Ch.199Ignition (4)

Crunch, crunch-.

The sound of footsteps in the snow was somewhat poignant.

The girl decided to be honest with herself.

Only after confronting her darkest self.

“Miss Neria.”

“I told you I’d be fine.”

Back then, the boy had protected her, but this time it was her own responsibility.

Neria stretched out her arms and embraced the girl before her.

She naturally withdrew the dagger with her hand.

As if pleading, don’t do this.

She whispered into her ear.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Things found from happy, cozy memories.

A single phrase gathered from those stories.

About you, whom I’ve been avoiding.

And about me.

“You… are no longer alone.”

Thump-thump-.

Now she could feel her heartbeat.

Beyond the starlight hidden by festering wounds, her true self had been concealed.

The girl in her arms slowly, carefully looked up at Neria.

By now, the girl had taken on the appearance of a child about ten years old.

Exactly the age when she was taken in by the monarch.

“Really…?”

The girl asked.

With trembling lips and eyes holding back tears.

Even that desolation was nothing but touching.

“Yes, really.”

Neria nodded.

A faint smile seeped into the corners of her mouth.

“Because now you have everyone.”

“Don’t they all hate me?”

“Not at all. They absolutely won’t.”

“But… what if I ruin everything again? Like the monarch’s prophecy.”

“Ignore such nonsense. No one can carelessly speak of another’s future or destiny.”

“But it hurt… the world has always made us lonely and miserable.”

“That’s okay. Even in such suffering, we’ve found a home to return to.”

“Home…?”

“Yes, home.”

Now she understood what the boy had meant.

Because she knew the kindness beyond the world, winter, and wounds.

In her pupils with fallen fortune, pure white was sparkling.

Neria cried.

“A place that always welcomes me, lets me rest when I’m tired, and where I can always return to… my many homes.”

One child had too many homes.

The mansion where she lived in the past, and the headquarters where she currently stays.

Astro, which had steadily built up power since its founding.

Lord Kyle, who treated her with familiarity.

The members who showed subtle respect.

And finally, the master who had saved her.

Because all of them existed, the girl could live despite carrying her wounds.

Therefore, all those names were home to Neria.

“You know.”

Even the fate that tormented me was a home I could return to.

This vast world was entirely my home all along.

Neria squeezed her sobbing throat.

“All this time… I hated you so much.”

I was always afraid.

What if I lost control someday and everything fell apart?

What if I ended up alone again, standing in that desolate field?

The more precious those around me became, the greater my fear grew.

So day by day, I hated you, hated myself more.

“Maybe I lacked the courage to love you…”

Battered and broken.

Every night, I stabbed my heart with another knife.

That’s how I kept killing myself, killing my heart.

But that was wrong.

“I wanted you to disappear. I wanted you to die. Yet I still wanted to remain beside the people I cherish. I wanted to believe in the word ‘happiness.’ I hated even these contradictory feelings.”

That was her most wretched self.

And also her most painful self.

“I’m sorry.”

A confession fading away.

Neria naturally found herself thinking of someone.

The boy who had embraced her when she was crying in this winter.

It was entirely thanks to him that she could face her past here now.

Judas Snakus. Neria gathered courage from that small resonance and opened her mouth.

The lump that had been bottled up for so long.

The voice of apology, of saying sorry.

“Though I’ve always only hated you, still…”

Still.

Her throat choked especially on that pronunciation.

But the girl no longer hesitated.

“…Still, will you forgive me?”

A line of moisture traced across her cheek.

Neria, holding the small body tightly, asked for forgiveness.

With warm body heat in her arms and the scent of winter at the tip of her nose.

The silver-haired girl couldn’t hold back her sobs.

Whoosh-.

Silence fell with the tranquil wind.

However, the small girl was simply smiling brightly.

Even after crying just moments before, the child had regained her smile.

With hands like small ferns, she hugged Neria back.

Not long after.

“Yes…!”

A voice wet with tears was heard.

