Ch.173Epilogue: Family (2)

I don’t take childcare lightly.

In fact, I already know how much trouble young children can cause. That’s partly why I suggested we take our time before having children.

Though I’ve never raised my own child, the orphanage had children of all ages—from newborns to elementary, middle, and high school students.

Children don’t just grow up on their own once they’re past infancy. Middle schoolers don’t automatically behave well, and high schoolers develop different ways of thinking as they mature.

Still, I wanted to have children. It wasn’t a calculated decision… isn’t that natural? When you love someone, don’t you want to have children with them?

“Alright,” Hayun nodded after serious consideration.

She had agreed to “six children.”

Ju-a and Jihye felt similarly. They didn’t even think it needed further discussion.

It meant they were thinking exactly what I was thinking.

Should I call it fortunate? Our marriage has four people. That means we have twice as many hands to care for children compared to other couples.

Many people in the world raise three or four daughters—how could the four of us not manage six children?

We weren’t planning to have all six at once, but rather to plan properly and have two at a time, slowly.

After agreeing to this, we checked our finances again.

Setting aside the support from our parents-in-law, the money we’d saved ourselves wasn’t immediately insufficient. Adding in whatever subsidies we qualified for and our current income, we calculated that we should have enough for now.

“…”

We looked at each other and nodded.

It was a moment of firm resolve.

*

Hayun was the first wife to become pregnant.

And me too.

At first, I thought my body could handle it. I’d always maintained my physical fitness, and our work required good stamina anyway.

But having a child wasn’t as easy as I’d thought.

It came with many challenges. My back hurt, my shoulders were stiff, and accepting the changes in my body wasn’t so simple.

If someone asked what changed day by day, I couldn’t point to any dramatic differences, but the physical changes were so clearly felt that it was difficult in many ways.

Still, having someone you love by your side was wonderful.

I felt happy sitting next to Hayun in a pair of chairs, basking in the sunlight. My body felt heavy, but the baby inside was precious. Of course it was. This child was one we truly wanted.

We enjoyed sitting side by side in silence, holding hands and looking out the window. Sometimes, we would place our hands on each other’s bellies to check on the babies.

Weren’t they the fruits of our love? They were also children we would love for the rest of our lives. Those swollen bellies were so precious.

It was actually Ju-a and Jihye who fussed over us.

“Jieun, are you okay? Are your arms or legs feeling numb? Should I massage them?”

“Hayun, please tell me if you need anything. I can support you if you need to go somewhere.”

Hayun and I smiled and said we were fine, but they clearly didn’t think we were completely okay.

And indeed, the biggest ordeal was the day of giving birth.

To be honest, I don’t remember much.

Almost all I remember is the pain. Jihye and Ju-a tried hard to comfort me, and even Hayun called my name, but all those memories are hazy.

In the final moment, I was tightly holding Hayun’s hand—

“Jieun.”

When I came to my senses, I was holding my baby, handed to me by Jihye.

A wrinkly baby with hair soaked in fluid. When I first held her, I honestly couldn’t quite believe it. It was hard to believe this tiny, red-skinned child had come from my body.

But soon, my vision blurred. I could feel the baby’s warm body temperature through the blanket.

As warm as the baby felt, I felt my body warming up too.

We decided to name the baby Jiyun. The child Hayun gave birth to was named Eunha.

That’s how we had our first set of twins.

…Though I’m not sure if they can be called twins when they came from different wombs.

*

For about a year, we devoted ourselves to childcare.

Everything was new, so all four of us were somewhat clumsy.

I learned for the first time how painful it is to leave breast milk accumulated in the chest. It didn’t take long to realize that nursing the baby was a process that relieved physical pain.

Should I call it strange?

The child Hayun gave birth to resembled me. The child I gave birth to resembled Hayun.

They were both girls. Well, I heard this was inevitable. We didn’t particularly want sons, so we weren’t dissatisfied with that.

After focusing on childcare for about a year, we developed some know-how. We figured out how to efficiently divide roles among the four of us, how to organize things, how to cook—we gradually figured it all out.

So, a little over a year after Jiyun and Eunha were born, we planned for our next children.

*

It’s quite strange.

There’s a joke you sometimes see online—”This isn’t how family should be”—but our love didn’t cool even as time passed.

At first, I was a bit worried whether we could maintain this relationship for a lifetime, but it wasn’t impossible to lead this somewhat different family as long as we respected and loved each other.

“…Ah, it moved.”

Jihye knelt in front of me with her ear against my belly and said with a smile.

Even though Jihye herself had a protruding belly, she was sitting in front of my chair thinking about her child inside me.

“I think I understand now.”

“What?”

“You know how some men are strangely serious about getting women pregnant.”

“…Did you see that in a manga?”

“No, I saw it in a drama.”

I laughed incredulously while stroking Jihye’s hair.

It wasn’t as difficult as the first time.

I only had one experience, but that single experience helped with the second time. It wasn’t easy, but that slight familiarity helped us support each other and move forward.

Ju-a, who had already helped raise a child, and Hayun, who had been raising children with us for the past year, now understood what condition our bodies were in, so they didn’t fuss too much.

That’s not to say giving birth was easy.

This time, I remembered the journey to the hospital, but again, the moment of giving birth wasn’t in my memory.

“Jieun.”

Around the time I could see Ju-a with tears welling in her eyes, holding my hand.

Once again, I felt a small baby cradled in my arms.

They say a mother’s brain produces drugs that quickly circulate through the body the moment she holds her baby, and that seemed true.

For a moment, I forgot all the pain I had felt and only experienced the joy of holding my child in my arms.

This child’s name was Eunhye. And the child Jihye gave birth to was named Yeji.

These were the names of our precious treasures.

*

Another year passed.

Jiyun and Eunha had grown a lot. Of course, they still couldn’t be thought of without the word “child.” They were far from living independently—we could barely take our eyes off them. They had only just outgrown being called “newborns.”

They had gained some weight and were now not just walking but running around.

And we could catch a slight breather. At three years old by Western counting, or five by Korean age, they were old enough to send to kindergarten.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we were careless with the children outside those hours.

We were just grateful that we could pay more attention to the children who hadn’t completely outgrown being called “newborns.”

“I want you to know I haven’t given up.”

“Huh? Given up what?”

One day while taking care of the children, I blinked when Ju-a suddenly said that.

“I still want to have your child, and I want you to have mine.”

“…”

I gave a small laugh.

Ju-a seemed a bit indignant at my laughter, but she quieted down when I put my hand on her waist and whispered in her ear.

“Do you think I don’t feel the same?”

Of course I do.

Don’t I?

From the beginning, I said I would bear children for all three of my wives.

I couldn’t let that promise, made with love, become a lie.

And by now, we were really getting used to taking care of children.