Ch.202Chapter 202. Epilogue (2)

Chapter 202. Epilogue (2)

“…Oh, Hannah. It’s been a while.”

I gulped down the large bite of sandwich I had taken. I wonder if talking might make the contents spill out.

“Sorry I couldn’t visit you in the hospital. Dina asked me to help with extermination, saying there might still be demons around…”

“I know. You told me in your message.”

“R-right. I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“…”

Hannah just blinked, seemingly unable to think of what to say next.

“…”

I was the same way. It’s kind of funny, but things had become awkward between Hannah and me.

Maybe because we started as online friends?

You know how it is. When chatting, you can type all sorts of random nonsense without structure, but when you actually meet face-to-face, it gets embarrassing. That’s exactly how it felt.

“Paladin, move aside if you have no business here. You’re blocking UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode’s path.”

Of course, having Lakye by my side whenever we met didn’t help. Lakye had volunteered to be my 24-hour bodyguard, claiming I was in danger now that I had a normal human body.

She wasn’t forcing it on me. I agreed. Since I could now die from an ordinary person’s blade, I was all for having my trustworthy guardian Lakye accompany me.

The problem was that whenever I ran into Hannah, Lakye was there too. Given that their relationship began as kidnapper and hostage (or sacrifice), they already had bad blood between them.

Every time they see each other, they glare with such intensity that even I get intimidated watching them. If they would just have a fistfight or argue, I could at least intervene, but when they just stare at each other, there’s nothing I can do to mediate.

“…Tch.”

Hannah’s lips twitched as if she wanted to say something, but after looking at my face once, she just bowed her head and walked past.

“Please take your time eating.”

“Ah, thanks.”

Lakye snorted as she watched Hannah leave and handed me a water bottle.

“Phew.”

As I gulped down the water, Lakye, who was clearly watching me, spoke up.

“That Paladin seems to have feelings for you, UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode.”

“What? No, I don’t think so.”

Damn, I almost spat it out. What are you saying all of a sudden?

Lakye, are you some kind of malicious shipper (someone who constantly tries to pair people up)?

“The way she looked at you was tender.”

You’re just an expert in attention-seeking interpretations. You’re like a fortune-teller making wild guesses.

“I told you about the community, right? She’s a friend I met there. She probably just feels bad about not visiting me in the hospital.”

“What do you think, UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode? Do you like that woman?”

“…”

Do I like Hannah? Honestly, I’m not sure. Of course, I enjoyed exchanging private messages with her. When I was a totem with limited mobility due to missing limbs, nothing was more fun than that.

But like her? That’s a different matter. I didn’t feel any butterflies or anything.

I’m quite picky, or rather, cautious when it comes to romantic relationships. Some might say I’m just naturally inept at romance, but that’s absolutely not true.

A romantic relationship should involve getting to know each other, confirming whether your hobbies and sense of humor match, contemplating whether those fluttering feelings are just temporary, and through that process, reaching the conviction that “I could spend my life with this person.”

…Though I’m not really one to talk, considering I ended up dating my ex-girlfriend after making her cry.

Maybe I’m just a man weak to women’s tears?

I was about to answer honestly that I wasn’t sure when—

“She has a bad personality and a flat chest. She wouldn’t be able to raise children properly and healthily.”

“Pfft!”

Ah, I burst out laughing. What kind of logic is that? It sounds like something an old grandfather in traditional clothes would claim.

It really hits home that Lakye isn’t a modern 21st-century person but a native of this fantasy world.

Come to think of it, that peculiar way of thinking—judging good girls from bad girls by milk jug size—might actually be normal in this world.

“U-UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode?”

Lakye’s eyes wavered, confused by my laughter.

“You sounded a bit like EunuchBro just now.”

“…!”

Lakye’s eyes narrowed as she pressed her lips tightly together.

She’s sulking. She’s cute, like a pouty child.

“Now that we’ve had a light meal, how about some walking exercise for rehabilitation?”

“…Understood.”

She answers even when sulking. She’s a good kid, I tell you.

I headed to Training Ground 2 with Lakye. Unlike the original training ground used only by warriors, this facility is available for ordinary people too. It has a dedicated running course, which I planned to use.

[NotACatfish: .]

[NotACatfish: .]

[NotACatfish: .]

[?]

[NotACatfish: Is that person still with you?]

[Who? Lakye?]

[NotACatfish: Yeah]

[We’re always together]

[NotACatfish: Wasn’t she Malak’s shadow?]

