas has withdrawn from this world, but he’s not dead. And some traces of what he left behind still remain.

Koko and I are those traces.

Beings that are not completely human, mixed half and half with an incomprehensible existence from beyond.

The “flesh lumps” have almost all disappeared, and now only Koko and I remain. I suppose it would be a bit troublesome if more were to come back to life after this.

Well, technically, coming back in smaller forms might be possible. Just like how Koko was able to survive as a giant nose-shaped thing, or when only her head remained.

Perhaps we could maintain our outer appearance by hollowing out the inside a bit. The exterior would feel like a balloon, though.

…I should be careful.

To be honest, I like my appearance. I like being in this position as “Kotone Kurosawa.”

If possible, I’d like to stay as Kotone Kurosawa for a long, long time. I want to know my friends for as long as possible, play hard, study, travel, and live life to the fullest.

I think it’s best to avoid accidents. I don’t particularly want my body to change shape because part of it burned.

“…”

I looked at Kagami, who was sitting with a satisfied expression.

As time passes, Kagami will age too.

Not just Kagami, but my other friends as well.

Everyone I know will age. Wrinkles will appear one by one on their faces, and white hairs will gradually emerge.

Someday, in the distant future, when our heads have turned white, will we still be able to gather together and leisurely chat? I hoped so.

And at such gatherings, I’d like to be there, aged alongside them.

Well, by then, I might have cut this long hair. Actually, I might not need to cut it at all. Strictly speaking, this isn’t really “hair.”

If I distribute it a bit throughout my body, since I’m already quite thin, it probably wouldn’t be noticeable.

But because of that…

…Will I be able to age too?

What if everyone else’s time flows normally, but Koko’s and mine remains fixed and stopped?

Some might envy that.

But not me.

I’ve already lost precious people before.

Dying is scary. If possible, I’d like to live for a long, long time without dying.

But it’s meaningless if I’m alone. I want to live leisurely, knowing and being with those I cherish and love for a long time.

That’s why I was afraid.

What if, in the distant future, only the two of us remain?

Some might say we could form new bonds, but… bonds aren’t replaceable. The special people deeply etched in our minds remain those people, even as time passes.

Time might dull the pain. Memories might become hazy.

But that’s why memories are always beautiful.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Perhaps because I had been staring for too long.

Kagami was looking down at me.

“…Live a long life.”

I found myself saying that without even realizing it.

Kagami blinked.

“…Are you worried that I might die before you?”

“…”

I am worried.

Isn’t that natural?

Even now, I’m scared. In some ways, I might be more scared than Kagami is about me disappearing.

I thought Kagami would take this comment playfully.

I expected her to hug me right away and assure me that wouldn’t happen.

But Kagami just looked at me with a slightly surprised expression.

“I see.”

And as if she noticed something, she turned her gaze forward with slightly bitter eyes.

There were people there.

People busily moving around the theme park.

Among them were couples, but there were also many families. A couple holding hands with a small child between them, or couples carrying children or pushing strollers.

There were also couples chasing after their energetic children who ran ahead.

“I haven’t been able to watch over Kotone for too long.”

Kagami said that and raised her hand to stroke Koko’s head.

“Woo?”

Koko responded to Kagami’s melancholic voice. She was tilting her head.

“Even if I try to do everything for you now, the time that has passed won’t come back.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

I tried to say, but whether Kagami heard me or not, she continued to blame herself.

“Even if we stay together from now on, your entire childhood…”

“I was asleep the whole time.”

I cut her off, feeling a bit frustrated.

“Even if you had taken care of me continuously, I wouldn’t have responded. I’ve never lived as a ‘child.'”

“…”

As for Koko…

Let’s be honest. It’s a bit of a stretch to recognize Koko’s form as a “child.”

Even if she had a proper human appearance, like having eyes, nose, and mouth in the right places, or at least some limbs where they should be, Kagami might have been able to form an attachment to her as a “baby.”

But Koko was, literally, a lump of flesh.

And she was a being that was many in one, so how painful must it have been to give birth each time?

