Ch.179Chapter 27. Sword (1)

There was one thing I confirmed during the earlier fight.

When space melts or shatters, everything within that “space” meets the same fate.

If it shatters like glass, everything inside also shatters. When it melts, everything inside fuses together like metal in a furnace.

That’s why I grabbed Nirlas’s neck with my wounded hand and collapsed the space.

What happens when two people are in the same space, like inside a collapsing building?

Though they’re completely separate entities, if crushed by something heavy falling from above, they become indistinguishable.

Blood and flesh mix randomly, bones shatter and scatter everywhere. Internal organs, being much softer than the exterior, become even harder to distinguish.

In reality, even then, the two beings couldn’t be called the same entity. They’d just be different objects mixed together in the same space.

But what if the space itself containing them were to be crushed?

Not just two objects overlapping and mixing, but the very concept of space itself collapsing.

“I see,” Nirlas said with a smile.

“Planning to fight me for influence?”

I didn’t bother answering.

Or rather, I didn’t have time to answer. Nirlas was greedily sucking me in more intensely than I had anticipated.

I could hear the screams of the other personalities maintaining my body.

Parts of me not touching Nirlas were slowly splitting apart. Areas that should be flesh and bone were slowly separating, becoming like strands of hair.

“Kotone!”

Yuka shouted and tried to swing her sword, but Nirlas blocked her using my body.

“Excellent.”

Then he spoke to me.

His sideways-twisted head grinned.

“I wonder how far your thoughts extend. I’d like to see them through to the end.”

Whether he knew my thoughts or not.

Whether he was deliberately limiting himself, or if my position as an outer god meant he couldn’t read my mind, I wasn’t sure.

Even if I knew whether he could read my thoughts or not, my options were extremely limited.

Simply cutting wouldn’t defeat Nirlas, who continuously regenerated. So I had to bet on the option that wasn’t zero, however low the probability.

“Kotone!”

I heard Koko’s desperate cry.

Koko’s body had partially collapsed. She was swinging her arm, which she had deliberately collapsed while maintaining her form until the end.

But Nirlas couldn’t be completely blocked even with blue flames. He wasn’t an opponent Koko could handle with her body.

“Koko.”

I turned my body around.

My right hand was still caught by Nirlas, so I could barely look back.

But still, I could reach out.

Koko, who had stepped in front of Yuka, continued to cry.

“Kotone…”

Could she sense what was about to happen?

Koko pleaded tearfully.

Could I escape being sucked in if I broke free now?

Parts of my body were collapsing, but still…

“…”

But I only touched Koko’s face with my left hand.

I gently wiped away her flowing tears.

Then I turned my gaze to Yuka.

“Yuka. Please take care of Koko.”

“Kotone!”

Was it Koko who shouted at the end, or Yuka?

No, from the overlapping voices, it seems both of them cried out.

I saw Yuka rush to Koko and embrace her waist, and then my consciousness collapsed.

*

No, it hadn’t completely collapsed.

Light still flickered before my eyes. Like fireflies glowing in the dark night, it wavered, guiding me forward little by little.

Without a body, I followed.

Light moved toward light, and slowly my surroundings brightened.

There was a door.

A wide-open door.

Was this a door Nirlas had opened to lure me?

Or was it a memory my mind conjured to maintain sanity, thanks to the Sasaki siblings’ blood?

Either way, it was excruciating.

That memory I had tried so hard to avoid was unfolding before me.

Warning sounds blared loudly from the car. The horn wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t someone deliberately honking, but the sound of something heavy pressing down on it continuously.

“…”

People were rushing around.

Someone who had stopped their car and opened the door to see what was happening.

Someone running with a stretcher to transport the injured as quickly as possible.

Someone taking out a fire hose from a fire truck to extinguish the car fire, and someone controlling the onlookers who had stopped to watch.

The memory of that day was terribly vivid.

I walked slowly forward. There was nothing else I could do.

I was still afraid to recall what I would see.

But—this was just a memory, wasn’t it? What was happening outside was reality.

Whatever happened to me here, if I couldn’t do what I needed to do, I would regret it even after death.

As long as my consciousness remained.

