Ch.1The Fleeing Groundskeeper NPC (1)

The only good goblin is a dead goblin.

This seemingly familiar quote popped into my head the moment the back of my head started throbbing from a goblin’s attack from behind.

“Damn it…!!”

I don’t know why my body suddenly wouldn’t move. I knew the goblin was rushing at me from behind, yet I stupidly allowed myself to be ambushed. I twisted my body, kicking the face of the creature that was laughing at having struck me, completely crushing it before falling to the ground in a controlled landing.

“Ah. My head hurts. Damn it.”

How many years has it been since I last allowed a goblin to get the first hit on me? I can’t even remember, but it doesn’t matter.

After all, my body wasn’t ‘designed’ to fall to a mere goblin’s attack.

“…Huh? Designed?”

Strange memories and thoughts suddenly surfaced, making my head hurt even more.

Could it be? Did the goblin crack my skull?

That can’t be right, can it? My head, which has taken direct hits from a troll’s club, couldn’t possibly be cracked by a goblin’s fist…

[-Occupation: Mountain Keeper NPC- Level: 300 Name: Jack. Age: 15.]

[Strength: 50+?]

[Dexterity: 40+?]

[Intelligence: 3+?]

[Luck: -30+??]

[HP: 300,000+???]

[MP: 0+0]

[Skill: Mountain Manager]

[Mountain Manager Effect: All stats slightly increase within the mountain you manage.]

[Mountain Currently Managing: -Ponia-]

“…What the fuck?”

I couldn’t help but curse at the strange blue window that appeared before me—something I’d never seen until just now. No, something I’d never seen in my entire life.

As my headache intensified, I fell to my knees.

Level. Mountain Keeper. Ponia. What the hell is all this?

No, wait. Ponia? The Ponia of the Eight Continents…?! What the…!!!

In that moment, as memories flooded chaotically through my mind, I couldn’t hold back the stream of curses.

But I never got the satisfaction of spitting those curses out.

Because.

“…Ah, I… need to go… home…”

-Thud.

The overwhelming backflow of memories shook my consciousness more violently than the goblin’s blow, causing me to pass out right there.

*

I see someone moving their fingers rapidly in front of a bright screen.

“Wow. No update this week either. Fucking dead game.”

Somehow, the words “The only thing that’s fucked is your life” rose to my throat, but never made it past my lips.

It’s not that I was holding back; it seems I don’t have a throat at all.

“Fuck this. How long has it been since the Celestial episode came out, and still no update? Have these bastards abandoned the game without even balancing it?”

If they abandoned the game, maybe you should abandon it too. Somehow that thought crossed my mind again, but it didn’t come out either.

“Sigh. Fuck, I should go to my part-time job.”

The human, whose gender I couldn’t determine, left without turning off the screen. Part-time job… probably an activity to earn money.

A shitty life working for minimum wage. Why would such a thought pop into my head?

And even after they left, I continued to stare at the scene.

What is this situation? I am Jack. Jack, the mountain keeper of Ponia Mountain.

I clearly recognize myself as someone who has a little sister to raise and protect. Yet this situation seems to be trying to remind me of something, as if I need to know this.

As I continued watching without understanding the meaning, I began to see the glowing screen moving on its own.

And then.

ep.4 Ponia, the Land Where Despair Began.

The moment the screen suddenly changed and those words appeared, I opened my eyes.

*

“Ptui, ptui. Damn it.”

The first thing out of my mouth upon waking was a curse filled with irritation. That scene just now was clearly a “past life memory” by anyone’s standards.

“…Past life. Don’t tell me I reincarnated into a game? How? Did I die?”

I spit out the sand that had gotten into my mouth as I fell forward. The monsters—the goblins I had already killed—were all gone, transformed into magic stones scattered on the ground.

I picked them all up and quickly came to a conclusion after thinking it through.

“…Let’s run away first. This isn’t right.”

The situation I’m experiencing now. My current state. If this is truly reincarnation, then there’s no solution.

Running away is definitely the right answer. The reason is…

“…A map that gets destroyed before the crazy tutorial even begins? There are limits to absurdity.”

Moreover, this mountain I protect and the village of Ponia are hopeless garbage. If I stay here, my sister…

No. My sister will definitely die.

“…Fuck it. I’ve decided.”

That day, I decided to live a new shitty life.

Let’s go back to being unemployed first.

*

[-Occupation: Mountain Keeper NPC- Level: 300 Name: Jack. Age: 15.]

