Ch.190Epilogue. Never Meant to Stay (2)

Well, I’ll have to put aside summer plans for now since they’re still about half a year away.

What’s immediately ahead of us is spring break.

Countries that adopt the three-semester system, including Japan, seem to have vacations scattered throughout the year.

Summer vacation is quite long at about a month, but winter break is around two weeks and spring break is just under two weeks. From my perspective, having spent my school days in Korea, it looked like one vacation had been split into two.

The third semester isn’t necessarily short, but perhaps because it overlaps with the beginning of the year, the atmosphere is somewhat relaxed. Since there’s only one final exam instead of both midterms and finals, some people feel they have more free time.

“Now we’re third-years~”

Around the time when winter was passing and the weather was starting to feel a bit warmer, Kaoru spoke with an expression like she might die tomorrow in the literature club room.

“Once break is over, we’ll be exam students…”

It was a bit strange to hear this from someone who had proudly declared she would still participate in making the club magazine during her third year.

It was essentially a declaration that she wouldn’t study.

“Technically, you’ve been an exam student since the beginning of this year.”

Izumi responded to Kaoru’s comment.

“Don’t say such depressing things~ It’s natural that studying doesn’t come easily at the beginning of the year.”

There was actually a good reason why studying might not have come easily at the beginning of this year, but since that reason was related to me, I chose to just keep quiet and sit still.

I even put down my dorayaki for a moment, so I was serious.

“In summer, you can’t focus on studying because of vacation and festivals, and in fall, you can’t focus because of sports day and cultural festival.”

“That’s exactly right!”

Kaoru exclaimed indignantly at Izumi’s words.

“How can a person study all year round? You need breaks in between to concentrate better.”

I completely agree with that statement, but somehow when Kaoru says it, it’s a bit hard to believe.

“Besides, you’re reading a novel right now too.”

Izumi blushed when attention turned to the book she was holding.

“I’ll be an exam student after the break ends.”

And she said almost exactly the same thing Kaoru had said earlier.

They really are best friends.

“Why are you looking so relaxed? Your time is coming soon too, soon.”

“…Still, the difference between a year and a week seems quite significant.”

When Yuka spoke, Kaoru clutched her heart as if she’d been dealt a critical blow, then collapsed back onto the desk.

“…Alright!”

But soon Kaoru recovered completely and sat up.

Her eyes were burning with determination.

“Then, I’ll make this last vacation before becoming a student truly memorable!”

It was clear she would thoroughly enjoy all the vacations next year too despite what she said, but there was no point in arguing with Kaoru about such things, so I quietly resumed eating my dorayaki.

“Hey, what’s this? Can’t you hear your senior talking?”

“I’m listening.”

“Ugh.”

“Even Koko…”

Kaoru looked a bit shocked at Koko’s nonchalant reaction.

“Besides, senior, didn’t you say you’d continue making the magazine this year too? That alone seems pretty far from studying.”

When Yuka spoke, Kaoru shrugged.

“That’s different. Making the magazine isn’t playing around, is it? I’m doing it because the school tells us to.”

Though you are making it like it’s play. Club activities are optional anyway—if they weren’t fun, you could just quit.

“Ah, come to think of it, last year I only did literature club activities…!”

“We let you include occult articles in the magazine.”

“That’s not the same as occult club activities!”

The topic of club activities seemed to remind Kaoru that she was actually the president of the occult club, not the literature club.

“Don’t worry too much. Your name is already on the literature club roster.”

Izumi said this and then straightened her chest with a proud smile.

“Ah, so this is how my school days wither away.”

“Withering or not, I think you had quite a fulfilling school life last year.”

“That’s true, but…!”

Kaoru made incomprehensible groans for a while, then suddenly stood up.

“This won’t do. I need to have real, real fun this spring break. Does everyone have time?”

“Ah.”

When I made an ambiguous sound at Kaoru’s question, everyone’s attention turned to me. Of course, Yuka already knew, so she didn’t look particularly surprised.

“…Well, I’m going on a family trip.”

That was it. Kagami had already scheduled it. Though it seems she hasn’t decided where we’re going yet.

“A family trip? Could it be?”

Kaoru, who had been exclaiming various things with an excited expression until just now, asked with wide eyes.

“Yes. With Kagami!”

Koko shouted, raising both hands high.

“Ah, then it can’t be helped.”

Kaoru responded with a serious expression, as if she hadn’t been excited just moments ago.

Well, there’s no need to be quite that serious about it.

“That’s great.”

Setting Kaoru aside, even Izumi spoke with a warm, bright smile.

Yuka, on the other hand, had a somewhat ambiguous expression. It seems she still hasn’t adjusted to Kagami. Well, first impressions do tend to last.

“Have you decided where you’re going?”

