Ch.19263. My One and Only Confidant (2)

“Will I never be able to truly befriend the spirits, Geornia?”

Kariel was dressed in simple everyday clothes that also served as practical attire—a plain top and pants.

The deeper one went into the castle, the more elaborate the clothing became, but the further away from the castle, the simpler the attire.

Clothing was essentially an ornament that proved one’s status.

These elves didn’t adorn themselves with gold or jewels for ostentation and vanity like humans did.

Even wearing accessories required a specific reason, and each held meaning.

They were more fastidious about etiquette than humans, and their protocols were so complex that humans could never fully grasp them.

This created yet another divide between the races.

In some ways, human etiquette could be said to have been influenced by elves… but for elves, it wasn’t about being bound by formalities—they embedded meaning into the forms themselves.

The exception would be someone who was granted the qualification to be respected despite not following these customs.

In that sense, Kariel was a human without such special qualification.

The fact that he could have private audiences with Geornia so frequently was likely because, even though she was a High Elf, she was an exceptional being.

Also, to make excuses, it was because he carried the title of advisor and teacher to the Empress and all nine heroes, including her.

“Humans naturally cannot befriend spirits. That’s normal.”

Her silver-like hair and emerald eyes were breathtakingly beautiful.

It’s no exaggeration to say that elves surpass humans in appearance, but that doesn’t mean all of them are exceptionally handsome or beautiful.

Nevertheless, Geornia certainly embodied considerable beauty even by human aesthetic standards.

Though her outward appearance seemed young by human standards, she looked much older than Kariel, who was moving around the laboratory, examining his surroundings.

Even in height, Kariel was shorter than her.

“And it seems the spirits have little desire to linger around you.”

“I’ve been here for about half a year, but they still haven’t developed any curiosity about me?”

“Rather, it’s precisely because they know about you that they avoid approaching you even more.”

The child of a hero and a saint.

At first glance, one might think there couldn’t be anyone more noble and precious.

But why?

…Those with good eyes or intuition tend to strangely fear him or find him unsettling.

If he were dealing with humans, they would quickly open their hearts to his bright smile and likable demeanor.

But for fairy folk and elves who live close to nature, it’s something else entirely.

Especially High Elves, who value pure bloodlines and are sensitive to energy.

So if anyone were to like him, they would be those with poor eyesight or intuition, those who open their hearts to his external appearance.

In fact, excluding High Elves, he was quite popular.

He had good conversational skills and could quickly gauge others’ emotions and thoughts, adjusting his attitude accordingly.

That could be attributed to good observational skills, but also to the flexibility to immediately translate that into action—adaptability.

Yes, at that point, it would qualify as a talent.

“Why is that? I’m not a bad person.”

“Don’t judge good and evil by human standards. In nature’s standards, good and evil are something entirely different.”

“So did you receive similar treatment from spirits when you were young, Geornia?”

“……”

For High Elves, communicating with spirits and borrowing their power is as natural as breathing.

She, who couldn’t do that, was an outcast even among High Elves.

If she hadn’t walked the path of magic.

And if she hadn’t excelled at it, and later mastered spirit arts as well…

…She would have had to live forever branded as an outsider, due to their race’s characteristic of never forgetting.

For their race, which has finite but relatively infinite time, achievements through effort aren’t of great interest.

After all, everything will be resolved with time.

As long as one doesn’t abandon or give up their livelihood or work.

In the end, it’s just a matter of time.

If not 10 years, then 20.

If 20 isn’t enough, then 50 or 100.

If even that’s not enough, then twice or three times that.

Therefore, it’s truly difficult to make them understand the meaning and value of effort.

That’s why, once they intellectually understand the power difference with the Demon King’s army, they completely rule out desperate resistance.

…That’s probably why Geornia’s own sister bowed her head to the Golden Beast.

If she hadn’t become a traitor, perhaps Geornia herself would have gone along with their choice to retreat the entire race into seclusion.

