Ch.185Single-minded Devotion

Serena emerged from her reverie.

Her body felt incredibly comfortable. The pain from her battered limbs and the screams of her overworked muscles were no longer present.

‘Am I… dead?’

That was her first thought, but she quickly reconsidered. Yes, she might be dead. Serena hadn’t jumped to this conclusion without reason.

The excruciating pain that had been spreading throughout her body until moments ago had vanished completely, and she found herself abandoned in a place she couldn’t recognize at all.

Logically speaking, it would make sense to assume she had died and fallen into the afterlife.

But Serena changed her mind because of the warm comfort enveloping her entire body. This was certainly an emotion she couldn’t have felt if she were dead.

That warmth and comfort she felt when pressed against her lord’s body. If she had died and fallen into hell, she couldn’t possibly experience the same sensation.

The last thing she remembered was Olivia swinging her greatsword at her, about to sever her fingers, and then losing consciousness while hearing the faint pulsation of her soul.

That was Serena’s final memory. She had no idea where she was, what this place was, or why she had come here. All she could see was a completely white landscape.

So Serena just walked. Without direction, she walked wherever her feet took her. Direction didn’t matter. She had no destination. She simply walked.

No matter how far she went, the scenery never changed. The same view repeated endlessly. A place so white, so uniformly white that an ordinary person would lose their mind and go insane before long.

For Serena, it was simply white, nothing more.

‘….’

After walking for some time, a dilapidated house came into view.

It was barely worthy of being called a house—a rickety structure resembling a hut made of crudely assembled old boards that looked like it might collapse at any moment.

Serena’s eyes filled with memories as she gazed at the building. She knew this house. She had to know it, had to remember it. She must never forget it or let it slip from her memory.

This was Serena’s only sanctuary, the place where she could put down all her burdens and rest—the home where she and her mother had lived together.

She stepped forward without hesitation. Serena wasn’t quite sure why she was doing this. She just felt strongly that she needed to enter that place. Besides, there was nowhere else to go.

As she approached the house, its deplorable condition became increasingly apparent—the ceiling that leaked whenever it rained, the holes between the wooden boards that let the wind seep through.

Those weren’t times she could call good, even as a polite lie, but they were still memories shared with her mother. Serena bit her lip slightly as she moved toward the door.

She pushed forward the makeshift door—a clumsy assembly of discarded wooden planks—with minimal force, afraid of breaking it. With a creaking sound, the boards opened, revealing the interior.

As soon as she entered the building, familiar musty odors and various unpleasant smells assaulted her nose. None of them should be present in a proper home, but she had grown accustomed to them long ago and simply endured.

The first thing her blue eyes saw was a young girl sitting blankly on a worn-out bed.

Matted, tangled hair and grimy skin, tiny hands like fern leaves, and skinny limbs. Clothes so tattered that there was no place left to mend with a needle.

“You are…”

That girl was Serena from the past. The Serena who had no hope in sight and struggled just to survive each day, who prayed every morning that her mother would still be alive when she opened her eyes.

Perhaps hearing footsteps entering the house, or for some other reason, the girl raised her head. Two pairs of blue eyes stared at each other.

Clear blue eyes that contrasted starkly with the dirty surroundings and her grimy body.

“How did you get here?”

The question was impolite and dripping with irritation, but Serena couldn’t answer. Hearing that voice left her speechless.

“Not going to answer? Then I have nothing to say to you either. You shouldn’t be here in the first place. So just leave.”

At first, she was going to follow those instructions and leave. She didn’t particularly want to trouble her past self. But she strongly felt that she shouldn’t do that.

So Serena decided to be stubborn.

“…Why?”

“What?”

The expression of the younger Serena, who had been dismissively gesturing for her to leave, momentarily went blank before quickly turning hostile.

“Didn’t you hear me? This is a place you shouldn’t be! Leave now!”

“You still haven’t answered my question about why I’m here. And I have no reason to leave.”

“Tsk…!”

The younger Serena’s face turned bright red as her body trembled. She jumped off the bed, ran toward Serena with pattering footsteps, and swung her fists.

“Go away! Leave! You shouldn’t be here!”

Though she seemed to be putting all her strength into her punches, Serena felt no pain. That was natural. The Serena of this era was extremely weak from all the abuse she had endured.