“That… I’m not sure. Kagami suggested it.”

“If you need, I could ask my grandmother.”

She must be referring to the hot spring we visited last time.

“No, no matter what, receiving that much help would be…”

“Come on, it’s not like she’d lend it for free. It’s not a time with no guests at all, and my grandmother wouldn’t go that far.”

Kaoru grinned as she responded to me.

“But still, you could get a good spot. The price might be a bit cheaper than elsewhere. Spring break is a good season for family trips, isn’t it?”

That’s true.

But… a hot spring.

Hmm. It doesn’t sound bad, but…

It’s a bit burdensome to think about Kagami entering the same bath as me.

“What do you think, Koko? The place we went last summer.”

“The food was delicious!”

“Right? My grandmother takes cooking seriously!”

When Koko spoke with sparkling eyes, Kaoru proudly straightened her shoulders.

The food was indeed delicious.

“Then… I’ll talk to Kagami about it.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll wait for your call!”

Kaoru’s bright smile was very refreshing.

*

“A hot spring?”

When I relayed Kaoru’s message, Kagami asked with a slightly blank expression.

Kagami basically always has a smiling expression, and even if emotions move within that expression, it rarely breaks. In fact, that “blank” expression was something I unconsciously noticed from very subtle changes.

I was marveling at how living in the same space allows you to quickly recognize such subtle changes in expression when Kagami suddenly grabbed my hand.

“Let’s definitely go.”

“…Didn’t you already have somewhere in mind?”

“I did have somewhere in mind, but let’s go there too. The break is long enough.”

If she puts it that way, I have nothing to say.

“Do you have other plans during the break?”

“No, I kept it open just in case.”

“Then it should be fine.”

Is she planning to travel throughout the entire break?

I wouldn’t mind much, but…

“Travel throughout the break?”

“Yes, travel throughout the break.”

When Koko asked, Kagami answered with her smiling face unchanged.

“Wow!”

Excited, Koko raised both hands above her head and shouted.

Kagami immediately hugged Koko. Koko, with her arms still raised above her head, was caught and couldn’t move.

Seeing Kagami looking at me with her cheek pressed against Koko’s head, I stepped back slightly.

Well, um…

The morning hugs are already enough.

Kagami looked a bit disappointed, but she didn’t try to force a hug.

Just as I’m figuring out Kagami, it seems Kagami is figuring me out too.

That’s a bit scary when I think about it.

“Where were you planning to go first?”

“Here and there.”

That’s not very informative.

“I got a car.”

“You have a driver’s license?”

This was the freshest and most shocking thing I’d heard about Kagami.

I can’t imagine Kagami driving.

It’s as unimaginable as hearing Kagami being called “mom.”

…No, come to think of it, it was also hard to imagine Kagami shopping or cooking for someone else.

“Don’t tell me that car that’s been abandoned in front of our house since last week is ours?”

“Abandoned? I’ve been practicing whenever I have time.”

Hearing the word “practice” makes me even more nervous.

Could she be worse at driving than me? Although I haven’t sat behind the wheel for a year because I’ve been living as a high school student, I did have some driving experience in my previous life.

Anyway, I didn’t realize that’s what she meant by wanting to travel.

Actually, I had noticed a compact car parked in front of the apartment for a few days.

It seemed a bit too cute for an adult man to drive. If not that, I thought someone might have parked illegally. Since Kagami didn’t make an issue of it, I didn’t ask about it either.

“…”

By the way, is she practicing driving and bought a car?

It’s a positive thing, but it’s interesting to see Kagami enjoying life bit by bit.

She always had a somewhat bright appearance, but if that was somewhat artificial to create a sense of dissonance, now Kagami’s face was genuinely bright.

“…Don’t you believe me?”

“No.”

Well, this is Kagami who resurrected me. She probably doesn’t intend to do anything that would risk my life.

“I just think it might be quite fun.”

Yes. Once we become adults and start working, it will be difficult to enjoy like this.

I’m not sure if Koko and I will go to university. Even if I don’t, I want Koko to go to university.

I want to extend that grace period a little longer rather than throwing her straight into society.

It’s hard to imagine Koko or me working at a company a few years from now. Will Koko be different then? Will she stop saying things like “Wow!”?

Looking at Koko now, she doesn’t seem like she’ll change easily.

Probably gradually, as we all have changed, slowly. Until one day we suddenly realize how much time has passed.

Time can’t be held onto.

We can only remember it after it’s gone.

“Can I record videos in the car?”

“Of course.”

Kagami nodded in response to my question.

The risk of death is gone, but I still want to preserve memories.

Memories that I want to remember for as long as possible.

So that I can remember them even after 20 years from now—no, even after the time of the world I knew has passed.

*

Time passed, and spring break arrived.

