Chapter 203: Thinking of You All Alone (R19)

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It had been a long time. Or perhaps a short time.

They had lived as friends for many years, spent long years apart, and had only reunited less than half a year ago.

He was a precious childhood friend.

A companion, a younger sibling, a savior.

From the moment Sugar met that boy—the one who had dragged his small body through the winter mountains to save her—something special had stirred in her heart.

Trust and affection.

Back then, she might not have called it a “woman’s love.” Just goodwill toward the one who had rescued her from the fate of rotting away in that accursed cult.

It was true that seeing him again had made her reconsider the friend she had once thought of only as someone to care for. After all, she had always been the one to embrace and guide young Riley, believing herself to be the elder.

But the boy brought a change that defied her expectations.

And then, he left—just like that.

The longer she yearned to see him but couldn’t, the more her longing grew. Such was the nature of human bonds.

I miss you so much.

Are you doing well?

Have you forgotten me?

The long separation had amplified her emotions. With longing as the catalyst, they grew explosively—ripening, maturing.

And so, she counted the days until they would meet again. Imagining, every day, the man he had become.

Then, the reunion came.

The towering figure before her was no longer the boy she once knew. His mind no longer so easily swayed by her teasing.

And yet, his love for her remained unchanged.

It was only a matter of time before the she awakened.

In an instant, the dynamic between them flipped—and she was swallowed whole by it.

Within her, trust, affection, goodwill, and longing all tangled together, merging into one vast, weighty emotion.

Unfortunately, the unease that had built over the years had also seeped in. By the time she realized it, her feelings were no longer just rosy—they were too deep, too immense.

Even Sugar’s rationality whispered that this was dangerous. Watching the relentless tide of her emotions, she wondered if “love” was even the right word anymore.

A heart higher than the sky, wider than the sea, darker than a swamp.

A feeling she shouldn’t harbor for family. A feeling she, of all people, had no right to direct at him.

Whether she acknowledged the name of that emotion or not, one thing was certain: she cherished him. And so, she pretended not to know.

She didn’t want to ruin what they had just rebuilt. She didn’t want him to break.

There was already too much weighing on her. She refused to drag him deeper into her mess.

And so, she hid behind the roles she was supposed to play—and turned away.

Everything was for him…

…

But in truth, she hated it.

The pretense. The roles. At some point, she had grown sick of it.

Being just a friend wasn’t enough. Being just an older sister made her nauseous.

She wanted more. More, more, more. She wanted every one of his relationships to be stained with her presence.

She wanted to monopolize him.

To own him.

To make him look only at her.

She wanted to spend her whole life with him.

And if she couldn’t—

Sugar shook her head violently. Her chest felt cold.

‘Why am I thinking like this? I’ve lost my mind.’

This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted to admit it. She had feigned ignorance to avoid this—and yet, that damned woman had torn her wide open.

“…But I really do love him.”

Truly. To the point where she couldn’t even imagine a future without him.

That was how much she loved him.

Love.

A woman in love with a man hugged herself tightly, wrapping her arms around the body clad in his borrowed shirt.

It was a strange feeling. One moment, she was floating as if she could ascend to the heavens—the next, she was crashing to the ground, shattered. Like biting into a sugar cube, only for it to turn into 99% dark chocolate.

Her chest ached so much that tears streamed down her face, yet the mere thought of him made her heart race.

Dizzy from the unstable contradictions, she let herself drown in it. Unpleasant yet warm, with no desire to escape. A sweet agony born from you.

“…But I’m still afraid.”

Acknowledging it was one thing, but—

How would she change now?

How would their relationship change?

She had fallen so deeply for him.

But what about his side?

There were still too many unresolved things. What would become of their future?

“Out of everything… I care most about your heart.”

Do you love me too?

The affection Riley showed Sugar—was it just because he was kind? Just friendship, with no romantic feelings?

If he was only treating her warmly because of her childhood promise to be his family—

“…Well, it doesn’t matter.”

Her chest hurt, but her reaction was oddly calm.

After all, no matter what, she would have him in the end.

Tears spilled over at the thought, but within her heart burned a resolve fiercer than ever.

A woman in love is strong.