And that would have merely postponed their extinction.

Like a sprout growing, blooming, and withering.

When death approaches like fate, welcoming it willingly is another of our habits.

Nature’s instinct is to resist with all its might, but it doesn’t refuse.

That is, it doesn’t go against absolute phenomena.

“Time perception is important to humans. I wanted the best and most I could get here. If that’s impossible, I truly can’t help but lament.”

“There’s no guarantee in this world that what you want and plan will unconditionally come true.”

“Of course. I know that, which is why I’m moving on. I’m more stubborn and selfish than you might think. I hate losing and I hate being pushed around.”

“……”

“So all I can pursue here is knowledge and proving my worth, right? That’s not effort, it’s just daily life… I want to make an effort. I want to peel away a layer of my limitations through hard work… and I thought spirit arts would be the way.”

“You really have no interest in magic?”

“I could do it if I tried, but it’s not my aptitude. It would take 50 years to master magic compared to 10 years with a sword. At that point, I might surpass the current Geornia, but what value would that have?”

Geornia frowned.

“You insolent little one.”

“The insolent ones are the ones who break the rules. Dissatisfaction brings about progress. Without dissatisfaction, what else is there besides accepting and following the status quo?”

“So you live your life constantly harboring dissatisfaction?”

“At least I don’t show it outwardly, do I?”

“…That makes you even more vicious, you rascal.”

When negative emotions accumulate, one should express them or release what’s built up, but this fellow doesn’t do that.

Is it because his patience is incredibly strong? Or because, unlike others, the capacity of his dam that contains emotions is exceptionally vast?

No.

That clever fellow would never allow himself the trouble of embracing such useless aspects.

Humans might not understand how inefficient that is, but elves know it better than anyone.

That’s why their race is often described by other races as too honest or intuitive, yet also indifferent and cold.

“The driving force of my life is anger, grudges, and distrust. The moment I trust others, I become weaker than anyone due to the desire to rely on them. Whether it’s spiritually or emotionally. Besides, I rarely feel emotions strongly. That’s why I’m the kind of person who needs to be angry to immerse myself in something with enthusiasm.”

“…I’m not saying that’s wrong, but when you can coldly analyze it like that, something has gone terribly wrong.”

“I wasn’t always like this. In Dabas, I saw a friend giving meaning to life in that way, and suddenly I wanted to emulate it.”

“But… in your everyday life, aren’t you living completely opposite to that? Does that mean it’s all a lie?”

A smart, knowledgeable human who’s always positive and altruistic.

A truly kind human child who considers others and knows how to make them laugh.

At least, that’s the impression the little one called Kariel had been giving since leaving the Empire, as she’d heard.

Of course, if that were all there was to him, he wouldn’t have safely made it this far.

He wouldn’t have set foot in the elves’ sacred land in the first place.

Who, what fool would entrust the life of a hero’s child to such a place?

“There are no lies. It’s all sincere. Everything is sincere. I absolutely trust everyone, and I absolutely distrust them. I divide my roles. The me who doubts and the me who trusts. I split my thinking. And I use whichever side I need. It’s like a sword. Like using the right hand or the left.”

“…Usually, that’s impossible.”

“Is the possibility or impossibility what matters? What’s important is what I want to use. Humans have eyes on the outside, so they can’t look inward at themselves. So I observe and supervise myself with my cognitive abilities. I learned that self-control is important in swordsmanship. But before swordsmanship, isn’t controlling myself the priority?”

“Is that why you’re now formally honing your swordsmanship?”

“Here, political diplomacy and negotiation skills are much more important than handling a sword well. My body is one, and my time is finite. I need to do my best where it counts. And this aspect has already reached its limit, so there’s no need to hone it further. In terms of tools… it’s like finishing the forging process, and now I just need to use and maintain it well. Like how a sword and swordsmanship seem connected but have different uses when broken down.”

“…And the reason you’re telling me all this isn’t just to show off, is it?”

“I heard you once had feelings for my father, albeit briefly.”