[Strength: 50+?]

[Dexterity: 40+?]

[Intelligence: 3+?]

[Luck: -30+??]

[HP: 300,000+???]

[MP: 0+0]

[Skill: Mountain Manager]

[Mountain Manager Effect: All stats slightly increase within the mountain you manage.]

[Mountain Currently Managing: -Ponia-]

“Please go away, for God’s sake.”

The status window in front of me wouldn’t disappear no matter what I called it—”status window,” “stats,” or whatever—and I couldn’t click on it either.

In other words, it was annoyingly blocking my view, though somehow when I told it to go away, it would move to the upper diagonal of my head. But it would soon return right in front of my face, which was irritating.

As soon as I decided to become unemployed, I headed to the village. Our house is a cabin in the mountains, and my sister and I live there.

My father was the mountain keeper, and now I am too.

To be honest, I don’t really care about that situation itself. Even though I’ve recalled my past life memories, my sister and I were getting along fine in our home.

The real problem is…

“I’m quitting as mountain keeper.”

“What?”

“…Are you crazy?”

The village itself is the problem.

Jollyleaf Village, which didn’t exist in the game. This is also what made me the angriest when my past life memories surfaced.

It’s a village doomed to destruction anyway, but I’ve already suffered too much for too long.

“Hey. Just hand over the magic stones and go home instead of talking nonsense.”

“Why should I give the magic stones to you?”

“What?”

“Hey, this kid has really lost his mind, hasn’t he?”

Two thugs calling themselves village guards. These trash have been giving me 800 can—equivalent to about 8,000 Korean won—per week as compensation for being the mountain keeper.

The three goblin magic stones I brought are worth 300 can, but they take all of it for themselves, stealing the money meant for me as the mountain keeper.

“…Sigh. Was it because my intelligence is a pathetic 3 that I didn’t realize I was being cheated all this time? Or was I just an idiot?”

Either way, it’s an extremely annoying and infuriating situation.

My father passed away exactly three years ago.

Which means these guys have been giving me ridiculously low compensation since then, exploiting me while I was ignorant, and even taking all the magic stones I hunted.

“One goblin magic stone is worth 100 can. Three stones make 300 can. If you take these and I only get 800 can per week, what am I supposed to live on? Don’t you have families? I live with my little sister—do you want to steal from us?”

“What?”

“…Hey, where did this kid pick up this information?”

This is ridiculous. The two thugs, not even trying to hide their intentions, twisted their faces in annoyance and reached out to snatch the pouch of magic stones I was holding. I easily dodged them.

[Villager: Level 15]

[Villager: Level 12]

The status window in front of me doesn’t show their stats, but it does display their levels.

It doesn’t even show their names, and they’re just labeled as villagers, not guards.

Their levels are even below 10—lower than NPCs in a starting village in the game?

“Oh? You’re dodging?”

“Hey. We’ll give you 1000 can from now on. Hand over the magic stones and get lost.”

“Doesn’t everyone in this village, including the village head, know about this? And how am I supposed to live for a week on 1000 can?”

“You’ve been living just fine until now, so why are you suddenly acting up? Did you hear something somewhere? Do you want to get beaten up?”

He asked if I wanted to get beaten up, but why is his fist already flying toward me? What terrible personalities.

Well, until now, I just took their punches when they hit me. When I asked them to share some food because my sister was hungry, all I got was insults about being a young beggar who doesn’t work.

I slightly twisted my body to avoid his punch and looked around.

People from the village had gathered, drawn by the commotion the two were making.

This is ridiculous.

Some of them are smirking, clearly wanting to see me get hit. What was my father thinking, volunteering to be the mountain keeper for a village like this? And what was I doing all this time?

“Huh? This kid dodged again?”

“Stop calling me ‘kid,’ you idiot.”

“What?!”

“Hey. This isn’t working. Let’s teach this kid a proper lesson today.”

They approach me, cracking their knuckles, apparently still thinking they can win despite seeing me easily dodge their punches.

Alright. I’ve recalled my past life memories. I’m level 300. Let’s have some satisfying payback.

“Gentlemen. Which hand do you hold a spoon with?”

“What?”

“What is this idiot talking about?”

The two look at each other in confusion at my question, and I smile as I continue.

“Well, you’ll need to know how to hold a spoon if you’re going to be eating porridge from now on.”

And with that, I charged at these idiots who didn’t even understand what I was saying, transforming them into popcorn machines.