Ch.17Report on the Fall of Innocence (4)

# Kain returned to the chapel. Inside, everything remained the same.

The smell of vomit, groans of despair, weeping and tears. Lamentations and screams. This space that once echoed with hymns praising God now only resonated with mournful dirges, as if God Himself had died.

But Kain had changed.

He persistently approached the resting nursing staff, and when met with irritated dismissal, he politely withdrew. Leaning his cane against the wall, he took cloths in both hands and helped clean the patients’ filth. He carried heavy, dirty loads for others, and stirred hot porridge with a spoon until it cooled enough to eat.

“Stay still! You’ll hurt yourself!”

Someone was having another seizure. They thrashed about, slamming their body against restraints. The iron chains wouldn’t break, of course. No matter how much they battered themselves, they would heal perfectly again.

Tears welled in the eyes of the brother who was nursing them. The patient was crying too. Even when people met people, only sorrow and pain filled the space between them.

Because they couldn’t communicate. Because they couldn’t talk to each other.

Kain approached. The brothers who were barely managing to hold the chains expected Kain had come to lend his strength. But Kain didn’t move a muscle. He simply asked:

“Do you want revenge?”

The soul trapped in what was once a human body wailed. There was no thrashing. Just wailing.

“If you can hear me, please cry out briefly. If not, please remain silent. I’m here to help you. The others are too.”

The brothers looked at Kain as if he were a ghost. Kain continued speaking steadily.

“Your frustration and pain… I don’t dare pretend to understand them. I cannot fathom your suffering. That’s why I want to know what happened to you. I will find whoever did this to you and make them pay.

So I ask again. If you can hear me, if you agree to revenge on your behalf, please cry out briefly. If not, if you cannot hear or understand me, please remain silent.”

Uuugh.

The thrashing stopped. Even the surrounding patients ceased their struggling. A watching brother carefully wiped the patient with a towel. Unlike before, there was no irritation or anger.

“Thank you. I’ll ask you some questions first. If it’s difficult to make a sound, please move your body slightly, and if that’s too difficult, just close one eye. If there’s a reaction, I’ll understand it as ‘yes,’ and if there’s none, as ‘no.’ It must be painful, but I want to know about the situation when you were attacked.”

Because what needed to be known was clear, because what needed to be obtained was certain, everything else became merely a process. A stage to pass through. Once the direction became clear, meaning was imbued in every action, every emotion.

Kain examined them one by one this way.

There were no traces of being cut by swords, pierced by spears or arrows, or strangled by ropes. There were only bruises and fractures that would occur from being hit by blunt objects or strongly colliding with something.

Their entire bodies were covered in bruises.

Brothers, sisters, squires, and apprentice knights did much rough and dirty work, but they weren’t doctors. However, having endured severe beatings from a very young age, they knew about these “bruised wounds” well. Especially the testimonies of those affiliated with the knightly orders were consistent.

According to them, while bruises from collisions or blunt force trauma looked similar, the colors differed. When bones or organs were damaged, a lot of blood would gush out, making the bruise nearly black and larger in size.

In contrast, ordinary bruises started red like blood when fresh, then turned bluish-purple. Yellow to brown indicated healing, and swelling would gradually subside.

Most of the fifty patients were covered in black and blue bruises. While clearly terrible wounds, it was strange that even the colors of the bruises didn’t change. And not just for one or two people, but all fifty.

“These people seem trapped in time.”

A nursing sister wiped away her sweat as she shared her view. Seeing how someone who had stubbornly kept quiet was now pouring out words once she started speaking, Kain thought she must have been holding back a lot.

“Whether they were hit by blunt objects or tossed around by a giant’s hands, I don’t know, but it’s that moment when bones break. It’s strange that even the colors don’t change.”

“Is it truly a miracle?”

To Kain’s question, the sister answered with empty eyes. Eventually, as if confused:

“Well, I’m careful about speaking carelessly. It’s not my place to say. Whether it’s a miracle or not is solely for His Holiness the Pope to decide. But this much is certain: if it’s a miracle, it’s the most terrible miracle; and if it’s sorcery, it’s the most evil sorcery.”

“Did you say sorcery?”

“I thought you were intelligent, but perhaps not. Does this look like a blessing to you?”

It certainly didn’t.

* * * * *

Dinner was terrible. Beer soup with two pieces of dried-out bread and salt-pickled cabbage was all there was. Under normal circumstances, he would have been angry.

But was this situation anywhere close to “normal”? Rather, the attitude of cooking and trying to eat something in such circumstances could be considered a virtue of courage. Moreover, in this rocky mountain, even supplies were scarce, so not starving was already close to fortunate.

Kain met Lily again in the dining hall. They ate dinner in silence, then went outside to find a place for just the two of them.

There wasn’t a suitable spot.

Being in the mountains, specifically in a basin, the sun had set early, and knights had set up crucibles everywhere and lit fires. Simple torches would have been extinguished by the wind, but the fires in the recessed steel crucibles were quite stable.

Though the irritated wind did occasionally cause sparks to flare up. But this barren rocky mountain had nothing to burn anyway.

“Ah, here you are.”

Just then, Brother Guido approached them happily. And suddenly embraced Kain tightly. Lily looked at Kain and Guido with surprised eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. People from the capital are indeed different. Different from those ignorant knights, or people from rural parishes, or folks like us who just dig up rocks in the mountains.”

