Ch.16Sleeping Together (2)

*

“I must be crazy.”

Silvia muttered as she walked through the forest, clutching her cheek.

Her face still felt hot, which meant her cheeks were surely still flushed red.

Well, it was understandable.

Just recalling what had happened earlier filled her with embarrassment again, making various parts of her body tingle so intensely that she could hardly bear it without squirming.

Even though an hour had already passed, each time she remembered it, the embarrassment felt fresh and electrifying.

“Tch, how hard would it be to just say ‘yes’? Ash, you idiot.”

Silvia kicked a stone in front of her and huffed.

“No, I mean, it’s not like I was trying to do anything to him. I was just worried about his back getting ruined.”

In fact, that concern remained unchanged.

Although Ash had said he was fine, they would be spending the rest of their lives here, and she couldn’t let him sleep on that makeshift bed forever.

But neither she nor Ash had the skill to make a decent bed.

As someone who had been a knight in a noble household, the quality of a bed was quite important to her.

During her journey to defeat the Demon Lord, she had often camped in harsh conditions, but camping was just camping.

That was no excuse for an uncomfortable bed.

In fact, even during her adventures, whenever they stopped in a village, she would always search for comfortable accommodations.

The bed she was using now was the best one she had found after searching through every house in Millwood Village about a year after she started living in this forest.

Now, after so much time had passed, the other remaining beds in the village had all rotted away and become unusable.

Actually, not just beds, but all the usable furniture had been moved into the cabin or the storage shed in the backyard.

“Whatever, he’ll change his mind when his back starts hurting.”

While grumbling, Silvia had already left the stuffy forest and arrived at a small lake.

It was a small forest lake that appeared after walking quite a distance from the cabin in the opposite direction from the river.

This was a place where many of the herbs she used grew, and it was also home to fish with flavors different from those caught in the river.

Before starting to fish in earnest, she leaned over to look at her reflection in the clear surface of the lake.

Her face reflected in the water was indeed still red.

Looking at her flushed face automatically triggered the replay of earlier events in her mind.

Recalling Ash’s troubled expression while she had straddled him and buried her nose in his neck to smell him made her face burn even redder.

Her face looked like it might start steaming from her nose or ears at any moment.

Even though no one was around to see, she covered her face with both hands.

Thinking about it now, she had done something so bold that even she couldn’t understand what had possessed her, but she hadn’t initially intended to act that way.

It was just that when Ash rejected her so firmly, she felt a surge of irritation, and when he brought up that embarrassing memory too, she couldn’t hold back anymore.

“You think you’re the only one who was embarrassed?”

Silvia pointed her finger at her reflection in the water as if it were Ash.

“I was embarrassed too. Do you think it was easy for me to ask a boy to sleep together? In the first place… I don’t have much experience with men either… Ugh, now you’re making me say things like this.”

She wagged her finger at the water surface as she vented her frustration.

As she continued to huff, she looked at her frowning face reflected in the water and fell into thought.

Why was I so angry?

For reasons she couldn’t understand, the more she thought about it, the more Ash’s rejection stung.

The lingering scent of Ash at the tip of her nose, oblivious to her feelings, continued to emit a subtly sweet smell.

Silvia tapped the tip of her nose with her finger and pouted her protruding lips.

“…Am I that unappealing?”

She murmured quietly.

Well, her hands were rough and coarse from wielding a sword, and her shoulders were broad and unfeminine.

Her chest might be a bit on the larger side, but the defined muscles on her arms, legs, and abdomen were far from feminine.

Her already fierce eyes had faint dark circles from suffering nightmares, and although her skin was now flushed red, its original color was so pale it seemed almost bloodless. Even her unkempt golden hair appeared somewhat pallid.

To put it a bit roughly, she gave the impression of a robust female vampire.

It might be strange to describe an undead as robust, but that’s how she appeared nonetheless.

In the past, the men among her companions would often spend sweet time with village maidens, most of whom had delicate faces with fragile appearances, petite heights perfect for nestling into a man’s embrace, and slender waists that seemed like they could be encircled by just one of a man’s arms.

And naturally, as a hero, she was very far from being that kind of woman.

“No, it’s not like you can meet other women now anyway! And it’s not like I like you or anything!”

Silvia suddenly got angry while talking to herself.

It was behavior that would make her look insane to any observer.

But in the end, the only one receiving her finger-pointing was herself.

Silvia suddenly found it strange that she was projecting Ash onto her reflection in the water.

Something flitted through her mind.

Since no one was around anyway, she caught that fleeting thought and quietly voiced it.

“I just… didn’t want you to be lonely.”

The night before, Silvia had seen Ash calling out to his family in his sleep and shedding tears.

Judging by the white tear stains, he might have been crying throughout the night.

Just as she had nightmares due to her guilt about the people of Millwood Village, Ash might also be having nightmares because of his guilt about not protecting his family.

Perhaps, she just hadn’t known—or maybe even Ash himself hadn’t realized—

that he had been crying every night since regaining consciousness.

Like her reflection in the water, Silvia was reminded of her own past nights when she saw Ash.

Those nights when she would wake up drenched in sweat, as if escaping from a nightmare.

“…And I’m lonely too.”

In truth, the reason she couldn’t sleep last night wasn’t simply because she was thinking about Ash.

The shocking truth that Ash had shared with her.

She couldn’t fall asleep because she was so shocked by the truth that the world was still in chaos even though the Demon Lord had been defeated.

Her efforts and sacrifices. And the sacrifices of her many companions, those reliable comrades who could entrust their backs to each other.