Of course, this isn’t something that can be resolved just by my forgiveness. Someday, when Koko can understand the situation more seriously, perhaps then we can talk about it.

I’m not saying Kagami did everything right. There are clear wrongs. Considering my relationship with Koko, and beyond that.

I hope she’ll correct things one by one over the long time ahead. Whether that’s possible or not, I don’t know, but now that we’re “family,” I intend to help wholeheartedly.

Above all, I’m not a perfect human either. We both have many things to improve.

“And that’s not what I meant.”

I stated firmly again.

“I meant it literally. I just hope you live a long life.”

“…Is that so?”

Kagami responded in a slightly softer voice.

I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should say this or not, but decided to go ahead.

“Koko and I… in a way, we can’t be called completely human.”

“Kotone and Koko are—”

“I mean, biologically.”

I said that and touched my hair.

It feels just like hair. The sensation is no different from the hair I’ve always known.

I see the world with my eyes, hear sounds with my ears, and feel with my sense of touch. This is all the same as usual. The only time I dismantled my body was when I was fighting Nirlas.

The skin, eyebrows, hands—they all feel exactly like a normal person’s. So, just by looking at our appearance, one wouldn’t know that the blood of something non-human flows within us.

But we’re still completely different.

I can still move my hair. I don’t intend to try, but I could probably transform my body too. Not just changing shape, but becoming like a slime, able to absorb most impacts.

So, biologically, I’m not human.

“That’s why I hope you live a long time. So we can know each other for a long time.”

I said that and then turned my gaze away, feeling a bit embarrassed.

It’s something I couldn’t bring myself to say to the other kids.

Why was I able to say it to Kagami?

Because she’s my “mother”?

Hmm, it might also be because of the age difference.

Although Kagami didn’t grow up like normal children and has some awkward aspects, she’s still an adult. Sometimes she can be very adult-like. Education and experience are separate matters.

Above all, it’s a bit regretful to say, but she’s someone who has experienced everything there is to experience.

That’s why I might have said something that I couldn’t say to someone closer to a child.

Also, because she’s the only adult I can trust.

“Ah, I see.”

But as soon as Kagami heard my words, she seemed relieved and said that.

I frowned and looked up at Kagami.

“Ah, I see?”

I asked in a slightly displeased voice. I’m seriously worried here, and her voice sounds too light?

To be honest, for a brief moment, I thought Kagami was relieved because she knew I would live longer for sure.

But Kagami’s next words were a bit different from what I expected.

“I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

Kagami said, hugging both of us tightly.

“Are you worried because half of your blood isn’t human?”

“…Yes.”

“If that’s the case, you don’t need to worry. Half of your blood is human blood.”

“…”

As I silently looked up at Kagami, she continued with a smile.

“If you think that because gods live forever, half of that is still forever, that’s a mistaken thought.”

“Then?”

“As long as human blood flows within you, you can’t transcend human limitations. That’s how divine power works. …I don’t understand why my sister, Kosuzu, even made such a plan. If it were possible for humans to extend their lives indefinitely by transforming their bodies, Kosuzu would have chosen that path instead. Plans that are too broad tend to have holes.”

I listened silently.

“She could have lived forever and gradually infiltrated society. In fact, people who followed my sister were fascinated by that power. And it was that power that gave credibility to my sister’s absurd plans.”

“So what does that mean?”

“The human body has limitations. No matter how much divine power one receives, it will eventually crumble. Those who were too greedy all collapsed before living out their full lives.”

That… was a story that appeared in Lovecraft’s original works too.

Especially in “The Dunwich Horror,” one of the brothers couldn’t fully receive that blood and eventually his body collapsed and he died. Perhaps similar stories have been passed down in this world too.

“Of course, my sister somehow managed to use me to create Kotone, but, well…”

Kagami closed her eyes and thought.

“Since the entity that caused all this has withdrawn from this world, perhaps we can be a bit at ease. Besides the abilities you currently possess, you’re just human.”

It was still hard for me to accept.

Kagami isn’t me, so she doesn’t know everything I know. So I can’t assume she fully understands my concerns.

But even so, her words gave me hope.

