Ch.179Aria – 5

“Revenge? Of course I want it. But how can I in this state?”

I’d want that too if I could. But the problem was that I didn’t know how.

Even now, I was only slightly better than before, still having to use all my strength just to breathe. If I spoke even slightly longer sentences like just now, I would inevitably end up gasping for breath.

Unless I could stop the fundamental cause—my power flowing out to Aria—I might as well consider myself unable to move even a finger.

“Think about that woman’s actions. What she said. She took your power and spoke of a seal, but she did not break it and disappeared. She left you with a possibility. Why do you think that is?”

“…Because she couldn’t absorb it all?”

“Correct.”

The demon god calmly affirmed. I had recalled how she initially tried to swallow my power but nearly died, and it seemed that was the right answer.

“She might have been able to accept half of what remained after the sealing. But that woman’s body is still far too inadequate to accept all of your power. If she could have, would she have left any of your power behind?”

“No.”

Aria disappeared saying that the power she had absorbed was enough to achieve her purpose. Which also meant she left the rest behind intact.

Considering that she likely knew my full capabilities better than I did with my sealed memories, it would be more accurate to say she couldn’t rather than she didn’t. She wouldn’t have left any room for uncertainty.

Especially after letting her guard down and getting her shoulder pierced at the end.

“I don’t know how to stop the power from flowing to that woman. But I do know how to make her give it up voluntarily.”

“Like how she tried to swallow it at first but couldn’t handle it and gave it back?”

“Precisely. Once she spits it out, it will return to you.”

So rather than us doing something separately, we need to make her return the power herself.

It seemed possible. If she didn’t want to die from her body exploding right before achieving her plan, she would have to.

“What if she just tries what she was originally planning to do anyway, since the power is flowing in endlessly?”

“Adjusting the world is an extremely delicate task. Rest assured, she won’t be able to do it while her body is on the verge of overflowing and bursting.”

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

After answering, I tried to get up but collapsed again. It seemed I still wasn’t ready. Giving up, I just raised my head while remaining prone.

“You know the method, right?”

“Of course. Despite my current state, I was once undeniably a god.”

“However, there is an issue,” the goddess interjected abruptly.

“We can break the seal, but retrieving your past memories from within is your responsibility. That means directly confronting your past, and you must overcome the safety measure that woman put in place with your own strength. Can you do it?”

Past memories.

Honestly, in my current state, I had no way of knowing how horrific the memories sealed inside might be. That was natural since they were sealed.

Right now, all I remembered was killing humans indiscriminately and killing all demons too. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t uneasy about it.

But at this point, this was my only option.

“I have to try. But what do you mean by safety measure?”

“I only know what I heard that woman say, so I don’t know the details. However, she said she placed the most reliable safety measure in case you somehow figured out how to release the seal, so it’s clear you’ll need to be cautious.”

The most reliable safety measure—what could it be that made her so confident?

“I understand.”

Either way, staying here writhing on the floor would lead nowhere. I nodded. The voice came closer.

“Very well. Since your resolve seems firm, I won’t ask again. Remember, there is no second chance. This is our last effort, and afterward, we can only watch.”

“From now on, it’s up to you. I wish you good fortune, human from the outside.”

The mental connection broke. With a sensation of something flowing into my body, my consciousness slowly began to sink. Soon after, my vision went dark.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing in a cold space. It seemed I had succeeded.

‘Where is thi—’

As I was looking around trying to assess the situation, I froze at the sight of a woman who appeared nearby.

Cradling something like a crystal orb preciously in her arms, the woman who had been kneeling slowly raised her head. The moment I saw her face, a chill ran through my entire body.

‘So this is what they meant by safety measure…’

Latina.

Latina Glacia.

Though she couldn’t be called a saint, she was a woman who deserved the title.

She had cared for humans more than anyone else but was betrayed and killed by them—the woman who had made me lose hope in humanity and consider making a deal with the Demon King was now looking at me.

“…”

Whether the blue crystal orb in her right hand was the memory itself or the key to finding it didn’t matter. My legs gave out. I collapsed to the floor.

Memories that had been blurred became clear again.

The weak voice urging me to flee, the pool of red blood spreading around her body, the dimming focus in her eyes that were turned toward me, the sensation of her dying hand growing cold—all of it.

All those memories came back to life the moment I saw Latina.

“Haa… haa…”

My breathing became rapid. I felt nauseous. Was this how Leona felt when she met Elysier? Though I was clearly breathing in, no oxygen was reaching my brain. My vision blurred.

Without oxygen, my breathing rate increased, and as it increased, breathing became even more difficult—a vicious cycle. Yet my body simply wouldn’t obey.

“Kuhek… huk…”

The phantom pain I thought had faded struck more violently than ever, sending endless agony through my left arm. My arm bent. As strength left me, my body swayed heavily.

My head kept drooping. My consciousness was gradually fading. Because of this, I didn’t notice someone approaching, or that someone crouching in front of me.

Someone placed a hand on my shoulder as I was half-dying, making sounds closer to choking than hyperventilation.

“Are you alright?”

“…Kuheuk, cough! Cough!”

The moment I heard the voice, my breathing returned to normal speed. Oxygen entering through my nose and mouth spread to my dying internal organs and extremities. Panting, I barely managed to lift my head.

“You don’t look well.”

