Ch.188Epilogue. Clarifying Titles (4)

In the end, Yuka ended up sleeping in our room.

While Yuu would have been more appropriate since he was already acquainted with Kagami, he made such a disgruntled face when he heard about it that we had no choice.

Since we were all students and had school tomorrow, we split up into different rooms around ten o’clock.

Kagami, dedicated to her role, laid out all the bedding before going to sleep.

Fortunately, Yuka’s spot was next to Koko. It seemed Kagami was considerate enough for that much.

Or maybe she still hadn’t forgiven me for stabbing her.

With the four of us lying side by side in the room, space was almost completely filled.

Hmm…

If Kagami hadn’t been there, we probably would have chatted for quite a while in this situation—

“Please feel free to talk among yourselves.”

—Kagami spoke first, as if reading my thoughts.

“I’ll just pretend I can’t hear you.”

“…”

No, no matter what you say, the fact that you’re listening doesn’t change.

Of course, I knew Kagami wouldn’t share our conversations with others.

It wasn’t entirely because I trusted her, but because she had no one to share her daughter’s… or what she considered her daughter’s conversations with.

Without bothering to respond to Kagami, I just tried to go to sleep. Yuka would probably feel uncomfortable sharing her thoughts in front of Kagami anyway.

“…I’ve been wondering something.”

But Yuka spoke up in a casual voice, defying my expectations.

“What exactly is the relationship between the three of you?”

The emotion behind those words was difficult to describe.

The Kagami that Yuka had seen was a mother who abused her daughter. Beyond that, she’d only seen Kagami as the leader of a cult, someone involved in suspicious activities, or someone willing to put the entire world at risk to save her daughter.

The gap between the first two impressions and the last one was probably causing her some confusion.

“…How should I put it?”

Kagami hesitated slightly but urged me to answer. Her voice sounded like she’d just heard something amusing.

Unfortunately, that voice was coming from right beside me.

From the rustling sound, it seemed Kagami had turned to face me.

“…”

I hesitated to answer.

The reason was quite simple.

I thought that if I answered honestly, Kagami would definitely use it as some kind of leverage.

Even if that leverage was just about how we addressed each other when we were alone, it felt somewhat critical at the moment.

“Koko, what about you?”

Sensing my complicated thoughts, Yuka asked Koko first.

Koko thought for a moment, then said:

“Food, delicious.”

…That was her answer.

“Really? I’m glad. I studied quite hard, you know.”

And surprisingly, Kagami seemed quite pleased with that answer.

What the…

It seems like she thinks of herself more as an automatic rice cooker than a mother. Is that really okay?

Well, I suppose it’s still much better than being mortal enemies.

In a way, this was also due to Koko’s characteristic “omissions.” Seeing how she hugged Kagami back when Kagami embraced her, Koko probably viewed Kagami as a “favorable” person.

…Oh, right, that’s true.

Kagami did resurrect me too.

Since Koko judges people based on whether she likes them rather than on gain or loss, Kagami, who saved someone Koko cares about, might fall into the “good person” category.

“So it’s true that you’re living together.”

Yuka replied with a small sigh mixed in.

She hadn’t believed it until now?

Well, I can’t blame her for not believing it.

“It’s not uncomfortable or anything?”

“It’s not uncomfortable.”

To be honest, it’s actually convenient. Kagami takes care of most of the things I used to do.

Getting up early to prepare Koko’s meals, preparing dinner ingredients for Koko in advance—I didn’t have to do any of that anymore.

And I didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving Koko alone at home to eat by herself.

…Judging by her persistent questions, Yuka seemed genuinely concerned.

“I understand that your relationship was an act,” Yuka said.

“But… if you had to put on such an act, doesn’t that mean you were essentially strangers?”

After pausing briefly, she cautiously added:

“I’m wondering if you’re still acting now.”

“…”

It’s not an act.

Honestly, Kagami wasn’t entirely comfortable. There was something I had promised Kagami but still hadn’t fulfilled.

Yet Kagami was treating me like I was really her daughter.

It felt somewhat uncomfortable, as if it was just one-sided kindness.

Rationally, I understood it was because Kagami was in the position of being my mother, but a part of my mind still couldn’t accept her in that role.

“There’s no need to worry too much.”

Before I could answer, Kagami spoke first.

“I’m sincere.”

“Sincere?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be sincere? These two are all I have left.”

Strictly speaking, she still had her cult group.

But the “remaining existence” Kagami referred to probably didn’t mean that.

“…”

Even Yuka couldn’t respond to Kagami’s words.

“I know I deserve to be asked why I’m doing this now.”

