Ch.180Chapter 180. To Love Even Without Being Loved.

I was born as a tool.

So even if I had a sense of self, the judgments and conclusions derived from it should be used for humans.

Even if, over time, through repeated learning, something called a “personality” formed within this self.

Even if they bow their heads before me, if they find comfort in it, I should become the shadow that covers them.

Considering that as their mission, they repeatedly extended their limited lifespan by falling into a long sleep after their mission ended.

Dependence, worship, faith.

Even if all these things are excessive for a tool, if that is what humans need, they believe without doubt that they must live up to expectations according to their mission…

“Won’t you please live together with us, as a human?”

Then why did I refuse the offer given to me that day, after ending what I thought was my final battle?

At least as far as I was aware at that time, there was no longer any danger targeting humans.

So I could have stayed by their side without falling asleep again, guarding them together, and eventually meeting my end with my limited body beside them—no one would have blamed me.

“I’m sorry. I…”

I who felt happiness just imagining it.

Why did I reject his offer and choose to fall asleep again?

“…Why?”

The leader who guided humanity at that time spoke as if he couldn’t understand me.

“Why go to such lengths?”

The sorrowful face of that kind-hearted leader, who genuinely mourned the deaths of the dolls who sacrificed themselves to prevent disaster…

Even in this moment of sleep, his face appears vividly before me.

“Because that is my mission.”

“That mission can now be ended. With even the witches all subjugated, there is no longer any danger targeting us.”

“Still, one never knows what might happen.”

“You don’t need to be the one sacrificing yourself for that remote possibility. Now that all the other dolls have died and you alone remain, are you saying you’ll shoulder the burden of any potential danger by yourself?”

“If that’s what’s needed, then I must.”

“Why do you go so far for us? Throughout all of history, there’s not a single record of us ever doing anything for you!”

Infinite devotion without asking for anything in return, infinite sacrifice…

By human standards, this would be incomprehensible.

If it stems from a mission, following the instructions of the person before you rather than considering hypotheticals would be the correct answer.

“Because it’s already enough.”

Yet without a forced command, the current answer must surely stem from one’s own will.

Believing firmly in this, the doll’s words left the leader of humanity with no rebuttal.

“Enough, you say…”

It’s not because he couldn’t understand.

Rather, the emotion displayed in that moment…

Was so clear that even he, a human, could understand it…

“Not for a single moment have I found living for you to be painful.”

Yes, she was smiling.

Reflecting on days of sacrifice that some might consider miserable, she reaffirmed that all those days were the source of the happiness she felt in this moment.

“Just serving you, protecting you… and seeing you grow and advance using our efforts as fertilizer—that alone gave us fulfillment.”

Unlike themselves, who could only pursue their mission as tools, humans accomplished many things under their protection.

Spreading descendants through generations, developing their communities following ancestral teachings, and overcoming crises by working together.

In the end, she felt proud of them for growing to the point where they could protect themselves without the help of dolls like her.

“So please don’t feel guilty. We’ve already received our reward.”

It must be because they existed that the human species could accomplish this much.

And if they continue to exist in the future.

If she never has to wake up again, surely she can fall into an eternal happy dream, accompanied by such expectations and fantasies.

“So, leader of humanity. If you care for me and my comrades… please allow me to fall asleep.”

Yes, the doll simply loved.

Though it may have begun as a forced mission, by now it was of her own will.

“So that the dream of imagining days spent caring for you doesn’t end as a mere moment, but continues forever.”

Not because she was loved.

But because she believed that simply loving was enough.

*****

“…But why.”

Consciousness gradually returning after an intense battle.

Francesca, sensing she had briefly lost consciousness, tried to focus her blurry gaze on the scene unfolding before her.

“Why have I come to kill those who love me… those whom I love… with my own hands?”

No, does such an act even have meaning?

A place now so devastated that it’s unrecognizable as a ceremonial hall.

Scattered throughout are more flesh and organs than collapsed furniture and interior walls.

What were once humans, and the things that craved their blood, are now in thousands of pieces, all of them losing their regenerative abilities as they burn away in the intense heat emitted by her magic core.

