Ch.168Chapter 168. The Train Runs Even When Dogs Bark (3)

The train keeps running even when dogs bark.

No matter what happened yesterday, the sun rises and sets.

That unchanging day began again without fail.

“Ugh……”

My eyes wouldn’t open easily.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the wallpaper in Cuss’s room.

It seemed I had fallen asleep in Cuss’s room last night.

The bed was small, making it too cramped.

When I curled up slightly, I felt something moving against my chest along with soft breathing sounds.

“Mmm…… Mmm……”

“……”

I held it and stroked its head for a while.

I kept stroking that beautiful hair endlessly.

When sunlight began to reach the walls, I thought it was about time to get up and raised my body.

“Ugh…… Jinsoo?”

“Yeah. You’re awake. You could sleep more if you want.”

“No. I want to get up.”

Cuss smiled cutely, pushed herself up from the bed, and clung to my back.

“Jinsoo. Did you have a scary dream?”

“Why suddenly?”

“You seem to have cried all night, Jinsoo.”

“……”

It was true.

Tears had dried and hardened around my eyes and cheeks.

Cuss looked at me with worried eyes, caressed my cheek, and then suddenly licked it with her tongue.

“Hehe. Salty.”

“Why would you lick that?”

“Mmm……”

Then Cuss pressed her lips against mine.

Those small lips brushed against mine, giving a soft feeling.

And for some reason, it hurt a little.

“Mmm……”

“Hey.”

Just as her tongue was about to push in, I hurriedly grabbed Cuss’s shoulders and pushed her away.

Cuss looked perplexed, not understanding why.

“This can’t happen anymore……”

“Why not? Didn’t we do this all the time before?”

“It just can’t…… It’s physically difficult. My heart hurts too much. If we cross this line, I won’t be able to handle it.”

“Mmm…… I understand. I don’t want Jinsoo to break.”

“……”

I had hoped she would get angry and ask why I was suddenly rejecting her.

Her quiet acceptance made me feel uneasy, as if she already understood everything.

I gave Cuss a kiss on the forehead and got up from the creaky bed.

I should bathe Cuss, prepare breakfast, feed her, dress her, and send her to school.

Today will be another ordinary day, just like any other.

“Honey. Did you sleep well? Oh, Cuss is awake too?”

“I slept soundly. Cuss, you should say good morning to mom.”

“Ah, good morning?”

“Hehehe. That’s right.”

Cuss said what I told her to say, though she looked confused.

It must be sudden since I hadn’t asked her to do this before.

But from now on, she had to.

Because Cuss is truly my daughter.

Because Juliane is her real mother and I’m her real father.

Because we’re a real family……

“Go wash up. I’ll make breakfast.”

“Okay!”

After sending the unusually energetic Cuss to the bathroom, I went to the kitchen.

What should I make for breakfast?

Maybe something simple like sandwiches.

The Korean-style toast I made last time wasn’t well-received.

Fortunately, we have cheese and ham at home.

There are also plenty of vegetables left, so I can just throw them all together.

“Honey.”

“Juliane?”

Just then, two heavy weights pressed against my back.

Juliane was hugging me from behind.

“I don’t want to ask this…… But I feel like I should. Are you okay?”

“What do you mean? Only good things have happened. It’s like my daughter I thought was dead has come back to me. Now I can raise Cuss as my real daughter, not just a daughter in my heart, so it’s actually better.”

“That’s not what I mean. Jinsoo, you’re not blaming yourself, are you? If you think this is all your fault, please stop. I spoke wrongly yesterday. It’s not because you were weak……”

“But it is. You hit the nail on the head, and now you’re trying to manage my stress?”

“……”

I turned around to face Juliane.

Juliane, with that adorable small mole under her left eye.

I gently caressed her cheek.

It was soft.

“I’m fine. My mental health isn’t breaking down. I’m not going crazy. Like you said, I’ll take responsibility until the end. She’s my daughter, the daughter I lost. I’ve found her again, and I can’t abandon her just because what’s inside has changed. Besides, Cuss is someone I brought to Earth. I need to take care of her.”

“You don’t have to bear it alone. I’m also…… We’re in this together.”

“That’s right.”

Who can I blame now?

My mistakes have all come back to haunt me.

Blaming the gods of fate would be the ugliest thing I could do.

At first, even though we fought and I said I was raising her like a pet, I unknowingly became attached to Cuss.

I even promised myself I would raise her like my real daughter.

Now that the true owner of that body has been revealed, I couldn’t abandon her.

Before ethics and morality, that was something I couldn’t do as a father.

“Could you set the plates? I’ll make the sandwiches.”

“Oh, right. Yes. We need to eat…… breakfast.”

Juliane gave an awkward smile, moved away, and went to the cupboard.

After breakfast, we’ll send her to school and go to work.

Just because my mind is a bit troubled doesn’t mean I can skip work.

“Sandwich……”

“You’re dripping water, kid. You should dry yourself properly before coming out.”