The truth that the sacrifices of the nations and various nobles who had supported them had not only been in vain, but the enormous losses incurred were now eating away at the kingdom moment by moment.

The fact that the misfortune that befell Ash was also a result of being caught up in that political situation.

All of this brought forth a guilt too great for her to bear alone.

I did my best, I made many sacrifices too.

Silvia was too responsible a person to defend herself in such a way.

That’s why she was a hero.

“…And I’m scared.”

Perhaps thanks to having suffered from nightmares for so long,

she had developed a sense for whether she would have a nightmare before going to bed.

There was some variation depending on her condition and mood that day, but she could instinctively feel when “Ah, I’m definitely going to suffer from a nightmare tonight.”

And yesterday was clearly a day when she would have had a nightmare if she had fallen asleep.

Moreover, she was certain it would have been the most terrible nightmare she had ever experienced.

Silvia forcibly closed her jaw to suppress an involuntary yawn.

It was natural since she had stayed up all night.

To be honest, she was still very tired and sleepy.

If she went to bed tonight, she would surely have the nightmare she had forcibly avoided yesterday.

Could she make it through another night without succumbing to sleep?

It probably would be difficult.

Just then, a fish stirred the water’s surface with its tail.

The ripples disturbed her reflection in the water.

*

Silvia returned with six fish pierced by arrows.

As always, the fish she caught had arrows through them.

Her fishing gear consisted of a bow and arrows rather than a fishing rod and hook.

I gutted them, removed the backbones and small bones, and then grilled them on the hearth until they were nicely browned.

I still missed having salt, but sprinkling them with the sour juice from forest fruits helped eliminate much of the fishy smell.

I also made sure to roast herbs and various vegetables until crisp, then crumble them over the top.

Before serving, I tried to arrange them as elegantly as possible on the plate.

After moving the finished dish around on the plate several times until I was satisfied with the presentation, I carefully transferred it to the table.

On the table were the thoughtfully plated dishes and softly glowing candles.

It was romantic enough for a dinner in the middle of a deserted forest.

However, the atmosphere felt somewhat awkward.

The incident from earlier today was still swirling in both our minds.

“Enjoy your meal.”

“…Hey, Ash.”

“Um… yes?”

“…Never mind.”

Silvia silently tore off a piece of fish with her fork and put it in her mouth.

Then, unconsciously, she smiled happily with her eyes.

“Heh, there’s no fishy smell at all.”

“I’ve heard some people actually enjoy the fishy smell of fish. Are you sensitive to smells?”

“…”

“Ah, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“…”

“…Really, I didn’t.”

Silvia took another bite with a pouty expression.

I tried to break the awkwardness by making conversation.

“Is it good?”

“…It is good.”

Silvia answered curtly.

I nodded.

“It’s always rewarding as a cook when you eat with such enjoyment.”

“…Is that so?”

Silvia smiled comfortably, her mood seemingly improved.

She spoke while picking at the fish.

“…So,”

“We’re still not sleeping together.”

“…The way you say it, people would think I was trying to pounce on you… Is this about what happened earlier today?”

“And before that, with the blanket…”

“…That was. I clearly,”

“Ah… I get it.”

Silvia slightly furrowed her brow, put down her fork, and picked up the fish from her plate to tear into it.

After finishing her meal in the blink of an eye, she left only the words “Thanks for the meal” before retreating to her room.

I stared blankly at the door through which she had disappeared so hastily.

“…What’s with being so forward during the day, then hiding in your room at night?”

I recalled how adults used to complain that a woman’s heart is hard to understand.

So the hero is a woman after all.

I couldn’t keep up with her thoughts at all.

*

The night was deepening, but sleep wouldn’t come.

To be honest, I had taken a nap after Silvia went hunting in the afternoon.

I had flopped down on the bed to calm my startled nerves and ended up falling asleep.

Perhaps because of the nap, no matter how much I tossed and turned, not only did sleep not come, but I felt my mind becoming even clearer and more alert.

“This is bad, what am I going to do tomorrow?”

I was the type of person who found it very difficult to get back on track once my routine was disrupted.

Even though our days were leisurely, if my days and nights got reversed, it would clearly be troublesome for a while.

I would feel too ashamed if my life became so disorganized that I couldn’t even manage the simple task of preparing dinner for Silvia. What should I do?

The more anxious I became, the further sleep seemed to flee.

I deliberately closed my eyes and even placed my arm over them, forcing myself into perfect darkness.

If I stay like this, sleep will come eventually.

That’s what I thought as I waited for sleep to come, when

an unexpected variable occurred.

With my vision completely blocked, my alert mind focused on my hearing, beginning to absorb all the surrounding sounds.

My hearing became so sensitive that I could catch even the smallest sounds, and I started to hear noises that were louder than expected.

“Insects chirping…”

From crickets to owls, the sounds of all kinds of creatures could be heard.

I could even faintly hear the howling of wolves in the distance.

Honestly, these were soothing sounds of nature, but to me, trying to sleep right now, they felt extremely noisy.

Cities bustling with people were much noisier during the day, but this deep forest, devoid of human presence, was much more clamorous at night than during the day.

Chirp-chirp, hoot-hoot, haa-haa…

Huh?

Haa-haa?

Suddenly hearing moaning sounds, I opened my eyes wide and sat up.

All my attention focused on the heated breathing of a woman mixed in with the cries of forest creatures.

It was very faint, but coming from much closer.

“…Silvia?”

The moaning sounds were coming from Silvia’s room.

.