Ch.171Chapter 171: Watching You Not Wake Up

⚜

Despite moving at an astonishingly fast speed.

Through the blinds covering the window of the train that offers comfort even more surprising than its speed.

“Nngh…!!”

The morning sunlight shines on my eyes.

What wakes me from my morning slumber is always the same.

The sunlight filtering through the window like now.

And that gentle voice that wakes me at the appointed time.

It’s always been that way.

There was a time when I didn’t want to show him my defenseless sleeping face.

I would always rub my sleepy eyes and force myself to get up to face him.

But now, having him come to wake me is the first happiness I encounter each day.

I’ve been sleeping comfortably, hoping he would see my disheveled appearance anytime.

Yet today, it was the morning sunlight that woke me first, not him.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t closed the blinds properly and the earlier morning light broke through.

It was actually a bit past the time when he would normally wake me.

It was strange.

These past few days, ever since we boarded this train.

He would always wake up first and come to rouse me.

I loved how he would gently wake me up.

I even prayed before sleeping that every day would be like this.

But today.

Cal didn’t come to wake me.

I wasn’t feeling upset about it.

Though a small doubt was beginning to rise in my mind.

But thinking about it, I seemed to understand the reason.

“…It’s the last day.”

That’s right.

Today was the morning of the last day of our train journey toward the Lanos Duchy—a journey I had wished would continue forever.

Despite having just completed a major task like the Subjugation Festival.

Without proper time to rest.

Cal would need to busy himself with family matters related to the succession.

This was the last day he could sleep comfortably.

Realizing this, a corner of my heart felt strangely heavy.

Partly because I felt down thinking that Cal, who would be busy with family matters, wouldn’t be able to pay attention to me for a while.

“…He must be tired.”

But the bigger reason was my concern for him, who would be busy moving around without taking care of himself.

I remember.

On my 18th birthday—a turning point in life for a student at Yoram.

He barely awakened his special ability.

And saved me from the clutches of a Mein who approached to harm me from an unknown source.

And with the determination to shine with his newly acquired special ability.

The image of Cal training himself, saving even his sleeping time.

Going through processes that others would find impossible to imitate without a single complaint.

Taking time out of his busy schedule to offer me warm words despite his own difficulties…

I remember every moment of the past few months without missing a single detail.

It seems like just yesterday when he was mercilessly pushing himself, saying he would become nothing more than a shooting star, let alone a star hanging in the sky.

But now he shines like the brightest morning star among all the stars in the night sky.

Without taking care of himself.

It was a sight anyone would praise as admirable.

But honestly, I was worried.

Trusting his awakened special ability of super-regeneration.

I worried that his neglect of his own body might become a heavy burden on him someday.

“…When would he rest if not on a day like this.”

I couldn’t help but say this.

Because I was concerned about his body that had been running non-stop.

Just for today, wouldn’t it be okay for him to sleep in?

“…Sigh.”

As these thoughts crossed my mind, a light sigh escaped my lips.

It was a sigh dominated by concern for him.

And besides such worry, there was another emotion blooming in my mind…

“I wonder what Cal looks like when he’s asleep.”

Though I’ve seen it a few times recently.

In the past, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see.

The natural flutter in my heart as I imagined his defenseless sleeping face.

“Ahem, ahem.”

I tried to calm it with a fake cough because I felt embarrassed.

But it wouldn’t calm down.

Imagining Cal sleeping comfortably in bed.

It’s impossible to calm down, after all.

As I kept thinking about Cal.

My body, which had risen from the bed, was now standing in front of the long vertical mirror placed at the washbasin.

Though I had gone to bed early in preparation for tomorrow.

My face, still covered with sleepiness that I couldn’t completely shake off, was reflected in the mirror.

“…”

Silently looking at my reflection, I gathered my thoughts that needed organizing after just waking up.

First, I should calmly recall what I need to do today.

Wash my face first.

Then tidy my hair.

Change my clothes.

Pack the simple luggage provided in the sleeping compartment.

Prepare to disembark at the Lanos Duchy, where we’ll arrive today.