Hearing the clattering from the kitchen, Cuss rushed out of the bathroom, forgetting to turn off the light.

After placing the finished sandwiches on the table, I wiped up the water trail Cuss had left behind.

Two slices of bread. Two slices of ham. One fried egg. Plenty of vegetables whose names I’ve forgotten. One slice of cheese. And a little ketchup.

The culmination of my effort began to disappear bit by bit into Cuss’s mouth.

A question suddenly occurred to me.

Of those nutrients, what percentage goes to the body and what percentage goes to the main body in the head?

What if no nutrients go to the body at all and she’s eating everything herself?

Is that why her growth is slow?

What if my daughter can’t eat any of the food I work hard to make?

“Jinsoo.”

“Ah.”

Just as my mind was drifting, Juliane firmly gripped my shoulder.

Coming back to my senses, I smiled and looked at Juliane.

“Eat. Eat your food.”

“I’m fine. I got full from eating the leftover ingredients.”

“Jinsoo, that’s not enough to fill you up……”

“Somehow I don’t have much appetite today.”

“……”

Rather than lacking appetite, it felt more like indigestion.

Like something was stuck in the middle.

If I forced more food in, I felt like I might throw up.

After bringing Juliane the second sandwich, I headed to the bathroom.

Since my condition was so terrible today, I decided to wash my face with cold water again.

“Pull yourself together, Kim Jinsoo.”

Starting the day like this usually leads to messing up at work.

Or having an accident on the road before even reaching the office.

I decided to focus more.

“Ah! Jinsoo! I think I need to leave early today! It’s an urgent matter!”

“Then hurry and get ready. I’ll help Cuss get ready.”

“Thank you!”

Juliane, who had been looking at her screen, suddenly stood up and went into the room.

Usually, she would spread out cosmetics all over her vanity, but today she did a very brief makeup routine and finished in just 20 minutes.

Judging by the rummaging sounds from the closet, it was clearly an urgent matter.

“Juliane says she’s busy. Come here. I’ll tie your hair.”

“Ugh…… I don’t like when Jinsoo ties my hair.”

“I learned by watching.”

I’ve often watched Juliane do it.

Plus, I’ve thoroughly studied videos online about “100 Ways to Tie Your Daughter’s Hair.”

I was somewhat confident.

“Which one do you want to use? This one?”

“I used the pink one yesterday.”

“Then this one?”

“I don’t want bright colors today.”

“Then this one.”

“Yes. That’s good.”

A black scrunchie.

Since it was Cuss’s favorite, looking closely, you could see some worn parts.

Fortunately, being black, it wasn’t noticeable.

Following what I learned from the video, I put the scrunchie around my wrist and started gathering Cuss’s hair.

The key was to gather every strand of hair meticulously and pull it tight.

Almost to the point where it might hurt a little.

To the point where it might hurt……

“Aaah! It hurts, Jinsoo!”

“……”

“Jinsoo! Jinsoo! It hurts!”

“Ah, oh. Sorry.”

Suddenly realizing I was using too much force, I let go.

Cuss had already turned around and was glaring at me fiercely.

As soon as I saw her face, I recognized the emotion I had just felt.

‘Shit……’

It was elation.

Hearing Cuss’s scream, I had felt sadism and elation.

I was relishing the feeling of getting revenge on the monster that had taken my daughter.

It was so pathetic, creepy, and frightening……

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Daddy’s sorry……”

“Jinsoo……”

I hugged Cuss tightly and swallowed my tears.

I said I would treat her as my daughter.

I said I would think of this as an opportunity given by God, not as the monster that took my daughter.

But why am I acting like this……

“Jinsoo, you’re acting strange today.”

“Yeah…… I’m not feeling well today.”

“Do you want to touch my chest?”

“No. I think I won’t want to touch it anymore from now on.”

“I saw on TV that wanting to touch breasts is a desire for maternal care. It seems Jinsoo has finally grown up.”

“I guess so……”

What sin does this innocent being have?

What wrong has she done other than occupying a body that happened to be there?

I shouldn’t hate her.

It’s all my fault.

Yet, the strange sadism and hatred that boiled up inside me whenever I looked at Cuss didn’t seem like they would ever disappear.

But just as much, no, even more than that, this child was cute and lovable……

“Phew. It hurts, Jinsoo. I’m getting crushed.”

“You won’t get crushed. So let me hold you a little longer, my daughter.”

“Mmm……”

I couldn’t bring myself to hate this being.

I couldn’t help but love this being, stained with a messy mix of affection and hatred.

“You really…… You should be grateful. To the owner of this body.”

“Grateful? I don’t know about that, but I do feel sorry. It’s as if I killed her.”

“No. Don’t be sorry, be thankful. That’s better.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes……”

Did that clone have a sense of self?

Well, it’s impossible to know now.

But could a cloned human who had been subjected to human experimentation for all 13 years of her life have lived a normal life in society?

Perhaps it’s better for her that Cuss took over her body and is living a better life.

Such a filthy and cowardly thought crossed my mind.