Thinking that, I tried to run forward, but someone suddenly blocked my path.

“Wait. Not that way.”

It was just like in my dream—

No, it was a little different from back then.

My colleague and I were almost the same height. When we stood face to face, our eyes were at nearly the same level.

But now I was looking up at my colleague.

I raised my hand to examine it.

I wasn’t wearing firefighter gear, but a black sailor uniform.

The uniform of the high school I attended.

My body wasn’t that of an adult male, but of a somewhat youthful girl.

“This way.”

My colleague guided me, seemingly unaware of my transformation.

I followed behind in a somewhat dazed state.

“…Don’t think too deeply about it right now.”

As I followed, my colleague spoke.

It was a very concerned voice.

This is a bit different from my memory back then. I wonder why.

“Listen carefully.”

After walking for a while, my colleague suddenly turned to me with a serious expression.

“So, don’t think too deeply. Right now… just think about the people who are still left. Understand?”

My colleague placed a hand on my shoulder.

Even while looking at me with a serious expression, slightly bending at the waist, he didn’t seem to notice my body had changed.

Well, this is a scene from my memory.

Perhaps it’s what I wish had happened.

Pat, pat.

After gently patting my shoulder, my colleague ran off.

Probably going to save people.

I watched his back for a moment, then continued on my way.

An ambulance was parked some distance from the accident scene.

So far, this wasn’t too different from my memory.

But what did my colleague want to tell me? What was here?

At the time, I was in shock. Even though my family was in that state, I had a job to do, so I ran around frantically.

The grief and despair came later.

Now I felt calmer.

Because I had gained as much as I had lost in that world. I had been living so happily in that world.

“…”

My footsteps stopped.

I could clearly see what was in the ambulance.

Of course, it was a person.

A rescued person.

A young woman, who could easily pass for a college student, sat at the entrance of the ambulance with a hospital blanket over her shoulders, her face smudged with soot.

After nodding while briefly conversing with a rescue worker, she soon saw me.

And her eyes widened in surprise.

I couldn’t say anything.

I walked toward the ambulance with slightly staggering steps.

I hadn’t looked at photos for a long time. After the accident, every time I looked at photos, my heart felt like it was being torn apart, so I hid them deep in my desk drawer and rarely took them out.

Of course, it was even more so after moving to another world. There weren’t even any photos to look at.

As I approached, my younger sister stared at me.

Would she recognize me even in this form?

Maybe it’s natural since this is my memory.

“…”

But what should I say?

This scene wasn’t in the dream I had.

My sister’s… face was fine. Of course it was. She was properly rescued here. Maybe the car was crushed a little less.

Dad? Mom?

I was about to speak but closed my mouth.

My colleague had said earlier to only think about the people who remained.

So… even in this memory, my parents…

“…I’m sorry.”

In the end, that was all I could say.

My memories are still too vivid. Is Nirlas showing me this scene to deceive me, or is my subconscious trying to protect me?

“Sorry for what?”

My sister asked as if she didn’t understand.

“I…”

“It couldn’t be helped.”

At my sister’s words, I raised my gaze.

My sister was looking at me steadily.

“There was nothing you could have done.”

Is this me talking to myself?

“It was just bad luck. Like all other unfortunate people.”

My sister had quite a serious expression.

I’d seen this expression often. My sister usually made this face when talking about grades. It was incredibly annoying when she was in high school.

“What are you thinking, looking at someone’s face like that?”

“…”

“By the way, that outfit suits you well.”

When my sister said that, I felt strangely deflated.

This is strange.

For years, I hadn’t seen her, and while I wanted to meet her again, I always felt depressed and sad about my family. But now that we’re actually talking… it feels odd.

“Girls’ high school?”

“…Yeah, I guess.”

I answered.

A strange sense of detachment.

Is it because she’s my “sister”?

The guilt, sadness, and despair I felt just moments ago were strangely faint.

Even this situation didn’t feel particularly serious.

My sister, with a playful smile, looked at me and said:

“Amazing. After reading all those comics so diligently, you’ve basically entered a comic book.”

“…It’s not a comic.”

I glared at my sister and said:

“It’s a novel.”

“The cover is basically the same as a comic. The content was probably similar too.”