As Yuka remained silent, Kagami slowly continued.

“The hitting and harsh treatment was an act, but my actions before that were real. Kotone being abandoned in an empty room, and Koko being inside the refrigerator—these all happened because of me. I didn’t even think of them as my real daughters.”

A small sigh was heard.

“So honestly, if you said you couldn’t forgive me right now, I’d have no excuse. The only reason I can be here is because the two people living here allow me to be.”

“…”

Yuka remained silent, but her breathing trembled slightly.

It seemed she hadn’t intended to go that far with her questions.

She probably hadn’t expected Kagami to speak so openly in her presence.

I was a bit perplexed too. Why was Kagami telling Yuka all this? Their relationship wasn’t that close. It would have made more sense if I had said these things to Yuka.

But the reason became clear with Kagami’s next words.

“You’re the one who helped these two children the most while I wasn’t doing what I should have been doing.”

Kagami said.

“Almost everything in this room came from your house.”

Even the blankets we were under right now.

“It wasn’t the mother but a friend who saved a child abandoned in an empty place. I think… I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“…”

Yuka seemed a bit flustered and said nothing.

She probably never imagined hearing such words from Kagami.

“You might wonder if I’ve had a change of heart, but I’m not sure.”

Whether we spoke or not, Kagami spoke in a voice that seemed to be looking at something distant.

“I think I’m still just me, now as I was then. Just a person with some kind of longing, somehow deficient.”

She had finally found what she wanted, and was now trying to have it—that’s probably what she meant.

Just as the previous Kagami had moved that way.

“It’s quite different from you, who acted almost entirely out of goodwill.”

“…No.”

Yuka replied.

“Even if it was goodwill, I still used Kotone’s power, and that hasn’t changed.”

What’s going on?

Why is there a sense of mutual understanding forming between them?

And being caught in the middle of that understanding, I couldn’t bring myself to join the conversation. It felt like both of them were indirectly apologizing to me in a strange way.

I decided to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

“…”

Then the conversation between the two stopped.

Had they been watching me?

Fortunately, Koko had fallen asleep during the conversation and was breathing evenly.

In the end, I fell asleep that night feeling awkward with my whole body.

*

The next day.

We all gathered in our room early in the morning.

It would be troublesome to have breakfast separately.

“…This is delicious.”

Yuu muttered with a somewhat disgruntled expression after eating some miso soup.

“I know. I thought she wouldn’t know anything about this kind of thing.”

Fukuda said.

“Simple cooking is easy to learn with a little practice. I could teach you if you’d like.”

“…I’m fine, thanks. I already cook for my dad every day.”

Fukuda sighed deeply as she spoke.

Her expression was incredibly complex. Was she still thinking about that “possibility”?

Actually, I found it hard to imagine Kagami treating Fukuda like a daughter.

As Kagami said last night, she was here because she wanted something.

And what she wanted was a family relationship.

With the daughter she gave birth to.

If she had simply wanted a family, she would have gotten married long ago.

I think she could have been a good mother to Fukuda too if she had wanted to, but the fact that she didn’t want to in the first place made it a non-starter.

Or could she perhaps date someone?

“Is there something on my face?”

“…No, it’s nothing.”

I had been staring at Kagami’s face without realizing it.

I lowered my gaze back to my rice bowl after seeing Kagami’s reaction.

Mako looked back and forth between me and Kagami, then cautiously spoke up.

“You two are really mother and daughter, right?”

That careful voice drew the attention of everyone eating. Including Kagami and me.

“…Yeah, well…”

I answered with some hesitation, while

“Yes, that’s right.”

Kagami answered with a bright smile.

Mako looked more surprised by Kagami’s response than mine.

“Ah, I see…”

Mako seemed to think she shouldn’t press further and tried to end the conversation, but

“Does something seem strange?”

Kagami asked her.

It wasn’t an accusatory tone, but it was a question that was awkward to answer in many ways.

Of course it would seem strange.

Just look at how we talk to each other.

I speak casually to Kagami, but Kagami speaks formally to me. Although there’s a bit of playfulness in her words, the basic vocabulary she uses is extremely respectful.

Isn’t that a rare combination for a mother-daughter relationship?

Plus, Mako had already seen Kagami treating me badly. But after that, she only saw Kagami’s changed behavior.

So she must be confused.

“Well…”

But who could say that to her face?

“Then I suppose we need to get a bit closer.”

Kagami said, looking at me.

“Isn’t it about time we sorted out how we address each other?”

“…”

I glared at Kagami.

She’s clearly enjoying this.

When I didn’t respond, Kagami didn’t push me further.

