Ch.170The Cliff of Stairs. Maximus Canyon (5)

“Hiya… You’ve certainly lived quite a tumultuous life…”

“Well. You could say that.”

In truth, those who chose the path of an adventurer all carried at least one or two misfortunes with them as a matter of course.

After all, if one had a respectable past, there would be plenty of ways to make a living without resorting to the dangerous life of an adventurer.

Scratch… scratch…

Anyway… after I candidly shared the journey of my life, David’s eyes grew as big as saucers, and he began scribbling notes almost as if possessed.

Perhaps it was the power of alcohol at work.

“Have you met many people like me?”

“Hmm? Ah… you could say that. People tend to lower their guard once they confirm I’m a journalist.”

“I see.”

I nodded.

Though the world was harsh, there were plenty of people who wanted to know what was happening across the continent or in the next village, and journalists were literally odd folks who risked their lives venturing from goblin and orc-filled caves to battlefields of elementals where layers of earth swirled like slices of cake.

Even I would occasionally pick up discarded newspapers in Parcival to keep track of the surrounding situation.

“But… you don’t look particularly wealthy, so how did you manage to board first class?”

“Ah… with a press pass, one can freely move between first class and economy. Though one must maintain a minimum dress code and etiquette, of course.”

David smiled as he said this, deliberately covering the patched areas on his worn suit with his hand.

Patched clothes… I used to consider myself fortunate if I could even have clothes patched to wear, but now I’m judging someone’s status based on a suit with just a couple of patches… truly, times have changed.

“No need to hide it. Didn’t I tell you I was poor when I was young too?”

“Ah… I apologize. It’s a habit… When dealing with nobles, one inevitably receives many criticisms about attire.”

“I suppose so…”

In these thirteen continents where one wrong word could cost you your head, those called nobles still remained in the upper echelons of society.

I still don’t know whether people become nobles because they can act stiffly even in front of adventurers who can separate bone from flesh with a shout or raise the earth’s crust with a stomp of their foot, or if they can act that way because they are nobles.

“Do you have bad blood with nobles?”

“Hahaha… as a journalist, such bad blood would be something to boast about. Fortunately or unfortunately… while I’ve been turned away at doors, I’ve never been chased off.”

“I see…”

Did I mention earlier about how I once pulled out all the teeth, fingernails, and toenails of a noble young lady?

I don’t quite remember how I killed her father and mother.

About five times, I think. When around 600 swordsmen came attacking in waves, I killed them all and then carefully cut off their heads and stuck them on the fence posts around the mansion—that’s what I just remembered.

Ah… that was tough. There were so many fence posts, and cutting, carrying, and mounting heads turned out to be more physically demanding than I’d expected.

Moreover, human heads are surprisingly wide on the sides… when I tried to mount them on the fence, the gaps were too narrow!

So I ended up having to cut off the cheek areas with a knife before I could finally make them fit the spacing.

Anyway, after killing all those attackers, things quieted down for a while. Then an orphan girl came to where I was staying and told me rumors were circulating that the nobles were looking for me.

Wondering what had happened, I rushed over to find what appeared to be servants with bloodshot eyes, having bound and forced the noble couple to kneel, begging me to spare their lives at least.

From what I could gather, after losing 600 men and seeing their heads impaled on their mansion’s bars, the terrified servants betrayed their employers to save themselves. Regardless of the circumstances, I found these traitors who betrayed their masters utterly disgusting, so I cut off all their limbs and killed them.

But then I noticed the noble couple trembling in their bonds.

After removing their gags, I asked where their daughter was, and they said she was in the hospital. Thinking that the young lady who would have to eat porridge for the rest of her life had already paid for her sins, I decided to leave her be.

But a daughter’s sins are a daughter’s sins, and parents’ sins are parents’ sins.

When I asked why they had sent so many assassins after an innocent person like me, the husband looked at me as if I were insane and said, “Did you not expect consequences after doing such a thing?”

This made me even more curious, so I asked what crime I had committed, and the wife answered.

She said that if someone pulled out all the teeth, fingernails, and toenails of someone else’s precious daughter, making her half-crippled, shouldn’t they rightfully pay for that crime according to the ways of the world?

I was dumbfounded and replied to them:

“Then how should the crime of your daughter insulting me first be repaid? Under heaven, there is a solemn law that women should follow behind men as is proper, yet your noble daughter, who should be a model for all, insulted an innocent man by calling him lowly. By rights, this crime should be paid with death. Yet in my great compassion, I showed mercy by not taking her life, for which you should be grateful and prostrate yourselves. Instead, you were indignant and sent assassins after me—this is pride and arrogance. For this, I shall punish you.”

So I asked construction workers to take the couple away, borrow some barrels and cement, and give them a beating. Unlike some others, these manly coastal laborers heard my story and applauded, saying:

“Right! A woman who defies a man and a wife who mistreats her husband should be disciplined by a man to maintain order. Those who ignore what the sun and moon have ordained and only exercise their rights as nobles should all be thrown into the sea!”

They laughed uproariously, put the couple’s legs in barrels, and poured in a mixture of spit, insults, and cement. Once the cement hardened, the workers and I rolled them to the harbor and stood them up at the dock.

As I was about to push them in, a nearby fisherman rowing asked, “What happened that you’re beating people in broad daylight?” After I explained, the fisherman nodded and handed me a dagger from his pocket, saying:

“You need to make cuts in their bellies so gas doesn’t build up, keeping them submerged.”

Thanking him, I amicably stabbed each of their bellies once before pushing them into the sea. Then a naval patrol boat approached and told me:

“If you’re going to beat people to death, do it in the deep sea. Doing it by the dock prevents currents from flowing, causing barnacles to proliferate. Since this seems to be your first time, we’ll let it slide, but do better in the future.”

I nodded, and the patrol boat sailed smoothly toward the distant sea.

I wonder how those two are doing now…

Are they, as the naval officers suggested, now homes for barnacles at the bottom of the dock?

The thought of barnacles packed tightly even inside their corpses’ intestines seemed oddly amusing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Huh? Ah… I once had an entanglement with nobles. It’s quite an interesting story… Would you like to hear it?”

“Oh my. I certainly wouldn’t refuse.”

Thinking this story had some uniqueness to it, I smiled and told David my old tale.

However, contrary to my expectations, after listening to my story, David shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but… I don’t think we can publish this story in the magazine.”

“Why not? I think it’s quite educational.”

“Well… that sort of thing can be seen anytime just by stepping outside, without having to buy a magazine. We need something more unique…”

“Ah… I see.”

“Though as you said, it does have a moral, so it might be good for a children’s fairy tale. You know, like in ‘One Hundred Tales for Children’ that kindergarteners read.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Oh, of course.”

David waved his hand dismissively, and I didn’t take his words the wrong way.

We finished our pleasant conversation and got up, and as it was time for the movie to start, I headed to the theater with my wife.

The movie was an adaptation of a classic play from Old Earth times called “Romeo and Juliet,” and it was quite well-made, perfect for passing the time.

After the movie, we went back outside to admire the scenery with our party members, and indeed, the cliff face with its seven distinct colors was worth paying to see.

And that night, my wife craved my love even more passionately than usual.