That was truly a statement that caught her off guard.

“…?”

“Of course, it was probably just a fleeting impulse like a passing breeze… but for elves, isn’t that quite significant?”

“What are you trying to achieve by telling me this now?”

“When a person reveals their true feelings, it’s like exposing their inner vulnerabilities. Why do you think I’m doing this?”

Whether Kariel was being indirect or Geornia was being obtuse.

She burst out in irritation.

“I’m asking you to be clear precisely because I don’t understand! You don’t want to learn magic, and spirit arts aren’t making any progress, let alone starting, but I doubt you’re venting about that.”

“It is venting. If I lose one thing, I should gain another, right?”

“…Unusually smooth talk from you. So what is it you want to gain by whining like this?”

“You.”

“……”

“……”

“…?”

What? That’s it?

“Wait. You’re… pointing at me?”

“Who else would it be?”

“…You rascal. Are you in your right mind?”

“I’m always in my right mind. Let me ask the opposite. Is there any reason why not? Tell me. I’ll refute them all.”

“No… this isn’t about winning an argument. Besides, we’re not in a position for that.”

Geornia briefly pressed her forehead with her fingernail, deeply contemplating what was happening.

Sitting in a wooden chair with her legs crossed, she habitually swung her leg back and forth…

As the frequency of her swinging increased, Kariel calmly looked around and began flipping through a book.

“Why did you reach such an absurd conclusion?”

“Should I explain at length, or briefly?”

“Briefly.”

“First, you’re beautiful. You perfectly match my aesthetic standards. Second, among the elves, you’re the adult I can most open up to. That means you’re someone who can look out for me, right? Third, given my rather grand lineage, if I were to form a mediocre alliance, I’d likely face criticism from all sides, but that’s less likely with you. Fourth, if we have a child together, that child would be beautiful and intelligent… and above all, wouldn’t they become the strongest symbol of unity and solidarity among the elves? If you don’t like ‘solidarity,’ we could call it integration…”

“You… foolish… boy.”

How could he so calmly ramble on about something so embarrassing, absurd, chilling, and sweat-inducing?

“You want to make allies here, don’t you? You want to bind them with blood ties to create someone who can’t betray you, and you chose me for my influence. And you’re twisting it like this…”

“That would come naturally, so I didn’t even think about it. And if I were to act that way, it would be terrible for your reputation, wouldn’t it? Do you think I would commit such a foolish act toward someone who would be my lover, wife, and partner? “

“……”

This is not a joke.

His tone might sound playful, but he’s being somewhat serious.

That’s why it sounds even more absurd.

“You know what you’re doing, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“That we’re arranging a separate partner for you.”

“Were you? I’d like you to introduce someone who matches my taste. Would that make her the second one?”

What a cunning fellow.

“Even if I refuse, if you want it… you’ll somehow package it as being in the elves’ interest. Eventually, the elders or the Queen would… demand it.”

“Come on. They say a woman’s experience depends on the man, so would I use such a sordid method? It might be easier, but that would plant thorns in our hearts. I’m not fond of the idea that if we just get together and rub along, affection will grow. Ah, if I were a bit older, I might have considered matching our bodies first, and then growing fond of each other that way.”

“Your tongue is the gate of disaster.”

And the root of disaster is hidden in that head of yours.

“I’m a human who rarely finds things moving, so it might be difficult for me to be satisfied with anyone less than Geornia.”

“…I don’t understand. If we’re talking about appearance, there are many better than me. Is that truly your best choice?”

“What matters is the heart-pounding feeling.”

Kariel spread his arms as he spoke.

“Without that, what difference is there between a human and a corpse? If we don’t feel our hearts beating here, we’re all just corpses. I’m no exception.”

“Enough with the abstract talk…”

“My taste is quite particular. My standards are quite high. So take pride in the fact that someone like me has chosen you.”

“…Sigh.”

