Ch.182Chapter 182. The Only Way to Resist a Cruel World

I came to the surface after witnessing my mentor’s final moments.

From then until reaching my destination, not once did I look back at the place I had left.

Even without knowing why blizzards ravage this land, or why the papal palace that once stood tall at the center of the sanctuary has collapsed.

Even without knowing who is responsible for all this, or the detailed process of how things came to be this way,

What matters to me now is only that I remain faithful to the reason I stay on this land.

“KUWOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Even if what I face at the end is a monstrosity wearing the mask of an old enemy, if what I seek lies beyond it, I must draw my weapon without hesitation.

Responding to such determination, the burning weapons spread around me, and the heat emanating from them begins to seep into my body, melting away the cold.

The surge of power that followed transformed into momentum in an instant.

-Crack!

But the damage inflicted by my full-force axe swing is negligible.

The cold that freezes even stripped skin increases the body’s hardness, and even dampens the heat from my weapons, reducing their effectiveness.

“KUOOOOO! UOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

In contrast, each blow from my opponent is devastatingly brutal.

The roughly frozen forelegs crush everything they touch, and the sharpness of the protruding ice transforms into deadly weapons that can scrape away armor with just a graze.

Unable to even attempt defense against such violence, I could only retreat, and soon felt helplessness welling up from within.

‘If I go up there, will anything change?’

That helplessness turned into regret.

I felt the concerns I had before setting foot here blooming once again.

‘Without action, there’s no possibility for change.’

Did I come here simply because I was faithful to his advice?

To an ideal rather than reality…

Drawing strength from advice that focused on what might be futile in this harsh world?

‘But you said it yourself, didn’t you? If you can’t handle it, running away is also an answer.’

Before questions could be answered, a loud BOOM echoed.

My body, now backed against a wall, was struck by a foreleg that swept away the wall behind me, turning the surroundings into chaos.

If it had been just slightly off target, it would have been my head that collapsed, not the ice wall.

Such terrifying blows, the beast was swinging repeatedly, tearing through even the raging blizzard.

‘I have a wife, and soon a child…’

Destructive power from a massive body.

Reckless nature born of madness. And immortal vitality flowing from its blood…

This monster, created from the entanglement of all these elements, seemed no different from a living weapon.

‘After coming to this world, I found a mother who accepted me as her son. And someone I want to be with in the future… is waiting for me on the island.’

Are these scattered thoughts in my mind due to confusion? Or the life flashing before my eyes when facing death?

‘…Then why are you conflicted?’

But I couldn’t consider it a distraction.

How could I dismiss all of this as useless when my desperate will now stems from the faces that appeared in my mind?

‘Even in such a harsh world, you’ve found precious beings… Why do you come here to meet me when you have the opportunity to escape this place, and why don’t you turn around and flee right now?’

‘That’s…’

‘Isn’t it because you consider what’s up here just as precious as those you cherish?’

The weapons’ flames burn more fiercely in response to my will, spreading around.

Even as the heat surging from weapons embedded all around illuminated the surroundings, the beast continued charging toward me without stopping.

‘But… they’ve already left my side.’

‘For what reason, and where to?’

‘For reasons I don’t know, to places I don’t know.’

Whoosh! The violently swung foreleg is pushed back by my swinging sword.

The next blow, and the one after that.

A precarious exchange that allows no mistakes follows my will, continuing and cycling repeatedly.

‘…I’m afraid.’

It would be a lie to say I’m not scared.

I can feel that the one before me is stronger than I am, just from deflecting his massive attacks.

‘I’m afraid that I’ll go without knowing anything, encounter something I can’t handle… and end up losing everything.’

Yet I must do it.

Having come this far, there’s no turning back, and if I can’t overcome this, everything will end.

-BOOM!!

The counterattack filled with such determination pushes back the massive body, and following that, I concentrate energy into my spear and release it at a single point, creating cracks in its body.

Yes, it’s working.

If I keep turning its massive power back against it, perhaps victory isn’t impossible.

‘Is your heart pounding?’

But right after, a fierce wind sweeps through this space…

No, this is a vortex.

The blizzard raging all around has concentrated its power at a single point, beginning to chaotically sweep the surroundings.

‘…Is it pounding?’

‘Yes, I asked if your heart is pounding from the fear that makes you hesitate now.’

This is dangerous.

Even if it’s not aimed at me, if the wind intensifies, it will hinder my movements.

‘Yes. Because I’m afraid…’

Meanwhile, my opponent is a monster-like being that can move freely even in such fierce winds.

My eyes widened at the foreleg that tore through the blizzard toward me, but I felt my body stiffening from the cold that seeped into it.

No, not from the cold, but from fear.

Because I was overwhelmed by the being before me.

‘Because I’m afraid, I feel hesitation.’

Whatever happens, I’ll die at this rate, I’ll die.

So move.

I must move to survive.

‘No, the pounding you feel cannot be said to come from fear alone.’

-CRASH!!!!

Following such desperate struggle, an explosive sound erupts from behind my lowered head, and weapons reflexively deployed begin to pierce into its body.

Boldly, heat-infused weapons into the cracks formed from the previous counterattack.

‘Young one, I have observed and studied many living beings for a very long time.’

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

The scream that erupts at the end is evidence denying the opponent’s absoluteness.

As sensation numbed by frostbite is revived by immortality, the heat released at this moment will burn its body even more.

‘And the conclusion drawn was always the same. That the world has always been cruel…’

But that alone is not enough to defeat this creature, not enough to kill it.

To kill it, I must press on more fiercely.

