Ch.204The Forgotten One (6)

In the Outer Continent, there exists a phenomenon called “erosion.”

It’s a phenomenon that appears in those who live beyond the lifespan set by the world—those who might be considered errors from nature’s perspective. It happens because while they possess bodies that can endure eternity, they lack minds that can withstand forever.

While traveling the Outer Continent, Najin had seen many suffering from erosion. Among them were those who had completely eroded and transformed into the dead, or fallen stars.

Shulein, Krinbel, Alderan…

Compared to them, there was actually something suspicious about “The Blue Spear.”

‘Why hasn’t The Blue Spear eroded?’

Erosion comes when one loses memories, loses their star, or is unable to recognize themselves due to denial of their beliefs or achievements. And by that logic, The Blue Spear should have become one of the dead long ago.

A being who loses all memories every day.

What could be more vulnerable to erosion than that?

Yet The Blue Spear hadn’t eroded for at least 300 years. Despite losing his memories, he maintained his sanity. That’s why Najin thought The Blue Spear must have some means of avoiding erosion, like Gerd, Juel, or the Lighthouse Keeper.

‘That’s what I thought, but…’

Najin looked ahead.

There stood The Blue Spear, staring at him with empty eyes. Even worse, cracks—signs of erosion—had appeared on his body.

“Who are you?”

The Blue Spear, who had forgotten his beliefs and how to read.

Why was erosion appearing only now? And so suddenly? Najin frowned and pressed his brow firmly.

Because he thought he knew the reason.

This wasn’t the first time. With the Helm Knight too, Najin had experienced a similar situation. The perfectly fine Helm Knight had suddenly eroded rapidly at some point, and there were commonalities between that situation and the current one.

That Najin had learned something from them.

And that their lingering attachments showed signs of resolution.

Najin didn’t know exactly how this accelerated erosion. He could only guess that, like parents who age rapidly after raising their children, the process of passing on what one has to others and thereby “resolving attachments” affects erosion.

‘Was I wrong? Did I choose the wrong approach?’

Najin was confused. He wondered if what he thought was right might actually be wrong.

-That’s not for you to judge.

Merlin, who had been silent, spoke.

-Shouldn’t you ask the person himself?

‘But with The Blue Spear like this…’

-Forgot? You have a star that’s good for times like this.

Ah, Najin sighed.

Only then did he recall a piece of information he had forgotten. Najin closed his eyes and concentrated. His fifth star in the sky responded to its master’s will.

The Star of Mourning.

Najin opened his hand that had grasped the Star of Mourning. As its starlight shone on him, The Blue Spear’s empty eyes gained a strange light. He groaned, clutching his temple as if dizzy. After a moment, The Blue Spear looked at Najin with furrowed brows.

“What is this… who are you, or rather, who might you be?”

The Blue Spear had started using formal speech again.

Najin sighed in relief, but he knew himself. The Star of Mourning could delay or temporarily recover erosion, but not forever.

Najin sensed it.

The moment of choice was approaching.

“First.”

Najin pointed to the diary for the confused Blue Spear.

“Let’s talk again after you read that diary.”

The Blue Spear nodded and turned over the hourglass. Sand was already leaking from the cracked hourglass.

2.

“I am Najin. Free Knight Najin.”

An introduction that had been made countless times.

“And this is a letter sent by yesterday’s you.”

A letter from yesterday to today.

After conveying everything that needed to be conveyed and talking with The Blue Spear for a while, Najin fell silent. Normally, he would now be practicing with the spear to prepare for tomorrow… but he couldn’t do that now.

“……”

After a long silence, Najin spoke.

“Blue Spear.”

“Yes, Najin.”

“I am learning the spear from you.”

“I know. It’s written in the diary, and it was included in what yesterday’s me asked you to tell me.”

“…Does that make you feel proud?”

“What a strange question? How could I not feel proud that someone like me, who loses memories every day, can leave something behind? That my life doesn’t end today but continues into tomorrow? I am grateful to you.”

The Blue Spear smiled as he said this.

Najin couldn’t smile.

Not knowing how to say it, Najin’s expression remained stiff. Seeing Najin’s face, The Blue Spear smiled.

“Najin.”

It was a gentle smile and voice. In a voice like an adult soothing a child, he said:

“As I said, I am grateful to you. I know you’ve been spending quite a long time for me, making efforts. I don’t take those efforts lightly. So, it’s alright.”

“……”

“Speak freely. There’s nothing for me to resent you for.”

After thinking for a moment, Najin opened his mouth.

“My learning the spear from you, the series of actions of conveying yesterday’s words to today’s you—these are accelerating your erosion.”

“What is erosion?”

“It’s when you lose your very essence, and your body and soul crumble, turning you into a monster.”

The Blue Spear, stroking his chin, nodded.

“Ah, like when I addressed you informally before being exposed to the starlight?”

“…If you erode further, you’ll attack me to steal my stars. You’ll become a beast that only craves stars.”

“Hmm, I certainly don’t like the sound of that.”

The Blue Spear frowned as if disgusted. But that was it. He showed no signs of fear or aversion. In his usual voice, he said:

“How much time do I have left?”

“If we continue like this, I think three days would be the limit.”

“Three days. Three days.”

After muttering this, The Blue Spear grinned.

“That’s enough. That much is enough.”

“…Enough, you say?”

“Yes, enough. And Najin? There’s no need to worry about me. And even less need to doubt if your method was wrong.”

He stood up, holding his spear.

