Ch.182Chapter 28. Things You Should Never Do at a Funeral (2)

Koko seemed tired.

I was worried she hadn’t eaten again this time. Though not as bad as last time, her face was still pale.

…I don’t want to lose anyone again.

I’ve already lost Kotone twice, and losing Koko too would be too cruel.

Even if I was at the center of it all, even if I couldn’t be forgiven.

Yuka hugged Koko tightly.

In Yuka’s arms, Koko just sniffled, not knowing what to do. Her hands, which had been weakly hitting Yuka, now hung limply at her sides.

Judging by the weight shifting slightly, it seemed she had lost even the energy to sit up.

“I’m sorry.”

Yuka said quietly.

She had no intention of making excuses. Even if she had saved the world, Kotone was gone.

She didn’t know if things would ever be okay again, but she wanted to protect Koko at least.

When she met Kotone again someday in the distant future, she didn’t want to be too ashamed to look her in the eye.

Yuka recalled Kotone’s final words.

The things Kotone had wanted to do.

The things she never got to do.

If she did those things one by one with Koko, would Kotone be happy?

Could Koko find happiness?

It would be incredibly difficult.

Getting Koko’s forgiveness and making her happy would probably take a very long time.

But there was no other way.

She owed too much.

Yuka wasn’t qualified to represent all the survivors, but as a friend, she wanted to repay that debt as much as possible.

“I’m sorry, Koko.”

Holding Koko, who was endlessly crying, Yuka squeezed her eyes shut and said those words.

“Uuu…”

That was the sound Koko made.

“I’m sorry…”

Yuka could only apologize over and over again.

*

Kagami said nothing.

In a way, Kagami might have been the person who least belonged in this place.

How did she appear to others?

Like someone who had refused to accept her daughter’s death and was only now holding a funeral?

In a way, that might be right.

She hadn’t accepted it, had forcibly brought her back to life, and ended up killing her twice.

She couldn’t even cry.

Though the person who had stabbed Kotone was here somewhere, ultimately it was Kagami herself who had put Kotone in that position.

…If she hadn’t been born into this family, would Kotone have had any reason to die like that?

If only she hadn’t been manipulated by her sister.

If only she hadn’t had a child in the first place.

Kagami knew that was a strange thought.

If Kotone hadn’t been born, Kagami and Kotone would never have met. Even if Kagami had married another ordinary man and had children normally, she would never have met Kotone.

At least they wouldn’t have hurt each other.

Staring endlessly at the coffin where Kotone lay, Kagami was lost in thought.

In the end, who was that time for?

She had wanted to be together until the very end, even if the world was ending. Why had she thought that?

Perhaps it was because they knew too little about each other.

Perhaps she had wanted to talk, even a little, with the first person she had ever become attached to.

But that time had passed.

Kotone had risked her life to save the world. Until the end, she had tried to save even one more person. The fact that there were almost no casualties in a world that had nearly ended was proof of that.

Had Kagami been included in that?

Had she been saved unavoidably while saving the world, or had Kotone deliberately included her in her thoughts? She still didn’t know.

They hadn’t talked enough to know that.

However.

She knew this life was a borrowed one.

Because it was part of the world Kotone had protected until her final moments of suffering.

…Though she didn’t know what to do or how to live, she needed to use it meaningfully.

Even though Kagami hadn’t learned how, she had to.

“…Ah.”

A sound finally escaped her lips.

It was hard to hold back the tears.

What good would crying do now?

After all, the reason Kotone had suffered until the end was because of Kagami.

She couldn’t even use the word “mother.” Yet she couldn’t sever that connection either.

Even if she wanted to deny it somehow, she couldn’t.

Finally, Kagami collapsed forward.

With her hands on the floor, gritting her teeth, she cried.

What should she do?

Was it okay for her to keep living like this?

She hadn’t done anything for Kotone. Until just recently, she hadn’t even thought about doing anything, and even after they had spoken, she had thought of Kotone more as someone to be wary of than family.

Delaying, postponing, and in the end, she had done nothing.

Before coming here, she had visited the room where Kotone and Koko had lived.

Among the things there, it was very difficult to find anything that Kagami had provided.

The rice cooker Kotone had used to cook was something she had received from her workplace manager. Almost all the furniture in the house had been given by the Yuuki family, as had things like bedding.

She had bought what she needed with money from her part-time jobs.

…All Kagami had bought were a few heating supplies.

When there was nothing in the house, how had Kotone managed? Kagami didn’t even know that.

With no bookshelf, she might have just laid books in the corner of the room, worn her school uniform because she had no other clothes, and slept on the floor without even a blanket.

Thinking her not to be her daughter, she had left her in a place with nothing.

Could such a person be called a “mother”?

Even her attempt to resurrect Kotone might have been just for her own satisfaction.

—She had said that when Kotone returned, she would call her by something other than her name.

What had she been going to say?

Kagami would probably never know the meaning of those words.

That fact left a hollow feeling in the center of her chest.

“How should I… now…”

How should she live?

