Ch.20567. Needle and Knot (3)

“Breathing in and out has no great meaning. What meaning do you assign to it? What meaning does it then hold? Setting that is the key.”

“…You’re still talking nonsense.”

Kariel scratched his head as he sat in the sanctuary, listening to the explanation.

The elf who claimed to have no name drew something in the air with his bony hand, as if tracing an invisible circle.

“Everything begins from a single point and returns to a single point. Beginning and end. That is all you need to remember and recite.”

“Is that similar to what mages do during mana cultivation?”

“Mana cultivation? How is it practiced in the current era?”

“Well…”

The methods mages use for mana cultivation and refinement are diverse.

They differ by school, and even within schools, methods vary slightly depending on the individual.

That’s what constitutes know-how and arcane knowledge.

From the differences in sharing magical theory within a school versus announcing it to outsiders… to cases where techniques are passed down only to direct disciples—this isn’t limited to mages.

Knights treat their secret swordsmanship, sword theories, and applications similarly.

Techniques are ultimately perfected through accumulated successful experiences, results, achievements, and trial and error passed down through generations.

If someone hadn’t known from the beginning that iron could become a sword.

If someone hadn’t immediately recognized and utilized the fact that mana could create all kinds of harmony.

“The methods are diverse. Training the body, cultivating concentration, using drugs or environments to optimize training conditions.”

“You don’t know, I see.”

“…I’m not a mage, so.”

Even parents don’t share their training methods.

That’s why mages typically treat their masters with greater respect than their parents.

If parents give birth to the body, the master of magic awakens and nurtures the soul.

That makes them even more special.

“You’re wise not to pretend or feign knowledge.”

“That’s true.”

Imitation, when half-hearted, only creates problems.

With swordsmanship, one can memorize movements and then practice and research, but… magical theory is different—understanding it intellectually is one thing, applying it is another matter entirely.

“It begins with a point. The point connects to a line, and the line creates circles, polygons, waves, and wavelengths.”

“……”

Is this suddenly an explanation?

“A straight line can be embraced by a circle. A point can be colored by a line. And emptiness is filled with points.”

When things collide, they return, and when they return, they flow again.

“What goes up comes down, and what comes down goes up again. As what is filled becomes empty. As what is full wanes.”

Just as what is emptied must be filled.

Just as what is filled must be emptied and depleted.

“Excuse me… couldn’t you at least tell me what meaning and purpose this explanation has?”

“Don’t try to understand.”

“What?”

“It’s not done with your head. It’s accomplished with your body and mind.”

“But that’s such nonsense…”

“It’s because you try to understand and grasp with your head that you cannot reach it.”

Strange, but persuasive.

Strangely so.

“That is the principle.”

“Hmm…”

“Move forward and you will reach it. Even if your eyes and ears are closed, as long as you’re not moving in the wrong direction, you will certainly reach it.”

“There’s no guarantee that’s the direction I want, is there?”

If someone with ill intentions points you in the wrong direction.

Only the one who believes them will meet a foolish end.

“Don’t ask me. How could I possibly know what you don’t know?”

“That’s so irresponsible…”

I lost my words.

Even when the conversation seems to be going somewhere, it suddenly floats away or gets inverted, leaving me unintentionally confused.

This kind of situation is quite rare.

“The wind seems to blow aimlessly, but everything comes and goes according to rules and principles. There is not the slightest error in this. Only those who cannot comprehend speak of chaos.”

“…Yes, yes. Let’s say that’s true. So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Beginning and end. The origin of the world. The first point. Starting from there, the world expands and stretches to infinity, then returns to a single point again.”

“……”

“The world originally began from a single point. And again, it returns to a single point. That’s what I’ve learned. Use my explanation to recall your own origin.”

“Then what about breathing?”

“It’s concentration. To reach a state of extreme focus, you must control your body. Deep breathing is the foundation for that.”

“…Is it some kind of special meditation? Mental unification? Visualization? Contemplation? Rumination?”

“If that’s how you want to treat it, that will be your limit.”

Ah…

I’d be better off talking to a wall.

“……”

But one thing is certain.

