Ch.18A Single Flower (2)

Kirsy entered the dormitory room, greeted Asena with a stern expression, and then locked the door.

-Click.

Then, as if a puppet’s strings had been cut, she collapsed powerlessly to the floor.

“..Haa…haa….”

Her breathing was incredibly unsteady as she exhaled empty breaths. She was finally expressing the anxiety and fear she had been hiding.

She had forcibly held it in front of Caden.

When Caden said he was being bullied because someone was spreading rumors about him, the world before her eyes darkened as if it had gone out.

She felt guilty.

Of course, it could only have been her.

When she first entered his messy dormitory, she felt only cold anger rising like a heat haze, wondering who would dare mess with a Praester.

But with his next words, that anger faded helplessly.

She was the culprit, and there was no room for excuses.

She could tell that he was being attacked because she, another Praester, had gossiped about him.

Her sharp mind quickly pieced together the hints.

He had been portrayed as abandoned by the family.

That wasn’t her intention.

She had only wanted to cool the interest of the women approaching him.

…..Of course, it had been convenient lately.

After she had spread those rumors, no one showed interest in him anymore, which secretly relieved her.

She knew unkind words about him were circulating…but she had even thought that was good.

His beauty was something only she needed to know.

She didn’t want others to know about it.

But she never expected someone would directly attack him like this.

She never knew her beloved brother was being bullied like this.

She never knew he was suffering enough to sweat and have nightmares.

The problem didn’t end there.

He knew.

Caden knew.

He sensed that someone was badmouthing him. He felt that someone was behind it.

He had said it himself.

Even if they caught the culprit, don’t bring them before him.

‘……Really. I think I would hate them terribly.’

At those words, thud.

Her heart felt like it was dropping.

After her parents had left, this was the first time she felt such despair. Her legs nearly gave out.

What would he do if he found out she was the culprit?

‘…..Hate me?…Brother would…?’

She tried to imagine it.

Though it wasn’t easy since she’d never seen it before—Caden looking at her with contempt.

No more goodnight kisses, no tight hugs, no affectionate arm-linking, no feeding each other food.

The Caden who had filled her childhood with happiness would leave her.

He would abandon her, only cherishing and treasuring Asena.

He wouldn’t even glance at her once.

“No…! No…!”

She hated the thought to the point of madness.

So even faced with this fear she was experiencing for the first time, she struggled not to show it.

Though her legs felt like they would give out at any moment, her expression might contort, and her hands might tremble.

She forcibly held it all in.

Because he might find it strange. If she panicked, he might notice.

…But she couldn’t do anything about her anxious heart.

Just that brief imagination was too painful.

‘Right. He doesn’t know yet.’

Kirsy reassured herself.

Then, swallowing, she sat down beside him.

Right now, she needed his warmth. She needed the assurance that he was still beside her.

‘…Brother, hug me.’

She was being demanding.

Even seeing him drenched in cold sweat, she wanted to be held tightly.

She wished he would hug her so tightly she might break.

Fortunately…though it was a light embrace, he hugged her, and with that, she left the room.

Kirsy, collapsed on the floor, slowly clasped her hands together.

“…Please…please…”

And through her tightly constricted throat, she let out a moan.

Anyone listening would have thought it was a puppy whimpering.

“…Please…please…”

She prayed to a god she didn’t even believe in.

“Please don’t let brother know… Please don’t let him know it was me….please..please.. I can’t live without my brother….”

She prayed and prayed again.

Please let him not find out.

Please let him continue to love her.

For a long, long time, Kirsy couldn’t fall asleep.

.

.

.

.

The next day, Kirsy entered the classroom a bit late.

Partly because she overslept from praying, but partly intentional.

Sure enough, all the noble ladies she needed to meet were gathered in one place.

Those were the women to whom she had first badmouthed Caden.

Mary Bones waved her hand.

“Kirsy, you’re here?”

“….”

She didn’t answer and headed straight toward them.

She didn’t even wear her usual smile. She didn’t feel like it.

As everyone noticed this strange behavior, Kirsy spoke without hesitation.

“…Everyone. You remember what I said about my brother, right?”

“….”

Since those words had been gossip, not everyone readily nodded. They just exchanged awkward glances, creating an atmosphere of agreement.

That was enough for Kirsy. She continued.

“…..Did any of you talk about it elsewhere?”

“…..”

Again, there was no answer.

Kirsy continued.

“….I’ll just say one thing.”

“……”

“If by any chance…one in a thousand…one in ten thousand…if the fact that I was the one who said those things ever reaches my brother’s ears.”

No one made a sound. Even Mary, who had always been friendly with her, was quiet as a mouse.

“…..I would be very disappointed. It was our secret conversation, wasn’t it?”

*****

Time passed.

Today was a holiday.

I yawned.

I was sitting in my own garden, planting seeds.

Others might wonder why I was doing this, but for me, there was nothing else to do.

I had no place to belong anywhere, and time had to be spent somehow.

Just because I had resolved to change didn’t mean things would transform dramatically.

Deciding to become the strongest knight didn’t suddenly prove it, nor did wanting a strategic marriage for gain magically produce a woman to marry me, nor did wanting followers make people follow me.

My reputation was still rock bottom, and there were no fearless people trying to befriend me.

At most, there were only Eric Endra and Judy Ice.

I didn’t mind.

Rather, those two were remarkable people.

That they still approached me without changing.

I didn’t go around desperately trying to improve my reputation. I knew that would only harm me.

With anything, showing desperation first creates aversion.

So I was waiting for an opportunity.