Since we were planning to be away from home for over a week, I attended a final year-end party with my friends. It wasn’t anything special—we just went to a yakiniku restaurant and ate meat together.

We were set to depart the next day.

I woke up early in the morning, had a simple breakfast, washed up, and went outside.

I stood in front of a somewhat classically designed, cute car. Standing in front of the beige car gave me a somewhat unique feeling.

Though it wasn’t a car I bought.

“So this is your taste.”

I muttered that while nodding.

Come to think of it, I still don’t know much about Kagami’s tastes. She did many things for Koko and me, but she rarely bought things for herself.

Even when wearing clothes, she often wore unremarkable, plain items. She wore pants and skirts with almost equal frequency, and both were usually long.

Occasionally she wore dresses that revealed a bit of her chest, but usually she wore flowy long-sleeved shirts with long skirts, or just white long-sleeved shirts with jeans. I could tell she liked neat things, but other than that, there weren’t any particular characteristics.

Perhaps she has that uniquely Japanese minimalist sensibility.

“Is it strange?”

“No, I think it’s not bad.”

I answered and sat in the passenger seat.

“What’s the car’s name? Lapin?”

“It’s Lapin.”

Isn’t that English?

“Wow!”

Koko, sitting in the back seat, exclaimed with delight.

All the luggage was in the trunk. Although it was a compact car, it seemed designed to maximize interior space, so there was more room for luggage than expected.

Still, I held the camcorder in my hand.

“I didn’t think you’d buy a car.”

I said to Kagami while fiddling with the camcorder.

“I thought if you bought a car, it would be something incredibly large and expensive.”

And you wouldn’t drive it yourself, but have someone else drive.

After all, Kagami is still the head of a religion. Even if things were going to change from the days of exploiting followers, she would still have quite a lot of money coming in.

“Should I have bought a bigger, better car?”

Kagami asked with a somewhat worried expression.

“…No.”

I answered.

If I had wanted a better car with Kagami’s money, I wouldn’t have wanted to continue living in that house in the first place.

Kagami has a mansion, though it’s barely maintained. It’s even closer to central Tokyo than where we are now. If I had judged things purely by money, I would have suggested fixing that place up and living there.

But right now, this was good enough.

I might want my own room later, but for now, yes. This was best.

“I like it as it is.”

“So do I.”

Kagami said, gently stroking the steering wheel.

“Living in a house like this, driving a car like this, having this kind of distance…”

As she spoke with a smile at the corners of her mouth, her eyes were directed at the steering wheel right in front of her, but they seemed to be looking somewhere further away.

I see.

Perhaps Kagami longed for “normalcy.”

Born in a house with bizarrely twisted family traditions, raised among similarly twisted people.

She couldn’t live like normal people. I don’t even know if Kagami properly attended school.

Would Kosuzu have cared about such things?

Kagami might have had someone she liked too. She might have met her first love at school. She might have made close friends and wanted to go places with them.

But all those dreams were taken away by someone else.

The belief that enduring and persevering would lead to something precious was trampled.

After all that time, we’ve reached the present.

Has Kagami obtained what she wanted?

Or is she still in the process of obtaining things one by one?

…The passage of time doesn’t seem to be entirely bad.

“Well then, let’s depart.”

Kagami said, gripping the steering wheel with both hands.

I nodded.

And I raised my hand to grab the handle above the door.

“Hmm?”

Koko tilted her head and then imitated me.

“Koko, seatbelt.”

“Okay!”

Koko nodded at my words and fastened her seatbelt in the back seat.

“You really don’t trust me at all.”

“I trust you.”

I just don’t trust your driving skills.

“In that case, I’ll make you trust my driving skills too.”

Kagami said that and put the car in reverse.

Then she pressed the accelerator too forcefully, causing all our heads to jerk forward, which startled her into quickly releasing the pedal.

“…”

My face probably turned pale.

I seriously considered offering to drive instead of Kagami. Of course, I’d be arrested for driving without a license, so I just kept that thought to myself.

“Do you trust me?”

No, how can I trust you when you made such a mistake the moment you pressed the accelerator?

But it was too late to say I didn’t want to go on the trip. At least it seemed true that Kagami had practiced driving, so I just nodded slightly.

“Wow!”

Koko in the back seat was shouting with both hands raised.

Is she mistaking this for an amusement park ride?

“Alright, then…”

Kagami, who had turned a bit pale, slowly pressed the accelerator again.

The car was moving slowly.

She turned the steering wheel, backed the car out completely, then shifted gears to move forward.

Though it moved slowly, it was much more stable than at first. My rapidly beating heart calmed down a bit.

“Safe driving. Safe driving.”

When I emphasized it twice, Kagami nodded.

“I’m already doing that.”

Then I have nothing more to say.

I just hope her driving skills improve dramatically during this trip.