“…”

I couldn’t deny it.

I ended up smiling slightly.

And belatedly, my heart ached.

Yes, this kind of conversation could only happen with my sister.

Neither Koko, Yuka, nor anyone else I’d met could replace my sister. This child had shared my childhood.

We knew so much about each other.

When I bought my sister a watch, it was actually partly to tease her.

Despite complaining, my sister had a kind heart and couldn’t bring herself to throw away gifts, so she used it. She never once called me “big brother,” but I often felt that she considered me an important family member.

So I had prepared two college gifts for my sister. One was a wristwatch that had little meaning beyond telling time.

The other was a laptop my sister had been eagerly looking at before entering college.

…Though I never got to give her the laptop.

Somewhat ridiculously, my sister liked the wristwatch I gave her. She was wearing it even in her final moments, so it seems she found it useful.

“…”

She was wearing it on her wrist even now.

“Why do you look so pained?”

“I—”

“What, are you planning to follow me?”

My sister frowned.

This was the expression my sister made whenever I did something she didn’t like. Seeing it now, I remembered every detail vividly.

“It’s not time for that yet, is it?”

My sister said that as she put the blanket she had been wearing over her shoulders back in the car and jumped down.

“You…”

“What?”

“No, it’s just…”

Was it because she was my sister from my memories?

Looking at that strangely vivid face, I felt odd.

It didn’t feel like recalling a memory, but more like seeing a “scene that evokes memories.”

“Don’t tell me—”

As I was about to speak, my sister’s lips curled into a slightly mischievous smile.

This too was an expression my sister used to make.

“Not yet.”

My sister said firmly.

“You still want to be there, don’t you?”

I couldn’t say anything.

It really felt like my sister was talking to me.

I remembered a bit late.

Kosuzu, who had absorbed Nirlas’s body, had become a bridge between the world of the living and the dead.

There had been many spirits who crossed over through that body.

How many yokai had I cut down? Because of that battle, Yuka, Koko, and I had become too exhausted to move—

“Wait, wait, just a moment.”

I called out urgently.

Now I was starting to understand.

The reason my body was different from my past life’s body,

The reason I now had “Kotone Kurosawa’s body.”

Now I am—

“No.”

My sister cut me off.

And she extended one hand forward.

“Not yet. Let’s talk later. Be honest. Do we have anything worth talking about right now?”

At my sister’s words, I recalled countless memories.

“I—”

“Stories about how you locked yourself in your room and wallowed in misery after Mom, Dad, and I died? Seriously? You’re planning to just go on about such depressing things after meeting again after so long? Isn’t that a bit much?”

Tears welled up in my eyes.

“And as for new stories to tell… they’re still a bit lacking. They’d probably run out after an hour or two of sitting face to face.”

My sister came in front of me and slowly placed both her hands on my shoulders.

“So, go.”

Her hands gently applied pressure.

“It’s not time to come yet.”

My body was pushed slightly.

I felt a floating sensation and was slowly pushed backward.

“And you know what, honestly, I already know most of those stories. I’ve been watching.”

“Ah…”

My sister laughed playfully.

Her face gradually receded.

“Don’t worry too much. It wasn’t painful. Just… a bit boring here.”

My sister said.

Koko’s body contained numerous memories.

Many consciousnesses torn apart, coming from places other than this world—

“Don’t tell me, all this time!?”

I shouted.

But my sister was already beyond my reach.

“No!”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

My sister spoke as if incredulous.

“We’ve been together! I haven’t been able to say anything all this time!”

“That’s why I’m telling you to go.”

My sister took a step back.

The surrounding scenery gradually distorted. And one by one, it slowly began to collapse.

Just like the scene of space collapsing that I had seen earlier.

“From now on, we’ll be far apart. We’re both used to it anyway. We were always far apart.”

That’s true.

We were separated by the realms of life and death.

“So… let’s meet next time. That would be better.”

“Please…!”

I struggled to reach out, but the distance only grew.

The scenery had already completely collapsed and distorted, turning black.

All I could see was my sister.

Just my sister, growing distant.

“…So, let’s meet much later. In the distant future. You need to bring lots of stories then.”

