Ch.192Revelation (6)

Kain whispered quietly but firmly. He had no intention of simply accepting the crumbling emotions flowing down.

While offering a hand to help someone stand, one must also pull with some force for them to rise.

“You said you’ve returned to where you started. To the place you hated most and wanted to leave. You must be afraid of going through everything you’ve experienced again, afraid the outcome will be the same. It might seem like you can never escape.”

“…Yes.”

“You’re right. It’s all true. Everything will repeat itself, and the tedious flow will continue once more. Even I can clearly see that sitting here.”

Kain could hear Lily’s breathing becoming rough. But his words weren’t finished.

“But some things have changed. You already know this.”

“…I’m not sure.”

“The noble person speaking with me. You.”

Lily’s breathing quickened. There was also the sound of her shifting her body.

“You’ve had experiences you never felt when you were in that house full of sadness and pain. You’ve had many joyful moments, but you’ve also suffered greatly.

You’ve eaten things you’d want to spit out and rinse your mouth with alcohol afterward, and you’ve eaten things so delicious you resented feeling full.

You might have met your lifelong enemy, but you might have also met someone you want to be with forever. You’ve seen people who are quite nice if you keep a proper distance, and you’ve seen insufferable snobs.

You’ve seen the world and returned here. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Is it exactly the same as before?”

“…No. It wasn’t. Until I left, this place was my entire world. But after seeing the wider world, I can see how this is just a narrow mountaintop.”

“You see? You’ve changed, noble one. The mountain couldn’t have gotten smaller, could it?”

A giggle came through, though it was over something trivial. Kain could vividly imagine what expression she might be wearing.

“Trust me. Things will definitely change. As much as you want them to. I don’t know what decisions you’ll make from now on.

But it will certainly be different from before. Because you’ve changed, the world will change too. You have that power. The power to change everything for the better.”

“How do you know that?” Lily’s voice finally carried doubt and bewilderment.

“Because I’ve changed.”

The wall shook.

It was called a wall, but in reality, it was no different from a thin wooden board. If pushed with force, it could easily be broken. Kain stood up abruptly and leaned against the wall.

“Kairos…? Kairos?”

“It’s me. Liliana.”

The partition cloth rustled. A white, rough hand appeared. Kain took that hand firmly with his left hand as it anxiously felt around.

“It’s me.”

“What is this…”

Crying could be heard from beyond the wall. Muffled crying.

“What is this all about… Are you… are you playing with me? What is all this…”

“I missed you.”

“You’re there, right? You’re really… there?”

Lily’s hand squeezed painfully tight. It hurt, but he didn’t want to let go. Instead, he knelt down and gently pressed his cheek against the back of her hand.

“Yes.”

Lily released his hand. Two hands came through the narrow gap and caressed Kain’s face.

“Didn’t Maria tell you?”

“She just told me to go to the far right. There were too many people… I came just in case, but I thought it wasn’t you. Why did you do that? Didn’t you know it was me?”

Kain didn’t answer. He just held her hand tightly and brought it close to his face. White, elongated, rough, and covered with scars and calluses. But warm.

“I’m sorry. I was late.”

“But you came. You’re there… That’s enough. That’s…”

He wanted to remove the partition cloth somehow, but it was cleverly attached and impossible to pull away. There was enough space for hands but not enough to see faces. Lily whispered in frustration.

“Please, give me your hand… at least your hand…”

Since he couldn’t give his right hand, Kain only offered his left. Something wet and hot touched it. Her lips.

“Your right hand too, please, your right hand too…” Lily panted.

“Ah, my right hand is a bit…”

“Why? Don’t tell me… don’t tell me you’re hurt?”

“It’s nothing major. Just a little…”

“Let me see!”

The partition wall crackled and split. At this rate, she seemed ready to smash it. Kain reluctantly extended his right hand, wrapped in bandages.

“It’s not a serious injury,” Kain tried to explain. “It doesn’t even hurt that much…”

“After coming late…”

Lily’s voice was hard.

“You came late, teased me, and even got yourself hurt. Why are you like this, like a child left by the riverside… why do you keep making people anxious…”

Kain was about to say that no matter what, he was her superior and not something to worry about. But he forgot what he was going to say due to a subtle sensation. The sound of something gently hitting the wall, the rustling of clothes, and a sweet scent spread.

Something covered his right hand. At the same time, something soft was caught in his palm. When he instinctively tried to grasp it, it pushed his hand back slightly, as if inviting him to take more. Even though the sensation was dulled by the bandages.

Wondering what this was, Kain peeked through the gap in the partition. His face turned red, and he turned his head away. But no matter how much he blinked, the afterimage wouldn’t fade.

