Ch.18Chapter 3. If Only There Was a Conscience (4)

Living life, there are days when you get strange feelings.

Like feeling someone is following you, turning around to find no one there, or sensing someone in a house that should be empty.

I was never one to believe in supernatural phenomena, but that doesn’t mean I can go against human instinct.

I read somewhere that these sensations are “instinctual,” signals from the brain to periodically check potentially dangerous areas to ensure safety.

I don’t know how credible this explanation is, but I thought it was quite plausible.

Anyway.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing that “strange feeling” frequently.

When leaving work. When leaving the neighborhood restaurant after a meal.

If you feel it repeatedly, doesn’t that mean something’s there?

“…”

Before entering my home.

I turned around with my hand on the doorknob.

But there seemed to be no one in the alley. I could only hear small noises from around the neighborhood.

…Come to think of it, I’ve never heard TV sounds from this apartment.

Though I hear snoring from next door every day.

I should be hearing conversation or living noises from neighboring or downstairs rooms, but strangely, the only sound I hear is late-night snoring.

That thought gave me chills.

Is this building that empty? Well, even if someone paid me, I wouldn’t particularly want to live here.

But I don’t have the passion or money to find another place, so I’ll be stuck here for a while.

“…”

I stared intently at the alley once more before entering my room.

Let’s just sleep.

I have school tomorrow anyway.

*

As I expected, the uniform was quite expensive.

There was a place near school that sold Hanakawa High School uniforms, so I got two sets of summer uniforms. No matter what, I couldn’t wear a sweaty uniform without washing it.

The summer uniform was also a black sailor uniform. The basic design was almost the same, but the sleeves were short-sleeved, and though black, the fabric was thin.

I don’t understand why we still have to wear ribbons under the collar even in summer, but I guess it’s better than some manga uniforms that make you wear vests.

Even wearing a uniform with thinner fabric and short sleeves, Tokyo’s summer was terribly humid and hot.

No, to be precise, Tokyo’s summer was humid and hot. Places further north like Sapporo might be relatively cooler than most regions in Korea. They’re further north after all.

Though that doesn’t mean summer isn’t summer.

June 1st, today I briefly stopped by the club room after class to say hello and then returned home.

In my previous life, I occasionally had to rush into fires, but this hot weather was still hard to bear. I preferred winter even if my teeth chattered from cold. Well, that’s just regarding the weather.

In winter, there were more fires and more people got hurt, so there was more work, which I didn’t like.

Today it was too hot, so I just made a brief appearance at the club. Everyone saw my terrible condition and told me to go home quickly, so I promptly left. Of course, I grabbed a dorayaki and put it in my bag.

When I got back, it was six in the evening.

I roughly tossed my bag in the room and lay down on the floor without changing clothes.

The floor was warm from sunlight that had been coming through the curtainless window all day. To make matters worse, the wooden floor had absorbed a lot of moisture.

“…Should I shower.”

I sat up again, talking to myself as I often do when alone.

My body felt sticky from sweating a lot during the 30-minute walk. This avatar body created by the outer god was unnecessarily human-like.

Thinking I should get a fan soon, I sat up—

Knock knock.

Someone knocked on the door.

“…”

I stared at the door for a moment.

Teacher Suzuki hadn’t visited my home since that time. She occasionally called me for something like counseling, but she probably thought it wasn’t appropriate for a teacher to visit a student’s home too often.

She said she would help if I asked… but I was still using the bloodstained blanket. I could somewhat imagine what expression she would make if she saw this blanket, so I wasn’t planning to call her until I changed it.

Actually, I probably wouldn’t call her even after changing the blanket.

Other than that… no one had come to my home alone. Yuuki had just been following me.

“Who is it?” I asked, getting up.

Knock knock.

But the person answered my question with another knock.

For a moment, I felt a bit anxious.

I mean… lately I’ve been feeling sudden anxiety from time to time. I still occasionally felt that sensation I had experienced before.

It might sound strange coming from someone who had a physically demanding job, but my current body was that of a high school girl on the verge of malnutrition.

I couldn’t stop an adult man if he forced his way in.

But I didn’t want to resort to slitting my wrist to draw out the sword.

Knock knock.

I went to the door, calmly put on the chain. It should hold at least once if pushed hard?

And with the chain on, I opened the door slightly to look outside.

The person standing outside was— a girl about my age.

A girl wearing all white, holding a parasol, who seemed well-dressed.

She was alone. She was much taller than me. So despite being a pretty girl who was neatly dressed, she had an overwhelming presence.

“…Who are you?”

When I asked that, the girl with black hair and white skin spoke with a polite attitude.

“Hello. I’d like to share some good news with you. Do you have time?”

“…”

I momentarily forgot what to say.

The hand gripping the doorknob loosened slightly.

“…No, I’m not interested.”

I answered and closed the door.

