Ch.185Epilogue. Clarifying Titles (1)

I still don’t call Kagami “mom.”

It’s not that I don’t want to… rather, I’m honestly too embarrassed.

What makes it even more embarrassing is that I once declared “I won’t call you Kagami anymore.” At that time, I was somewhat prepared to die, so that statement itself could be considered an “empty promise.”

So I still address Kagami without using any title.

And the best way to address someone without using any specific title is to avoid initiating conversation until they speak to you first. That doesn’t mean I never speak first, but naturally, the frequency of me initiating conversation has decreased.

I know this seems… like a rather poor approach.

But Kagami doesn’t seem to mind much.

As always, Kagami waited for Koko and me outside our home.

It’s been two weeks since we started living like this.

By now, I’ve somewhat developed a sense that we’re family. Living with Kagami wasn’t as uncomfortable as I’d imagined.

By the time we get home, she has the bath filled and warmed, and while we take turns bathing, she prepares dinner.

Kagami’s cooking skills, which were already quite decent when I first came home, have improved even more. They’re gradually reaching a level where I think “this could probably be sold without criticism.”

It felt a bit strange to think that her motivation for improvement came from Koko and me.

After leisurely bathing and drying myself, I came out to the smell of dinner that Kagami had prepared.

Tonight’s dinner was curry.

“Delicious!”

Koko exclaimed with sparkling eyes.

“Meow.”

Kuro, who had been eating his food, meowed upon hearing Koko’s exclamation. His gaze was directed toward the table.

Perhaps he was curious about the taste of curry?

I was worried he might jump up, but he soon lowered his head again as if uninterested and continued crunching on his cat food.

Kagami smiled affectionately at Koko. It was unmistakably the expression of a mother pleased to see her child eating well.

I stared at Kagami for a moment while following Koko’s lead and taking a spoonful of curry with rice.

The government apparently had no intention of bothering Kagami.

Kosuzu’s organization itself had collapsed. Besides the fact that Kosuzu as the central figure was gone, the organization had been gradually shrinking because Kosuzu had been using up her followers for various purposes.

The cult led by Kosuzu was different from typical cults in that money wasn’t the main objective. They “truly” had religious goals, and the followers “truly” were willing to sacrifice their lives to achieve those goals.

And in some sense, the religion was even worshipping an actual deity. From the leader to each individual follower, everyone endured pain and death with fanatical belief, and ultimately failed.

You could say it was bound to collapse.

On the other hand, Kagami’s influence remained intact.

That politician who claimed to know Kagami still seemed fine, and above all, the Yamashita family hadn’t lost any power.

While I don’t know what might happen as time passes, it seems that dealing with the complicated situation of Kagami has been pushed to the back burner while they focus on cleaning up the recent incident.

…Time freezing, preventing people from knowing why and how the incident occurred, turned out to be fortunate for Kagami.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

While wanting to be called mom, Kagami hadn’t changed her way of speaking to us at all.

“Oh, nothing.”

And I still speak informally to her.

I wasn’t the type to use formal speech with family in my previous life either.

“…What happened to your workplace?”

I decided to ask that instead of bringing up the topic of my resurrection, which would only make the atmosphere awkward.

To be honest, I was a bit curious.

Before, if I wanted to meet Kagami, I could go there, but now Kagami doesn’t go there at all.

She doesn’t leave us at home and go out either. Sometimes when I wake up at night, Kagami is sleeping beside me. For at least the past two weeks, it seems she hasn’t been running the business at all.

“Would you like me to go there?”

She answered my question with another question.

I thought about it for a moment.

While I vaguely considered Kagami as family, it was still difficult to truly think of her as my mother.

So, at this moment, I didn’t think I would be terribly bothered if Kagami went to such a place.

However—

Kagami was looking at me.

With her eyes, which usually appeared as slits, opened wider than usual.

It was supposed to be an expression of excitement or expectation, but honestly, it was a bit scary when Kagami made such a face.

“…No.”

I decided to give the answer I thought was correct.

Kagami seemed a bit happy. That’s good.

As I tried to focus on eating again, Kagami spoke to me.

“But why did you ask such a question?”

Usually, wouldn’t that question come first?

If the previous question had been one filled with expectation and a predetermined answer, this one seemed to be asked out of genuine curiosity.

“Just wondering. I might go there someday. You never know what might happen in life.”

So this time I gave a somewhat casual answer.

It was half a joke. I probably won’t ever work there. If I even mentioned wanting to work there, Yuka would rush over at full speed, smack my back, and drag me away to make me work as a shrine maiden part-time at her place instead.

“…”

But right after my answer, I felt a sticky gaze, and when I turned my head, Kagami was staring at me with a frozen smile.

Her expression was smiling, but the atmosphere wasn’t.

“Woo?”

Even Koko, who had been earnestly eating curry without paying attention to our conversation, sensed something strange and looked at Kagami.

“I’m joking, just joking.”

