Ch.167Outside. After the Harem Dissolution (3)

I just wanted to live a little more abundantly.

This was what the former Saintess Claire often muttered after finishing her daily routine.

Sometimes she would say it aloud rather than under her breath.

“If I had known he was that kind of person, I wouldn’t have followed him,” she would lament, or sometimes she would shiver with longing as she recalled the names of the nuns she had been close with since her orphanage days.

Sienna, Miriam, Serina—she missed them all so much. She also missed the Hero’s party members whom she hadn’t seen since Gwon Heejin was burned at the stake.

These soliloquies never got her labeled as insane.

That was because no one would listen to whatever Claire was saying anyway. At least, not a single person among the clergy.

– If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to participate in rosary prayers or scripture readings. Just rest in your room.

– Claire, I’m really curious about something. Among the holy knights who were sacrificed because of you all, there was Sir Oscar, right? He was like a brother to me for over 10 years at the orphanage. Could you possibly tell me how he died?

– Have you ever thought about recovering the bodies of the holy knights? Every time I imagine their corpses abandoned in the border forest, being torn apart by demonic beasts or animals, I feel like I’m going insane.

This was about all Claire ever heard from others.

She ate alone and had her own quarters. She wasn’t exactly being bullied, but she had to work in complete isolation.

In a way, she had been assigned a more comfortable routine than others, but that was hardly any consolation.

With no one to talk to, enduring loneliness day after day, the only things that increased were her soliloquies and daydreams.

The only opportunity she had to prove her existence was treating patients who came to the church. The problem was that even her holy power was inadequate.

How nice it would be if she had just one person to interact with. If she could have just one meal while conversing pleasantly, she would have no other wishes.

It wouldn’t matter if the food on that table was terrible. She was confident she could live her whole life eating only rye bread and asparagus if she had a dining companion.

‘Sigh. At least it was bearable a few months ago.’

Lately, she had been feeling particularly difficult.

Claire knew the reason better than anyone.

It was because of the school. A subsidiary school had recently been established at the church where she worked, which oversaw a territory of 20,000 people.

A subsidiary school that would teach commoners for free and even provide lunch.

They planned to teach children with textbooks distributed by the Archduchy, and the clergy would double as teachers. There was also a dedicated instructor for swordsmanship.

Even now, the church was busy preparing to receive students.

That school was a small ray of hope for Claire. She believed that teaching children would help alleviate her loneliness.

But that hope had already been dashed. She had been deprived of the opportunity to work as a teacher.

This was because the person appointed as the swordsmanship instructor happened to be a retired holy knight.

He didn’t show any particular hostility toward Claire, but instead firmly expressed his unwillingness to “work with her.”

The school, which she thought was a source of hope, had only narrowed her position further.

The prospect of awkwardly standing around in a church bustling with children and adults seeking education already made her feel overwhelmed.

She knew she had done wrong,

She knew that her greed for money had brought disaster,

But still, this extreme isolation was too hard to bear.

‘Rather than this, I’d rather…’

The extreme thoughts that crossed her mind several times a day. But each time, she only felt drained. After all, Claire herself knew best that she would never act on them.

Right. What’s the use of thinking about it?

Claire spent the quiet time lying on her bed.

She could hear murmuring outside her bedroom, but she had no desire to look out. After all, if she poked her nose around, she would only receive glares. It would be better for everyone if she stayed cooped up in her room so they could get along harmoniously among themselves.

She wished time would pass quickly. After about 10 years, even the loneliness she felt now would have faded away.

Claire tried to fall asleep with this small wish in mind.

Or rather, she tried to but failed.

“Sister. You have a visitor.”

It was the voice of a priest who usually only exchanged cursory eye greetings with her.

Claire lay there blankly without answering.

How could there be a visitor for her, a traitor who had almost pushed the Papal State into the abyss of downfall, someone who had once been hated even more than Gwon Heejin? Unless they had come to slap her face or spit on her.

But she hadn’t misheard. The priest urged Claire, even using the term “sister.” Someone really had come to see her.

‘Whoever it is, it’s better than just lying here blankly.’

Claire slowly got up.

She didn’t bother to tidy her appearance for the visitor. After all, she had no one to impress.

Shortly after, Claire regretted this decision.

“Pleased to meet you.”