Then, from the girl’s body, a light began to rise up, creeping slowly.

Still, Neria didn’t loosen her arms. As if she would never let go again.

The silhouette, dyed in vivid white, soon shattered delicately.

Crash-.

“Thank you.”

“For saying sorry to me.”

“For forgiving me… and yourself.”

The small girl shattering.

The vaguely scattered fragments soon became particles of fine light.

And then, they fluttered around Neria before settling down.

That sparkling light seeped into her tender chest.

Only a childish whisper melted into her ear.

“I hope you’ll be happy.”

Remnants scattering into countless pieces.

Though she couldn’t see the face, Neria was certain the girl was smiling.

Otherwise, the light that had seeped into her heart couldn’t have been so warm.

Thump-thump-. An unfamiliar energy breathed in her still-beating heart.

Neria leaned into that resonance as if it were precious.

And she murmured again.

“Yes… I definitely will.”

This was a handshake extended to her painful former self.

A small tribute to the boyhood she had hated but could never cut away.

At the same time, it was a pledge to finally be happy and a promise for the girl.

The falling tears were exceptionally hot.

“I…”

Whoosh!

Light illuminating the winter brightly.

A star originating from the girl.

What had always been hateful no longer wavered.

The girl silently and eternally accepted her own light.

She had finally come to love her own darkness… which had been long and enduring.

Only clarity spread across her silver eyes.

“Because I’m not alone anymore.”

Neria Lightny.

Called in the original work, the Lamplighter (Allumer de Reverbere).

Light had finally entered the street lamp that had always hesitated to shine.

Starlight burning through the deep dawn.

***

Neria opened her eyes.

Beyond her clear vision was the city, still covered in pitch darkness.

A gloomy ceiling without even a hint of light source.

The girl’s steps remained in the middle of the night.

Her calm gaze penetrated through the space.

“……”

Suddenly, something caught her eye.

Standing close by was a blood-red woman.

Unlike her previously composed appearance, her expression was now filled with bewilderment.

The firmly imposed restrictions had been lifted, and her original starlight flowed out.

The presence, strong enough to make her whole body tingle, made the night tense.

The dawn keeper let out a cry close to a scream.

“How, what’s happening to you!”

Mumbling noise.

But even that held no particular meaning for Neria.

She was simply immersed in the comfort of starlight.

Soon, she clenched her fist, neither hurriedly nor leisurely.

Pure white surged in her tightly gripped hand.

‘It’s warm.’

Neria thought inadvertently.

The light that had always felt hot was actually this cozy.

The light didn’t hurt. It wasn’t irritating or frightening.

Perhaps it was because she had embraced her own pain.

She blinked.

“Will you forgive me?”

She drew up the star.

The sensation enveloping her entire body for the first time in nearly four years.

However, the girl was neither overwhelmed nor powerless.

The radiance was conducted through the dagger.

Whoosh!

She captured the wave of stars.

She melted into the chorus.

The snow-white light didn’t burn the surroundings.

It simply cut through the darkness and incinerated the sunken malice.

Like a star proudly rising in the night sky.

“Child full of all malice.”

“You were born with the fate of misfortune, so you will surely burn everything around you to white.”

“Please do not hope for happiness from the outside world.”

She no longer wanted to be swayed by that prophecy.

What kind of star she would become, what kind of light she would be, was up to her.

Neria didn’t want to think of herself as a monster.

She wanted to wish for her own happiness.

So, she extended her fist.

“Ah.”

The dawn keeper let out a stupid exclamation.

The gently swung fist drew a line like a shooting star.

The next moment, the flashing light had pierced through the woman’s heart.

The light that extended afterward crossed the underground city.

It brightened the sky.

“…Kuk!”

It was a beautiful scene.

The moment darkness turned to light, and despair transformed into hope.

The opening of the star shattered the black background into pieces.

In the fluttering fragments, the girl was not alone.

Because the radiance, close to pure white, was with her.

“I did it…”

Neria was illuminating the dawn.