Should she continue living without purpose, just because she couldn’t die?

Having lived that way her entire life, it was too difficult for Kagami to think of an answer.

…Strangely, she felt that Kotone, who was much younger than her, had somehow known the answer.

*

My ears felt muffled, as if underwater.

I had seen this scene before.

Water had risen to my ankles on the ground. I couldn’t see inside the water. It only reflected the surroundings like a mirror.

The sky was filled with stars that looked ready to pour down. Not just twinkling stars, but the colorful universe I had only seen in illustrations and photos.

“…”

This was the scene I had seen when I first died.

When I turned my head, there was an open door, just as I had seen then.

A cat sat in front of the door.

“Meow.”

As if welcoming me, the cat at the door meowed.

I headed toward it.

This would be the final time.

If I climbed the stairs, there would be a dream world.

I would probably wait there, or somewhere much farther, for those I had left behind.

It had been a short time. So short that it was regrettable.

I couldn’t forget the last sight of Yuka.

Yuka had been crying.

Trying her best to smile for me while crying.

We had talked about the things we wanted to do.

I really had wanted to do them.

There were so many things we could have done there. But now I would never be able to do them.

It was sad that I couldn’t say my final words to Koko and Kagami.

Both of them would probably suffer for the rest of their lives.

When I met them again, I didn’t know how I would comfort them.

And the other people I had known.

There were too many people I hadn’t been able to say goodbye to. Most of them would learn of my death too suddenly.

They would be shocked.

I had done something terrible to people.

Though there had been no other way.

“Why that expression?”

As I approached, Kuro asked.

His expression suggested he genuinely didn’t know.

I must have spent quite a long time with Kuro if I could read a cat’s expression.

“Because it’s sad.”

I answered.

“There were still so many things I wanted to do…”

I whined a little and then closed my mouth.

What was I doing, whining to a cat at my age? Well, he claimed to be a god, so maybe it didn’t matter.

“Why don’t you just do them?”

But that comment made me a little angry.

“What? Are you telling me to reincarnate?”

I had already experienced something like reincarnation once, and I thought it had been a good experience, but still, saying that to someone who had just died was too much.

“…Why would you reincarnate?”

Kuro asked again with an incredulous expression.

Maybe he was telling me to enjoy the afterlife a little.

“…Well, because I’m dead.”

“…”

Kuro stared at me for a while, then very slowly opened his mouth with an expression like someone teaching numbers to a child who didn’t know them.

“Last time, when you went through that door and climbed the stairs, what did I say? What kind of world did I say it was?”

“…You said it was a dream world?”

“Yes. And the dream world is where the consciousness of dreamers goes. Well, there are ways to take your physical body there too. And sometimes people who sleep eternally come there. For some, it might be the afterlife. But was that the case for you?”

“No, but the situation now is different.”

“Are you sure?”

“…”

Kuro looked up at me and said:

“Your sister said she would go ‘instead,’ remember? Don’t tell me you’re just going to ignore that and die?”

“Huh?”

“That’s right.”

Suddenly, a voice came from behind me.

I quickly turned around, and there was my sister.

She looked neat and tidy, a bit different from when I had last seen her. Perhaps it was the outfit I had seen in my past life.

But before I could ask about her outfit, my sister put her hand on my shoulder.

“What are you trying to die for, you idiot.”

“Hey, wait!”

I shouted, feeling something ominous.

A “meow” sounded from beside me.

Kuro was laughing. His expression was full of mischief.

An expression that suggested he was planning some serious prank.

Before I could say anything, my sister pushed my shoulder hard.

“Well, this is a real goodbye then. Next time we meet, I hope it takes much longer than this.”

Before I could respond to that, I opened my eyes.

*

And the first thing I heard was sobbing. And what sounded like someone calling my name.

From the white light pouring through my closed eyes, I seemed to be inside a building. Or maybe it was daytime… no, it was a bit too warm for that.

I wasn’t sure what clothes I was wearing, but what I could smell was incense.

“…”

Opening my eyes was terrifyingly difficult.

Wait, could it be?

The place where I was lying had some kind of soft bedding, and I could feel something tickling the skin not covered by clothes. Were these flowers?

Am I lying in a coffin right now?

My heart pounded.

The first emotion I felt was joy, but the problem was what came next.

…This was definitely not an atmosphere where I could just get up.

I could hear the voices of Yuka, Kagami, and Koko.

All three were sobbing more sorrowfully than any voices I had ever heard. Their attempts to suppress their emotions made it even more heartbreaking.

The last time I had heard such sounds was at my sister’s funeral.

Whether it was a cultural difference or not, back then people hadn’t tried to hide their emotions and had cried openly.

Lying there, unable to find the right timing, I seriously considered what to do.

Should I go back to sleep?

Should I go and beg Kuro to take me away? Hearing these sobs made me feel like I should do that out of courtesy.

…

No, that would be problematic.

I want to live. What I said was sincere.

Of course, I wanted to jump out of this coffin right now and hug Yuka and Koko tightly.