“There are still things I haven’t given you—”

“I know.”

My sister said.

“But I’ve already received them.”

She raised her hand to show me. There was a small wristwatch.

“This was enough.”

My sister said.

“I’ve received a lot. This time, I’m giving to you.”

My sister, waving to me as I drifted away, was smiling.

No, she also seemed to be crying.

Am I losing her again, this time too?

Even if I reached out, even if I tried to go there, I couldn’t go back.

I was drifting away too quickly, like falling from a high place.

“It was really nice to see you after so long.”

In a small voice, barely audible as her face became too distant, my sister said:

“This time, please just be happy.”

With those playful words, I regained consciousness.

*

The first thing I felt was pain.

Various parts of my body felt hot and fused together.

“How strange.”

Nirlas said with a puzzled voice.

“That you could emerge from within, I wonder what went wrong.”

“Nothing went wrong.”

I said.

My hand stretched out.

Though it hurt as if my entire body was on fire, I could move.

Our appearance probably wasn’t intact.

My body was on fire.

It was the blue fire I had seen many times before.

It probably didn’t ignite immediately when my body was absorbed.

It must be burning again as my consciousness returned.

“Kotone!”

I heard a voice filled with complex emotions.

I moved forward.

Nirlas seemed reluctant, bracing his body.

My face. My body.

And Nirlas connected to the back.

“Yuka! Koko!”

When I called, Yuka got up and ran over.

Koko rose from her place a little later.

Injured all over, she seemed to be struggling.

I “felt” Nirlas trying to get up. As if our two bodies had become one—

No, they were already one. The fact that my consciousness moved separately was itself an anomaly.

I looked up at the sky.

The distorted space was gradually returning to its original form.

“Hahaha!”

Nirlas laughed.

“I see, so that was your thought!”

Though he was still trying to go in the opposite direction as if unwilling to let me go easily, I could also feel his joy.

Not joy that I felt, but joy that Nirlas felt.

“Yes, this was the ‘narrative’!”

With Nirlas’s cheerful laughter in the background, Yuka ran to me.

Yes, this was the narrative.

—You will die.

I died. Twice. Both times by someone I believed in.

And so, the world came to this situation.

Despite preparing so many weapons, a horrific future where time freezes and space melts away without a chance to use them.

All of this happened because I died.

Then.

To prevent the worst in such a situation, what was needed?

—Think once more.

The prophecy left by another Kudan.

That was the way to prevent future calamity, he said.

Who would be the person to think again?

I had heard those words many times already.

But in the end, the future didn’t change, and the situation became what it is now.

…The person who needed to change their thinking had to be someone who could definitively resolve this situation.

In the distance, I could see Kagami barely managing to get up.

Was it because of my expression?

She even discarded the mirror she had been preciously holding and staggered toward me.

She looked so desperate.

I barely held onto my melting body and consciousness.

How would I appear to Yuka?

Wouldn’t it be too horrific?

…I was so sorry to show such a sight.

I stabbed my chest with my hand.

And forcibly pulled it apart sideways.

Nirlas’s laughter grew louder. How could he make such a laughing sound when he must be in pain too?

Earlier, Nirlas had remained fine even with his neck half-cut.

That’s probably because his vital point is different from what ordinary people might think.

“…!”

Groaning in pain, I widened the wound further.

There was some kind of “center” there.

It looked different from a human heart. But it was beating like a heart that circulates blood.

Was this the source of the heartbeat I felt even after our bodies had fused?

It was possible because the body was amorphous.

Yuka’s expression darkened.

As if shocked by my action, her pace slowed a bit.

“Yuka, please.”

I said.

There wasn’t much time left to maintain this state.

Yes.

The person who needed to change their thinking had to be someone who had never changed their mind.

Whenever the topic of my life came up, Yuka always said she had “thought once more.”

But even so, her thoughts never changed.

Yuka had never once thought about killing me.

So—

“Yuka.”

“…Kotone.”

As if she didn’t understand what I was saying, Yuka stopped with a blank expression.

The sword in her hand still gleamed emptily.

“…Yuka. Please.”

I looked straight at Yuka and said:

“…Just think once more.”