Ch.191Epilogue. Never Meant to Stay (3)

Kagami’s expression was so serious that it made me a bit nervous, but we were still able to travel safely.

Maybe it was because she was a beginner driver? She drove slowly and carefully, which actually put my mind somewhat at ease.

The hot spring run by Kaoru’s grandmother was our final destination. The plan was to enjoy ourselves visiting various places, then rest thoroughly before heading home. I had already informed Kaoru about this and received her approval.

So where would we be going before that?

“Did you know?” Kagami said in a somewhat cheerful voice while driving. Her gaze remained perfectly fixed on the road ahead, but she apparently had enough composure to talk.

“Since I was born, I’ve never been outside the Tokyo area.”

“…”

“Though I think my sister traveled to various places.”

That makes sense.

Even though she gave birth to something that wasn’t human, the period wouldn’t have been particularly short. It would have taken weeks or months, and during that time, she probably couldn’t move around freely outside.

This isn’t about the concept that pregnant women shouldn’t move around too vigorously.

What was in her womb wasn’t a human child, and the forms, sizes, and gestation periods were all different.

What would happen if Kagami suddenly felt labor pains, was rushed to the hospital, and gave birth to that lump of flesh?

Kagami has never directly talked about that time. It’s not something she wants to discuss.

How exactly she became pregnant, how she gave birth, and what happened before she confirmed her pregnancy—no matter how I think about it, she probably wasn’t treated like a normal human.

Even after Kosuzu left and everything ended, Kagami had to clean up the aftermath. I couldn’t know, but she must have been extremely busy behind the scenes.

Since she lived a life where she couldn’t even be interested in the world, I can’t blame her for not having broad knowledge.

Actually, considering the common sense she does possess, it’s quite impressive. At least when I talk with Kagami, I don’t feel like our conversations don’t connect or that she doesn’t understand many words.

I don’t feel like she’s behind in common sense either.

“So, I’m a bit excited. It’s my first time going out in a car like this.”

I wonder if she got her driver’s license after I woke up from the funeral.

Since she never missed school during the third semester, I have no way of knowing what Kagami does during the day. And it’s not just about the third semester. There was plenty of time before that too. Counting from when Kagami started caring about me, that time extends even further, so maybe she was diligently preparing in her own way.

Thinking about it again, there were some books among Kagami’s belongings. I didn’t really think about examining them all. Even Koko’s picture books were on that bookshelf. Though we hardly read picture books these days.

…Was I too insensitive?

That thought made me glance at Kagami. She seemed too focused on driving to notice.

I wonder if Koko would still enjoy having picture books read to her.

I thought maybe Kagami could read to Koko. I don’t particularly want to listen myself. But wouldn’t Kagami like having something she could do as a mother?

“…”

Was I being too harsh for someone I consider family?

I broke into a slight sweat internally.

After pondering for a moment, I spoke up.

“I should probably get my license after graduation, huh?”

“You can do whatever you want.”

Kagami seems to be a believer in laissez-faire.

It still feels strange to evaluate myself as her daughter, but in some sense, I already have a mature soul inside, so there’s no need to teach me anything special. In that sense, I might be an easy teenager to raise?

Koko too, despite her childish speech, has in some sense already lived for quite a long time. I’m not sure if it’s because she received the common sense of the souls inside her, but apart from her speech, Koko is quite mature.

So even if Kagami is somewhat hands-off, it’s not a problem. In fact, Koko and I lived together for quite a while.

But still.

If Kagami wants to “raise” me, maybe I should give her some opportunity.

It’s impossible to raise me from early childhood again, but for the relationship after that—

“I might still be nervous even after getting my license.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, well…”

For example, in Japan, cars drive on the left side. The driver’s seat is also opposite to Korea’s. This means the operation is quite different from the car I used to drive.

The steering wheel might be manageable, but having the gear lever on the left side would take time to get used to.

Japanese driver’s licenses take quite a long time to obtain, and they provide detailed education, so people can drive quite comfortably right after getting their license. But a beginner driver is still a beginner driver. They can’t match someone who has driven for years or decades.

So,

“…I was wondering if you could teach me various things when that time comes.”

I thought some people might receive additional instruction from their parents.

I thought Kagami might enjoy something like that.

But my words seemed to have a greater effect than I expected.

Feeling something strange, I looked toward Kagami and found her looking at me.

After a few seconds of not realizing what was wrong, I startled and shouted.

“Wait, Kagami! Look, look ahead, ahead!”

“Ah, yes!”

At my words, Kagami quickly turned her head forward again. Fortunately, the road wasn’t winding, so we avoided an accident.

“…”

A momentary silence filled the car.

Only Koko, who didn’t fully understand the situation, was smiling brightly.

“…I’ll be careful.”

“Okay.”

