Ch.1The Indolent Ruid

# This Life is Ruined

“I’ll start with this opening line.”

It seems quite interesting.

“For the next sentence… hmm.”

Ruide blinked a few times, then grabbed his pen and tossed it away.

“Let’s stop.”

He had wanted to experience the life of a successful writer, but thinking about it, he’d never even kept a diary before.

What a waste.

If he wrote about his past life, it would surely be a hit.

Instead, he decided to close his eyes and just think about it.

He lay down on the soft meadow, using it as a bed.

“Ah, whatever.”

Ruide opened his eyes.

His clear blue eyes reflected the sunlight, creating a mesmerizing glow.

He awkwardly got up, grabbed the pen that was sticking out near the lake, and climbed back up.

He opened a book enchanted with ‘Never-ending Pages’ magic and lay down on his stomach.

There was uncomfortable pressure on his chest, but he decided to endure it.

“It’s not like I have anything else to do. Someone might be curious… I’ll just write it down.”

He began writing a diary about his past life.

**

This Life is Ruined

My father went bankrupt and ran away, and my mother lost her will to live and became lethargic.

Still, as their child, I couldn’t let my parents starve.

“Mom, I got a job. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

Taking a break from school to earn living expenses was the only option.

I worked like crazy. I’d never put effort into anything in my life, but when the situation hit, I found myself doing anything that paid—deliveries, loading and unloading, whatever.

But it felt like pouring water into a bottomless jar.

The situation never improved.

Three years passed, but nothing changed.

I was getting more and more exhausted.

Just when I wanted to give up everything…

“Are you Ms. Lee Yeja’s guardian?”

My mother passed away.

“The cause of death was arrhythmia due to extreme stress.”

It was “fire illness” (stress-induced illness).

The doctor said my mother had too many things bottled up inside, and that’s what happened.

I didn’t even cry during the three-day funeral. It didn’t feel real. When I saw her body, she looked exactly as I remembered her. Even seeing that, I felt nothing.

But when I held her ashes at the columbarium, tears suddenly came without warning.

I cried for a long time. Embarrassingly, in front of all the relatives.

After the funeral.

I returned to my rented room.

I hadn’t cried since the columbarium. Instead, a devilish thought bloomed deep in my heart: “Now I can finally live my own life.”

I sat down, overwhelmed with self-loathing, then went to school the next day. I submitted my re-enrollment application.

And then I found out.

I needed tuition. I looked into student loans, but I couldn’t get one.

It was because of my grades. I was a dunce. If I had known I couldn’t get loans, I would have studied harder.

I checked my bank account. I thought I’d have enough for at least one semester’s tuition.

Something was wrong.

I had worked for three years. Not just some café job, but two or three jobs at once. I sent more than 3 million won a month to my parents.

I sent as much as I could, breaking my body, thinking they would get back on their feet faster if I sent more money.

I didn’t know they would spend it all.

There was no tuition money.

As I was checking the Korea Scholarship Foundation website for options.

Right there on the main screen.

Student loans, living expenses: 31.3 million won.

That’s when reality hit me.

College junior.

Age 28.

Would graduate at 29.

And from a no-name university at that.

My face in the monitor looked haggard.

But even then, I still clung to a sliver of hope.

I was an orphan now. The news said we were a developed country, so I thought there would be some welfare support if I looked.

There was. But, because my father was still alive, I wasn’t considered an orphan. A father I couldn’t even contact. He didn’t even come to my mother’s funeral. That’s the law.

Maybe I could file a missing person report, or separate our family register. Surely there must be a way.

If I looked… yes, if I looked.

I was exhausted. To be honest. Let’s say I somehow managed to graduate by getting various government supports.

What would I have left?

A diploma at the cost of 40 million won in debt?

There was no future.

People live by dreaming.

Even without professional dreams.

Buying a house, or something you want. Living with those small dreams as motivation.

I had none of that. 40 million won. For some, it might not be an impossible debt to live with, but for me, it was too much.

I had a deep moment of reflection.

I wanted to die. I wanted to give up everything and let go.

But I didn’t have the courage for that either.

So, I became a hikikomori.

I would just lounge around, and when money ran out, I’d go back to loading and unloading jobs. This cycle repeated.

I played games and watched anime. Web novels, light novels. I didn’t discriminate against anything I could enjoy in my room.

It was escapism. I was running away from reality.

Then one day.

On my way to another loading job.

I collapsed.

I had a mysterious experience.

Though I was unconscious, I heard the doctor saying I had died from overwork.

That’s when I first learned you could die from overwork even just playing games.