There was no way the Serena from that time could hurt the current Serena, who was now close to the pinnacle of power in the kingdom, no matter how hard she tried.

“Haa… haa…”

The punching continued for a while until the attacker eventually tired herself out, breathing heavily as she returned to the bed and flopped down unceremoniously.

Serena followed her past self and sat on the edge of the bed. The bed was hard, and the thin, unwashed blanket emitted a revolting smell.

“You… haa… I told you to leave… Why… won’t you… listen…!”

“I already told you. You haven’t explained why I’m here, and I have no reason to leave.”

“Oh, really!”

The younger Serena slapped Serena’s arm in frustration. After fuming to herself for a while, she seemed to calm down a bit and glared at Serena with narrowed eyes.

“…If I really tell you the reason, will you leave?”

“If I find it convincing.”

“Fine, alright! I’ll tell you, okay!”

The younger Serena grumbled with her lips protruding, then spoke as if casually tossing out the words.

“This is a place where your lingering attachments have gathered.”

“…Attachments?”

Serena blinked. The younger Serena nodded.

“Yes. Attachments.”

“Attachments to what?”

“To everything you’ve experienced in your life.”

“…”

Serena’s expression showed she still didn’t understand. Seeing the questioning look on her face, the younger Serena sighed, “Oh boy.”

“If you don’t understand, just leave. There’s no need to try to understand, and no reason why you should. You won’t gain anything by staying here long. You’ll only be negatively influenced.”

“…I can’t do that.”

“Now what?! Don’t tell me you expect me to sit here explaining things to you?! I can’t do that!”

“I need to save my lord.”

At those words, the younger Serena, who had been struggling to pull Serena off the bed with her tiny hands, froze.

“Wait, what does saving that person have to do with you refusing to leave here?”

“…I don’t know. I just feel like this is what I need to do.”

Serena answered honestly. Hearing this, the younger Serena pouted and grumbled about what kind of answer that was.

“It’s because of my inadequacy that my lord is suffering. If I had been just a little more exceptional, if I had tried just a little harder, it wouldn’t have happened. If I had been stronger, it wouldn’t have happened. If I, if I…”

Seeing Serena hanging her head and muttering self-loathing words, the younger Serena let out yet another deep sigh.

“Hey, hey!”

Slap! The younger Serena struck Serena’s cheek. It didn’t hurt, but the sharp action and sound made Serena look up in surprise.

Right in front of her was the face of her younger self, wearing an expression of utter disbelief.

“I’ll say this only once, so listen carefully, you idiot. I’m not staying here to listen to your pathetic self-loathing. I’ve been telling you, the longer you stay here, the worse it is for you. I’m your lingering attachment, remember? Do you think it’s good for a person to be trapped in their attachments, struggling? Of course not! You shouldn’t have been able to come here in the first place. You shouldn’t have come. A while ago, I thought some of the burden had been lifted, but then you show up out of nowhere. What is this, seriously?”

Though it was like being lectured by a child much younger than herself, Serena lowered her eyes and kept quiet. There was nothing wrong with what she was saying.

“So, if you’re just going to wallow in self-pity here, just leave.”

The younger Serena’s finger pointed at the worn-out door. Serena hung her head and apologized.

“I’m… sorry…”

“As long as you understand. Sheesh, you look fine on the outside, but why is your inside still like that?”

“I…”

“Wait, hold on. If you’re going to start with that ‘my lord this, my lord that’ again, just be quiet. I know enough about your lord.”

“You know?!”

Serena exclaimed in a shrill voice as she shot up. The younger Serena flinched in surprise, then frowned as if embarrassed by her reaction.

“Damn, you scared me. Your voice is so loud. Hey, you. Do you think attachments only contain negative emotions?”

“…?”

“Unspoken confessions, hidden affections, unfulfilled love. All these things are attachments too. No matter how positive the emotion, if it remains unfulfilled, it becomes an attachment. I was created from those attachments. So of course I know. All those things remain within me.”

“…”

“You love your lord, don’t you?”

At the younger Serena’s direct question, Serena carefully blushed. Seeing this, the younger Serena clicked her tongue and said, “Look at you, such a maiden in love.”

“I only have one question for you. Why do you fight?”