[NotACatfish: She was so proud of being a guardian, so why is she your shadow now?]

[Hey, don’t call her a shadow. She volunteered because she’s worried about me]

[NotACatfish: Worried?]

[NotACatfish: Did something happen between you two?]

[What are you talking about]

[Are you a shipper too?]

[NotACatfish: What’s a shipper, you weeb]

[She’s just being my bodyguard because I’m weaker now. No weird thoughts]

[NotACatfish: I could be your bodyguard too]

[I am Malak’s messenger.]

[I don’t need a Paladin’s protection.]

[NotACatfish: Ah]

[NotACatfish: Yeah]

[NotACatfish: Sure~]

I made sure to reply to Hannah’s private messages.

“Hahaha! If it isn’t Messenger UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode! I thought you were in the infirmary!”

Kanto, the otherworld’s strongest alpha male and muscle-bound tribal chief, greeted me in front of the training ground.

He’s an intimidating guy with an absurdly large axe (ouch) and a murderous smile.

“What brings you here? Orders from Malak?”

Why are you at Training Ground 2 instead of 1? You’re so intimidating that people will run away.

“Nothing special. I just wanted to stretch my body to celebrate being discharged.”

I spoke with as much dignity as possible. I try to maintain a dignified appearance in front of barbarians and civilians, though those who know the situation, like Lakye or the possessed, can see through it.

“Oh, exercise! Excellent! I, the great tribal chief—no, Malak’s chosen berserker Kanto, will personally train—!”

No, you madman. Can’t you see my cast?

Even without that, exercise with Kanto? All I can imagine is my body turning to dust, unable to withstand his harsh training.

It wouldn’t be UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode’s fun exercise time but Kanto’s happy origami time.

“Lakye?”

I appealed to my reliable guardian for help.

“Move aside. While I’m still asking nicely.”

“…Let’s do it together next time!”

Kanto backed off at a single word from Lakye, who was in a low mood after being compared to the milk jug youth.

It’s not that Kanto is a coward; he got thoroughly beaten when he challenged Lakye to a duel a few days ago. He had been bragging about getting stronger and challenged her. He came back completely pulverized.

How do I know? Well… Kanto was in the room next to mine in the infirmary.

Unlike me with just my right arm bandaged, he was brought in wrapped in bandages from head to toe like a mummy.

This bastard Kanto. He really has no fear. In a world where ultra-powerful beings like the real Malak, the Seven-Headed Dragon, the Evil God, Dark Cloud, and Charon are gone, he dared to challenge Lakye, who now stands as the undisputed strongest.

He’s not a berserker; he’s just a rabid dog.

“Oh.”

There were quite a few people on the running course. Even groups of children were visible, chatting while taking a leisurely stroll.

It was almost like a university campus.

“It’s noisy. Should I drive them all away?”

“Please don’t. I beg you.”

As I was walking slowly with Lakye for exercise—

“Messenger! UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode!”

A Paladin urgently approached me. It was Noah, now a proper adult woman.

“What’s wrong?”

“T-Toughie is…!”

Noah was breathing heavily, having apparently run all the way here.

“Catch your breath and then speak.”

“Something’s wrong with Toughie!”

“What?”

***

I moved as quickly as possible after hearing that there was a problem with Toughie’s condition.

“Messenger!”

A pale-faced Paya was holding the head of the house-sized monstrous pigeon.

Kweeek…!

Toughie, who had been growing larger by the day and finally became a giant monster, was collapsed on the ground.

“What happened?”

“Toughie, Toughie…!”

After calming down the very startled Paya, I heard the story.

Toughie had been groaning since yesterday evening, and this morning he sat down and couldn’t get up again.

“Toughie’s spiritual power is going berserk! But I don’t know why…!”

“I’ll request help from Malak.”

I nodded to Lakye. She raised Totem #3 from her waist.

The current story is that Malak is taking a long rest to recover his divine power, which was depleted after killing the Evil God and enduring Charon’s finishing move.

For the time being, he can only communicate with me, UltraSansMadWithMoonlightMassacreMode, so I told everyone to call me if they needed Malak.

I quickly transferred my consciousness to the totem. Lakye very carefully supported my body.

– Priestess Paya. I have come, so do not worry.

“Lord Malak!”

I examined Toughie with the vision of a totem—no, a divine being.

A powerful energy was writhing inside Toughie’s spiritual body.

This energy is… huh?

Lakye, who was examining Toughie with me, frowned.

“Could it be… Roa?”