Ch.187187. The Answer

“Haam.”

In the early dawn.

Hansen, who woke up scratching his belly, feels a tingling in his lower body and opens his heavy eyes.

His bladder felt like it would burst at any moment, but he was too lazy to get up.

He thought about just holding it in and going back to sleep, but remembering how he once wet the bed doing that, he sighed and got up.

“Ow.”

His head throbbed as if hammered. He was paying the price for drinking expensive liquor with women on either side at the bar, thanks to winning quite a bit of money from a good hand yesterday.

He’d definitely heard that expensive liquor doesn’t cause hangovers.

Could the bottle and its contents have been different?

The suspicious Hansen entered the bathroom with these thoughts.

A little while later.

After relieving himself, Hansen came out of the bathroom scratching his messy hair vigorously.

The dark interior of the house wasn’t clearly visible, but he’d been here countless times and it wasn’t large enough to get lost in.

As Hansen was about to return to his room, he gave a puzzled look at the door directly opposite.

His girlfriend’s room.

A place they had planned to use for their future child.

But now they didn’t even talk to each other, and they’d been using separate rooms for quite some time.

They managed their money separately and rarely saw each other’s faces.

It wasn’t that they stayed together because of any lingering affection.

Neither had anywhere else to live if they left this house.

Their relationship had already dulled, and they were just uncomfortable roommates out of necessity.

If there was anything fortunate, it was that they hadn’t had a child.

“Hmm?”

The room of his girlfriend, who could now be called a stranger.

Hansen looked puzzled at the open door.

Had the door been open when he went to the bathroom just now?

A question that normally would have been ignored due to his hangover now lingered in his mind.

He slowly reached out his hand and peeked into the room.

It didn’t mean anything special.

Just in case a thief had broken in.

“Keu, eck! Kieuk!”

His girlfriend’s voice sounded like she was exhaling sharply. And his eyes had just adjusted to the darkness.

The silhouette of his girlfriend lying down.

And something on her stomach began to writhe and spurt out.

At first it looked like tree roots, but gradually it began to take the shape of a person.

Thud thud thud.

It turned its head sharply and lunged at Hansen, emitting a deep red glow from its eyes.

* * *

It feels like quite a long time has passed, but the winter break at Robern Academy hasn’t even ended yet.

With classes starting in spring in March, it’s now mid-January after the new year in Norsweden.

I had returned to Robern ahead of the others.

Elenoa Luden Griffin had gone back earlier for the year-end banquet in the capital, Greyfond, and Aria Rius had also returned to her hometown to spend the new year with her parents.

I thought it would be better for Illuania and Sevia to stay in Norsweden rather than Robern.

So our party consisted of me, Findenai, Owen, and Erika Bright.

Erika, who didn’t bother returning to her family estate in Violen and came back to Robern with me, was now in my research lab.

The pink-haired professor, Per Petra, who had spent the new year locked in her research lab despite the lecture-free vacation, carefully stood to my right.

“How is it?”

I slowly move the right hand she attached for me. It feels remarkably like my own hand, perhaps because it responds to mana.

Not only does it move as I wish, but the sense of touch is alive, and I can feel the cool air of the laboratory through my right hand.

It was a moment that made me realize once again how remarkable Professor Per Petra is.

“Amazing. It feels not much different from a real hand.”

Compared to my left hand, the vitality and sensation feel somewhat dulled, but only slightly.

It was worlds apart from having a mannequin-like hand attached.

“Since it has sensation, you’ll feel pain too. I deliberately reduced the sensitivity in case of accidents.”

“…”

“Pro-Professor Deus Verdi tends to do a lot of rough work, after all.”

“So if you maximize the sensitivity, it becomes almost identical to a hand?”

Erika, who had been listening quietly beside me, tilted her head and asked, causing Professor Per to scratch the back of her unkempt hair with a nervous laugh.

“It’s impossible to make it perfect, but I’m trying to make it as similar as possible.”

Professor Per’s voice loses strength and her tone rises when talking to Erika, unlike when she talks to me.

It seems that since Erika was the one who brought her to Robern Academy, she has become someone Per considers close.