The visitor who appeared happened to be the Saintess.

Gang Hannah, no, Hannah Wellesley. Though they were meeting for the first time, Claire recognized her immediately. She had a unique appearance not seen elsewhere on the continent. On top of that, her immense holy power. There was abundant evidence that she was a special being touched by the Goddess.

The key question was why she had come.

Claire, who had lost her position as Saintess and fallen to the rank of an ordinary nun, versus this otherworlder who had not only gained the position of Saintess but also become the Archduchess.

Though Hannah’s attire was modest, that didn’t diminish the gap between them.

‘Is there any greater humiliation in the world?’

Claire managed to maintain her composure despite feeling an indescribable emotion rising up to her chin.

If it had been her past self, she would have tried to make a good impression on Hannah Wellesley to gain some benefit, but now she didn’t even have the motivation to do so. Even an otherworlder would know that supporting her would only bring trouble.

Let’s just hear what she has to say.

That was truly all there was to it.

***

Her condition seemed worse than expected.

Hannah sighed as she stared at Sister Claire for a while.

A nun with dry, chestnut-brown hair and a haggard face. Though they surely weren’t starving her, she was terribly thin. Unlike the reputation Hannah had encountered in the Papal State right after being summoned, she didn’t look like a villainess. At least not on the surface.

Naturally, Hannah hadn’t visited to torment Claire.

To begin with, Hannah wasn’t in a position to have that kind of leisure. She was already extremely busy fulfilling her husband’s requests and her duties as Saintess.

In fact, even today she had come to place a special order with the dwarf craftsmen and was just making a brief stop. She needed the skills of the dwarves, who could precisely work with all kinds of metals without even using coke, to attempt what her husband wanted.

However, she wasn’t just visiting out of boredom; she did have important business.

Claire was also undeniably a member of the previous Hero’s party. Unlike Millia and Yuni, she was still affiliated with the Papal State, so the Empire couldn’t simply reassign her as they pleased. Of course, considering the extent of power Hannah’s husband now wielded, nothing would be impossible.

‘Still, it’s better if I handle this myself.’

It was Hannah herself who had conveyed Silvina’s request to Erick to show leniency to the Hero’s party members. It was right for the person who started it to finish it.

That conclusion was the disposition regarding Claire.

“…Actually, I recently discussed you with His Holiness. I asked if he would be willing to show you clemency.”

“Me…?”

“But His Holiness looked at me with puzzlement. He said the former Saintess has never been punished. He said you were merely serving as a nun, living like most clergy do.”

“……”

“Silvina earnestly requested leniency for all of you, but in your case, the concept of clemency is difficult to establish.”

“Silvina… for me?”

Claire blinked in surprise, then hurriedly lowered her eyes.

Even so, she didn’t refute the statement that clemency was impossible.

Originally, the life of an ordinary clergy member was generally frugal. There were ordinary priests who spent their entire lives in small churches, and even monks who produced necessary items for the church without ever being ordained.

Claire, though it was extremely unusual, truly had never been punished. Therefore, she couldn’t be an object of clemency either.

“However, while you may not be eligible for clemency, you could be subject to a normal reassignment.”

“What…?”

“You could live as a nun in a region where no one condemns your past actions, or rather, where almost no one would even recognize you. Teaching children, treating the injured, caring for orphaned children.”

At these words, Claire’s dull pupils trembled slightly from side to side.

She even started nodding before hearing the details, then blushed with an “Ah.”

Hannah thought that it probably wasn’t difficult for Gwon Heejin to seduce her when he was alive.

No, there probably wasn’t even a need for seduction. After all, a Saintess is inevitably somewhat subordinate to the Hero. The moment that corrupt Hero was summoned, Claire’s fate was essentially sealed as well.

How many lives were ruined because of that one person? Hannah felt anew the harmful impact of Gwon Heejin as she looked straight at Claire.

“Orders will come down soon. And before long, you’ll be able to meet familiar friends. Millia and Yuni. …I hope this information helps.”

“Huh…?”

Hannah delivered this concise notification and then stood up.

She felt it would be right to give Claire some time alone.

As soon as Hannah stepped out the door, the sound of soft sobbing began. Hannah was momentarily overcome by an indescribable feeling before quietly taking her leave.