“According to this diary, and according to you, I’ve spent at least 300 years in this desert. Every day losing my memories, wielding a spear whose meaning I didn’t know, dying one day and living the next.”

In fact, The Blue Spear laughed bitterly.

“I wonder if that can even be called ‘living.’ I don’t know what my past self thought.”

The Blue Spear opened the diary wide for Najin. It was a page he had newly written after meeting Najin.

“It seems that after meeting you, I felt ‘alive.’ The sentences have changed. I started writing my subjective thoughts, not just listing objective facts.”

The handwriting wasn’t neat. It was full of words that had been rewritten many times, crossed out with double lines, and written anew. Even without reading the content, one could tell it was full of vitality.

“I am alive. I feel alive. I don’t know much about this erosion, but doesn’t it come only to those who are alive? Just as people age and die.”

“That’s…”

“I understand why erosion that didn’t come for 300 years is coming at this moment.”

Then, The Blue Spear said:

“I think I’ll consider this erosion as evidence that I’m alive. Not bad. Yes, not bad at all.”

As he said this, The Blue Spear smiled, and it was truly a refreshing smile. Seeing The Blue Spear actually welcoming his erosion, Najin couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

“Blue Spear.”

Najin stood up.

When the person himself spoke like that, he couldn’t just sit there. Najin did what he had to do, what he could do.

“You have two paths.”

“Yes, what are they?”

“One is for me to leave you now. Then you won’t erode any further. The daily routine you’ve repeated for 300 years will continue.”

“Then what’s the other path?”

“For me to perfectly learn your spear technique, resolving your lingering attachment.”

“What happens to me if my attachment is resolved?”

“You’ll die. Probably.”

The Blue Spear looked straight at Najin.

“May I ask one question? Najin.”

“By all means.”

“Where will you go after learning the spear from me? What will you accomplish? What is your goal?”

Najin answered that question.

He talked about his starting point and his goal. After listening to that story for a while, The Blue Spear nodded with a satisfied smile.

“That’s enough.”

“What do you mean, ‘enough’?”

“I mean I’m satisfied. Though I can’t be certain. My past self surely…”

The Blue Spear opened the diary he was holding. He seemed to be looking for specific content, but as he turned the pages, his finger stopped. Then, with a slight smile, he closed the diary.

“I am certain.”

Then he said:

“I have lived to be someone’s fertilizer. And now that I can imagine how beautiful the flower will be that grows from me as fertilizer… I think.”

In the middle of a desert where nothing remains.

In the middle of a desert where not a single blade of grass grows, The Blue Spear saw a blooming flower. Because he saw that flower, The Blue Spear could say:

“It was worth it.”

The Blue Spear chose what he would remain as.

“I’d like to say I choose the ‘second path,’ but… this doesn’t seem like something I can choose alone. I’m also doubtful.”

“About what?”

“I resented my past self. Though I said I didn’t, I actually did. I resented myself for throwing myself away, for discarding my memories. But I don’t want to do that at the end.”

Then, to Najin’s question, The Blue Spear answered:

“Please ask the same question to tomorrow’s me, who won’t know anything. This is the last letter I’m sending.”

3.

Sand flowed from the cracked hourglass. The flowing sand returned to the desert. As the sand that had been trapped in the hourglass for 300 years returned to the desert, night came to the desert, and morning followed.

Dawn broke and daylight brightened.

As twilight settled on the desert and the sand grains shimmered like stars in the sunlight, he opened his eyes. Those eyes were empty. Remembering nothing, he looked ahead.

There sat a young man.

“Who are you?” the man asked the young man. The young man answered, but he didn’t answer what the man had asked.

“You lose your memories every day. You remember nothing. This has been going on for 300 years.”

The young man explained.

The situation the man was in and the life he had been repeating. The young man didn’t explain at length. After providing only the necessary information, the young man posed a question to the man.

“You have two paths.”

Two paths. Two methods.

After explaining each path, the man asked the young man again:

“Who are you?”

“Najin. Free Knight Najin.”

“Yes, Najin.”

After thinking for a moment, he opened his mouth.

“I don’t know what my past self thought. I don’t know myself. But one thing I do know.”

Then he smiled.

“That eternal life doesn’t seem to have value. That’s not living even though you’re alive. It’s dying. Then I’d rather live, even if just for one day.”

Life.

“You said you’re my disciple?”

“I learned the spear from you.”

“Then, promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“That you’ll use me as a stepping stone to reach higher.”

At that answer, Najin couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why do you laugh?”

“It would be faster to ask yourself that.”

Najin grasped the Star of Mourning. Recalling his beliefs, The Blue Spear couldn’t help but realize why Najin had laughed. After reading the diary and hearing the story, The Blue Spear laughed out loud.

“It seems I think the same thing even when I completely lose my memories, even when I forget my beliefs.”

“You really are a consistent person.”

“I can see why you’d laugh. Yes, then since we don’t have much time, let’s start quickly.”

“Start what?”

“What else?”

The man who chose to be The Blue Spear grasped his spear.

“The daily routine. We can’t skip the routine.”

In the middle of the desert, The Blue Spear wielded his spear. Even as the wind blew and mixed the sand, the traces of his spear movements didn’t disappear. His footprints in the desert also didn’t vanish.

Because there was someone following him.

Najin followed The Blue Spear, wielding the spear. He walked behind The Blue Spear who went ahead. And so, as the sun was setting.

Thud.

Najin and The Blue Spear stood in the same place.

“Najin.”

The Blue Spear made what would be his final greeting.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”