And as I was about to return to my room—

Knock knock.

“…”

“Could you please listen just once?”

The girl’s voice was heard softly through the door.

“I’m not interested.”

I said that again toward the door.

“Are you really not interested? If you listen, you could go to heaven later.”

I almost snorted for the first time since coming to this world.

“…If God has a conscience, He couldn’t send me to hell, could He?”

There was no response from the person beyond the door for a while.

She probably didn’t leave… since I couldn’t hear footsteps from beyond the door.

“Is that so…”

After saying nothing for a long time, the girl murmured that, then,

“I came to deliver the words of Nirlas Shura.”

“What?”

My thoughts stopped for a moment.

I quickly undid the chain and opened the door, but there was no one outside.

As if there had never been anyone there.

“…What?”

I stared blankly at the empty doorway and murmured again.

*

Alright, let’s think about this again.

This novel has elements borrowed from the Cthulhu Mythos.

I hadn’t read far enough to see those beings appear in earnest, but from the beginning, breadcrumbs were dropped, and later those beings definitely appear.

Of course, all the names are changed. Probably due to copyright. Even though Lovecraft’s original works would have been in the public domain by then, the Cthulhu Mythos has become so mixed with settings from numerous writers that it’s impossible to tell what’s part of the official worldview.

Besides, apart from the original works of that time, I wonder if there’s any meaning in separating them.

Anyway, the author slightly changed the names of the gods and beings from the Cthulhu Mythos and borrowed them for the setting.

I’ve never directly read the term Shura-Nirlas in the novel, but it was likely derived from Shub-Niggurath.

Then what is the identity of the girl who came to deliver that message?

Shub-Niggurath is the third-ranked god in the Cthulhu Mythos.

Azathoth sits at the highest position but is excluded from godhood. Then comes Yog-Sothoth, the actual leader. Shub-Niggurath is said to be his wife… though these beings don’t have gender to begin with.

Then that ‘messenger’ is… obvious.

“It must be Nyarlathotep.”

But the name will be a bit different. As I mentioned earlier, the author borrowed names with modifications.

I rubbed my temples with both hands.

I… or rather this body, was originally an avatar created for this Shura-Nirlas to use.

So, for that being to exist in this world, it needs a separate shell like this. For some unknown reason, the fake Niggurath cannot physically exist in this world.

Considering that Nyarlathotep appears as a messenger-like being in the original, was my original body… managed by that guy?

“Huh.”

I laughed dejectedly for a moment, then searched through my bag.

I took out a box cutter and sharpened the blade.

Pressing it against my wrist, I thought for a moment.

Is it a good idea to summon that being and ask questions?

Why would an outer god bother to send a messenger to speak to me? Is it hoping I’ll summon it like this?

“…”

I put the knife away again.

Yes, let’s think more carefully. There’s no need to walk into a trap unnecessarily.

And if I cut my wrist here, I might have to discard another expensive uniform.

*

Working at a maid café doesn’t mean I only serve customers every day.

Including the owner and the recently joined Shii Sasaki, there are only five employees in total, which isn’t that many.

Actually, considering the size of the café, it could be considered quite a lot, but isn’t this a café that emphasizes ‘maids’? Without ‘serving,’ the café’s existence becomes meaningless.

But the café doesn’t run on serving alone, so sometimes I had to organize the storage room or help prepare the menu.

Despite appearances, I’m quite skilled with my hands, and the owner trusted my coffee-making skills.

“Customers probably won’t notice the difference at this level.”

After having me make coffee a few times, the owner nodded and said that.

In other words, it meant I wasn’t as good as the owner, but comparing myself to someone who had been making coffee for years was meaningless.

In that way, when there were too many customers, I would help prepare the menu, and sometimes I would organize items in the storage room.

And that’s when I realized this storage room was a treasure trove.

Besides things necessary for running the café, there were quite a lot of items in the storage room.

And among them, a few caught my eye.

“Boss, is this…?”

While postponing the opening and cleaning together, I pointed at an item and asked the owner.

“Oh, the fan? I bought it to use when the weather was ambiguous, but when it gets even a little hot, we just turn on the air conditioner, so it’s useless.”

The owner said, looking at the item wrapped in plastic and gathering dust in the corner of the storage room.

“Why? Do you need it?”

“Yes.”

“Um… then take it?”

“Thank you.”

“…You don’t even hesitate, do you?”

Why would I?

That day, I took the fan home. It was over an hour’s journey, and the fan was quite heavy compared to my body weight, so I was drenched in sweat the whole way back, but I was extremely happy.

Now I could stay cool even in a midsummer room!

The electricity bill would be a bit higher, but isn’t that better than being steamed to death?

Moreover, organizing the storage room wasn’t finished so easily. And there were more items in that storage room besides the fan.