Exit the compartment and greet the precious companions traveling with me.

Check if the most precious person among them is there.

If not, go to the sleeping compartment where he might be sleeping.

Make him as comfortable as possible while he sleeps.

“…Perfect.”

It was such a good plan that I couldn’t help but let out an admiring voice.

“I should hurry.”

My movements became busy as I voiced my urgency once more.

⚜

After completing all preparations and leaving the sleeping compartment, I headed to the passenger car.

“Good morning.”

“Oh, Lily, good morning.”

“Sizz, you’re up. You’re not the last one to wake up today.”

I see three people greeting me happily.

Excel, my childhood friend.

Princess Lukius, whom I met for the first time on this trip but have become close with in a short period.

And Iriana, whom I consider like an older sister.

Hearing them greet me with their distinctive voices.

I could tell that Cal was indeed still not up, as I had expected.

Though I felt a mix of worry and understanding about his condition.

“Good morning.”

Without showing it on my face, I calmly returned their greetings and headed to my seat.

Iriana quickly approached me and said.

“It’s unusual, isn’t it? Cal, who always wakes up first and quietly waits until it’s time to wake Sizz, then heads to your sleeping compartment—now he’s oversleeping.”

Her voice was calm as usual, though a bit chatty.

But despite the calmness, her expression showed a peculiar playfulness unlike her usual self.

“Why don’t you go check on my little brother’s condition?”

It was a playfulness that seemed to see right through my intention to head to Cal’s sleeping compartment with some excuse.

In the past, I would have shaken my head vigorously and denied it.

But not now.

This was an opportunity to approach the person I wanted to stay close to for as long as possible.

How could I refuse?

So.

“I’ll go check on him.”

A calm voice saying I would go came from my mouth, not a refusal.

Hearing this, a faint smile appeared on Iriana’s face.

“I’m counting on you.”

I heard kindness similar to Cal’s always gentle voice.

Ah, they really are siblings who share the same blood.

That kindness that seems to see right through and move my heart.

Some people express doubt about them being siblings based on their hair color.

But I know well.

Though they might seem a bit blunt at first impression.

There are no kinder people in the world than the Lanos siblings, Cal and Iriana.

“Well then…”

After exchanging a glance with her, I headed toward the sleeping compartment where Cal would be sleeping.

As I walked, imagining Cal sleeping comfortably, my heartbeat grew louder with each step.

⚜

I carefully opened the door to the sleeping compartment where he would be.

Befitting the latest model train on its first run.

The door hinges didn’t make a sound, and as I felt the luxurious texture of the door.

“…Excuse me.”

A voice smaller than an ant’s footsteps came from my mouth.

And my body entered the sleeping compartment where Cal would be sleeping.

From the moment I carefully opened the door, my mind was filled with.

The image of Cal sleeping comfortably and defenseless.

I struggled to calm my frantically beating heart.

But making such efforts seem futile.

When I finally saw Cal’s sleeping figure, from my mouth came.

“…Cal?”

A voice tinged with indescribable worry escaped.

I couldn’t help it.

I had believed without doubt that he would be sleeping comfortably today of all days.

Though I had entered quietly.

My worry that Cal’s recently improved sense might detect me.

“…”

Changed into a different form of concern as I saw him groaning in a state that could hardly be described as mere discomfort.

Discomfort.

Yes, this is discomfort.

For reasons unknown.

Cal’s face, which had been full of comfort until just before falling asleep yesterday.

Was now filled with deep worry.

And that worry seemed to be disturbing even his peaceful sleep.

“Ugh… ugh…”

He was groaning and suffering.

Seeing the cold sweat flowing from his forehead naturally doubled my concern.

After seeing the series of scenes unfolding before my eyes.

I couldn’t remember how I had approached so close to the sleeping Cal’s face.

All I remembered was that I had hurried to Cal’s side.

And despite moving so quickly.

I had made footsteps quieter than breathing sounds, fearing I might wake him.

That was all.

After that momentary trance-like state ended.

