Ch.174Epilogue: Family (3)

Yes, I couldn’t give up on everything.

Besides, let me say it again: I was getting used to this kind of thing in many ways.

Hadn’t I already raised four children? If two more were added… Well, it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t think it would be impossible either.

Hayun and Jihye felt the same way.

The three of us weren’t “romantically in love” with each other.

But we all wanted a beautiful family. And for that to happen, there needed to be absolute trust in each other and a definite love for me.

Well, even without such conditions.

Yes, what reason is there to set conditions or justifications for loving someone and having children?

*

The first time I was pregnant, I was scared.

It felt like my body wasn’t my own anymore. Watching my belly swell seemed like a warning that the pain would only get worse.

To be honest, during labor, feeling the contractions, I wondered if I could ever get pregnant again.

But when I saw the baby’s face, those thoughts immediately vanished.

Looking at a child who resembled me and the person who loved me, the person I loved—that was enough reward to erase all the previous pain.

The second pregnancy was a bit better. I would stroke my belly fondly, watching the baby grow.

The baby moving inside my belly was so lovable.

And the third time…

“…”

“…Can you hear it?”

Ju-a whispered softly to me.

“Hmm…”

With my ear pressed against Ju-a’s swollen belly and my eyes closed, I shook my head with a wry smile.

Well, I wouldn’t be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat just by putting my ear against her belly. It’s a sound that can barely be detected with an ultrasound machine.

I had already seen what the baby looked like. The image from the ultrasound wasn’t very clear, and honestly, the baby looked a bit wrinkly, but still, it was my child and so beautiful.

I couldn’t hear anything, but—

“Ah.”

I chuckled as I felt something gently pushing my face away.

“Looks like I was invading someone’s privacy too much.”

Feeling the baby move its foot through the belly to push my face away, I smiled and lifted my head from Ju-a’s stomach.

The baby probably couldn’t see or feel me, but that fact was endearing. Soon enough, I’d be able to touch those tiny feet that had pushed me away.

“…I can’t believe it.”

Ju-a, who had waited the longest, said as she stroked her belly.

“…”

I gently caressed her belly.

I thought about making a joke, but decided not to say anything.

I was just grateful.

The reason I, who had been so twisted and alone in this world, could love someone this much was obviously because there were people who loved me just as much.

We were simply waiting patiently together for our children to come to us.

*

When I had my first child, I didn’t properly notice it, but with my last child and this time giving birth, I realized something.

It’s not that there aren’t contractions, and it really does hurt like death, but the duration and intensity of those contractions are a bit less than before.

Among our four-person marriage, I was the only one who wasn’t a first-time mother. The other wives had each given birth to only one child.

Perhaps because of that, this time I finished giving birth much earlier than Ju-a.

“Jieun.”

Hayun held my hand tightly.

This time too, the child in my arms looked so small and fragile. The baby couldn’t open its eyes properly, and its skin was wrinkled like it had been in water too long.

But I already found this child so beautiful.

With just a little time, the skin would become soft. When the child who couldn’t walk for a long time first rolled over, when they started walking—even though I’d seen it several times before, I would still cry.

It would be the same when I first heard the word “Mom.”

In that sense, we wouldn’t have to fight over whose title the child called first. We were all “Mom.”

Jia.

That was the name this child would have.

The name of the child Ju-a gave birth to was Jueun.

And so, our four-person marriage had six daughters.

*

They say when you have many children, the house becomes chaotic.

To be honest, if there weren’t four of us, I don’t know what would have happened. It’s only because we can divide roles that I haven’t collapsed already.

Our mornings are naturally busy.

“Jiyun, Eunha!”

I caught the two children who were about to leave through the front door and handed them their phones.

“Ah, I almost forgot!”

“Mom, thank you!”

“Don’t run too much. You’ll fall again.”

“Okay, Mom, I love you!”

“Love you!”

I wonder who they take after to be able to speak like that.

At least not after me. They probably take after Hayun, or they learned from watching what we say and do.

If so, at least we taught them one thing well.

…Or is it that I’m using myself as a negative example and doing my best to raise the children, and that’s having an effect?

Well, either way, it’s something to be proud of.

“I’ll take Eunhye and Yeji to kindergarten and be back.”

“I’ll be right back up.”

After the first and second children left, it was time for the third and fourth to go.

Ju-a and Jihye each grabbed one of the two children, whose eyes were still half-closed, and quickly went out the front door. Both children had hair sticking out in all directions and were dressed in simple tracksuits.

To be honest, I found that sight beautiful too. Hmm, is our honeymoon phase still not over? If we’re talking about the conventional honeymoon, it should have ended already.

Anyway, after all that commotion, the house became a bit quieter.

Jia and Jueun were still too young to go to kindergarten, but once this time passed, there wouldn’t be any major issues.

No matter how young the children are, there’s no problem when four people are taking care of them.

I quickly turned around and headed to the kitchen where Hayun was.

Hayun was cleaning up the breakfast battlefield on the table. As I quickly joined her at the table, Hayun smiled slightly.

“Did the kids leave well?”

“Yes, they left well.”

I pushed back my fallen bangs behind my ear and picked up the empty bowls to move them with Hayun.

After quickly rinsing them with water and putting the dishes in the dishwasher, we both took a deep breath and sat down in chairs.

After waiting a moment, Ju-a and Jihye opened the front door and came back into the house.

They also took deep breaths and sat down on the sofa.

“I wonder if we should move to a bigger place.”

“Certainly, it would be good for the children to have their own rooms when they all grow up.”

Ju-a responded decisively to Jihye’s comment.

For now, we all share one room. It was a bit cramped, to be honest. After all, the master bedroom was designed with only two people in mind.

Well, we didn’t actually spend that much time in the room, so it wasn’t too uncomfortable.

But we couldn’t have the children sharing rooms in pairs forever.

“That’s… something to think about. If there was some empty land available, I’d just build a detached house.”

“Should I look into it?”

Hayun asked in response to my comment.

“Let’s think about it a bit.”

My head would hurt if we started looking into it right away.

Right now… I just wanted to rest a bit.

The other three seemed to feel the same way, as we all spent some time slumped in our chairs. Fortunately, Jia and Jueun didn’t wake up and fuss.

It was a bit tiring, but this fatigue wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

I don’t think I’ll be a perfect mother, but at least Jiyun and Eunha haven’t caused any major problems so far. That means our education hasn’t been completely wrong.

So, this was a satisfying peace. Like the slight exhaustion you feel after exercising hard… Hmm, is that a strange comparison?

“…Want a snack?”

I suddenly thought of it and said so.

My three wives turned their heads toward me and smiled.

At this time of day, you get a bit hungry. Actually, food that you shove into your mouth right after waking up doesn’t go down well, and often something happens that prevents you from eating properly.

Eat a little, and when there’s time, fill the remaining hunger.

That’s what I was doing.

I got up, tore open the bread I had bought, and put it in the toaster.

“…”

Again, all four of us said nothing.

But that silence wasn’t a heavy one.

It was a time when we were so familiar with each other, being together was so natural, that we didn’t need to say anything.

I couldn’t help but smile, lifting the corners of my mouth slightly.

Yes.

This might be the life I wanted.

A life filled with people I love who could fill the emptiness I first felt when I came to this world.

Click.

The nicely toasted bread popped up from the toaster.

I took out those two pieces of bread and put in the next ones.

I couldn’t eat alone, could I?

As much as we love, we should share.

That’s why we got married.