Ch.16Chapter 16: I Really Liked That You Forgave Me

I felt my mind going blank as I witnessed the inexplicable scene.

The first reason was the warmth and gentle touch I felt from Shizu’s hand as she carefully caressed my head.

The second reason was how enchantingly beautiful Shizu looked as she shed tears under the bright moonlight.

She was beautiful when smiling brightly, but her crying face had a different kind of beauty that made me swallow hard repeatedly.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the time to be entranced by her beauty.

Though she was beautiful, unlike in the previous timeline, I had no intention of letting her cry because of me.

Seeing this scene so identical to that time, despite the different circumstances leading to her tears.

Memories from the past suddenly surfaced in my mind.

One was from my childhood.

Though it’s impossible to imagine from her current appearance as a hero shouldering the duty to protect humanity, Shizu was a crybaby and timid girl when she was young.

It was a memory of how, when we played together as children, she would burst into tears because of my mischievous pranks, and I would panic, coaxing and comforting her until she finally stopped crying—a nostalgic memory when recalled.

The other was a painful memory from a timeline that now only I remember.

When I unleashed my inferiority complex—a mix of self-consciousness and resignation—on you, and then left while you were sobbing uncontrollably.

It was a memory I sometimes had nightmares about and never wanted to recall again.

Naturally, these two memories overlapped with the current scene in my mind.

Seeing you crying so sorrowfully while looking at me made my mouth go dry with thirst, making my promise to live for you after facing death twice and reversing time seem meaningless.

The pain like something sharp piercing my heart also brought me anguish.

What should I do?

How can I make you stop crying?

Just as I was about to feel disgust at myself for helplessly watching you cry in this critical moment.

“Hic. Hiik. Hiccup.”

I realized that Shizu’s crying sounds hadn’t changed at all from childhood, even after all these years.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

Even though I was the one who had done wrong, she was apologizing to me, similar to how she used to apologize for crying after being startled by my pranks when we were young.

Wait…?

Not different from childhood…?

….

An idea occurred to me.

If I did it right, I might have a way to comfort Shizu who was now crying profusely.

Of course, there was a good chance it wouldn’t work.

But I had no intention of leaving Shizu as she was without even trying.

‘Let’s do this.’

I immediately prepared to take action.

First, I carefully removed Shizu’s hand that was still gently stroking my head despite her sobbing.

“Ah…!”

A small, brief exclamation escaped Shizu’s lips when she saw her hand being removed while she was still crying.

The mournful expression she maintained while continuing to shed tears.

I almost lost my composure due to the inherent desolation, but.

I quickly composed my expression, got up from where I was sitting on the bed, and carefully approached Shizu who was still sobbing.

“…?”

Even while sobbing, Shizu watched me approach her with a puzzled expression.

“Are you okay?”

I first asked about her well-being.

Then gave her a faint but genuine smile.

Though slight, it had an effect.

Shizu’s body, which had been trembling finely from sobbing, was gradually stabilizing.

That gave me some relief, but since her sobbing hadn’t completely stopped yet.

I closed the distance between us further to use what I knew to be the most effective method to comfort a crying Shizu.

‘I hope this works.’

I wasn’t confident since it was something I hadn’t done much since childhood, but my body had already reached Shizu’s side.

Unlike when we were close while lying down, now I was about a head taller than her, so her head was level with my shoulder.

“Cal…?”

Since Shizu’s voice calling my name blankly still overflowed with tears as she quietly watched me approach.

“Don’t cry…”

My hand carefully moved toward her golden-shining hair to comfort the crying Shizu.

“Huh…?”

Pausing her tears for a moment.

Shizu looked at my hand approaching her head with a blank expression and stopped crying.

Since there was no sign of her avoiding my touch, I placed my hand on the crown of her head with relief.

“You’re still a crybaby. Who would believe that the person before me has the qualities of a great hero who supported humanity?”

I gently teased her with as much kindness as possible while carefully stroking her head.

“Huh? Umm…”

Though Shizu’s expression showed confusion at my touch, it was only momentary.

“How is it that this hasn’t changed at all since you were little?”

As I continued to tease her while stroking her head, Shizu seemed to adapt to my touch and moved closer so I could stroke her head better.

‘…It’s the same.’

This was something I naturally did when I was young, trying to comfort her whenever she would cry loudly after being startled by my pranks.

Though it seemed quite simple, it was an action that had required a lot of trial and error when I was young.

At first, I would just urgently tell her not to cry, and when that didn’t work, it would end with me crying along with her… yes, a miserable failure.

As time passed, I noticed her response gradually improved when I comforted her with a gentle tone, and though it took time, I learned this primitive method of comforting her.

A little more time after that, I discovered that gentle physical contact like softly stroking her head would quickly stop her crying, which became the method I now used frequently.

‘I should have never made her cry in the first place.’

Though I was relieved that my actions stopped Shizu’s crying, I almost let out a bitter smile as I realized I had once again broken the promise I made toward the end of my childhood—to never make her cry again.

*Breathe* *Breathe*

But I could at least feel satisfied that I had stopped her crying, as I heard comfortable breathing sounds instead of crying from Shizu who had buried her face in my chest.