If this crazy elf hasn’t completely lost his mind, he was definitely an unknown entity.

Unknown.

I don’t intend to be arrogant and claim I understand everything in the world.

But this is the first time I’ve encountered something where nothing makes sense and no guesses or assumptions are possible.

Or maybe he’s just obsessed with talking nonsense.

“…Does this have anything to do with why I can’t sense any mana or spirits in your body?”

“I don’t know. If that’s what you felt, then that must be how it is.”

“For now, yes, yes. I understand.”

One thing is clear though—if I don’t want my body and mind to be taken over by some random person like before… I might need to focus a little.

“You won’t have much time, so concentrate.”

Despite his parting words and the sound of his footsteps clearly moving away from the sanctuary,

somehow his presence felt no different from before to now.

Only after he left did I truly realize it.

That being, even though he was right in front of me until just now… somehow not a single trace of his presence or aura could be felt.

====

A man wrapped in black cloth sat inside an earthen cave carved into the forest.

He had grown accustomed to the damp, cold smell of earth long ago.

The irregular, subtle sounds and sensations stimulating his senses from all directions had become familiar as well.

Eventually, as faint moonlight flowed in through the cave entrance, someone entered the cave interior without making a sound.

“How is your condition?”

A gaze could be faintly felt through the pulled-down hood.

The twitching of long, pointed ears and the faint tension in slightly irregular breathing.

The pulsing sound of a heartbeat.

Though faint, the breathing slightly misaligned with subtle tension.

As the expected visitor set down a basket and asked, black eyes gleamed faintly from between the black cloth, as if buried in darkness.

In the darkness, their gazes collided.

“Normal, and perfect.”

“That’s fortunate.”

That an emotionless tone could convey something like sarcasm was quite unusual.

“So… Keilan. When are we to move?”

“Soon now.”

“How do you feel about betraying the expectations of your kin? And inadvertently betraying them?”

“It’s for the greater cause. A race that forgets sacrifice and pain has no future.”

“You, who are younger and more capable than anyone, speak of sacrifice and pain?”

At those words, the one called Keilan responded as if having a fit.

“Those who willingly bear pain and dishonor while bleeding. The complacency that disparages them as innocent victims and tries to eliminate such beings in any way. Such negligence has made us so base.”

“Keilan. Do you still harbor resentment and regret toward your leaders who gave up opposing our forces?”

“That’s how it is. They rendered meaningless the noble sacrifices of our kin who went before us, under the pretext of preserving peace. Do you think this can be forgiven?”

“…Well. I agree on that point. There were some among your warriors who were challenging even for me.”

“……”

“Had you not called upon me specifically, that argument might have had merit.”

At those words, the hooded man’s clenched fist trembled.

Regardless, a voice came through the black cloth again.

“But in the end, your race didn’t suffer much harm, even though the continent was devastated and scorched. That was because your race’s leaders chose to secure practical benefits, even at the cost of dignity and pride.”

“Do you think your position qualifies you to evaluate their choices? Let alone empathize?”

“The leader of a band of defeated soldiers must survive, if only because of the burden of responsibility and trust—a wretched fate.”

“That sounds like a flimsy excuse.”

“Indeed. It’s a poor excuse. And bearing such condemnation and infamy is also the role of a leader.”

His black eyes, exposed to the faint, tilting moonlight, became infected with a pure white light.

“If that gives you even a small comfort, you may condemn me as much as you like.”

“…Cursed bastard.”

Eventually, the man who had turned his back asked, still sitting and staring at the one looking at him intently.

“Bargo. Aren’t you afraid? Of the ripples that what you’re about to do will cause?”

“Fear, is it.”

Once again shielded from the moonlight, showing only dark eyes through the black cloth, the cloth-wrapped man slowly moved his covered lips.

“What should this body, having lost its lord, fear? What right do I have to fear anything now, when I couldn’t even die honorably?”

“I hope those words weren’t just thoughtless nonsense.”

As the man finally left the cave, the moonlight began to shine clearly inside through the entrance gap.

But that light did not reach the black-clothed man sitting like a hardened stone.