I believed without doubt that the right moment would come.

“Brother!!”

Kirsy came running from far away.

I turned my head, smiled, and waved at her.

Our relationship had returned to something similar to before.

This wasn’t difficult for me either.

Rather, living with blushing cheeks would have been harder for me.

It might seem like a false peace… but I didn’t want to break it.

After all, what I planned to do wouldn’t change anyway.

“Where’s Asena?”

I asked as Kirsy approached.

Today she had also taken off her Academy uniform and was dressed comfortably.

Her outfit naturally made me think she looked cute.

“…Before that!”

Kirsy didn’t answer and spread her arms.

I wiped my sweat and stood up.

Then I showed her my hands, dirty from tending the garden.

“My hands are dirty.”

“Mmm!”

As if rejecting my excuse, she insisted somewhat firmly.

“We still have to!”

I shrugged my shoulders and spread both arms.

Simultaneously, Kirsy flew into my embrace.

She hugged me tightly, as if squeezing me.

I also patted her back with my wrists and then separated.

Kirsy pulled away with a satisfied expression and said.

“Sister will be here soon too.”

“Why didn’t she come with you?”

“I ran here. Sister is walking.”

“Hmm.”

I nodded and looked back at my garden.

Kirsy squatted in front of my garden.

“Are you done, brother?”

“Yes. I planted everything I wanted.”

“I was surprised when I heard you were suddenly planting flowers.”

“I’m doing physical work every day. I need to breathe like this sometimes.”

“What kind of flowers did you plant, by the way?”

I looked at her and smiled gently.

“…That’s a secret.”

At my words, Kirsy smiled shyly and hugged her knees.

-Tap tap.

Someone tapped my back.

As I turned around, a warm sensation touched my cheek.

-Smooch.

With a light sound, Asena pulled away from my cheek.

An expressionless face.

The head of the Praester family stood there.

“….Asena’s here. Your clothes are pretty.”

After a moment of surprise.

I complimented her outfit.

Because Asena likes compliments.

…Well..though I can’t be completely sure of that anymore.

Kirsy stood up and was about to say something, but Asena acted first.

“…..Kirsy, look over there for a bit.”

Asena, without even greeting me, first gave an order to Kirsy.

“…Huh? Over there?”

Kirsy’s head turned in the opposite direction from where we were standing.

And at that moment, Asena’s arm reached out and grabbed my face.

Then she started planting bird kisses on my cheek repeatedly.

-Smooch.Smooch.Smooch.Smooch.

“Whoa..! Asena, what are you doing?”

“Huh? Brother, what’s happening with sister?”

At my voice, as Kirsy was about to turn her head, Asena, without letting go of her hand, said to Kirsy.

“Kirsy. Don’t turn your head. Just a moment.”

Then she planted a few more kisses on my cheek.

-Smooch.Smooch.

Eventually, I relaxed my stiffened body and loosened up so she could kiss me more comfortably.

“What’s this about, Asena?”

“….I’m just making up for all the ones I couldn’t do for the past few days.”

She whispered to me.

Asena is always like this. Whether it’s maintaining her dignity as the family head, or being embarrassed by skinship…..or if there’s some hidden reason.

She didn’t often display affection in front of others. Even if it was Kirsy.

Nevertheless, she never forgot, never gave up, and always made sure to have skinship.

Her trying to do it secretly like this only looks cute to me.

….Well.

I guess I can’t help it.

I tried not to be conscious of the twins’ evaluation, but when she kisses me like this, my heart, having no pride, gets excited.

I smile even if I can’t read her true feelings.

Even if this is deceptive behavior, I can’t help it.

I like these children so much… I can’t give up.

Even if the twins dislike me, their actions fuel me.

I sighed and collected myself. Still, I’ll be their support.

Even if they don’t lean on me, I’ll stand straight.

“Do you two want to plant something too?”

I changed the atmosphere.

****

A few more weeks passed.

The classmates in the knight department looked at Sir Hoslow.

He was scanning us with his eyes as if he had something to say, even though class had started.

“…Hmm. Everyone’s here.”

He nodded and said.

“You’re all becoming more knight-like. Your horseback riding skills improve day by day, your sword stances are becoming more concise… I hear you’re keeping up well with the theory classes too.”

Day by day, I could feel that Sir Hoslow was an extraordinary knight. There was much to learn from him. Having set a goal to become the strongest knight, I listened to his words more attentively than ever.

“But now you must be curious. Some chose this knight department for honor. Some for glory. Some for their family. You must wonder where you stand.”

“….That’s right.”

I muttered to myself inaudibly.

I felt that what I had been waiting for was approaching.

Naturally, an opportunity to prove myself.

An opportunity to raise my reputation.

After all, my desire to become the strongest knight had another goal hidden at its foundation.

I don’t want to be some secluded master. I have no desire to be strong in isolation.

I want to be a famous knight recognized by everyone. I don’t even need to be truly the strongest. Just having the perception that I’m the strongest would be enough.

What I’m aiming for isn’t the skill itself, but the reputation.

I wanted to become the kind of knight whose mere presence elevates the family’s status.

For that, I needed a stage to showcase myself.

“Some of you must be itching. Some must be bored of rolling around in this dirt every day.”

Several classmates nodded.

Judy, standing next to me, did the same.

Sir Hoslow, after checking our expressions, said.

“I’ll give you a chance to prove yourselves.”

“…That’s right.”

I nodded once more and muttered.

My fists clenched.

Sir Hoslow spoke.

“….This coming holiday, there will be a jousting tournament.”