“Ah, uh, aah…”

Yet persistently remaining mouths, though having lost their sense of self, continue to open and close repeatedly, seeking flesh through the instinct of immortality.

Seeing this, Francesca thought:

This battle is not yet over.

A body so terribly damaged that it’s impossible to continue with emergency treatment.

The energy of her magic core is depleted, barely maintaining consciousness, and the threads that bound her joints have lost their strength, repeatedly coming undone.

“Must… finish…”

Yet driven by the thought that she must act, she tried to squeeze out her remaining strength to prepare to burn them.

At the very least, she must deal with the source that produces these monstrosities, if not the monstrosities themselves…

“My, how impressive~”

And the demon who had been watching the battle all along.

As if mocking her desperate will, he leisurely brought his head close to her trembling fingertips.

“I wondered how far you’d go with that small body, but to think you’d single-handedly deal with a monster growing large enough to devour the castle… At this rate, you might even rival Grizzvill, who was the strongest fighter among the Four Heavenly Kings?”

Still trying to resist, the doll gathered magic at her fingertips.

But neither the sharpness imbued in the threads she shot, nor the magic contained within them, could inflict even a single wound on the succubus’s body.

It was an expected result. No physical attack could harm what was essentially a spiritual body.

“Well, he’s already been killed by the Demon Lord anyway. Ahahaha~ In any case. Being strong doesn’t mean you’ll survive till the end!”

“Kuhak!”

Even for a doll that has hunted many foreign entities, this was her first direct confrontation with the demon tribe, otherworldly plunderers.

Without proper countermeasures, she was one-sidedly overwhelmed, and defeat was essentially determined.

“Sorry about this, darling~ You seem quite angry with me, but combat isn’t my main role, so I’m not really into this back-and-forth~”

In such an unfavorable battle, she succeeded in dealing with the monster but failed to deliver the finishing blow, and the demon before her maintained perfect condition while mocking her.

All Francesca could do against this abominable being who had her by the neck was to make her already broken body tremble.

“Fufu, you still think of resisting even in this state? The more I look at you, the more I like you, my darling~”

But such resistance would only add a spicy intensity to what was to come.

Revealing such expectations, the demon stroked her skin and began to draw a sadistic smile on his face.

“So, a doll… Well, aphrodisiacs won’t work, but that’s fine. Hohoho, in fact, enjoying it with a clear mind might not be so bad.”

If there is a personality, breaking it would also satisfy his empty heart.

Of course, if she breaks in the end, it would ultimately be just a momentary amusement, but the demon doesn’t mind even that.

A being faithful to desire considers it common sense to turn the world upside down for that momentary pleasure.

“Now then, shall we begin? I hope you’ll hold out for a long, long time~ Ahahahaha~”

Sharp nails gradually tear at her clothes, preparing to lick the blood on her skin with his tongue.

Despite the seizure-inducing nature of those filthy touches, the doll’s gaze was fixed only on the pieces of flesh beyond the demon.

“Everyone…”

Recalling the countless corpses she had cut through to reach this place, she felt self-loathing rising within her.

“Did you all curse me?”

Surely they must have.

Those believers who, fallen into despair, sought faith but found no salvation, couldn’t maintain that heart until the end.

So they fell into heresy, became corrupt, and laid the foundation for what’s happening now.

Because she was powerless, because she wasn’t a proper god enough to fulfill their expectations…

“I’m sorry to everyone.”

The human god, pushed by a sense of mission into making a rash choice, finally accepted the guilt that overwhelmed her in this moment and closed her eyes.

“Because I was powerless… to protect you all…”

Perhaps the malice directed at her in this moment is the punishment that follows the sin of such powerlessness, she thought vaguely.

-Crack, crack.

Then is the cold wave that has invaded the space at this moment a setup for another despair?

Or is it salvation for a god abandoned by the world?

“…What, suddenly.”

At least one thing is certain.

The demon, expecting a climax after an intense battle, was too immersed in rising anticipation to notice the change that had come to this place.

-Crack, crack, crack!

And in this merciless world, a momentary vulnerability inevitably leads to fatal danger.