Leaving the two to start their conversation about prosthetic limbs, I examine my right hand.

I turn it this way and that, poke it with my left hand, and press it firmly with my fingernail.

The sensation is foreign but definitely there.

I know Professor Per dreams of creating the perfect prosthetic and continues her research.

If this continues…

“…”

I slowly turn my head.

Invisible to Erika and Per, the Dark Spiritmaster and Stella stare intently at my right hand from either side of me.

[It’s fascinating.]

[If I had met you when I was alive, I would have received much help.]

“If…”

I unconsciously opened my mouth to the two of them, but quickly closed it, thinking it was too hasty.

But the Dark Spiritmaster and Stella found this strange and tilted their heads, looking at me.

[What is it?]

[Is there a problem?]

“…No, it’s nothing.”

I shook my head in response, and though they looked puzzled, they let it go for now.

After finishing the adjustment of my right hand and hearing precautions from Per, the professor made a somewhat unexpected request.

“By the way, may I ask you for a favor?”

“Of course.”

I thought there was nothing I couldn’t do for her, considering she had given me a right hand prosthesis without charging any fee.

But Professor Per made a rather unexpected request.

* * *

“Ahem, ahem.”

Erika clears her throat awkwardly.

She said she’d go to her room for a moment, and came back having changed clothes—not her usual lecture suit, but a white blouse and a black skirt that reached her ankles.

The corset attached to the blouse tightly accentuated her previously hidden figure.

“We’re just going to buy dessert.”

“Ah, I know.”

Erika slides up next to me, maintaining a distance where our arms might touch.

Professor Per had asked us to go into town to test the prosthetic hand and buy her some dessert.

Erika had brought desserts to the lab a few times before, and Per seemed to have liked them quite a bit.

Since only Erika knew the location of the shop, naturally she and I ended up going together.

“Um, are the Dark Spiritmaster and Saintess Stella nearby?”

I shook my head at her cautious question.

“The Dark Spiritmaster is showing Stella around the academy.”

Since it was Stella’s first time at Robern Academy, the Dark Spiritmaster was giving her a tour, shrugging her shoulders.

I remembered how Stella had smiled with her eyes, saying she was cute and to just leave her be.

“What about Findenai?”

It felt like she was checking things off a list, but I continued to answer.

“She’s cleaning the room.”

“She does that kind of thing?”

Well, she is a maid, so of course she would. Though she did grumble about why she had to do such things.

With Illuania gone, she probably took Owen along to help her.

The breeze around us is cool.

Thinking it might be too cold to wear just a blouse, I glanced at Erika and noticed a golden butterfly perched on her shoulder.

It seemed to have settled there at some point, and a warm, fluffy energy was emanating from it.

“A spirit?”

“Ah, yes. As you said, spirits and I have good compatibility.”

In the game, Erika becomes quite a valuable ally in the latter half when she starts handling spirit magic.

Since I knew this, I had told her about it a bit earlier.

“…”

“…”

We walked in silence for a few minutes.

I didn’t particularly feel awkward, but Erika’s expression was hidden by her hair, so I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

We just maintained an appropriate distance, our hands occasionally brushing past each other.

“Come to think of it, I had something I was curious about while lecturing.”

I realized there were a few things I wanted to ask her as a professor while conducting lectures.

I hadn’t had time to think about such trivial matters, but now that I had some leisure, they naturally came to mind.

Erika hesitated for a moment, then answered without looking at me.

“Can I ask later?”

“It’s nothing major. We have time, so you can at least hear me out.”

It’s just making use of our spare time, isn’t it?

I don’t know how long it takes to get to the dessert shop, but I thought it would be good to use our time efficiently.

“…I don’t want to talk about work during a date.”

Stop.

My footsteps halted involuntarily, and after a few more steps, Erika’s stopped as well.

I was about to say that I hadn’t thought of it that way at all.

But seeing Erika trying to hide her reddened face despite her embarrassment, I couldn’t help but close my mouth.

“I was… inconsiderate.”

Since I’m not good at these things, I apologized honestly, and Erika responded with a bitter smile, her face still flushed.

“I know you have feelings for someone else.”

