Ch.202. Monologue.

# 02. Talking to Myself

“Um… so, hello?”

It’s been nearly a year since I woke up alone in this frozen world.

During that time, I’ve wandered here and there following traces of civilization, trying to find living people.

Unfortunately, I haven’t met a single survivor even once.

“Ugh… I didn’t used to be this awkward.”

Still, to avoid forgetting how to speak.

To prevent myself from being flustered if I ever met a survivor, I’ve been talking to myself whenever I had the chance.

But as the absence of conversation has stretched on, the very act of speaking to another person has become awkward.

“……”

In the cold streets where I’m the only living, moving being.

Standing on a road where snow has piled up to my calves, I smile awkwardly while looking at the drone’s lens hovering at my eye level.

Right, first I should greet them… and then what comes next?

Ask about the weather, ask how they’re feeling today, ask what they had for breakfast?

…No, that’s too textbook.

It’s not bad to ask how someone is doing out of courtesy, but it feels a bit off in this situation.

“Damn, it’s been so long since I’ve had a conversation that I’ve forgotten how to keep one going.”

Originally, “conversation” is universally an act where two conscious people talk about the same topic, sharing their thoughts.

What I’m doing now—rambling to a camera attached to a drone—is actually closer to the monologues I’ve been having all this time.

If I had to point out the difference from my usual monologues, I guess it would be that what I’m saying now might be transmitted to someone through the camera.

Even that doesn’t seem to get an immediate response, so I could probably just blurt out whatever comes to mind like I usually do without any problems…

But regardless of objective facts, just the idea of being connected to another person made my heart pound—thump, thump—making it really difficult to maintain my composure.

“Ugh… this will take some time to get used to. For now, I’ll try my best to talk to myself like usual, so if anyone is watching this video, please understand if I say strange things now and then.”

…Whether my words will actually reach a living person, I’m not sure.

That negative thought crossed my mind, but I deliberately kept it to myself.

“Wow, it works well.”

Despite its somewhat shabby appearance, the drone must have various technologies built in, as it flies around just fine without me controlling it.

I’m not sure if it’s tracking the controller’s position or judging the surroundings through the camera.

Even without specifying which direction to move, it flies around on its own within a certain range, filming the city landscape and me.

It might just be my imagination, but watching the drone like this gives me a strange feeling that it’s somehow alive.

So I often tossed casual remarks when the drone came close.

“Today’s weather is… right, it’s still snowing today. As always. Either a lot of snow or a little snow. On really lucky days, the sky might clear for half a day, but today doesn’t seem to be one of those days.”

The countless people who lived in the city have long fallen into a deep sleep, and the city has ceased to function.

As a result, nothing special happens, so my monologues mostly consist of straightforward impressions of what I see and feel, and messages I want to convey to whoever might watch this video.

“Fortunately, the wind isn’t strong today. Usually, the wind is so sharp it feels like it could cut my face. I guess this makes it quite a lucky day. The drone I thought was dead got fixed properly too.”

“If anyone is watching this video and living somewhere other than this city, I hope the weather there is always warm. No, maybe being always warm isn’t great either? Anyway, I hope it’s a good place to live, whatever it is.”

I haven’t had the chance to talk with anyone, but originally, I was a “boy” who really enjoyed chatting about even trivial things.

The monologues that felt awkward at first became familiar within hours, and I could speak as comfortably as when I’m alone.

In fact, having something to talk to, even if it’s just a drone, made words come more easily and at greater length than usual.

“There’s a bicycle sleeping under the snow. It must have been too tired. Maybe because it’s two-tired?”

Sometimes when I’m bored, I throw out wordplay that pops into my head. Or grumble about getting hungry.

I don’t know if anyone will watch my footage captured by this lens, but if they do, I’m sure they won’t be bored.

“By the way, for your sake and mine, I’d like to tell you where I am and where I’m going… but I can’t explain because there aren’t any signs or place names visible that could indicate the location.”

I don’t know what happened while I was asleep, but the world has changed too much.

Each city has lost its name and is called by strange names like D-6, F-3.

Many buildings that lost electricity and collapsed have also lost their names.

In this situation, figuring out my location wasn’t an easy task.

“Well, when I entered this city, I did see a sign that said ‘D-1’… but it’s quite ambiguous. It’s not like the numbers follow in sequence as you follow the road.”

If it were like walking from D-1 along the road to reach D-2, that would make sense, but the numbers after the letter were literally random.

Instead, when crossing the vast snowfield that separates cities, the alphabet at the front changes one by one, like H-F-E.

I’m not sure if this has any significant meaning yet.

Unlike me who came from the past, people who lived in this world might know about these rules or the structure of the cities.

Honestly… the possibility is low. The cities don’t look like they’ve been like this for just a few months or years.

“So I’ve been making my own map as I go around… Ah, it’s not a detailed map. I just represent memorable places I’ve seen and walked through as shapes.”

Tall buildings, no matter how differentiated they try to be, eventually converge to similar designs, making it confusing to tell where is where after walking around the city a bit.

When the sun is out, I could use it to find direction and walk in one direction, but as I mentioned earlier, days when the sun is visible are really rare.

So I started drawing maps to record the paths I’ve walked and to leave evidence that I survived another day.

Like assembling machines, it was something I had no talent for, so at first, I really struggled with how to draw it and what scale to use.

But now, after some time, I can sketch it without much thought. Of course, being handmade, the quality isn’t excellent.

“Are you curious? I’ll show you after I find a place to sleep. If you’re lucky, there might be a building you recognize, so you might come looking for me.”

In a world where winter is the only season that exists, the sun sets quickly.

The sky that was relatively bright when I fixed the drone and went outside just hours ago was already darkening.

“Therefore, shall we find a place to sleep?”

Even when the sun is up, the world is dim, covered by hazy clouds all day.

And when the sun sets and darkness falls, unless it’s a really good weather day, you can’t see an inch in front of you.

Fortunately, nightfall doesn’t bring dangerous wild animals or zombies like in movies, but standing in the pitch-black streets without a single streetlight is exhausting. The visibility is already short due to the snow, and you don’t get used to the darkness even as time passes.

Moreover, at night, the already cold temperature drops even further, and there’s a risk of tripping over corpses or objects in the dark.

With snow piled up to my calves, falling doesn’t generally cause injury.

But occasionally, there are sharp objects or terrifying weapons hidden in the snow.

“It hasn’t collapsed. And it doesn’t look like it will collapse. I’ll sleep here today.”

If I had to name one good thing about the city becoming like this, it’s that the concept of ownership has disappeared.

Items on the street, items in houses, even the houses themselves—if something is usable, you can just use it.

People who lived in this era must have struggled hard to obtain these houses or items. It’s quite ironic.

“I hope the inside is clean.”

Whether it’s because of advanced technology in the future or because it was a world where you had to be meticulous about securing your home.

Most houses have multiple locks, and the windows are so sturdy that they would barely get scratched even if shot at. Not to mention the intimidating security devices at the entrance or in the hallway.

But that’s only when electricity is properly flowing.

In a city where electricity has been cut off and all backup power has been consumed, locks and security devices have lost their meaning.

“Excuse me.”

I take out the fire axe fixed to my bag and grip it.

“No matter how sturdy the door is, no matter how many devices are installed. If there’s no one to interfere, it can be opened somehow.”

…Saying it like this makes me sound like a thief. I hope you understand that I’m doing this to survive.

“Got it!”

The door opened quickly.

And when I entered the house that would shelter me for the night, the first thing that greeted me was.

A person hanging dead with a rope around their neck.

“Well, the inside is relatively clean.”

It was a common, such a common sight.