“I see.”

At my words, Kagami’s atmosphere slowly calmed down again.

But it didn’t return to the same atmosphere as before I made that comment.

Hmm.

I shouldn’t say such things in front of Kagami.

Well, it’s not that I don’t think of her as my mother, but Kagami truly accepts me as her real daughter.

If my daughter said something like that, I would probably react similarly.

I had some thoughts about Kagami running that establishment, but I decided to keep them to myself.

“You know, what about Mr. Fukuda and others? Won’t many people miss you? You were popular, after all.”

“Hmm… that’s true.”

Kagami thought for a moment, then suddenly looked at me and said:

“Perhaps you feel that a mother isn’t enough and you need a father too?”

I almost spat out my curry.

“Still, I’d like you to be patient with just this much for now. I don’t have any plans to get married yet.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Of course, Fukuda’s house is spacious, so it would be tempting to move in there.”

I briefly imagined myself living at Fukuda’s place.

Would Fukuda become… my sister?

I frowned.

I already can’t bring myself to call Kagami “mom,” so it would be extremely awkward if Fukuda called herself my sister.

Though she probably wouldn’t like the idea of taking me in as a younger sister anyway.

Plus, there’s her relationship with Yuu. She seems to have a lot on her mind when she looks at me. I’ve tried to talk with her several more times since then, but with Kagami and Koko by my side, and Mako and Fukuda by Yuu’s side, it hasn’t been easy to have a serious conversation.

“…No, I don’t think we need to worry about that.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.”

Was she planning to get married if I said I needed it?

Right now, I think the three of us are enough. It’s more than sufficient to occasionally have friends come over and stay.

I felt that if I continued this conversation, the topic would keep rolling in a strange direction, so I just stopped talking and focused on eating.

*

Sunday morning.

I’m not sure how many days a week people work in this country, but students attend school even on Saturdays.

Naturally, Sunday is a very important day for me. Staying up late the night before and then sleeping in on Sunday.

Still, until now, I had tried to maintain a somewhat regular lifestyle. I had part-time jobs too.

However, since Kagami started living with us, money was no longer an issue, so there wasn’t such a pressing need to work hard at part-time jobs.

After adjusting my schedule to work only three days a week on weekdays, I felt very comfortable. I especially liked finishing early on Saturday and then having all of Sunday to rest.

Although Kagami’s money still came from donations from followers, most of these followers were either related to the Yamashita family or were politicians. Now that the religion’s “goal” itself had been shattered, it was difficult for it to remain a cult.

Kagami seems to be pushing forward with the normalization of the religion that she had been promoting before. That’s probably why they’ve started gradually renovating the Kurosawa family mansion.

Perhaps she’s planning to do exorcism work. Since Kagami is handling it herself, I won’t interfere.

Back to the main point, I was planning to enjoy that comfortable Sunday.

Until Kagami shook me awake.

“Huh?”

I opened my eyes with a start and made a silly sound.

Kagami, without laughing at that sound—well, she always had a smiling face anyway—looked at me and said:

“Wake up. We have something important to do today.”

As she said this, Kagami was wearing a wide-brimmed hat on her head.

“Something important?”

When I repeated those words, still not fully awake, Kagami nodded.

Looking again, she was also wearing a white dress.

How should I put it, she gave the impression of someone who would sit in the middle of a green meadow with a picnic basket that looked like it was drawn in a picture, leisurely eating sandwiches.

Though it was unlikely since it was the end of January and the weather was cold.

“Today is the day we go out for fun.”

“…Really?”

I sat up in bed. Rubbing my eyes improved my vision a bit. I must have somewhat adapted to the light beyond my eyelids while sleeping, as it wasn’t blindingly bright.

“Is there such a day?”

I asked in a groggy voice.

As far as I know, Japan doesn’t celebrate the Lunar New Year like Korea does. Their New Year is January 1st on the solar calendar.

“There isn’t such a day.”

Kagami’s voice was quite serious.

“But I made a promise.”

I briefly searched my memory to see if I had actually made such a promise with Kagami. No, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t remember.

If Kagami had said to me “Let’s go on a picnic or something,” I would have remembered it. It would have been an extremely unusual thing to say.

“I promised myself.”

“…”

So she just didn’t tell me.

I scratched my head, yawned once, and then got up from bed unsteadily.

Well, if Kagami really wants to do it, there’s no reason not to. I enjoy having fun too.

Besides, I owed something like a debt to Kagami. During that final battle, she ran to me with a mirror and reflected my image, helping me find myself. While I was maintaining my sense of self thanks to the Sasaki siblings’ blood, without the mirror, I wouldn’t have been able to completely find myself.

When I got up, Koko was still sound asleep.

She looked cute, hugging the blanket with her mouth wide open.

Even though she looks exactly like me.

“I’ve drawn the bath for you.”

Shuddering at Kagami’s thoroughness, I went to wash up.