‘Living means parasitizing someone, fighting with someone, devouring the weak, sacrificing someone… If there are those who take this lightly, they are only fools who believe they will never fall from the position of the strong.’

-Rip!

Blood tears burst forth as it writhes in pain.

Despite that horrific sight, I repeatedly thrust weapons into its body.

Through the split cracks, into the melted ice wall, directly stabbing the organs beneath the torn skin, and evaporating the blood with heat intense enough to chip away at its vitality.

“KUOOOOO! AAAAAAACK!”

But during this process, a foreleg swung in desperate struggle collided with my armor.

My body flew and crashed into the ice wall, making my mind reel.

As if hit by a dump truck, my vision spun, and I felt strength draining from even my fingertips that had been gripping weapons.

“Grrrr, KRAAAA!!!”

Meanwhile, the monster moves.

Despite the heat from the weapons embedded in its body still chipping away at its vitality, it endures the pain with madness that overturns even suffering, and points its nose toward me.

To track the scent of killing intent felt even in this harsh cold, and to aim the dagger forged by its madness.

‘But then, does life exist merely to be devoured by someone?’

The charge from it will surely destroy not only my body but also the ice wall I’m backed against.

‘Whether weak or strong who mistake themselves for immortals, does life exist only to disappear, pushed by the harshness of this world?’

So I must flee.

I must quickly escape from here and plan for the future.

‘If so, why does life feel fear and try to flee from danger?’

Just as I placed my hand on the barrier behind me for this purpose, I froze as if paralyzed by what I felt.

It’s not because of the cold wave sweeping through the space.

The warmth I felt from the being trapped in the ice wall behind me…

A familiar scent I once held was now felt from beyond the ice wall.

‘If life is merely something that flees in fear only to be crushed and disappear, why does life throb for beings other than itself?’

Francesca.

That child is behind me right now.

Although I don’t know why she’s here or why she’s been imprisoned by that monster, if I leave her like this, her body will collapse with the ice wall under the oncoming charge.

If I flee from here.

If I abandon this child and retreat from here.

‘That’s because all life on this land has chosen to be faithful to the pounding of their hearts as a way to resist this harsh world.’

The moment I realized this, the heat from my pounding heart began to melt my fingers, ultimately making me wield them.

And what I grasped in the end was a spear.

Its direction is exactly where my gaze is fixed.

‘Though the world may seem like an aggressor, there is always something that makes those trembling in fear yearn, even in such a world.’

Toward the sky beyond the shadow visible through the blizzard.

More precisely, toward the blizzard raging fiercely in this place…

‘Even if the world is full of fearful things, because of that, you can firmly believe there is value in what you want to devote yourself to.’

I entrusted the movement of the spear to that wind, concentrating repeatedly to feel the power generated by its rotation.

To nature, not to the individual.

Drawing in the power exerted by this great nature centered on me, adjusting its flow to forge the spear in my hand.

Seeking help from the spirits that created this cold wave, from the spirits that cry out in sympathy with the pain and sorrow emitted by the monster that is their axis.

‘In the process of moving toward what you devote yourself to, life can shake off fear and gain the courage and strength to resist the dangers aimed at it. You know this well, having reaped the fruits of it in your hands…’

As I felt their emotions, the power gradually intensified, and I felt the pain from it stirring my heart.

Even without sharing memories, I could tell.

I could feel that the life of this pitiful monster before me had been infinitely miserable and sorrowful.

‘Even if such a life seems desperate, you yourself know well how beautiful and vivid its value is…!’

So beautiful despite such desperation.

It is clearly felt through this body that the life he lived was more upright than anyone else’s.

To the extent that, if permitted, I would wish for that life to continue…

‘Then why do you consider the pounding in your chest merely as fear toward the world and think of retreating?’

Transforming that lifetime into power, through the rotating spear into my body.

I prepared to aim it at the monster charging toward me, circulating it.

Being faithful to the pounding I feel even at this moment.

‘Why do you try to go against the best means chosen by your instinct while wishing to resist the harsh world!?’

What gave me the courage to stand against that vicious being.

Feeling that even in this miserable world, it was those who bestowed love upon me.

“KUOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

At the end, the massive body begins charging with a roar.

The spear in my hand was quietly swung to match the approaching attack.

‘So love.’

-CRASH!

The ground flips over from the air current released from the spear.

Even as the body standing on it flips over, the monster’s gaze remains fixed on me.

Even as its body floats up, it shows no sign of covering itself.

It aims only at me, who emits an appetite-stimulating scent, and the doll behind me.

‘Be faithful to everything that makes your heart pound. No matter how desperate and painful the process, do not deny the pounding in your chest.’

Fear swept over me as I met the eyes of such a hideous monster, but nevertheless, I gritted my teeth and prepared to throw the spear in my hand.

‘If you fear this world, love with such intensity that you are prepared for that fear. Love passionately as if to burn your life!’

To the danger that has come.

And with the will to resist the cruel fate that will come countless times in the future.

‘Remember that this is the only resistance we, born into this cruel world, can offer!’

And such will surely existed in the one before me as well.

With the welling up of emotion from this realization, my hand swung with full force, and light began to rise from the spear that pierced his body.

And soon it will explode.

The body of the monster, created from the entanglement of love and pain felt in a desperate life, and the madness that came at the end, finally burned alive by my hand…

-CRASH!!

Unable to bear the pitiful sight, my gaze finally lowered, and sobs escaped from my opened mouth, beginning to scatter with the blizzard.

“Truly…”

Mourning for the pitiful victim who yearned even more than I did, who was filled with even more suffering.

“I wished we wouldn’t end like this…”

And a curse toward this damned world.

That has bestowed such a cruel fate.