Chapter 17 – Fly Me To The Moon

Ṛｅɑｄ ｏɴ​ КａṫＲеаđ​ίṅ​ｇ​Ḉ​ａғė

Fortunately, we shared the same dream.  

A dream where werewolves gather.  

Unlike yesterday, thinking that the werewolves in this dream were all living beings made me uneasy. It felt like being stripped naked and trapped behind bars.  

But what can I do? As far as I know, I’m the only one who can access this dream.  

So, I have to take the lead and gather information. It’s a baseless sense of duty.  

But to conduct such “interviews” and collect information, I needed to calm myself first.  

Calm down. After all, no matter how many there are, it’s just a brief encounter.  

Even though it’s a group, they can’t exert physical influence immediately, and I’m only meeting them for official business.  

Just simple questions, just questions.  

Thinking like that made me feel a bit more at ease.  

“We always sleep and wake up together. We sleep and rise at the same time. It’s proof that the hearts of our White Wolf Faction are connected. A link between those who have opened their eyes to the mental world. Lately, it feels like we’re sleeping more, but that’s a misconception! This is also part of our training. If we keep training like this, the day we awaken our inner eye won’t be far off! Hahaha!”  

“…I have a question.”  

I muttered as I sat in front of a massive gray-furred werewolf.  

No matter how I thought about it, the werewolves’ attitude seemed reckless.  

“What’s the reason for reducing your waking hours to awaken this inner eye? Does the inner eye have some special meaning?”  

“Meaning, meaning. Of course, it has meaning. Awakening the inner eye means getting closer to our mental world. It means we can reach our homeland. Of course, not a physical homeland, but the homeland of the soul.”  

“Homeland? Like a spiritual home?”  

“Exactly. Don’t you know? The homeland of all wolves is the full moon. The moon that shines brightly in the night sky, illuminating the darkness. The final destination of every wolf’s journey, their homeland. The ultimate goal.”  

It was an abstract statement. The wolves’ spiritual homeland is the moon, and their journey to the moon is their life.  

The reason they train to awaken their inner eye, even falling into sleep.  

Lately, their waking hours have been decreasing.  

When I asked if they weren’t afraid of never waking up, they replied:  

“After all, our physical bodies are just burdens. We can’t reach the moon dragging such heavy things. It’s only natural. You should open your eyes too. The world we truly live in isn’t this mundane world but this ‘Idea.’ This place.”  

The relationship between reality and dreams had reversed. They considered dreams reality and chose to live in dreams.  

Even if it meant never waking up.  

Are all werewolves like this?  

Feeling complex emotions, I looked around and noticed that the number of werewolves had decreased since the last time I entered the dream.  

“Don’t worry about the ones who’ve left! There were many times more at the beginning. They’ve probably completed their training in the mental world and are now finishing their training in reality. Lucky them.”  

But I couldn’t agree with that.  

This desolate space, beyond the horizon.  

The massive hill obscured by mist on the other side of this silent space, where even the sky isn’t visible, is clearly…  

* * *  

“…Wake up, sleepyhead. You’re abandoning your duty.”  

“Hah.”  

I jerked my head up.  

My waking eyes saw the dark night sky of the city, devoid of stars.  

Perhaps because it’s all industrial zones, it lacked the liveliness of a city.  

I turned my head toward the source of the voice.  

“I came to visit! No, I came to check things out.”  

Despite her graceful, ballet-like posture as she stood precariously on the edge of the railing, her expression and attitude were utterly cheeky.  

With her short golden hair and dangling earrings, she looked sociable.  

Her outfit also looked familiar.  

It was the same outfit the delivery man wore when he came to scout me.  

I remember it clearly.  

But I had just woken up, so my emotions were dull.  

As I stared blankly at her, she started talking on her own.  

“I’m Mertzel. I came to see how our dear Vampire Lord is doing with her mission.”  

“Ah, Mertzel… from Round Ark?”  

“Exactly, yes. Well, I came on my own, but there’s a separate monitor. Actually, I came because I wanted to see the Vampire Lord”  

Vampire Lord?  

Come to think of it, until now, there was no special term to refer to me.  

At most, my callsign, Strigoi.  