Despite the rustling sounds, Kuro was sprawled on the floor in a strange pose, still asleep.

I’m a bit envious.

*

Despite claiming there was a promise to go out, Kagami didn’t seem to have any specific destination in mind.

Thinking about her psychology, it seems Kagami wanted “ordinary everyday life with family.”

Not a special outing to a specific place, but a casual trip that comes up spontaneously like “Shall we go out for a bit?”

First, we looked around our neighborhood.

Although the apartment was in Kagami’s name, she apparently hadn’t explored the surrounding area.

Well, it’s hard to imagine Kagami wandering around the neighborhood without any particular purpose.

As we walked around, I gave various explanations.

About the nearby convenience store, or the reasonably priced supermarket. I was a bit impressed that Kagami already knew about the supermarket.

For some reason, Koko’s eyes sparkled as she listened to my explanations, even about places she had visited with me before.

“Shall we go to Tokyo?”

Kagami suggested after we had walked around the town once.

Since we had left early in the morning, there was still plenty of time left. Koko was in good condition, and Kuro wouldn’t cause any major trouble being home alone for a day, so I nodded and agreed.

Fortunately, the train wasn’t very crowded.

Koko, me, Kagami.

The feeling of the three of us sitting side by side, blankly looking out the window, was a bit strange.

Come to think of it, how long has it been since I felt this sensation?

An adult buying the tickets for me, being led onto the train by an adult’s hand.

I don’t need to think about anything; I can just sit quietly and be guided to a fun place.

It’s a sensation I haven’t felt for a long time.

Actually, high school students wouldn’t typically experience this—

I glanced up at Kagami sitting next to me.

Sensing my gaze, Kagami looked down at me with a very satisfied smile.

She said she wanted to be a mother.

Naturally, she would want to experience all the things she couldn’t do as a mother.

“Wow!”

And conveniently, there was still a child who retained her innocence sitting next to me.

Well, to be precise, rather than retaining innocence, she just seems naturally innocent. It hasn’t been that long since she became like this, so it’s hard to say she “retained” it.

Koko was kneeling on the seat and looking out the window, just like young children often do. She was sitting in the opposite direction from how people normally sit, kneeling on the seat.

Even though it’s a sight she sees every day, it seems different because we said we’re “going out to play.”

Well, it did look different enough. The train we were on was at a time when it would normally be crowded.

“Koko, you need to sit properly.”

“Woo.”

When I said this, Koko puffed her cheeks a bit as if slightly dissatisfied, but sat down obediently.

“…”

Feeling a strange gaze, I turned my head to see Kagami looking at me with a subtle expression.

What is it?

Could it be that she wanted to say that herself?

While she didn’t overtly puff her cheeks, the atmosphere definitely suggested so.

There was also somewhat of a… big child-like atmosphere about her.

Come to think of it, did Kagami properly graduate from school? Somehow, I feel like Kosuzu would have prevented that.

Let’s not ask and risk opening old wounds.

With that thought, I quietly turned my gaze away again.

*

The place we came to together was Odaiba.

I had visited here alone before. It was during the height of summer then, but now it’s the complete opposite.

The fact that I wasn’t alone was also the opposite.

The winter sea has its own charm.

If I were alone, it might have felt too lonely, but having people beside me makes the feeling different.

Gulp.

I took a sip of the canned coffee in my hand. Kagami had deliberately chosen a warm one for me.

In this aspect too, I felt like I was with an adult.

It was a bit awkward for me to say, but it literally felt like I had returned to my childhood.

“Kotone. Kotone.”

Koko, who was beside me, tugged at my arm.

When I turned to look, Kagami was waving at us from a short distance away. I wondered where she had disappeared to, but it seems she had been looking for something.

When Koko and I approached, Kagami said with a slightly excited expression:

“Shall we eat something?”

It was a bit early for lunch, but there was no reason not to.

Since I had decided to go along with whatever Kagami wanted to do today, I nodded readily.

The place Kagami took us to with great joy was a rather ordinary tonkatsu restaurant.

By this point, I was convinced.

Kagami was indeed yearning for “ordinariness.”

Though she didn’t particularly show it.

We were guided to our seats by the restaurant staff.

Koko and I sat side by side, with Kagami sitting across from us.

Kagami always smiled, but looking at her expression now, I felt I could distinguish between her genuine and fake smiles. There was quite a big difference in overall naturalness.

The prices were a bit higher than other places, and the food was just ordinary.

But that ordinariness was probably what Kagami desired most.

Things I had experienced, but Kagami hadn’t.

“How is it? Is it delicious?”

She asks without even touching her own food.

Her eyes were filled with expectation.

“Delicious!”

Koko exclaimed with shining eyes.

“…It’s tasty.”

When I said this with a smile, Kagami finally started eating with a satisfied expression.

“…”

I also looked at Kagami for a moment before picking up a piece of tonkatsu with my chopsticks and taking a bite.

Somehow, it tasted strangely better than when I first started eating.