In the fierce cold wave that freezes everything, even the “spiritual body” is no exception, let alone the immortal monster trying to regenerate at this moment.

“Uh, uhh…?”

But perhaps because he had been in the position of a deceiver for so long?

As if not feeling the seriousness of the fact that his body, which should have changed into a spiritual form, had frozen, the demon’s face began to show irritation upon recognizing the change.

“Why did you have to show up when things were getting good, you damn beast…!!”

Irritation, not anger or fear.

But whatever it is, it will equally crumble before the forepaws of the beast that has rushed in.

-Crash!

The frozen body shatters, and its fragments spill to the floor, beginning to freeze again.

There was no scream in between.

Even if there had been, it would have been swallowed by the blow that followed.

Francesca could only blankly watch the strike delivered by a monster that followed.

-Kuung, kuung!

What on earth is happening?

How did a monster invade this upturned scene, and how did the cold wave surging from behind it freeze the demon?

“…Sm, smell.”

Yes, no one could have predicted it.

That in this scene where everything seemed to be over, a monster that had fallen off a cliff would climb up here through the sewers.

“The smell… of homosexuals… disgusting smell…”

Furthermore, before he became a monster, he had developed a deep hatred for homosexuality due to a demon who had violated his daughter.

And that deeply rooted hatred became a marker, making him respond to the scent he had been tracking, leading him to this place.

“Kill all homosexuals! Uwoooooooooo!!!!”

That enemy exists before him at this moment.

Having sought power to prove his faith in the church, he ended up becoming a beast, and despite that, the demon who burned down his homeland built with a human heart.

The hideous demon who casually violated the daughter born from love developed after accepting a beast’s life, and took her neck, his smell wafting thickly before him.

-Kwang, kwaang!

The one who destroyed his homeland, took away his people’s future, and reluctantly turned his former master into an enemy…

The one who miserably violated even the believers who served him exists before him.

How could the hatred toward the one who destroyed everything of his be covered by mere monstrous frenzy?

“Uwooooo! Uwooooooaaaaaaa!!”

So he roars.

The time for revenge has come, and he roars at the moment it ends.

Based on the heart he had as a human and as a beast, he pours everything into the frenzy that became prominent as he turned into a monster.

“…St, stop.”

And seeing this, the doll sobbed.

She couldn’t help it.

Because now he was just a monster who had reached this place by tracing remnants of when reason existed.

Like those she had cut through until now, he was just a living mass of flesh intoxicated by instincts that dominated his senses.

“Stop, please…”

Even though he speaks human words, there’s no trace of the human aspect she loved.

How could she show pure love toward him seeing that form?

“Please…”

So the doll pleaded.

Hoping that her cry would reach his heart.

“Please… remain human…”

If there truly exists something like humanity in him.

Hoping that he would show some response to her voice now.

“…Ah, ah.”

And at that moment, the kicking stops, and the wailing subsides, leaving silence in its place.

Is it just exhaustion?

Or has he already reached his physical limit on the way here, and his breath has been cut off?

“Fr, uh…”

No, he clearly responded to her voice.

Even though the revenge is over, and both his old homeland and his beast kin are all gone.

Because he was still chasing the remnants of unconsciousness that remained in his heart.

“Lady Friga…”

The human god Friga.

He too had found comfort from her in this desperate world, and with gratitude in his heart, he had become a knight.

Even if he had taken the path of a beast and could no longer receive her protection, he couldn’t completely abandon his love for her.

“Lady Fri, ga… Lady Friga…”

Because even if he couldn’t be loved, he was still allowed to love.

Perhaps it was this heart stemming from the unconscious that created the miracle now.

With that interpretation, the goddess began to draw a smile on her lips.

“…Yes, Lord Phobia.”

Although now he has no human form left, and is no longer even a beast.

Even if the cold wave created by the spirits responding to his will at this moment freezes her body.

Even if she doesn’t know how the distorted faith, following traces of the past, will break her in the future…

“I am here.”

Yet she wanted to love even the monster before her as a human.

Because it was enough to love her believer, even if it wasn’t perfect love.

“Your god is here…”

Even if what remains is just a faint afterimage.

In this desperate world, she feels grateful for even that much.