“Boss, this is…”

“Oh, that? It’s a rice cooker. Actually, I bought it to sell special menu items here, but there’s a limit to what you can do with a home rice cooker…”

When I held up the plastic-wrapped rice cooker and stared at the owner, the owner looked at me incredulously.

“…Why, do you need it?”

“I do.”

“…Then take it?”

“Thank you.”

“You really don’t know how to decline, do you?”

You only lose out in life if you stand on ceremony unnecessarily.

That day too, I came home smiling with the rice cooker. On the way, I stopped by the neighborhood supermarket and bought rice. I didn’t buy that much. I couldn’t carry too much, and I didn’t have a place to store it.

But still… it’s rice! If I’m lucky, I might be able to eat rice at home instead of convenience store bread!

…Oh, but I don’t have a refrigerator.

I couldn’t steal the café’s refrigerator, so I thought about what I could make just by cooking rice.

Since it was summer, I couldn’t just leave food in the room. For now, I’ll buy a little at a time and only as much as I can definitely consume.

That’s how my home gradually acquired enough items that if someone came to visit, they would think “someone lives here.”

*

If you ask whether I prefer bread or rice, I would answer that I like both.

But honestly, I think rice is more filling. Both are carbohydrates, but having grown up in Asia, I couldn’t say I felt “satisfied” unless rice filled my stomach.

Put rice in the rice cooker, add water, cook rice.

I hadn’t been able to do this simple act from April until the second week of June.

But not anymore. Like a normal Asian household, my home now had an electric rice cooker.

Well, there were still many things I didn’t have, but isn’t having this better than nothing? I have a personality that knows how to be grateful for what I have. Of course, if an opportunity to have more comes along, I won’t avoid it.

Before the rice was done, I set the table and placed chopsticks. Then I took out the soy sauce I had bought and stored in the cupboard.

And the fried eggs I had prepared in advance.

…Unfortunately, I don’t have a refrigerator. So I bought a pack of ten eggs and fried all ten at once.

At first, I tried to make rolled eggs but failed miserably, so I just stirred them around to make scrambled eggs. Those dismally disintegrated eggs fried in oil were also on the plate with five fried eggs.

Well, it’s fine. I was planning to feast today anyway.

While waiting somewhat anxiously for the rice to finish cooking—

Knock knock.

Someone knocked on the door.

It was a familiar knock.

I got up from my seat. I felt a bit annoyed at whoever was visiting at this timing.

“…Who is it?”

When I asked that at the door,

“I’ve come to share good news with you.”

Came the reply.

I slowly opened the door.

Again, that tall woman I had seen before was standing there.

Have you heard of Hachishakusama? It’s a Japanese ghost story that was once popular. A ghost that’s eight shaku tall, wears a white dress and a wide-brimmed hat, and can only say “po, po.”

She’s not that tall. Her height is probably around 170cm. She’s not wearing a wide-brimmed hat either. Her hair… well, I guess this part is similar?

I probably thought of that ghost simply because I had to tilt my head way up to look at the woman.

She was holding a parasol in her hand again.

“You opened the door today.”

“…”

I stared at the woman silently.

“Have you decided to listen to what I have to say?”

After thinking for a moment, I turned my body slightly to the side.

The woman entered the room with graceful steps that seemed like they would make such a sound.

“Were you eating?”

Actually, I was about to eat. Thanks to you, it’s ruined.

“…Please sit down first.”

On the very off chance that she might just be a normal person. Maybe I’ve coincidentally met a cult that exists in this world.

The woman naturally sat at the table.

I don’t want to share my rice with a stranger.

Just then, the rice cooker made a sound indicating that cooking was complete, and I sighed deeply.

I slowly knelt beside her.

At least I have several rice bowls. I wasn’t the type of person to wash dishes immediately after eating.

I scooped rice into a bowl and placed it in front of the guest.

“…Since you’re here, have a meal before you go.”

Shouldn’t one normally avoid meal times?

Isn’t six in the evening dinner time, usually?

“Wow, you’re giving me some too?”

I can’t eat alone with someone sitting there.

Well, I did fry too many eggs.

Suppressing a sigh, I got up and found another rice bowl I had stored in the cupboard.

The woman wasn’t eating the rice yet. She was just staring at me as if curious about my actions.

Whether she was observing humans, or finding it strange that I let her in and gave her food.

The smile that never left her lips gave me chills.

I scooped my portion of rice into a bowl and placed it where I was going to sit.

Then I sat down across from the woman.

I… don’t usually say “itadakimasu” when eating alone. I wasn’t raised in Japan after all.

What should I do now?

After thinking briefly, I just picked up my chopsticks.

Seeing me pick up chopsticks, the other person did the same.

When I used my chopsticks to pick up an egg and place it on top of the rice, she followed suit.

“…”

Well, it seemed she didn’t intend to harm me so far.

I guess I should be grateful she’s not interfering with my mealtime.