“…”

“But you’re still not certain about those feelings, are you?”

Like testing stepping stones before crossing a stream.

I needed a firm understanding of the emotions that had come to me.

Because.

The feelings I harbor for Findenai.

The feelings I harbor for Erika.

The feelings I harbor for Stella.

They were all different.

I couldn’t help but be confused, and while they all had similar qualities, I wasn’t sure which one was romantic love.

Using the love that Deus Verdi left behind for Illuania as a reference, I was slowly examining my own feelings.

“Right now, I’m unable to make a judgment to choose just one person.”

“…”

“And even if I find an answer, I don’t intend to have a relationship beyond that with anyone for the next four years, to prepare for the future.”

“Four years…”

Erika murmured, repeating my words. A year has passed, and the first-year students have become second-years.

To prevent the continent’s destruction, I needed to set aside personal emotions.

“I won’t make excuses even if you think it’s unsightly. If you want to break off the engagement, I’ll send the annulment papers right away.”

Erika had returned the annulment papers to me during the last festival.

“I am an inadequate person, so I need certainty in my emotions.”

“If I said I disliked you for that, would you really just let me go?”

Erika slowly reached out and grabbed my collar. I wouldn’t normally have understood, but somehow I felt I knew the meaning behind this gesture.

Disappointment.

Perhaps that’s why.

“The joy I feel when I’m with Findenai, I think it might be love.”

“…”

“That’s why I intended to keep my distance from others. I didn’t want to hurt anyone by giving false hope.”

I gave an answer that was somewhat unlike me.

“But.”

“…”

“This warm time I’m spending with you now. I think it might also be love.”

“…!”

“I’m sorry.”

I had to apologize because I knew I might cause her pain.

But it wasn’t a lie.

The feelings Deus had for Illuania included both what I’ve felt for Findenai and what I’ve felt for Erika.

“If it hurts you, you can leave me anytime.”

“And what if.”

One step.

Erika came closer.

Her hand was still firmly gripping my collar.

“I leave, and then you realize it was love?”

If.

What if I realized I actually loved Erika.

But she had already forgotten me and found another lover.

After thinking for a moment, I looked at her intently and answered.

“I once read in a book that unrequited love is like a sparrow.”

“A sparrow? That’s random.”

“It appears suddenly as you walk down the street, but you can’t catch it.”

“…”

“I would probably suddenly think of you and regret not having caught you.”

It wasn’t hard to imagine.

If Erika distanced herself from me, such a future seemed entirely possible.

“Looking at the sky, I would hope that you are flying beautifully.”

“…”

“Whatever choice you make, I would wish for your happiness.”

An honest answer.

This is the only certainty I can offer right now.

In response to my answer—that I would open my hands and let her go even if she spread her wings and flew away—Erika took another step closer.

Now standing very close, Erika took a deep breath and glared at me coldly.

“Can I hit you just once?”

“As much as you want.”

Thinking I deserved it, I slowly closed my eyes.

Whoosh!

Erika grabbed my nape and pulled me strongly.

Squeeze.

A soft sensation on my nape along with hard teeth.

For some reason, I realized that Erika had kissed my nape and left a mark.

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s more of a sting.”

“But it left a mark.”

She was right.

When I placed my hand on my nape, that part felt swollen and raised.

“I don’t know what the outcome will be. You might realize your feelings and go to someone else, not me.”

I didn’t deny it because it wasn’t wrong.

The situation seemed to form in her mind, as Erika’s eyes became moist, but she maintained her smile nonetheless.

Then she grabbed my jacket with both hands, as if to prevent me from escaping anywhere.

“The pain at that time would remain bitterly within me, but that too would be evidence that I loved you.”

“…”

“Deus, if someone has to be hurt even a little…”

Erika, resting her forehead against my chest, whispered softly.

“It will be me.”

“Erika.”

“So you find your answer. Don’t hesitate, don’t be afraid of causing pain.”

There was a sob mixed in, but her voice wasn’t one of crying.

I couldn’t see her expression, but I could feel the resolution that had overcome the pathos.

“Whatever answer you come up with, you will be happy.”