Ch.17Someone’s Memory(A)

# 17. Someone’s Memory (A)

[You have selected Someone’s Memory as your reward.]

Was it because I’d been here before, or was it due to my greed triumphing over conscience? In this dreamlike space that felt like it could induce mental illness if you stayed too long, there was a slight flutter of excitement.

V E R I T A S

The seven letters floated in the void, but only the S was faded to about 50% transparency. Probably because we’d already chosen it once. Keutshukyeora already knew she had emerged from the S because I’d told her.

“This is fascinating.”

“What is?”

“Looking at those letters makes me feel like I’m some kind of gacha pull result.”

In the sense that you never know who would emerge from which letter, Keutshukyeora wasn’t wrong.

“What rank am I, Captain?”

“SSR.”

“Wow.”

What was there to think about? She’s the best tank I know. Both in the game and here.

“Should we try for another SSR this time?”

“Everyone in our raid team is SSR.”

“Is that so?”

It was a hope.

Because being good at games wasn’t synonymous with being good at real life.

And it was faith.

An ordinary office worker and a somewhat smart college student who’d never worked a part-time job had started with nothing, gathered equipment, and even passed the Knight’s Trial with an S rank.

I believed that with our raid team’s legendary synergy, we could work well together again no matter who came.

Of course, the priority would be accepting and calming the anger of whoever ended up here.

“What will you choose?”

“Did you have any criteria when you made your first choice?”

Had I not mentioned that?

“I chose S because I wanted to receive S-rank energy.”

“Then I’m drawn to A.”

“A?”

“It’s a college student’s favorite letter, you know?”

Ah?

I thought for about three seconds before understanding her meaning.

A is nice indeed.

“What about you, Captain?”

“This time, I was planning to follow your choice.”

It didn’t matter what we picked since we had absolutely no hints. But I genuinely meant it when I said I’d follow her choice.

Can’t resist a gacha pull.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Look at her, pretending not to care while secretly smiling.

With my confirmation, Keutshukyeora approached the A and touched it with her index finger.

[A]

[Do you wish to select A’s memory?]

“Select!”

[You are peering into A’s memory.]

Along with Keutshukyeora’s expectant voice, I now quite naturally accepted the fade to black.

**

[Customer Service]

[Service/Character/Character Name]

[↳↳[Reply][Reply] What kind of ridiculous penalty is this?!]

[My character name “Saeaxe” is NOT what you dirty-minded GMs think it is, it’s “New” + “Axe”, okay?

Stop throwing out false macro responses and handle this properly. Do you know how much time and money I’ve invested? My character was fine for ages, and then suddenly without warning, I’m “VirtuousSeeker8274”? What the hell?]

“Fucking hell, seriously.”

I’m angry. I’m ANGRY!

My brother suddenly increased his weights, so my arms hurt so much I can barely move them! It’s painful to even press keyboard keys! Meanwhile, I’m getting creeped out by guys openly staring at me! My sister is being a pain about quiz scores! I want to eat something delicious to relieve stress, but all I get is rabbit food and dry chicken breast! Cheat day is still far away! So I finally try to escape into the game, and my precious character that I’ve raised with such care has THIS kind of name?!

“Haaa…”

Murphy’s Law, right? When bad things happen, they come all at once. Every day might be crappy, but today is exceptionally unlucky.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

I want to hit something, anything.

I want to eat all the food I crave.

I want to just roll around in bed doing nothing.

I just want to live in a world where nobody tells me what to do.

“Even you, who lives like that, had your name forcibly changed, breaking the fourth wall.”

– Hahaha! Following the wind, following the clouds, following my own footsteps—that’s my life, what else is there?

– If I want to cut, I cut. If I want to eat, I eat. If I want to sleep, I sleep. But I alone bear the consequences and responsibility. That’s the freedom I—we—cry out for.

“Responsibility…”

I did fiercely complain through customer service, but truthfully, I did choose the name aiming for that 19+ word. The “new axe” explanation was just a cover-up. I chose that word not because I particularly liked doing that act or because I had no shame.

Anonymity. And freedom.

The moment I was able to create “Saeaxe,” I felt the thrill of shouting “sex” from the center of the world.