“…”

Was she saying the exact same words as when we first met in the first world because Aria had set it up that way? Or was it simply because I looked that bad?

I stared up at her blankly. Latina looked back at me for a moment, then rolled up the sleeve of her nun’s habit to her palm. Soon, I felt the slightly stiff fabric touch my face.

“You’re crying.”

Only then did I realize I was crying. I raised my trembling right hand to touch my cheek. It was wet. Latina, still expressionless, carefully wiped my eyes and cheeks.

And we had to stay like that for quite some time. So much so that when her right sleeve became completely soaked and unusable, she had to hold the crystal orb in her other hand and wipe with her left sleeve.

After some time, my blurred vision returned to normal. Our eyes met as we were at the same level. The moment I saw those gray pupils, my mind went blank. I didn’t know what to say.

Whether this was really Latina or just a safety measure, what I should say if it was her, what I should do if it wasn’t, whether she remembered her own death, and if she did, whether it troubled her…

All these thoughts appeared and disappeared dozens at a time within a second.

“Are you the owner of these sealed memories?”

“Ah…”

A sigh escaped reflexively. Her tone suggested she didn’t know me at all.

I gave a bitter smile at the phantom pain in my arm. I had expected this was likely, but facing it directly was not easy to accept.

Yes, this isn’t the real Latina. She’s just a safety measure placed to prevent the seal from being broken, as the goddess put it. But even so, I felt like I was suffocating.

As I remained silent, Latina tilted her head.

“Could it be you’re not? I was told no one else could enter this space.”

“No… Yes. They’re my memories.”

I nodded with difficulty. Latina then held out the crystal orb in her right hand.

“I’m glad you are. Here, this is what you’re looking for.”

I stared in bewilderment, looking back and forth between the crystal orb extended toward me and Latina. Latina tilted her head again.

“Didn’t you say these were yours? Why aren’t you taking it?”

“…Why are you giving this to me? Aren’t you… supposed to protect it—”

“Though I may be a weak and frail woman, I’m not so foolish as to completely misunderstand the situation. What reason would there be to force someone as frail as me to guard this object that clearly contains something extraordinary? Isn’t it to stop whatever might come looking for it, since the object itself cannot be stopped? I imagine my very existence must play an important role.”

“…”

Latina gave me a slight smile.

“Until now it was merely speculation, but seeing your reaction, it seems I’m correct.”

“I…”

I tried to say something but closed my mouth. It felt like anything I said would be out of place in the current situation.

“What are you so afraid of that you hesitate? A good person like you.”

“…Did you say a good person?”

“Yes. You are a good person. Though you may be adrift in the storms of life, the lighthouse’s light remains steadfast in its place. This unskilled and weak body can see that very clearly. But the one who ordered me to protect this was not like that. Looking deeply into the world wrapped in light, I could see fire and sulfur boiling.”

It happened again. Except for the added description of Aria, it was exactly the same explanation she gave when she first met me.

“My arm hurts. Won’t you please take what I’m offering and relieve this frail woman’s pain?”

Latina shook the arm holding the crystal orb. I hurriedly took it from her.

“Yes, um, ah… I’m sorry. For being late.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. Oh, though if you had delayed a little longer, I might have followed my original purpose and tried to harm you.”

“What?”

“Why are you so seriously surprised? It was just a joke.”

Latina finally sighed in relief and patted the shoulder that had been holding the crystal orb, while I stood there staring at her blankly. Then I startled.

My body was starting to fade from the toes up. Noticing my reaction, Latina calmly said:

“Don’t be alarmed. My purpose for existing has disappeared, so naturally this had to happen.”

“But, wait, if I give it back…”

“How can you take back what’s already been given? Don’t say such nonsense.”

My hand, having lost its destination, wandered in the air for a moment before dropping limply.

“Since a human born to human parents clearly cannot exist in such a mental realm, I must be an artificially recreated being. If that’s the case, this is the natural order, so you needn’t be sad.”

“…I still have things to say…”

I had so much to say. If there was enough time—no, even if there wasn’t enough, it would be fine. Just enough time to say a few things would suffice. But seeing her body disappearing more and more, I couldn’t think straight.

Latina placed her hand on top of my head.

“You have much time left, but I have none, so I will speak first.”

I quietly closed my mouth. Our eyes met. Those gray eyes looked at me just like they did in my memory.

“Whatever happened between us in the past, it was not your fault. So… go, you. Go and do what you need to do now.”

—As you always have.

“…”

The hand on my head fell away. I looked at Latina, and she looked back at me. Behind her, large cracks appeared in the space.

The world created solely to seal my power and memories was slowly crumbling.

“…Yes, Sister.”

I quietly stood up, addressing her not by name but by the title I used when we first met. Suppressing the chill that enveloped my entire body and the phantom pain still eating away at my left arm, I turned around.

A voice came from behind me.

“You said you had something to say, but you’re leaving without saying it?”

“…”

I stopped.

Something to say. There was a lot. So much. Even at this moment, thoughts were randomly popping up in my head.

“…It was an honor to be with you, Sister.”

But this was what I really wanted to say.

“…You won’t call me by my name.”

A quiet murmur reached me.

“Still, I’m glad you seem to be doing well.”

Her fading body finally scattered into the air. Through her lips, her final words echoed:

“Thank you. For not falling apart.”