“Why? Of course, it’s for my lord…”

“Not that, you dummy.”

The younger Serena flicked Serena’s forehead. It didn’t hurt. Rather, the one who did the flicking was holding her hand and complaining about how hard Serena’s head was.

“Do you think I asked just to hear that thoughtless answer? Wake up. You still have room to become stronger. How you realize that potential depends on you.”

“…”

“Judging by how some attachments disappeared recently, I think you’ve become quite strong. But that’s not enough, is it? It’s not enough, and because there’s still room for you to grow stronger, you’ve shown your face in a place like this. Isn’t that right?”

Serena remained silent. It was true. Despite reaching a level where she could cut the uncuttable—reaching a realm where she could sever human actions and concepts—she had still failed to defeat that woman.

She needed to become stronger. She needed to cultivate enough power to kill that woman. To reclaim her lord—that was Serena’s wish and hope.

“That’s why you need to answer this question even more.”

The younger Serena poked Serena’s forehead with her index finger. Immediately, Serena’s consciousness flickered, and the world she had been in began to crumble.

There was no time to panic. Her consciousness sank to the depths of her mind, and her eyes closed. Before Serena’s eyes closed completely, the younger Serena asked one final question.

“What does ‘Serena Elizabeth’ fight for?”

Her soul, which had been submerged in the depths of consciousness, fully bloomed.

Serena opened her eyes.

Serena, Serena Elizabeth, firmly grasped Wind Shear, which had been about to fall from her weakened grip.

As her consciousness returned to reality, the backlash hit her. Her shattered right arm throbbed with excruciating pain, and her severed right heel ached intensely.

The pain didn’t matter.

She closed her eyes again. And recalled the question her inner self had asked. What does Serena Elizabeth fight for?

Of course, it was for her lord. That determination and commitment would never change. It was an absolute truth that had never changed and would never change.

But that was merely the reason why Serena fought as “her lord’s loyal knight.” It wasn’t the answer she was looking for. What her attachment had asked wasn’t such a simple question.

It was asking what “Serena Elizabeth” fought for. The purpose pursued by Serena Elizabeth as a woman, before being a knight to her lord.

Serena thought about it. The reason she had fought. The reason she craved power so desperately. The reason she needed to become stronger. All of these things.

That answer was already determined.

For love.

For the one love that the woman named Serena Elizabeth desired, craved, admired, and yearned for. The reason she fought was for that alone.

She took her stance holding Wind Shear. Feet shoulder-width apart, both hands extended straight and joined in front of her stomach, holding the sword at an angle.

The most basic, most fundamental stance. Stepping forward with the pivot foot, raising the sword above her head, then bringing it down vertically.

Into that stance, Serena poured her affection.

The affection of wanting to keep looking even when already looking, wanting to fulfill any wish, wanting to give everything she could possibly give.

She poured her adoration.

The shy, petal-like adoration that she couldn’t convey directly, that she could only reveal in glimpses because of her duty to show loyalty.

She poured her happiness.

The happiness that brought a smile to her face just by being near, that welled up uncontrollably in her chest whenever their eyes happened to meet.

She poured her gratitude.

Gratitude for being guided, for being saved from that hell, for being allowed to feel all these emotions.

And, she poured her love.

A love so vast that she was confident it would not be surpassed by anyone else in the world.

She concentrated all these emotions into one. She visualized in her mind all existing causality, the space connected to that causality, and everything that formed the foundation of the world.

At this moment, it wasn’t a question of whether she could cut them or not. It was a question of how to cut them. The vague somethings that existed beyond concepts were no longer fictional.

She raised her arm above her head.

The movement she performed contained no technique, no skill. Just the simple and clear motion of raising her arm to take a stance, stepping forward, and bringing the sword down vertically.

“Serena Style.”

Until now, there had never been a school of swordsmanship called the Serena Style. Serena wasn’t particularly obsessed with creating swordsmanship, nor did she have any reason to establish her own school.

But this was a technique that no one else in the world had devised, could conceive of, or could use. Therefore, it rightfully had to become a school created by Serena.

“Ultimate Technique.”

A peculiar school with only one practitioner and only one technique.

The name of this technique, which would be both the first and the last, was quietly uttered between Serena’s lips.

“Undivided Loyalty.”

Wind Shear moved.