Ch.197Chapter 197: The Truth Revealed (2)

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Following the goddess Lux’s invitation to ask anything, I posed one of my biggest questions that had been lingering since meeting her.

I expected the goddess to be at least somewhat flustered by my question.

There was no particular reason for this expectation.

It’s just that when engaging in a question-and-answer dialogue with someone, I’ve often seen people become startled when I skip the pleasantries and get straight to the point.

Like when I caught a client trying to overcharge a seemingly naive newcomer, and I immediately cut to the chase, completely draining their confidence.

Or when I interrupted a demon lord who was always desperate to show off their twisted aesthetic sense with unnecessarily long-winded speeches, and got straight to my point.

Even the demon lord Desire—a being whom ordinary denizens of the magical realm would consider it blasphemous to even look in the eye—seemed momentarily stunned despite being shrouded in pitch-black mist.

I was absolutely certain that this goddess, who had obscured her appearance with divine energy, would show some distinct reaction to my somewhat impolite question.

But as if determined to betray my expectations…

What reached my ears wasn’t a voice shaken by surprise.

“Hehe.”

It was the goddess’s warm, gentle laughter.

I felt slightly deflated by her reaction, which suggested she had anticipated my question all along.

“While it’s true that my duty is to observe countless possibilities and timelines…”

The goddess, speaking in her consistently warm voice about something only she seemed to understand, cleared her throat with a small “ahem” and continued:

“You always ask this question first when facing similar situations. I should be used to it by now, but I can’t help laughing when I hear it.”

My nerves immediately stood on edge when I heard these casual words that couldn’t simply be ignored.

…What is she saying?

“Similar… situations?”

I unconsciously murmured the strangest part of what Lux had just said.

“Yes. Though we haven’t met many times like this, whenever you first encounter me and begin this kind of question-and-answer dialogue, you always say something like this.”

I could hear her emphasizing each word in her voice that had previously sounded only gentle, confirming I hadn’t misheard.

“Excuse me.”

“I’m listening, so take your time.”

“This is the first time I’ve met you.”

“That’s something you’ve said quite a few times, though not as often as your first question.”

…Seriously, what is she talking about?

My mind became increasingly confused as I watched the goddess happily referencing things only she seemed to understand. I wondered if I had ever been this bewildered in my entire life.

And understandably so.

When I felt my body turning to ash and crumbling away, trying to finish my life wishing happiness for my precious person—

And even after experiencing a miracle that transcended time—I was extremely shocked.

But now, the goddess who suddenly appeared before me was suggesting that I might have had similar experiences multiple times.

If I weren’t surprised by this, I would be no different from a being incapable of feeling emotions.

“Hmm. I can see various emotions reflected in your expression. Exactly as I expected.”

The goddess’s voice, reading my expression as I fell silent in contemplation, remained warm but now carried something additional.

Or was it just one thing?

At first glance, it seemed overflowing with playfulness.

But listening more carefully, I could detect concern peeking through beneath the playful tone.

So perhaps it wasn’t just one emotion after all.

What could this goddess know about me that even I didn’t know, to show such familiarity?

Why would she so readily speak words containing facts that would astonish me?

Why would she subtly reveal such contrasting emotions as playfulness and concern?

If time permitted, I could have continued these thoughts for hours, standing right there.

“Well then.”

The goddess’s brief words gently settled in my ears, cutting short my desperate attempt to organize my thoughts.

“Rather than explaining with words, perhaps it would be faster for you to see, hear, and feel it directly. What do you think?”

I silently nodded at the goddess’s question, which seemed to be seeking my agreement.

The goddess’s blurred form, having approached me without my noticing, now filled my vision.

Though she concealed her body with some transcendental power—

Compared to the twisted divinity used by that terrible demon lord dwelling in the obsidian palace in the far northern corner, far from my homeland—

The divine energy that hazily revealed this goddess’s form didn’t demand anything from me.

It seemed to whisper to me:

Be at ease.

Though insufficient to heal my body and mind exhausted from the recent fierce battle, take at least minimal comfort from this.

Just like that.

As I relaxed, intoxicated by the warmth of the divine energy surrounding the goddess, her blurred hand came to rest on my head.

“Please close your eyes.”

From this being wrapped in divine energy and transcendental dignity came words of respect directed at me, a mere human.

At the goddess’s request, which was almost like a plea, I gently closed my eyes.

“From now on, before your eyes will unfold the life trajectories of countless Cal Lanos who are both you and not you.”

As the goddess kindly informed me of what was about to happen—

Though my eyes were closed and everything should have appeared dark, my senses began to observe something.

Not seeing with my eyes, but like impressions being branded into my mind, I saw myself in these visions.

Though clearly having my appearance, I was witnessing myself doing things I had no memory of.

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It was simply amazing.