That thrill was a form of deviation. Though I’d never done it, to me, sex was deviation. So losing the name Saeaxe felt like a warning: “You are not allowed even the slightest deviation.”

Yet I couldn’t vent this frustration and resentment to anyone. My brother? My sister?

“Not a chance…”

Looking at my character who had forcibly lost her name, I lost all motivation to play. I was about to log out when:

[JeanneDArcIsASaint has logged in.]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Hi]

“What’s the raid leader doing online at this hour?”

I was the only one online right now. Normally, Keut and Backdoor would be on at this time, but they weren’t, and the raid leader had logged in about an hour early. I was about to leave, but I couldn’t just go without responding to his greeting.

[VirtuousSeeker8274: hi]

Ugh. I hate looking at this name.

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Huh?]

The raid leader’s reaction was immediate.

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: What’s this ***]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: No ***]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Ah filter **]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: ***]

“Pfft.”

The chat window was filled with filtered text for a while. After calming down, the raid leader asked what happened, and I briefly explained everything, including the customer service inquiry I’d just sent.

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: These **s are getting too full of themselves]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: If they were going to do this, they should have set restrictions from the start]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: How long has the server been open?]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Or at least send a private message]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Saying your character name is inappropriate]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: And warning you to change it by a certain date]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Their handling is garbage]

“Right? I’m not overreacting, am I?”

My gloomy, irritated mood improved a bit with the raid leader’s empathy. If I had logged out just five seconds earlier, I would have ended the day even more depressed.

Though I didn’t know his face, name, age, or where he lived.

It felt good to be comforted by a fantasy animal brother rather than my actual brother.

Still, I was in no condition to run dungeons, so I was about to say goodbye and log out when:

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: ***]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: **]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Ah what should I call you]

[VirtuousSeeker8274: lolololol]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Anyway if you just wait]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: There’s a high chance it won’t be resolved]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: And even if it is, it’ll take a long time]

“Huh?”

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: You’re a raid member]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: I can’t just sit here *ing my fingers]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Why is this getting filtered too?]

[VirtuousSeeker8274: What are you planning to do?]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Hehehe]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Hey]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Do you trust me?]

I was perplexed. The raid leader’s attitude suggested he had some way to reverse what the admins had done to my character name. We’d been playing together for a few months and had gotten somewhat close, but I tilted my head wondering if we were close enough for him to offer help like this.

But.

It wasn’t a bad feeling. More precisely, I had nothing to lose.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Why aren’t you saying anything]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Don’t you trust me?]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: (sighing emoticon)]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: (dejected emoticon)]

[VirtuousSeeker8274: Of course I trust you lol]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: OK OK]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: I can’t promise anything]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: But wait and see]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Your big bro will solve this]

“Pfft. ‘Big bro,’ he says.”

I didn’t sense ANY ulterior motives whatsoever. Still, I didn’t get my hopes up. Having expectations would only lead to disappointment.

I was just grateful for the raid leader’s kindness.

**

Three days passed.

After another boring lecture, hellish workout, and tasteless dinner, I mechanically turned on my computer and logged into the game.

[Saeaxe][Level 100]

“Huh?”

I blinked. It was still there.

I rubbed my eyes. Still there.

When I logged in with my character, Keut and Backdoor welcomed me.

[Keutshukyeora: Oh!]

[Keutshukyeora: You’re back!]

[StolidBackdoor: Ooh]

[Saeaxe: hi]

“Ah.”

Just having my original name back made the same greeting look different. How did it get restored?

In my message box, there was only a formal apology from the administrators and a small amount of in-game currency.

What I wanted was to hear about the raid leader’s heroics, but.

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Glad it worked out]

[Saeaxe: How did you do it?]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: Well, adults have their ways]

[Saeaxe: What’s that supposed to mean]

[JeanneDArcIsASaint: (pleased emoticon)]

Was he being shy, or did he just not want to boast? I didn’t ask further.

What mattered was that I got my name back thanks to the raid leader.

“…Thank you.”

I’m not sure if this is the right thing to say while gaming, but I’ll do my best.

And if there’s anything I can help with, I will.

Definitely.