Lily was holding Kain’s right hand tightly. She had lifted her top and placed his hand against her belly, cradling it warmly.

“Don’t be hurt. I’ll scold you if you are.”

But her voice still had the tone of scolding a child.

“…I understand. I’ll come early.”

“When will you come?”

“I’ll go tomorrow. High Executor Astrid promised. She said she’d let me look through the old documents.”

There was a commotion outside the door. It sounded like grumbling about why this was taking so long.

“I have to go. You’ll really come tomorrow, right?”

“Yes. If I’m not there, it means I’ve been kicked out…”

“Then climb over the castle wall. Just try not to come.”

Kain pulled his hand back. Lily cleared her throat with a “hmm, hmm” and spoke a little louder so it could be heard outside.

“Thank you.”

“I’m not sure if I was helpful.”

“Thanks to you, it helped a lot. For anything else… I couldn’t figure out, please grant me mercy.”

It was the prayer marking the end of the confession ritual.

Now it was Kain’s turn to take on the role of the priest. Of course, it was an uncomfortable task, but thinking, ‘God will forgive this. If not, there’s nothing I can do,’ he recited the prayer of absolution.

“The Prophet of Death and Life has sent me to reconnect you with the world, so I advise you to return and rest comfortably under the wings of glory.”

He heard Lily stand up. The door opened and then quietly closed.

Before the next person entered, Kain quickly removed the partition cloth and left the room. That way, when the next person came in, they would notice there was no priest.

* * * * *

The service began. Kain saw Lily entering the chapel. Since it was small inside, others prayed in the open space in front of the chapel.

Meanwhile, the villagers were busy preparing for business. They had already attended service the previous evening, and Sunday was market day for the gathered visitors.

Kain also helped with the business preparations. Maria passed by with an “Ahem.” Kain slipped away appropriately and followed her. They walked side by side toward a quiet warehouse a little distance from the chapel.

“What did you two do?”

“…What?” Kain was taken aback.

“What do you mean ‘what’? What did you two do in that confessional? Wasn’t it nice to see each other after a long time? Hey, look at your red face.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Maria poked Kain in the side.

“Don’t you get punished for doing that kind of thing in a temple?”

“No. We just talked a bit… There wasn’t anything like what you’re thinking.”

“Sometimes you seem more like a cleric than I do,” Maria sighed as if deflated. “So, what are you going to do tomorrow?”

“First, I need to visit. High Executor Astrid made a promise, so she’ll let us into the castle. But since we don’t know the details of the situation inside, I’m not sure exactly what will happen. I can only prepare for the best and worst scenarios.”

“What’s the best case?”

“Finding information about Laios and Ismene. Then we might also learn who gave them the ‘revelation.'”

“And the worst case?”

“Either Laios was bluffing, or there are no records, or we can’t find them. Valhalla is different from Imperial cities. It’s completely a military camp. But what worries me now isn’t the best or worst case.”

Kain looked at the castle. He didn’t mention that he was worried about Lily. Lily clearly hadn’t told him everything.

And it seemed that even Lily herself was struggling to accept the current situation, unable to decide what to do next.

He wondered if there was any connection to the tournament being repeatedly postponed, but there was too little information to come up with anything substantial.

But he couldn’t just leave things as they were. It wasn’t simply because Lily was precious to him. If it hadn’t been for the duel with Lily, if she hadn’t taught him so harshly, he wouldn’t have learned how to survive or how to deal with the Shadow.

The regulation that personal feelings shouldn’t interfere between agents suddenly came to mind, but Kain crushed it under his foot. He was quitting anyway.

Kain smiled bitterly. He had violated regulations, and Maria was still active despite her duties being suspended.

Rules and regulations are like safety lines. They restrict good deeds, but they also prevent things from getting worse, going wrong, or becoming dangerous.

‘Even the Seven Heroes wouldn’t have gone berserk from the beginning.’

He hadn’t met Günther of the Patience yet, but at least the other six hadn’t crossed boundaries to become heroes.

Kain thought of the White Blood fortress and warrior discipline. Shackles that gave much to a woman’s life but also took away cruelly and harshly.

Perhaps the Empire and the Order weren’t much different. Hadn’t the Order, including Venelucia, committed many incomprehensible, illegal acts?

‘If I overlook these small things one by one, will I become like them?’

Kain recalled what he had said to Lily. That even if situations repeat similarly, if I have changed, everything will change.

The results of change can be good or bad. Yet people must bear those results and continue living. It’s like an inherently unfair game. I, participating in the game, can only see half the cards, but the spectators watching can see all the cards.

‘How different am I from them?’

The next day, at the fortress of Valhalla, Kain would find out.