It’s not completely wrong. If it’s a documented story, it wouldn’t be treated as mere fiction in this world.

“When Kotone was in the coffin.”

Kagami whispered in my ear, lowering her voice.

It wasn’t because she was afraid others might hear, but because she was hugging me tightly, so I could hear her even if she spoke softly.

A gentle voice, as if comforting me.

“Kotone’s body didn’t crumble. I’m certain. The inside of your body was probably just like a human’s. If you had truly passed away and been cremated, bone fragments would have remained.”

“Would they have?”

“It’s an incomprehensible power. But because it’s incomprehensible, one might think everything is too perfect.”

Is that so?

I was still a bit confused.

But at least, I was comforted.

“So, don’t worry too much. Even if that’s not the case, it’s too early to worry.”

I see.

It’s too early to worry.

“There’s still so much time left.”

So much time left.

We’ve let a lot of time flow by, but yes, there’s still plenty of time between us. At least several decades. And for humans, several decades is a lifetime.

“I guess so…”

“Well, I like this Kotone too.”

Kagami said with a smile.

“It’s admirable, like the kind of worry one would have during puberty. It makes you feel like my daughter.”

I briefly considered whether I should poke Kagami in the side or not.

*

After resting a bit, we met Yuu’s family again at the theme park entrance.

Ms. Mori and Mr. Yamashita still weren’t sticking together.

But somehow, that image seemed to fit strangely well.

You know, like a “yakuza wife in a kimono”? Standing one step behind, hands folded, standing quietly with that kind of atmosphere.

Certainly, Ms. Mori didn’t give the impression of someone who would walk arm in arm with a boyfriend like other women her age.

Mr. Yamashita’s face also seemed less uncomfortable than before.

Even though he was still wearing cat ears on his head.

…Is he actually enjoying it?

Is he actually a doting father?

“Today was really enjoyable.”

Kagami bowed politely and said.

“Thanks to you, we were able to spend a cozy time as a family.”

Kagami probably would have found another way to spend time together cozily even without this, but we were able to come here thanks to the yakuza uncles.

“Not at all. Considering the help we usually receive, this is minimal.”

Mr. Yamashita politely accepted the greeting.

“Rather, thanks to you, I had some time to think today.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, thank you very much.”

Ms. Mori, smiling brightly beside him, gave a slight bow.

Then, after looking at me, Koko, and Kagami one by one,

“We would be grateful if you could attend the wedding.”

“Oh my.”

Kagami smiled.

“Is it already decided?”

“…Miho.”

When Mr. Yamashita called Ms. Mori, she slightly stuck out her tongue.

“If you invite us, we’ll definitely come.”

“…”

While the conversation was going on, Yuu was staring at me.

What is it?

Ah, maybe he’s waiting for the right timing to say goodbye?

Thinking that, I was about to open my mouth to greet Ms. Mori first.

Yuu gave a small, almost imperceptible smile.

“…Can you sing at the wedding?”

And said that.

“…Huh?”

“You sing well. Both you and Koko.”

“Oh my.”

Not missing that comment, Ms. Mori smiled with her hand on her cheek.

“That would be wonderful.”

“Yes, our daughters are excellent singers.”

“I like singing!”

“…”

With Kagami and Koko speaking in turn, it seems I’ve become the wedding singer without any chance to refuse.

“You don’t need to feel too pressured. We still have plenty of time.”

…Well, three years is indeed plenty of time.

I ended up nodding.

Yuu smiled at me again.

I see.

I will definitely remember this.

Though I probably won’t be able to forget it until the wedding, even if I wanted to. The topic will keep coming up as the wedding approaches.

I’ll have to get my revenge by then.

Even as I thought that, I didn’t feel particularly upset.

Rather, I felt a bit happy.

To have a friend I could interact with like this.

And to be able to play an important role on one of the most important days of my friend’s life.

…Even if I pretend to be troubled, displeased, or indifferent on the outside.

I still wish for it.

To be more entangled with the people I cherish.

For more troublesome, slightly absurd things to happen. Preferably things that we can laugh about when we recall them later.

For days like today to happen again and again.

That’s what I wish for.