“Uh… it’s nothing.”

Though he separated from Kain, Guido still gripped both his shoulders firmly.

“No! No! No one else had thought of it. We had forgotten that those people are also people, and that people want to communicate with others. To be honest, it was so miserable. It’s as if our pity for them blinded us. You saw more clearly than those who claim to follow God. I’m simply amazed.”

“What happened?”

“Ah. Things have become much easier,” Guido sighed with relief. “Now the nursing staff never yell or scold. Before doing anything, they ask first. Would you like to eat? Is there any discomfort? If it’s the lower part, cry out once; if it’s the upper part, twice. Like that.”

Lily was completely puzzled. Kain felt a bit embarrassed. In the capital, they often did this with patients who had difficulty moving.

“But I’m grateful that you’ve breathed life back into them. Indeed, people need a clear direction to spread their wings.”

“What kind of motivation are you talking about?”

“Revenge!”

Guido was delighted. He was delighted with such innocence that it was almost painful to watch.

Was it because he was fundamentally a good person who had cut ties with the secular world? Did he not really understand the meaning of revenge? Was he just focusing on the reality that those pitiful patients were trying to eat and had become docile, seeing it as improvement? Kain couldn’t tell.

“Yes. Revenge. Everyone whispers: We must have revenge. You must have revenge. For that, you must get up. You must regain your strength. It’s like a magical spell. It resonates with the heart much more than ‘Amen’ or hymns!”

His voice was loud. People sitting listlessly glanced at Guido. He cleared his throat with his ears turning red.

“Ahem. Actually, that’s not what I wanted to say. The Abbot asked me to convey his sincere thanks to both of you. I’m curious, do you two have a separate party or guards scheduled to arrive?”

Kain and Lily looked at each other. Kain shook his head.

“No. It’s just the two of us. No one else is coming.”

“Then you haven’t arranged lodging yet, have you? You’re not setting up tents outdoors like the knights, I assume.”

“That’s right.”

“That’s good. The Abbot has ordered a monastic lodging to be vacated for you. He said that since distinguished guests have arrived, we should treat them accordingly. Though old, being built of stone, it’s relatively warm and sturdy. Otherwise, you’d have to sleep in the knights’ tents, and the nights here are very windy.”

Offering the monastery lodging was clearly a gesture of goodwill. Lily seemed pleased too, judging by how she slightly turned her head.

“That’s nice, but I’m concerned we might be imposing. Are you saying rooms are being vacated because of us?”

“Not exactly. The patients are being cared for by monks and knights in three shifts a day. So the brothers and sisters decided to share rooms with those on the same shift. As a result, we have a spare room… and if you don’t use it, that red-headed Mercy Knights Commander will force his way in.”

Guido’s voice dropped even lower.

“He insisted on staying in the monastic quarters, causing such a commotion. It was so embarrassing. The Abbot couldn’t bear to see that and sent me. He said it’s better to give it to distinguished guests than to that ruffian.”

Lily kept poking Kain’s thigh. Kain remained composed.

“It would be impolite to refuse such kindness. I gratefully accept the Abbot’s goodwill.”

“Well, there’s one thing you should know.”

Guido seemed genuinely sorry. Kain became a bit anxious.

“Noise or discomfort is fine. As long as there’s a ceiling, walls, and a floor, that’s enough for me.”

“Uh, that’s not what I meant. There’s only one spare room, and the monks’ rooms are a bit small. But we’ll put two beds in there. And blankets, of course.”

“Ahem. AHEM!”

Lily cleared her throat. To Guido’s ears, unfamiliar with the situation, it sounded like embarrassment and awkwardness. Of course, Kain, having worked with Lily longer, understood the meaning precisely. It meant she was so happy she could go crazy.

While thinking ‘I’ll deal with you later,’ Kain bowed deeply.

“Not at all. Thank you again.”

* * * * *

Someone once said that poverty and destitution were merely differences in expression. They were heavily criticized and apologized for their ignorance about faith. The former clearly aims to resemble God by not caring about worldly things, while the latter simply means having nothing and no purpose.

Walking down the corridor of the enclosed monastery, Kain recalled those old words. No matter how positively he tried to view it, the monastery lodging looked destitute to his eyes.

The capital’s military police underground detention cells were more luxurious. At least they were bright, unlike here where a single candle every 10 meters passed for lighting.

Because of this, Kain counted the excessive number of doors. It would be embarrassing to go out briefly and forget which room was his, accidentally entering someone else’s.

The kind monks had brought beds in advance. Two wooden boards with a thin cloth mattress. One hard wooden pillow and one cloth to cover oneself. With just two wooden beds on the floor, the room was almost completely filled. Placing their bags against the wall made it feel even more cramped.

The only light came from the moon. There was a round window in the wall, which, strangely, was made of stained glass. It was a pretty decoration depicting a suffering two-headed eagle.

“Ahem. Lily. If you’re uncomfortable, I can sleep outside…”

“I’m fine with this. Are you uncomfortable? I’d like to be clear about this.”

Lily was nonchalant. Kain couldn’t bring himself to say “yes.” It felt like losing.

“I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Then ahem. AHEM! Please turn around for a moment. Just for a bit. AHEM! That’s good.”

“Why?”

Lily seemed to be trying hard to stay calm.

“I want to change clothes. I’m soaked in sweat. You can handle the slight inconvenience of turning around, can’t you?”