Ch.186Who Am I? (2)

It’s a trite sentence, but for a transcendent being, the most important thing is to have confidence in oneself. The power of a transcendent comes from an unwavering self and firm mental image, so self-confidence is truly a virtue of the transcendent.

In Merlin’s case, the problem seemed to be that she had a bit too much of that confidence, but whatever.

Najin had no intention of denying that opinion.

He had witnessed too much clear evidence to deny it. The Helm Knight who had forgotten himself became a transcendent again the moment he remembered who he was. Gerd gained his 8th star the moment he became certain his sword was right.

Self. Certainty. The realization that one was right.

That is the essence of stars and transcendent beings. Najin believed this, and because he believed it, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the single line written on the tombstone.

“Who, am I?”

A question that seemed to be asking someone.

Whoever wrote this sentence deliberately placed a comma between “Who” and “am I,” separating the words when they could have been written together as “Who am I?”

What was contained in that comma?

Najin wondered about this.

2.

“Merlin.”

“Hmm? Why are you calling me?”

Merlin looked at Najin while chewing with her mouth full of bread. Najin gestured to her. It meant let’s talk after you finish eating that.

“I’m done eating. What is it?”

“Do you know anything about the Kingdom of Cassel?”

The tombstone had “Hero of the Kingdom of Cassel, Viola Ordina” written on it. A nation that existed roughly 500-600 years ago. That was all the information Najin knew about the Kingdom of Cassel.

“That it was a kingdom that fell about 560 years ago?”

“Anything else?”

“I know that its downfall was caused by a dragon. The evil dragon Ladon? I think that was it.”

A kingdom destroyed by a dragon.

Najin rubbed his chin and made a thoughtful sound.

“Then what’s the purpose of this Star’s Tomb? Is it just a dream that constellations have? Just displaying a constellation’s dream without any particular reason?”

“There is a reason.”

Merlin tore a freshly baked piece of bread.

Steam rose from the bread.

“If it were just about dreaming, why make an entrance? If it were just for display, how could we interact with someone else in this dream?”

Merlin said while chewing her bread.

“The Star’s Tomb, the dream of a constellation? It’s there because someone is waiting to be awakened. They want someone to wake them from this never-ending sweet dream, to end this dream, to make choices for them that they couldn’t make themselves.”

It’s regret, lingering attachment, and also escape.

Merlin’s expression looked somewhat bitter as she said this.

“It’s similar to what you’ve been doing all along.”

“Similar how?”

“You’ve been giving knights endings they’re satisfied with. It’s similar to that. If you give the owner of this dream an ending they’re satisfied with, or at least one they can accept, the dream will end.”

Of course, she said.

“There is a simpler method, right? Just shattering the dream with overwhelming power.”

“That’s a bit…”

“Right? And to be able to do that, you’d need to be at least at my level. A great constellation with 11 stars…”

“If you keep doing that, I’ll do that thing again. Who am I?”

“Ah, alright. I won’t brag.”

Merlin, who had been subjected to mirror therapy for the past few days, hastily stopped boasting. She shared a nicely torn piece of bread with Najin. The bread tasted quite good.

“It’s a dream, but taste, touch, all senses feel normal.”

“It’s called a dream, but it’s no different from reality. If you die here, you really die.”

“So what should we do now?”

“First, we need to find out, right? How this dream flows, and what lingering attachment the owner of this dream has.”

Najin and Merlin’s gazes naturally turned toward the Great Temple. At the edge of the Great Temple built on a cliff sat a woman with jet-black hair.

The hero of the Kingdom of Cassel, Viola Ordina.

She spent most of her day sitting there, watching the sun rise and set. With such a gloomy expression that anyone who saw her would feel depressed.

“She looks really down.”

“I know. Isn’t a dream supposed to be happy? She doesn’t look happy at all.”

“Not necessarily. Some constellations lock themselves in tombs to punish themselves.”

“What weirdos.”

“…”

“Why that expression?”

“It’s nothing. By the way, aren’t you curious about the reward? What you’ll get for ‘clearing’ a constellation’s dream.”

It was obvious she was hastily changing the subject, but Najin didn’t mind. Merlin must have things she doesn’t want to talk about too. Najin went along with the topic.