The first action I took upon realizing I had entered his personal space was to reach out my hand.

That outstretched hand was heading toward Cal’s forehead.

It was a very basic diagnosis to check his body condition by feeling the temperature of his forehead.

And the temperature of Cal that I felt with my right hand on his forehead was…

“…Thank goodness.”

It was normal.

Seeing him groan and cold sweat on his forehead.

I was worried he might be suffering from a high fever.

But fortunately, feeling his forehead that showed no such signs.

“Phew…”

It was only natural that a deep sigh of relief came out.

But the relief was only momentary.

“…Why?”

I couldn’t understand why he was groaning and suffering when he didn’t seem to be in pain.

The relief in my mind was inevitably replaced with worry.

If there were external factors like fever visible.

I could take care of him by placing a wet towel to cool him down.

But in a situation like this, what should I do?

Even recalling the experiences of being cared for by him almost every day.

I felt frustrated as no good solution came to mind.

From the first time we met.

Despite his somewhat blunt and fierce impression.

This kind person who tried to make me comfortable.

Seeing him in unknown pain while asleep and not being able to do anything.

This was no different from that time when I caused him to suffer from a fever because of me.

“…”

No words could come out.

I felt a corner of my heart growing heavier, incomparable to when I had just woken up.

What should I do? How can I make him comfortable when he’s groaning and suffering like this?

I don’t want to see him suffering because of me like that time.

But… how?

I don’t know…

I was feeling self-loathing for not being able to alleviate his suffering despite my concerns.

He offered his back to me when I sprained my ankle and couldn’t move.

He always caught me when I lost balance and was about to fall.

When I cried, regardless of the reason, he always wiped away my tears.

To this grateful person, I am a foolish woman who doesn’t even know how to give him comfort and free him from nightmares.

Ah… I…

Wait, comfort?

A single word passing through my mind.

Gave me a flash of insight.

“…It might work.”

Despite my light mutter, I carefully rose.

It was a struggle to realize one method to comfort him.

I took off my shoes and moved to the bed where Cal was sleeping.

And carefully held Cal’s body with both hands.

Even though physical contact continued despite my gentle touch.

“Mmm…”

Groans originating from nightmares continued to come from Cal’s mouth.

This alone wouldn’t wake him up, let alone.

Make his body comfortable, but I didn’t mind.

Though my two hands were needed to comfort him.

Something more important hadn’t yet touched him.

I placed my thigh under Cal’s head, which I had fixed with both arms.

I wasn’t sure if this would work.

Thinking that comfort alone might not be enough to wake him from a nightmare.

It was an action taken to share body heat with him along with comfort.

Though I implemented it with half-belief.

The effect was quite good.

“…”

Cal’s groans, which had been full of suffering, suddenly subsided.

And his expression, which had been slightly frowning, now showed some comfort.

My heavy heart gradually lightened.

Now, I just need to wait a little, right?

For Cal to wake from his nightmare.

I reached out to wipe away the beads of cold sweat on his forehead.

With each wipe, I could see the comfort on Cal’s expression becoming clearer.

I was happy.

Compared to what he always gave me to make me happy.

Though this was a very meager action.

But seeing his suffering alleviated by such a small action.

I, who had always relied on him.

And couldn’t take a proper step without him.

Could now see that I too could do something for him.

“…Sorry.”

As my thoughts continued, I heard Cal’s faint voice like sleep-talking.

After writhing in pain.

It felt like he was depending on the warmth that alleviated his suffering.

“I’m sorry…”

In Cal’s apologetic voice, directed at someone unknown.

There was a poignancy that stirred the heart of the listener.

Suddenly, I became curious.

Who is the person you’re apologizing to in your dream with such a voice?

Is it me?

Or someone else?

If it were me, I would have forgiven him the moment I heard that sound.

“…sorry.”

Judging from Cal’s voice, which was still continuing his sleep-talk.

The recipient of that apology doesn’t seem to be me.

Whoever it is.

Seeing such a kind person apologizing with a tearful voice and not being accepted.

I thought that person must be really harsh.