Sugar had acknowledged her feelings. She had no intention of quietly burying them and wasting away. Even before admitting it, her obsession had been explosive—this was inevitable.

So, no one else should like Riley.

He’s mine. Don’t you dare like him. Don’t even look at him. Don’t say his name. Don’t breathe near him. Don’t feel his magic. Don’t touch a single strand of his hair. He’s been hers since they were little.

Always.

“…”

‘Maybe I haven’t changed as much as I thought…’

Even before admitting her feelings, she had probably been like this.

Leaning back against the headboard, she tried to look at herself objectively.

She felt sluggish. Drained from pouring out her emotions, exhausted from the long journey. The sweetness and bitterness of love gnawed at her mind, leaving her spent.

In this haze, she just wanted to feel good. Even if just for a moment, she wanted to forget the anxieties—about love, about the future.

Would he think I’m pathetic if he saw me like this? Would he lose interest?

But right now, she just wanted to chase away the unease. To think of him.

A harmless, easy way to feel better.

A desire that came naturally when thinking of the one she loved.

The woman who had finally embraced her own heart burned with need.

“Hnn…”

Burying her face in the sleeve of his shirt, she slowly parted her legs. Just inhaling his scent made her tingle all over.

Even that slight motion sent a jolt through her lower half, making her shiver. Her abdomen clenched, craving pleasure.

‘This is what happens when I think of you. Just your smell does this to me.’

In her dazed state, she tentatively brought a hand to her chest. It was her first time touching herself like this—she was a little nervous. Gently, carefully, she pressed her palm against her skin.

Her body twitched at the contact. Already so sensitive.

But she didn’t pull away. Instead, she stroked downward, her fingers kneading the soft flesh. Even through the fabric, she could feel the peaks hardening.

“Haah…”

Blood rushed to her chest, the tips stiffening under her touch. She pinched them lightly, imagining his hands instead of hers—his warmth, his grip. The thought alone made them ache.

Pushing the shirt aside, she bared herself fully. Her plush, flushed nipples begged for attention. She pinched and rolled them, mimicking the way he had touched her before.

‘It always felt so good when you did this. Melting like sugar, becoming one with you. Your arms, your scent, your heat, your heartbeat—dissolving into you.’

Truthfully, she had been overjoyed when he’d given her her first climax. Was there anything more thrilling than coming undone under the hands of the man she loved?

Her first kiss had been with him. Her first time touching herself had been while thinking of him.

‘Please, be part of every single one of my desires.’

“Ah… Aah… Riley… Rileeyy…”

Sugar sobbed his name, her voice thick with longing. Every time she called for him, it felt like he was right there—her back tingling with phantom touches.

Does he ever think of me like this? When he touches himself, does he imagine me too?

The thought sent a jolt of embarrassment—and then, immediately, her mind conjured up a new fantasy.

The image of him—always so composed—alone in his room, gasping her name as he chased his own pleasure.

“Ah… Hah… Ngh… You’re so… dirty, Riley…”

Her core clenched at the mental picture, wetness seeping through her stockings.

One hand still tormenting her nipples, the other slid lower, fingers brushing over damp fabric.

“Ah… Sorry… I’m sorry for imagining such awful things… Hah… It’s not my fault… You’re the one who made me like this…”

Then the fantasy shifted again.

Now, she imagined getting caught—Riley walking in on her, seeing her like this, hearing her moan his name.

“Ahh… Ah! Aahn… Please… There, right there… Nngh… I’m not a pervert… I only get like this for you…”

In her mind, he scolded her, called her names—yet she trembled, her body arching as she circled her clit through the fabric. Even this light touch was enough to send sparks through her oversensitive nerves.

Her hips jerked, her back bowing off the bed. Her mouth fell open, gasping, her tongue dry from panting.

So wet down there… but my mouth is so dry…

She swallowed, licking her lips before letting out another shaky breath.

“Hah… Nngh… Riley…”

The desperate, lovestruck cry hung in the air—

***************

Meanwhile…

Click.

Riley set down the pen he’d been spinning.

Glancing at the clock, he saw it was already evening.

Gathering the densely worded papers in front of him, he stood.

“Leaving already?”

“I have to.”

Cedric, seated across from him, frowned.