This won’t do. This boy is severe, if anything…

“I will find someone who can change your judgment… so put that insane decision on hold for now.”

“Alright. Six months should be enough, right?”

“……”

“Even so, my judgment won’t change.”

“……”

This fellow, I heard he was indiscriminate with women in other countries, was that rumor true?

Here, he hasn’t approached anyone and has been thoroughly respectful, so I thought it was a false rumor.

“Were your advances toward women in foreign countries for similar reasons as your current approach to me?”

“Of course not. I’m young now, but I was even younger then, so I just blurted things out, thinking everyone would take it as a joke. But I was also sincere. I have a personality that falls in love easily.”

“……”

That can’t be true.

You’re a human who rarely treats people as people.

“I think you forgot what I said earlier. I said everything I do is sincere.”

As if piercing through her inner thoughts, he strikes at her core.

“My falling in love is also sincere.”

“…But there must be the opposite as well?”

“Yes. That’s why I have many concerns. And… since I won’t be forming relationships with just one or two people, I thought that if it were you, you could understand and oversee them. You’re an elder, after all.”

“……”

Truly, in many ways, a headache-inducing youngster.

“And you know what? This might be the only way to prevent some of the discord that will arise on the continent.”

At those words, Geornia crossed her arms as if embracing her modestly ample chest.

“Thinking that you alone can achieve that seems like you’re valuing yourself too highly, which concerns me.”

“I told you. I lack emotional impact. Unless it’s to that extent… you know.”

This world.

“Wouldn’t it be quite boring and troublesome? Rather than letting my heart wither like a dead tree, I’d rather burn it brightly and become someone who can achieve what I believe is possible. At least that’s not a bad thing, right? Love everyone! This also aligns with the Irenis doctrine. Love. Love and love again. You, all of you, were born to be loved and blessed in this world.”

…Well, I don’t believe in such things, though.

“The command to love implies there’s a lack of love, which is why we’re told to love. The command not to do evil implies evil is abundant, which is why we’re told not to do it. The truth is already hidden in this.”

“You…”

Geornia felt a chill down her spine.

But it wasn’t an ominous or fearful chill.

In one sense, it was pity, and in another… regret.

…They’re quite similar, aren’t they?

In the end, the boy had awakened too, too quickly.

Therefore, this goes beyond being smart, this is, this is…

“So I’m choosing love. If I had chosen the opposite… I wonder how I would have treated the world.”

“……”

Perhaps.

Should I do something about this child right here, right now?

That’s just a passing thought.

But why?

“So, Geornia. If you don’t comfort me here… who knows how twisted I might become.”

That bright, innocent smile… goes beyond unsettling to give me chills.

This time, a clearly different emotion surfaces from before.

Initially, discomfort. Alienation.

Or perhaps, including those two, fear.

“Well, I’m just joking.”

Kariel raised a finger as he spoke.

“I’ve realized as I’ve traveled around. I originally wanted to be a hero, but… also that a hero shouldn’t emerge during my time.”

A hero is born from despair and lamentation.

For the individual hero, they might be born through hardship and adversity.

But for that to happen, how much despair must the world be plunged into?

“The cost that must be paid to romantically sing about heroes is too enormous.”

“……”

He’s a child.

A human child.

Casually singing about heroes, wanting to become one, wanting to become a knight and swinging a sword.

Then complaining about how difficult it is, making excuses, and wandering all over the place.

And then dreaming again. And dreaming again.

…He’s just an ordinary human child, a human youngster for whom that wouldn’t be strange.

“If you truly maintain that resolve even when you become an adult… very well. I, too, will gladly assist you.”

“Oh, how many children would you like? You know humans have a more vigorous libido than elves, right?”

“……”

Why throw in such a comment when the mood was getting serious!

Besides, do you really lack sexual desire even now?

Geornia felt a bit hurt that her sincere response was made to look foolish.

Just a little. A very little bit.

And.

Geornia knew but pretended not to know.

That Kariel’s comment was a joke meant to ease her burden.