“What do you get?”

“Star Relics.”

Star Relics, Najin had heard of them before. Objects created by absorbing the starlight of constellations, comparable to masterpieces. If he had to classify it, Najin’s Excalibur was half a Star Relic. It was a sword completed as Arthur’s star.

“Given how amazing the reward is, it can’t be easy to clear, right? You don’t necessarily have to approach it with the mindset of ‘I must clear this.’ If you don’t see a solution, you can just leave. I’ll leave that choice to you.”

Merlin pointed to a stone monument erected in the center of the city. Simply touching that monument would allow them to escape from this dream.

“…”

A dream you can leave anytime.

Najin’s gaze turned toward the Great Temple. Except for when Najin first set foot in this dream, Viola hadn’t given him even a glance.

She just sat there, watching the sun rise and set.

For some reason, Najin couldn’t help but be bothered by those eyes that seemed completely devoid of warmth. In any case, there was nothing they could know right now. They would have to wait and see.

“Hmm, hmm hmm.”

For a while, Najin walked around with Merlin.

Merlin walked in a peculiar way, not firmly planting her feet on the ground. She walked as if bouncing on her feet. With each step she took, her clothes and blue hair swayed.

She walked lightly, as if she had no weight. Walking like that, Merlin looked happier than ever. Humming a tune, Merlin pulled on Najin’s arm.

“This! How about this?”

She brought a poster.

It was a poster promoting a play, with the title “Glory to Ordina” written on it. Pointing at those letters, Merlin’s eyes sparkled.

“Ordina is the owner of this dream, right? Watching this will definitely help us gather information. What do you think? Good idea, right?”

It seemed more like Merlin just wanted to see it rather than gather information. Najin smiled and nodded.

“Yes, let’s go see it.”

Seeing Merlin smile brightly at his response, Najin suddenly thought that Merlin looked “young.” There seemed to be quite a gap between the Merlin from fairy tales and heroic sagas and the blue-haired girl in front of him.

A personality true to her appearance.

She retained a personality that matched her appearance as a girl, not as a mythical age magician who had lived for a thousand years. It was a thought he had occasionally, but Najin often felt a sense of dissonance with Merlin’s demeanor.

Who is Merlin?

A great magician from the mythical age who has witnessed and experienced countless things, a magician worn down by life. But Najin didn’t feel that from Merlin. She seemed more simple, emotional, and girlish.

‘Perhaps.’

A speculation flashed through Najin’s mind. But it merely flashed by, and Najin didn’t dwell deeply on that possibility.

“Let’s go quickly!”

Merlin, who was walking ahead, turned around.

Her blue hair sparkled in the sunlight. Brushing back her blue hair, Merlin smiled. It was a pure, clear smile.

Najin nodded and erased his thoughts.

Well, isn’t it better this way?

Between a great magician from the mythical age who seems detached and transcendent about everything, and this energetic and sometimes clumsy Merlin, if Najin had to choose one as a guide, he would choose the latter without hesitation.

“Yes, let’s go.”

3.

A play with Viola Ordina as the protagonist.

Sitting in the theater with Merlin, Najin couldn’t focus on the content of the play. His guide sitting next to him was too distracting.

“Wow…”

When an actor immersed in their role recited a speech, Merlin opened her mouth in awe.

GROOOOOOAR!

When an actor imitating an evil dragon roared loud enough to blow away the audience, she flinched and trembled. When she choked on a snack and started hiccupping, even Najin couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Hic, don’t, hic, laugh. Don’t laugh!”

“Drink some water. Water.”

Patting Merlin’s back, Najin handed her water. After gulping down the water, she focused on the play again as if nothing had happened.

“Hey, wasn’t that really good? The acting was great. Even though I’m not particularly fond of plays, this one was definitely…”

Even after the play ended, Merlin talked about it for a long time at the café. She spread her arms wide to imitate the actors and chattered non-stop.

“Merlin.”

“Yes? What?”

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Suddenly?”

“Just. You look like you’re having fun.”

“Of course I am! It’s been so long since I’ve moved my body like this. And it’s been even longer since I’ve mingled with people and talked like this.”

How long has it been, Najin asked.

“A thousand years.”