‘If I make you cry again, I’m truly a beast. A beast.’

Though I wasn’t sure if I could keep it, I made a firm promise in my heart that would guide my future actions, then stopped stroking Shizu’s head.

“…Are you okay?”

I asked Shizu how she felt in a voice filled with gentleness.

“Y-yes. Thank you.”

Shizu, now in a much better mood, expressed her gratitude to me.

*Thump* *Thump*

My heart beat violently again at those words, so I distanced her face from my chest slightly before she could notice.

“Ah…”

Despite the slight disappointment in Shizu’s voice, and even though I felt the same disappointment, I wasn’t shameless enough to express it.

“I’m glad you’ve calmed down.”

I could only express delight that she had found stability with a brief comment.

But separate from calming her emotions after crying, Shizu still hadn’t resolved her inexplicable feeling of guilt toward me.

“…I’m really sorry for startling you.”

This time, she apologized using the excuse that she had startled me.

But since anyone could see she had done nothing wrong.

“You don’t need to apologize because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

I calmly refused to accept her apology.

Our conversation continued in a gentle but repetitive pattern—Shizu trying to apologize and me insisting she had nothing to apologize for.

But I didn’t have the courage to let such a conversation continue indefinitely.

“But…”

“I’m the one who did wrong.”

“…”

“I was only a fiancé in name, showing nothing but inferiority and speaking only harsh words to my fiancée every day. I’m the one most at fault. I’m sorry, Shizu.”

I apologized to Shizu with even deeper sincerity than when I first apologized.

With this, Shizu should realize why I’m apologizing and accept it, right?

No. It’s okay even if she doesn’t accept it.

You have every right to be disappointed in me.

As I waited silently for Shizu’s response.

“No!”

Shizu seemed to find my words unfair and rejected my apology with a voice so loud it surprised even herself.

“…Shizu?”

As I called her name in confusion.

“It’s because of me… That you became like that… It is my fault.”

Shizu still insisted that she had a part in my breakdown and apologized to me again.

“…”

I could only silently look at her as she blamed herself for such a trivial thing and suffered because of it.

Taking my silence as a kind of affirmation, Shizu began to explain why she felt sorry for me in a voice filled with pathos.

“I… I’ve always regretted it.”

“…Regretted?”

As soon as I heard the word “regret,” my body involuntarily shrank.

-I once had warm feelings when I looked at you.

I had the illusion of hearing that ice-cold voice from you, who had grown into a splendid hero in a future I could no longer see.

Not noticing my stiffened expression, Shizu continued to explain what she regretted.

“Awakening the qualities of a great hero.”

Fortunately, Shizu’s identical voice spoke of a different regret than what she had expressed before my second death, which made me feel relieved, but only momentarily.

“…Huh?”

Upon hearing the content of her regret, which I couldn’t even dare to guess, not only my expression but my entire body froze.

“…May I ask why you thought that?”

So I instinctively asked Shizu for her reason.

“I… I always wanted to be by Cal’s side, but the stronger I became, the harder it was to bear seeing Cal drift away from me.”

Shizu’s explanation was concise but filled with deep pathos.

“Shizu…”

“I know it’s childish and nonsensical… but it’s been so hard for me.”

“I’m sorry…”

The moment I heard her reason, nothing but an apology could come from my lips.

Shizu gave a sorrowful smile at my apology, then gently shook her head and continued speaking.

“Even though I felt a sense of achievement from growing stronger after awakening my abilities and putting in effort, I wasn’t happy at all when the way people looked at me changed, because Cal, who had always encouraged me, was gradually moving away from my sight. I… I only needed Cal.”

After finishing her words, Shizu tightly closed her eyes and hung her head.

Seeing her mimic what I had done earlier, I calmed my heart that was about to break and chose the best method I could in this situation.

I completely closed the already minimal distance between Shizu and myself.

Carefully extending my hand to lift Shizu’s head again.

And to prevent her from tearing up again as she opened her eyes that had been tightly shut.

I raised both arms and embraced her tightly.

Then pulled Shizu very close to my chest.

*Thump* *Thump*

So she could hear the heartbeat in my chest very clearly.

“Ca…Cal?”

Though Shizu’s voice expressed surprise at the incomparable closeness compared to when she had briefly buried her face in my chest earlier.

*Thump* *Thump*

After hearing my heart beating much stronger than usual, Shizu silently entrusted her face to my embrace.

As a bonus, I could feel the warmth from Shizu’s face gradually being transmitted clearly through my chest.

The mood was set.

Now it was time to speak.

Beyond simply expressing regret.

“I promise… From this day forward, I won’t distance myself from your side without permission, and I’ll ensure tears never fall from your face again.”

A small promise that I would never do anything to make her sorry again.

*Thump* *Thump*

My heart was still beating powerfully, filled with tenderness and warmth.

“Y-yes.”

Shizu, who accepted my promise, then extended her arms to embrace me as well.

The moonlight, which had been chillingly cold, now pleasantly cooled my heart that was about to become infinitely heated. The time was now 11 PM.

It was truly time to end the day.

And simultaneously, among the many moments of this first day after reversing time.

It was one of the things I could self-evaluate as having done best, even in the future.