But to be called “Vampire Lord” as my first title, there’s a lot to say.  

‘It’s like calling a puppy “Mr. Dog” or a kitten “Ms. Cat.”’  

It seems being incomprehensible is a trait.

People from the underworld often have that side to them.  

Mertzel spoke to me as I clicked my tongue.  

“How’s work? Have you adapted a bit to this world?”  

“Adapted, adapted….”  

I shrugged.  

“I’ve always been socially inept, so what’s there to distinguish? You adapt as you live, or you don’t.”  

Her appearance looked quite young, so I naturally spoke casually.  

Mertzel laughed at my words.  

“You’re quite cool, vampire lord.”  

“It’s not that… It’s just how it is. I’ve always lived blankly, whether I adapted or not.”  

“So, you lived by inertia, without any special meaning?”  

I nodded.  

That seemed to be the case.  

“The night world, honestly, things like a sense of belonging don’t seem to matter… As long as I survive, isn’t that enough?”  

“Beyond cool, you’re just indifferent.”  

“What’s the point of overinvesting and getting hurt alone? It just makes adapting to new environments harder… I just go with the flow.”  

But Mertzel stroked her chin after hearing my words.  

She seemed to have something to say.  

“Overinvesting is ultimately necessary for self-formation. In this underworld, a stronger sense of self is even more crucial.”  

“Necessary…?”  

“Not overinvesting, but, well, you could see it that way. Immersing yourself in reality, what’s wrong with that?”  

Well, I don’t know.  

For someone like me, who considers immersing oneself in reality a sin, it’s natural not to.  

In a way, it’s a part of me.  

“A strong sense of self?”  

“Yes. It’s the foundation of beings like us. If your mind collapses, you can no longer call yourself yourself.”  

“Hmm.”  

“We call it a Persona. It’s something you need to survive in this world. The meaning might be slightly different from the usual Persona, but….”  

The point was simple.  

“A sense of self that doesn’t collapse even in extreme situations. Ambition, a sense of improvement. You need that to live.”  

“Persona.”  

“An anchor connecting our self to the world. That’s the Persona, the most important element that allows life to exist as life. A sense of self that prevents you from losing yourself in any situation. That’s what it means.”  

I pondered her words.  

It sounded like they were just describing a strong mentality.  

According to her, this underworld is especially dangerous and exposes you to extreme situations.  

Well, with werewolves and vampires running rampant, ordinary people would struggle to survive.  

Normally, you’d suffer from PTSD, but those with strong Personas don’t seem to have that.  

Listening to it, it sounded less like a strong sense of self and more like people who’ve gone completely insane.  

“Our dear vampire lord seems to have a faint Persona, as if she wasn’t from this underworld.”  

“Well, I….”  

It doesn’t matter.  

I can live just fine without it.  

There’s no benefit to standing out with a strong sense of self or individuality.  

That kind of immersion is a sin to me.  

Blending in has always been the best.  

Mertzel fell silent after hearing my words.  

“It’s not entirely without merit, but….”  

“Right?”  

“But still, groups and individuals are different. Blending in doesn’t mean you don’t need a sense of self.”, she said.  

“Persona, self, in short, ‘theme’ The theme of the world we live in. In the end, you, this world, are all part of that Persona.”  

“Is that so?”  

“Yes. That Persona has changed with every era, and the Persona of this era is tense, unstable peace and intellect. Blending in means merging with that Persona. But are you satisfied with that?”  

I don’t know what she wants.  

Either way, having a Persona is the same, right?  

Do I really need to establish my own Persona?  

‘Originally… isn’t it because I couldn’t even blend into the group’s Persona that I’m socially inept now?’  

I couldn’t even blend into the group.  

What remained was a compulsion, a desire to blend in halfway.  

“If you want to live on, to stay sane and survive in this underworld, you should seriously think about it. What is your theme? What is your Persona? Who are you?”  

I couldn’t tell if it was advice or mockery.  

Mertzel left after those final words.  

“See you later, Vampire Lord.”  

With a spin, like a ballerina, she disappeared before my eyes.  

‘What?’  

I looked at the desolate construction site.  

Her exit was as sudden as her entrance.