“…”

“Ah, of course I’ve been with you… but I didn’t have a body then, right? And that was far from ‘walking’ together with you. I was just hitching a ride with you.”

“That’s true.”

“Actually, that’s what I regret the most. Sometimes I imagine: what if I wasn’t a constellation, or a great magician, but just a magician starting her journey? What would that have been like?”

Merlin spoke with her eyes closed, as if imagining.

“I’m looking for a swordsman to be my companion in Cambria. Magicians and swordsmen have always been a pair. They can cover each other’s weaknesses. So, I’m looking for an excellent swordsman… and then I happen to meet you.”

“And then?”

“Then, I go on quests with you. At first, we’d bicker, right? ‘That’s not how you do it,’ ‘We should do it this way.’ But we’d adjust to each other, even while grumbling.”

That’s how we’d travel.

Together, slowly, step by step.

“Your growth is incredibly fast, but I wouldn’t fall too far behind, you know? I reached the 6th circle when I was about nineteen. I might even be ahead of you.”

“That could be the case.”

“Right. That’s how we’d grow together. Fighting strong enemies, exploring unknown lands, sometimes I’d push you forward, and other times you’d pull me along…”

Together, side by side, growing together and moving forward.

As she was telling this story, Merlin opened her eyes.

“That’s what I regret.”

Her gaze lowered.

“Instead of walking side by side with you, I have to wait for you at that distant destination. My role isn’t to walk with you, but to guide you there. That’s what I regret, really.”

So that’s why she looks so happy now.

Najin thought he could understand why Merlin seemed so excited. It wasn’t simply because she had a body. It was because she was reduced to the same level as him, enjoying being in the same position rather than looking down from above.

“What’s there to regret?”

“Huh?”

Najin shrugged.

“I’ll be where Merlin is soon enough. Do you know I’ve been traveling for less than 2 years?”

“That’s… true.”

“Who am I?”

Najin curled up the corners of his mouth.

“The youngest 4-star. The youngest Sword Seeker. The youngest Free Knight. And…”

“Stop, please stop that…!”

Merlin, her face turning red with embarrassment, reached out to cover Najin’s mouth, but Najin caught her wrist and finished his sentence.

“The youngest to enter Camlann, the youngest to subjugate the Black Dragon, the youngest to subjugate a witch, ah, I’m just going to claim all the ‘youngest’ titles. Every single one.”

Merlin stared at Najin.

Najin met her gaze and smiled.

“You said you’re waiting at the destination, right? What destination is that? That’s Arthur’s destination, not mine.”

“Hmm.”

Merlin snorted. But it wasn’t a dismissive snort like when she first met Najin, but more like a “go on, keep talking” kind of laugh.

“The place where you’re waiting isn’t the destination, but a turning point, right? The turning point where I completely surpass Arthur. We can be together from there, so what’s the problem?”

“Together? You mean, side by side?”

“Yes, side by side.”

Najin said this while looking at Merlin.

By now, he expected her to mutter, “You sure know how to talk,” but today, that response didn’t come.

“…”

Merlin just stared at Najin.

Merlin’s gaze, which was always clear, was a bit hazy at that moment. As if enchanted by something. As if in a daze.

“Merlin?”

“Huh? Ah, yes. Yes. That’s right.”

Only when Najin called did Merlin come to her senses. Merlin hastily turned her gaze away. Her ears were slightly red. Najin tilted his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, nothing. It’s nothing.”

Why is she suddenly acting like that?

Looking at Merlin who was covering her mouth and avoiding eye contact, Najin tilted his head. Since Merlin was no longer inside Najin’s mind, there was no way to know what emotions she was feeling or what thoughts she was having.

Dong.

Just as Najin was wondering about this.

Dong, dong, dong…

The sound of bells began to ring throughout the city. As the bell sound that started from the Great Temple circled the city once.

A shadow fell over the entire Kingdom of Cassel.

It wasn’t an artificial shadow created by demonic powers, magic, or mysteries. It was simply a shadow created by something massive blocking the sun. Najin and Merlin naturally looked up at the sky.

The being once called the lord of the skies in the distant past.

A dragon was there.

The evil dragon, Ladon.

The evil dragon that cast a shadow over the kingdom roared.