The thought made my heart race again.

And then—

Suddenly my vision darkened.

Was the coffin lid closing?

Wait, hold on!

Thud.

As I hurriedly tried to get up, I hit my head on the coffin lid.

I clutched my forehead with my hands and groaned, and then my vision brightened again.

I squinted at the sudden brightness—

And saw people’s faces.

Especially the faces of Kagami, Yuka, and Koko, whose voices I had heard most clearly.

All three had indescribable expressions.

…

After making eye contact and rapidly thinking at several hundred times my normal speed, I quickly came to a conclusion.

Okay.

Let’s run away first.

I’ll think while running.

I jumped up from the coffin and leaped out.

I saw the faces of the people who had come to see me off.

Taking advantage of them stepping back slightly, I ran.

With all my might.

I could hear people calling after me, and the sound of many people rushing out behind me.

…

On second thought, this might have been the wrong choice.

*

The funeral proceeded in a somber atmosphere.

It was very different from a funeral held at a temple.

Perhaps it should be called a Kurosawa-style funeral; the ceremony led by the two family members of Kotone seemed very empty.

There was no sound of Buddhist sutras being chanted.

Only the child’s mother sitting silently before the coffin.

After sitting rigidly for hours, Kagami finally collapsed forward.

Gritting her teeth, holding back sobs, and taking several deep breaths, Kagami finally managed to stand up.

The eyes of everyone at the funeral turned to her.

The people here more or less knew what relationship Kagami had with Kotone.

Whether they knew the truth or not, they would agree that Kagami… was not an ordinary mother.

But at least the expression she showed now was that of a mother who had lost her daughter.

They couldn’t keep her lying there forever.

The departed had to depart.

Though they hadn’t gone to a temple or chanted sutras, they still needed to create a grave.

As Kagami approached the coffin, adults who had been watching from a distance quickly came forward.

They closed the coffin lid that had been left open—

Thud.

—As they were about to lift the coffin, that sound came from inside.

The adults near the coffin looked at each other.

Kagami had a slightly dazed expression.

Kagami, Yamashita, Fukuda.

And Yuka, along with two members of Yuka’s family who had arrived a bit later.

They were people who had directly or indirectly felt who “Kotone Kurosawa” was.

Especially Kagami, who had directly resurrected Kotone.

“…”

Could it be.

That thought crossed Kagami’s face.

It wasn’t an obvious expression.

Just a slight twitch of her eyebrows amid resignation and sorrow.

That stirring affected Yuka and Koko, who were nearby.

Both were looking at Kagami.

Kagami composed herself a little.

Perhaps the body had moved incorrectly inside. Though they hadn’t lifted the coffin yet, they had touched it.

If so, they should adjust her position properly.

It might be meaningless to adjust the position of a body whose soul had departed.

After cremation, it would truly have no meaning.

But even so. It didn’t feel right.

Seeing Kagami’s face, the others seemed to think they should check too, and opened the coffin lid.

And there—

“…”

Was Kotone, holding her forehead with both hands.

Squinting at the sudden bright light, Kotone’s expression went blank when her eyes met those of the people looking into the coffin.

“…”

Silence.

A silence lighter than any material in the world hung for a few seconds.

It felt like an eternity.

Having assessed the situation, Kotone’s actions were very clear.

She jumped up from the coffin.

Taking advantage of the surrounding people stepping back in surprise, Kotone darted between them.

And ran as fast as she could.

Wearing white burial clothes.

“…Kotone?”

Someone murmured.

“Kotone!”

Someone else cried out desperately,

“…Huh?”

“What?”

Some people hadn’t grasped the situation yet.

That was normal.

The first person to chase after Kotone was Koko.

Tears streaming down her face, with an expression that was hard to tell whether she was laughing or crying, Koko’s pursuit looked a bit frightening.

There was no time to wonder if there was a reason she wasn’t using her abilities.

“Wait, Koko, Kotone!?”

Yuka, who had been right beside her, jumped in surprise and hurriedly followed.

Then Shii. And Sasaki who was next to Shii.

Kagami, who had been standing in a daze, belatedly let out an indescribable scream and started running. Any trace of her usual subtle demeanor had completely vanished.

A crowd of people followed behind them.

The mysteriously revived deceased, running at full speed in white burial clothes with a bright red face.

And people in black clothes chasing earnestly behind her, with strangely mixed expressions of crying and laughing.

The chase continued for quite some time even after they ran out of the house where the funeral was being held.

Until Koko threw her whole body forward to grab Kotone from behind, and they rolled on the ground five times in a tangle of black and white before stopping.

Yuka piled on top, followed by Kagami.

Then Shii and her friends.

The adults couldn’t bring themselves to join in and express their emotions. In fact, most had blank faces, as if they couldn’t properly grasp the situation.

But Kotone’s friends.

Whether they understood the situation or not, regardless of who they were.

They held Kotone’s body tightly.

So she couldn’t run away anymore.

It was inevitable that Kotone’s face turned impossibly red as she was caught.