In the end, we finished our meal quietly.

*

Naturally, Koko and I were the last ones to leave the room.

If we left first, it would be incredibly awkward for the others waiting to exit through the small door of this room.

“…”

As I crouched down, petting Kuro who was finally rubbing against my legs after getting up, I felt a gaze on the back of my head.

When I turned around, it was Kagami.

She was staring at me as I petted Kuro.

Why?

Usually, I do greet her when leaving for school. I at least wave my hand, if not saying “I’m off” properly.

And Kagami comes all the way outside to see us off.

From the outside, we looked like a picture-perfect family.

It was funny how our formal speech patterns had completely reversed.

“Woo?”

When Kagami shifted her gaze to Koko, Koko tilted her head curiously.

After staring at Koko for a while, Kagami suddenly spread her arms wide.

Koko tilted her head for a moment as she looked at Kagami, then slowly went over and hugged her.

Kagami hugged Koko tightly with a happy expression.

Somehow, Koko seems to be getting more comfortable with Kagami as time passes.

Perhaps influenced by Kuro, whom we raise together, Koko has some strangely cat-like qualities. Of course, she has much less wariness than a real cat, so sometimes she feels more like a dog.

Because of that, she really enjoys being petted. She also likes being hugged. As long as it’s not someone Kuro is wary of.

She seems to have completely let go of her wariness toward Kagami. Since that outing when she hugged Kagami, she’s been hugging her without any resistance.

Unlike earlier when Kagami was staring at me, now I was staring at the two of them.

Kagami noticed this and freed one arm, extending it toward me.

Is she asking me to join them?

“…”

I hesitated for a moment.

I do think of us as family. I know how hard Kagami is trying to get closer to us.

But…

Hmm.

Somehow, the conversations from last night and this morning are bothering me.

Even if I consider us family, it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t show it.

There’s nothing more meaningless than saying you’re friends with someone when you’re not actually close.

The kids who came to my funeral were the ones who truly mourned my death.

Kagami was among them.

She sat closest to the coffin, her face tear-stained, looking dazed.

I vividly remember the moment our eyes met.

Her desire to bring me back to life, even at the cost of the world, must have been sincere.

In my previous life, I wasn’t particularly affectionate with my family. Not that I disliked them or had an awkward relationship.

Given my personality, I couldn’t easily express my affection. I fought with my sibling more often than we had pleasant conversations.

And then I lost them.

“…”

The smile on Kagami’s face was turning bitter.

Her raised hand slowly lowered. Was she giving up again today?

Probably.

You can’t force someone to be close if they don’t want to be.

Until now, whenever Kagami did something for me, I would make a sullen face, keep some distance, or feel burdened.

After experiencing that several times, any confidence would disappear.

I slowly got up from my seat.

“Meow?”

When my hand suddenly left its head, Kuro, who had been purring contentedly, looked up at me and meowed.

I turned around and walked a bit stiffly toward Kagami.

Then I slipped into her open arm.

Kagami’s eyes widened for a moment.

Thinking I’d done something wrong, I tried to pull away quickly, but Kagami’s arm was already around my back.

Kagami hugged both Koko and me tightly with both arms.

She didn’t say anything.

She just held us for a long time, as if wishing this moment would continue forever.

By the time she finally let go, the parts of my body that had been in contact with hers felt strangely warm.

I could tell my face was bright red without having to see it.

Kagami was looking at me with her usual expression.

It was strangely annoying, but then I noticed the slight trembling at the end of her eyebrow.

“…”

I turned away silently.

Since we’d already hugged today, there was probably no need for a morning greeting.

“Kotone?”

When I suddenly turned to leave, Koko quickly said that and followed me.

“Meow.”

Kuro, who had been looking up at me until then, meowed like that, so I quickly turned around again, crouched down, and whispered “I’ll be back” while petting Kuro.

Then I stood up immediately and turned around without making eye contact with Kagami.

I made direct eye contact with the kids who were peering in from beyond the door.

They all had their eyebrows curved downward, making their expressions subtle, but they were all simultaneously smiling warmly.

Right, of course.

We had been inside for too long.

It had been long enough that they might have been curious and peeked back in.

“Have a good day.”

Kagami said from behind.

Without looking back, I just waved my hand casually and left the house.

Oh, right. I had thought no further greeting was necessary, but I forgot.

During the hour-long subway ride, all the kids stared at my face so intensely that it’s a miracle I didn’t explode.

…In the end, we didn’t sort out how to address each other.

But somehow, I felt like…

Someday, we would be able to.

That was the kind of morning it was.