“All I’m allowed is regret. But perhaps that much luxury will be permitted.”

If it were Him.

====

Regardless of the will of the world’s master and the world’s intent, what poses an immediate threat to me is the will of the World Tree.

Though I’ve somehow taken on the full authority of the elves, that doesn’t mean I’m free from it.

“So, World Tree sir. Let’s have a deeper conversation, shall we?”

Something without substance yet possessing self-awareness, like a collective unconscious that both exists and doesn’t exist.

But as its mass, volume, and the weight of ages began to accumulate, it started to take on a specific consciousness.

…That’s the conclusion I’ve reached for now.

From various opinions and books of theologians I’ve encountered, heaven was originally undefined.

But commonly, based on what Lady Irenis or her apostles mentioned, it varies wildly depending on interpretation.

When incorporating theories from ancient mages and philosophers… the worldview and related theories become even more complex.

Since childhood, when I followed my mother in perusing various scriptures, this was always my interest.

If you do good deeds, you go to heaven.

…But if praying well also gets you to heaven, why bother trying to get there through effort?

Why try to help even one more unfortunate person?

Non-believers might do so out of compassion… but why would believers?

If the afterlife is eternal and this life is worthless, illusory, and meaningless, why live earnestly and struggle to survive? Why were such instincts and emotions created?

Why test us? Why judge? Why do evil people prosper? Why did you make it so that greedy people can eat one more good piece of bread?

After questioning theory after theory, what remained was extremely simple.

Just believe.

Accept it graciously.

Don’t doubt.

But this doesn’t make sense.

You said it’s harder for the rich and wealthy to enter heaven than for a naked person to pass through the eye of a needle.

Why then say that anyone who believes and repents is forgiven and goes to heaven? That doesn’t make sense.

You said most people fall into hell, so why say that those who believe and repent can enter heaven?

Wouldn’t it be more rational to die quickly and go to heaven if life is difficult?

But suicide sends you to hell?

What is this? What am I supposed to do?

“So I naturally became curious about politics and social concepts.”

The moment religion becomes a plague.

Though its teachings aren’t necessarily wrong… there are clearly distorted and twisted parts.

So why was it distorted and twisted?

Because of the unique power called religious authority.

Before it, the powerless, incompetent, and ignorant, for whatever reason, helplessly kneel and bow their heads.

Despite nothing being guaranteed—neither substance, nor confirmation, nor clarity.

“And I found my own answer.”

The point is this:

Creating a better tomorrow.

To not live easily but to strive to become greater, more magnificent.

Mere words of comfort about effort ultimately mean nothing.

Then what does it mean to create a better self?

“……”

I place my hand on the sanctuary wall.

Currently, I bear the full authority of the fairy folk, the forest people.

This is a kind of credential.

And with it, I once again make contact with the will, the mind of the World Tree.

Countless visions depict all kinds of scenes.

Incomparably more than before.

‘As I thought….’

The insight inspired by the nameless elf’s words was effective.

The World Tree doesn’t glimpse the future.

It merely shows established facts under the name of “future.”

It is a path.

But because we cannot understand that path intellectually, we perceive it as scenes and phenomena.

Don’t try to understand.

There was a clue in the nameless elf’s words too.

It’s not about understanding the path, but simply accepting it.

Then the scenes disappear, and like countless branches of a tree.

Perhaps like hundreds or thousands of root branches.

They spread across the entire area, but.

What I want to see is not the edges of the world they extend to.

It’s their starting point.

‘The origin.’

Did he say it started from a single point?

Whether he deliberately gave me clues by repeating those words, or whether they just happened to come along with this, I don’t know.

‘Certainly.’

When I gave up trying to understand and just walked the path, it was surprisingly easy.

Trying to draw a non-existent map in my head without a guide was confusing. And there weren’t any clues or information to draw a map with anyway.

So just seeing with my eyes, listening with my ears, sharpening my senses.

I yearn. I long.

Toward what I desire.

As I walked, flowing along, at some point I found myself in a world where pale snowflakes were slowly settling.

In that world turned pure white.

I could witness a girl… hanging herself with a rope tied to a tree of her own will.