Well, it wasn’t surprising.

Since my mother passed away, I hadn’t properly slept even once.

I had severe insomnia.

Closing my eyes was so painful that I stayed awake until my eyes closed on their own.

I repeatedly went without sleep for two days minimum, sometimes three.

That day too, I was heading to work after staying up for three nights straight.

I expected my health to deteriorate, but I never thought I would die.

When I thought everything was over.

Something completely unexpected happened.

A world I’d never seen before.

I had become someone else.

At first, I couldn’t believe it.

I wondered if this was really happening, or if I was dreaming.

But that didn’t last long.

Humans are adaptable creatures, and I grasped the reality.

I realized I had possessed a character in a web novel.

I recognized it immediately because it was a novel I read often.

A novel I had followed out of habit all the way to chapter 1000.

The title…

Maybe because I read so many similar ones, strangely, I can’t remember the title. But everything else is vivid.

The character I possessed was Ruide Christopher Windsor.

The youngest of the Windsor Duchy.

In the story, he was classified as “non-standard” and was the author-acknowledged number one in the world.

He actually had cheat-like abilities.

On the first day of possession, I was confident I could win even against a god.

But what I liked most of all.

He was rich.

And handsome.

But perhaps God thought he made him too perfect and felt self-conscious, so he created just one flaw.

He was small.

This seems to be what they call a “shota” character.

…I’ll grow soon, right?

That’s the only thing I’m looking forward to in this life.

Anyway.

I do know the story.

Who the mastermind is, who the main characters are, what they like, all of that.

I had the power to face the crises that would befall the protagonist, and the strength to resolve them, but.

“Yeah. You guys handle it.”

I don’t care.

I’ve become a wealthy unemployed person, why would I care about such things?

It’s much more productive to catch up on the sleep I missed in my past life.

——

Ruide opened his drowsy eyes.

After finishing writing, it seemed quite terrible.

“Let’s just sleep. Writing isn’t for me.”

Ruide gave up cleanly and threw the pen into the lake. He left the notebook. After all, he had written in Korean. No one could read it.

“Yaaawn.”

Ruide used the book he had been diligently writing in as a pillow and fell asleep.

It was truly a happy life.

He is 58000% satisfied with this life.

**

In the Windsor family, Ruide receives tremendous love.

The first and second children were girls, and only Ruide, the third, was a boy.

The Windsor family values ability, so there’s no discrimination in heir appointment based on gender.

But perhaps because the current head of the Windsor family is a Duchess, her love for her son was particularly strong.

Even she, known as the Iron Duchess of the North, was infinitely merciful before Ruide.

Normally in the Windsor family, if such a lazy good-for-nothing were born, life would naturally become difficult, but Ruide was pampered.

Of course, that was also because Ruide was an unparalleled genius. Effort is an action taken to gain ability. If one already has that ability, there’s no point in demanding effort.

But here.

The second daughter of the Windsor family, Amelia Windsor, thought a little differently.

“He’s probably sleeping again.”

The weather was nice.

He was undoubtedly leisurely napping at Dellin’s Lake again.

It was behavior impossible to believe from an Academy freshman.

“He’s been spoiled too much.”

Amelia had many concerns.

While she cared for Ruide just as much as everyone else.

…This was going too far.

Her brother was lazy, far too lazy.

Thinking that he might not make a single friend at this rate worried her greatly.

Amelia resolved that this time, she would fix Ruide’s rotten attitude from the ground up.

“Ruide!”

As expected, he was sleeping by the lake.

“…This kid, without even a blanket.”

Amelia sighed softly and approached Ruide.

A boy with a small build.

Soft golden hair tickled his fair skin.

Amelia stared at her brother, forgetting she had come to scold him.

…He’s cute.

Her determination to scold him thoroughly… her determination.

It melted away.

Amelia crouched down and spoke gently.

“Rui. Wake up.”

“…Hmm?”

Ruide rubbed his eyes and got up.

“Why is Ame sis here?”

It had been a year since the possession.

He had already sorted out casual family titles and such.

“What did I tell you?”

“Um…”

Ruide yawned and said.

“You called my name…?”

“Not that!”

“Then.”

Ruide seemed to be thinking hard, then nodded off, his head bobbing.

Amelia wore an incredulous expression.

But.

“Well… never mind.”

Amelia smiled kindly and stroked Ruide’s head.

“As long as you’re healthy.”

She stood up.

And walked away with a satisfied expression.

Leaving Dellin’s Forest.

She paused.

Amelia stopped walking and looked back.

“…I came back without saying anything again.”

This was her eighth failure.