I nodded at Kagami’s words.

It will probably take about 2-3 years, so she should improve by then.

I sincerely hoped that would be the case.

*

Since we had plenty of time for our trip, there was no need to rush.

Kagami was a beginner driver, and even if she drove at a constant speed, getting lost here and there was inevitable.

Besides, in 2004, cars didn’t come with built-in navigation systems yet.

Well, some expensive cars might have had them as options, and some PDA models might have had the feature.

Still, I don’t think my father’s car had a navigation system when I was young.

Moreover, this car was a compact, second-hand model. It was older than the current year of 2004, so it’s not strange that it didn’t have a navigation system.

Although Kagami was driving, she was still a beginner, so her vision wasn’t perfect. Sometimes she couldn’t find the road leading in the direction she wanted to go.

It was inevitable that I ended up holding the map.

Moving my head around to look at the signs outside the window, then checking the map to confirm which road we were on.

It was kind of fun. Maybe I’m just thinking positively.

We could have chosen the highway, but that’s for going straight to the destination, and we planned to look around various places together.

From Saitama to Tokyo. And from Tokyo, westward along the coast.

We deliberately drove along roads where the sea was visible.

Japanese cars drive on the left side, and the passenger seat where I sat was naturally on the left. The sea was very visible throughout the drive.

We left early in the morning, and by around 2 PM, we had only reached Shizuoka City.

Looking at the map, it didn’t seem that far, but without a navigation system or smartphone, it was hard to gauge how long it would actually take. One thing was certain: the time it took us to get here was much longer than usual.

We found a parking lot, parked the car, and got out to stretch.

I didn’t think I was that tired, but apparently my body was somewhat fatigued.

“Let’s rest here for a while and then set off again. According to my plan, we should reach our destination by tomorrow.”

Kagami said with a somewhat proud expression.

The destination Kagami finally revealed after we departed was Osaka.

For reference, we were just heading toward Osaka, with no specific destination. We hadn’t even made hotel reservations, so we’d have to find accommodations when we got there.

We hadn’t decided on any restaurants to visit along the way either.

By the way, the reason we stopped in Shizuoka City wasn’t because we set it as an intermediate destination, but simply because we wanted to rest a bit and use the restroom.

Yes, Kagami didn’t so much hide the plan as she didn’t have a plan to share in the first place.

In my opinion, the reason the destination was Osaka was probably because it was “a famous place far from Tokyo.”

Well, I don’t really mind either way.

“We’ve come quite far for a drive.”

When I commented with a smile, Kagami’s shoulders hunched a little.

“Is it too far?”

“No, we have plenty of time anyway.”

Kaoru’s grandmother’s place is close to Tokyo. Two days to get there, two days to play, two days to come back. Then about two days resting at the hot spring. That roughly matches our time.

“So… what do you want to eat?”

“Well…”

Kagami fell into thought at my question.

If I asked Koko what she wanted to eat, she’d say anything is fine, and the same goes for me. Honestly, I don’t think I’m pickier than Kagami, who probably only traveled around Tokyo and its vicinity.

“It might be a bit odd to say this after coming all the way out here, but…”

“But?”

Seeing Kagami speak hesitantly, unlike her usual self, I patiently asked again.

“…Would hamburgers be okay?”

“Hamburgers?”

I tilted my head at the unexpected suggestion, and a look of embarrassment crossed Kagami’s face.

Ah, did she think I disliked them?

“No, I don’t dislike them.”

I shrugged before Kagami could change her mind.

“I’m just curious why hamburgers.”

“Well.”

She hesitated a bit at my question but seemed calmer as she spoke.

“I saw it on TV.”

“On TV?”

“Yes. Families enjoying meals together happily.”

“…”

When she puts it that way, it’s impossible to refuse. Not that I was planning to anyway.

So it’s about longing.

Kagami, who never had a proper family, might have longed for the picturesque scenes she saw on TV.

Well, even if the atmosphere wasn’t quite right, Kagami has been to family restaurants with me before.

“Alright.”

“Hamburgers!”

When I nodded, Koko raised both arms high and exclaimed.

In that case, let’s go to a thoroughly “ordinary” franchise today.

“McDonald’s?”

“…That seems sufficient.”

Kagami seemed to realize only now that she had spoken as if going to McDonald’s was her wish.

Her expression wasn’t much different from usual, but her cheeks were slightly flushed.

“Let’s go, then. We should find one if we look around.”

I said that and took the lead.

The picture was a bit strange, but well.

I thought to myself that it’s not uncommon for a teenage girl to walk ahead with her parents following.

*

I made sure to record us eating at McDonald’s.

We left most of our luggage in the car, but I made sure to bring the camcorder. The battery was sufficient too.

Kagami was a bit embarrassed when I filmed her eating a hamburger, but perhaps because of what she said when we started, she obediently let me film her.