Despite having my eyes closed, it felt like they were open as impressions of lives—mine yet not mine—were branded into my mind.

Countless “me”s, recognizably myself at a glance.

One by one, they lived out things I could only imagine in my current state, forging new life paths that drew involuntary admiration from me, who had lived such a wretched life before my regression.

This was true whether they lived what I considered excellent lives.

Or whether they lived lives so ruined that my pre-regression state would have been preferable.

It might seem strange that I felt the same admiration watching myself live such polar opposite lives, but I’ll explain that reason slowly.

For now, I’ll just mention two representative, contrasting life trajectories I observed.

In one, I never suffered from the “broken vessel” curse that tormented me as a child, allowing me to perfectly master the swordsmanship I had only ever thought about in my head, building my martial reputation.

Before even reaching adulthood, I became the owner of the ancestral holy sword that appeared slicing through the air.

I systematically hunted down the beings from the demon realm who inevitably began their activities at the moment I remembered.

Finally, after the Great Holy War, I successfully banished the demon lord Desire—the only one remaining who struggled to turn this land into his twisted utopia.

For this achievement, I was evaluated as having surpassed the accomplishments of my ancestor, the founder of our family and the epitome of heroism.

When the image of myself living a happy daily life with my precious person entered my mind—

Though not looking in a mirror, I could feel my lips forming a gentle curve.

It was once a scene I couldn’t even dream of.

And still a distant scene for my current self.

But seeing another version of myself who had achieved the accomplishments and happiness I couldn’t reach—

I felt a strange satisfaction, which naturally drew that curve on my lips.

If there was one regrettable point, it was that such a happy “me” was almost… no, completely nonexistent apart from this one instance.

Feeling that regret, I searched through the memories entering my mind like browsing a library index, looking for memories better than or at least as happy as this one.

But just as I confirmed that none compared to this level and my regret began to grow—

As if the other memories were dissatisfied with my attitude of seeking only happy versions of “me”—

An unhappiness that overturned the happiness I had just observed was clearly branded into my mind.

Unlike the happy “me” memory that felt somewhat unfamiliar despite my satisfaction—

This memory was quite familiar.

Because it involved experiences similar to what I had gone through since childhood.

A boy suffering from being a “broken vessel”—experiencing excruciating pain throughout his body just from practicing breathing techniques that could turn ordinary people into superhumans.

Yet despite this, he didn’t give up on his dreams and continued his difficult journey.

As he gradually aged but his circumstances remained unchanged, he despaired.

He became a being stained with inferiority complexes, inflicting indelible wounds on those around him—almost identical to my pre-regression state.

Wondering if there were any differences, I carefully continued exploring the memory without neglecting any details.

A moment of divergence from my past self, which had proceeded almost identically, occurred.

It was at the moment of becoming an agent—a choice that wasn’t really a choice—for a being I still find extremely uncomfortable to mention.

It might be considered a minor difference in some ways.

But the resulting divergence was so great that it absolutely couldn’t be called minor.

Well, despite saying all this, the beginning of the divergence wasn’t particularly grand.

In my pre-regression life, I carried a dying Siz on my back while being chased by demon realm beings, moved her to safety, and then essentially chose death by throwing myself at the demon realm beings who were desperately searching for her, whereupon I was hastily made an agent.

In this unhappy memory, I became an agent after succumbing to the demon lord’s threat, who took Siz hostage and demanded my obedience if I wanted to save her.

When you think about it, both choices stemmed from the same root—decisions made to protect Siz.

…Though the resulting difference was so severe that even my pre-regression life seemed preferable by comparison.

At least the fact that I didn’t spare my own life for my precious person remained consistent between my pre-regression self and the self in that memory.

“…So it really was me.”

With my eyes still closed, I calmly uttered these words filled with bitter sentiment.

I had to acknowledge it.

The protagonist who made me express such bitter sentiments was indeed—

Another version of myself who had suddenly revealed his presence before me earlier—

Causing me indescribable discomfort and unpleasantness, making me inwardly question if I could really become so ugly, showing only a distorted appearance.

No matter how ugly and distorted—

I realized that underneath was my sacrifice, willingly accepting a situation where I might suffer for the sake of my precious person.

So even as I faced countless versions of myself endlessly delving into my mind—

I didn’t deny them but simply admired and accepted them with quiet admiration.

That was true before my regression.

And it remains true now, having been given this new opportunity through regression.

If a situation similar to those memories were to arise—

I could give up everything for you at any time.

As I deeply engraved this unwavering determination in my heart regardless of what scenes I witnessed—

Thump-!!

My heart, which must function in any living body—

Thump-!!

And the transcendental organ recently implanted in my body—

Both pounded in unison, creating a pleasant harmony that calmed my mind just by hearing it.

As if blessing my decision.