“I’m heading out tomorrow morning.”

“Understood. Safe travels.”

“…”

“Do you need me to see you off?”

“You think I’d sulk if you didn’t?”

It’s because I’m worried about you all— He bit back the rest.

With his body fully recovered, Cedric had urgent business to attend to—something that required him to leave the Holy City.

Which meant Riley would be alone.

“Of course, the moment things get chaotic, trouble rears its head…”

“Don’t worry. There’s no benefit in provoking dragons right now. We’re adults—we can handle ourselves. Besides… you were never one to stick around the Holy City much anyway.”

“Fair point.”

Riley shrugged it off coolly.

“But it’s not just you guys I’m… Ugh. Never mind. Guess I’m just getting old. Everything worries me now.”

“If worrying actually solved anything, you’d be unstoppable.”

“Can’t you comfort me a little nicer?”

Cedric grumbled, waving his hand dismissively as if shooing Riley out.

With a slight bow, Riley stepped out of the office. He had been helping with the backlog of paperwork and browsing through some documents before leaving.

Haaah…

He let out a sigh as he exited.

Lately, there was too much on his mind, and his head throbbed. Not that it was anything new—but with the heightened vigilance in the Holy City and the truth about Sugar’s inner nature now known to him, it was inevitable.

Either way, he needed a break.

And since he hadn’t seen his childhood friend all day, he should go check on her.

Not that half a day apart was unbearable.

Not that his hands trembled when she wasn’t around.

Riley touched his left ear, where a new piercing now sat—a counterpart to Sugar’s choker. It functioned as a beacon, tracking her coordinates and allowing communication.

“…Why aren’t you answering?”

But the call wasn’t going through.

Checking the coordinates, he recognized the location—Sugar’s room in the Grand Temple. So she was in her room right now.

Earlier in the day, she had sent a message: “Going somewhere with a friend, be back later!” He had confirmed that she hadn’t gone far from the Holy City and had returned by dusk.

At first, he wondered if something was wrong, but then it occurred to him—maybe they had actually gotten closer? If her jealousy had cooled off, that was a good thing.

He had been pleased.

Is she tired and sleeping? Or is something wrong?

He tried calling a few more times. The choker would relay the vibrations directly—she should feel it.

Ah, finally.

“Hey. You okay? Why’d you take so long to pick up?”

[Ah… Uhh… Haaah… Haaah…]

“…Sugar?”

[Mmm… H-heee… Haaaah…]

What the hell is this?

“Are you hurt? Or… crying?”

[N-no… I’m f-fine… Hnngh…]

Since when does she use polite speech with me?

“Something’s definitely wrong. I’m coming over.”

[N-no, don’t… You c-can’t…]

“…”

This was serious.

Whatever was happening, it was bad. Her ragged breathing, the trembling in her voice, the way her words tangled—

Riley took a moment to think. Why is she like this? Sure, she was always a little weird, but what set her off today?

He knew who she had been with earlier, and that only made him more uneasy.

“Come to think of it… her return speed was off.”

He had occasionally checked her movement via coordinates. When she left, she must have ridden some kind of mount with that friend—but on the way back, her speed had been erratic.

Meaning… she flew back alone?

“Wait. Does that mean… they didn’t get closer after all?”

Did she do something?

Did she kill her?

Did she start trouble?

I told her not to let jealousy get the better of her!

Riley summoned his staff.

“Hey… just stay calm. I’m coming over right now, so wait for me.”

[N-no… You c-can’t…!]

“Stay put. It’s fine.”

[Ah… Ah… But it’s n-not…]

Whether she refused or not, a bad feeling settled in his chest, and he immediately began reciting the teleportation spell. Since they were both in the Grand Temple, the distance was short—it would be over in an instant.

Once he locked onto her coordinates and uttered the incantation, the world spun around him, and in the next moment, the scenery changed.

And so, he arrived in Sugar’s room—

Arrived…

In her room…

“…”

Riley blinked.

Content Warning

This is an NSFW image, if you want to see it click the white 1 in the upper right at the end of this sentence.¹

“Ah… Uhh… I told you… not to come…”

Despite her words, Riley found himself face-to-face with his friend—who showed no sign of stopping the way she was kneading at her own chest.