And as if seeking revenge, she snatched the camcorder from my hands and filmed me eating, but from the middle, she seemed so absorbed in filming that she kept recording me and Koko until I took the camcorder back.

We walked to the sea, sat together looking at the ocean, and then walked along the sandy beach.

Since we were already there, I pestered Kagami to buy a disposable camera, which we quickly used up. Thinking we’d develop the photos all at once later, I put it back in the bag for now.

After spending some time, it was around 3 PM.

We got back in the car and set off again.

We reached Nagoya when it was almost the middle of the night.

Actually, it was around dinner time. It just looked like night because the sun had already set.

“Let’s have meat for dinner.”

This time, I stated decisively.

There was no particular reason. Really.

I just suddenly felt like eating meat while riding in the car. Maybe I was a bit hungry from using my brain to find our way.

“Meat!”

As if it was obvious, Koko, standing next to me, raised both arms again and shouted.

“What kind of meat would be good?”

Kagami asked, seeming a bit happy. She seemed pleased that I spoke up first.

“Beef. Let’s eat wagyu, wagyu.”

Again, I just spoke according to my mood.

While riding in the car with Kagami, I chose roads as I felt like it.

Maybe that attitude had rubbed off on me.

“Sounds good. Let’s find a nice place together. Though there might not be seats available…”

Isn’t this a big city?

There should be at least one good place.

And we were able to find just such a place. A small shop in a secluded alley, a corner spot. A place with only four tables inside.

But that was enough.

The meat was delicious.

“…”

I recorded Kagami as she concentrated on grilling the meat on the burner in front of her, while also diligently flipping the meat for Koko and me.

To be honest, I wondered if it was really necessary to go that far, but well, Kagami was enjoying it.

“Delicious!”

Koko exclaimed with sparkling eyes.

Kagami, who put meat into Koko’s mouth, me watching that scene, and even the elderly couple who owned the shop watching from a distance—all had warm smiles on their faces.

Come to think of it, how long has it been since I went on a trip like this?

Naturally, after losing my family, I have no memory of going on such a trip.

Perhaps the reason I can enjoy this so much now is because it reminds me of the trips I took with my family when I was young.

We didn’t take many videos or photos back then.

Maybe that’s why it felt so empty after everyone was gone.

After eating meat until our stomachs were slightly bulging, we went out in front of the shop.

“Let’s take a picture.”

I said that and positioned Kagami and Koko in front of the shop.

The camera flash went off. I’m not sure how the result will turn out. Disposable cameras have very small lenses, so photos taken in dark places often don’t come out well.

Perhaps the shop’s name won’t even be visible. But it doesn’t matter. We’ll all remember that we were here.

After taking the photo, Kagami reached out toward me.

She seemed to want something, so I just blinked, and Kagami took the camera from my hand.

Then she grabbed my shoulder and placed me next to Koko.

“You both look the same anyway.”

So, having either Koko or me in the camera wouldn’t make much difference. It would be enough to remember both of our appearances.

“But I can tell when I look.”

That’s what Kagami said.

Following Kagami’s guidance, I stood next to Koko, and Koko firmly held my hand.

Then she smiled brightly at me.

As I was looking at that scene, the flash went off.

Kagami handed the camera back to me with a smile. She looked satisfied.

Well… if she’s happy, that’s good.

I thought as I clicked the camera lever.

*

Even though it was vacation, not all rooms in Nagoya City were fully booked.

A room with three beds side by side.

It looked like quite an expensive hotel, but Kagami paid without hesitation. Well, she must be able to afford it. Perhaps Mr. Fukuda had invested quite a lot of money in Kagami.

“I think we only need to use one bed.”

I gave Kagami an incredulous look at her words, but she didn’t change her expression.

“Doesn’t this room seem about the same size as the room we use at home?”

“…”

Well, that’s true, but.

I can’t really argue with that.

“Let’s wash up and rest.”

Since Kagami seemed determined to use only one bed regardless of my objections, I avoided answering by saying that.

I was the last to wash up. Kagami and Koko washed first, and I went in alone afterward.

When I came out after washing, giving an incredulous look to Kagami who seemed as if she had achieved one of her life goals, Kagami was already lying in bed with Koko.

Koko, using Kagami’s arm as a pillow, was asleep.

On the bedside table was one of the picture books from home.

The two of them were so close together that there was surprisingly space left on the bed.

When our eyes met, Kagami put her finger to her lips, then patted the space beside her.

For a very brief moment, I considered sleeping in another bed—

But seeing how happy Kagami looked, I sighed deeply and went over to her side.

I didn’t use her arm as a pillow like Koko did.

But that seemed to be enough for Kagami.

Was I more tired than I felt?

Without any further conversation, the three of us fell asleep.