Ch.165Episode 9 – Old Fashioned

# The Common Ground Between Politicians and Intelligence Officers

The common ground between politicians and intelligence officers is that neither can take vacations abroad.

Unless you’re in European politics, tightly bound by the EU fence, foreign vacations are unthinkable for politicians elsewhere. Though elected by popular support, they’re the type who get embroiled in all sorts of incidents just for breathing, so even vacations must be approached with caution.

Of course, some politicians do travel abroad to broaden their horizons, so vacations vary. But even now, going abroad for vacation often invites criticism like, “Is that bastard just going there to play?” or “They’re creating social discord.” Especially during times like COVID when travel bans are widely declared, your face might be plastered all over internet news and subjected to public ridicule.

Politicians (mainly members of parliament) who are uncomfortable with the public’s twisted well-wishes travel abroad under the pretext of “official business.”

Since official business is “public duty” rather than “travel,” it at least provides insurance to explain that they weren’t just going for fun.

Intelligence officers aren’t much different.

Since even breathing attracts surveillance and wiretapping filled with love from counterintelligence agencies, intelligence officers must be careful even during vacations. From that perspective, foreign travel can be somewhat risky and adventurous.

But even when the sky falls, there’s always a way out.

Training, education, mutual exchange, exercises, business trips, visits, and so on.

Intelligence officers, learning from career politicians’ fiery determination, began taking foreign trips disguised as official business.

It’s so common that even within intelligence agencies, there’s an open joke that when people go for training to nice places like Europe or North America, the first thing they learn is golf. Of course, I can’t say much since I once went on a “business trip” to Hawaii (where the U.S. Pacific Fleet Command is located) and had a great time myself…

Anyway, intelligence officer is a profession where it’s difficult to travel abroad. The agency rarely approves it unless you’re a newlywed, and officers themselves tend to avoid it. Plus, given the nature of the job, it’s hard to return if an emergency occurs while you’re far away.

That’s why I preferred spending vacations, whether domestic or foreign, without anyone’s interference. I liked even a single day of rest away from work.

But then…

“Greetings, Military Attaché. Is the Administrative Officer inside by any chance?”

“I’m a First Secretary working at the embassy. I have an urgent matter to discuss with the two Holy Maidens…”

“Here are confidential letters and gifts from the homeland.”

“Documents requiring your signature…”

“Letters from foreign ambassadors to the Hero…”

“The items you specifically requested…”

Is this even a vacation?

## Episode 9 – Old Fashioned

Camilla, Veronica, Lucia, and Francesca were currently on vacation.

Though an unexpected terrorist incident had occurred, each country’s foreign ministry covered it up quietly to avoid conflict with Abas, and the four women’s vacation wasn’t ruined by the previous incident.

Of course, it wasn’t simply because the Order or the Magic Tower didn’t want it to escalate into a diplomatic issue, but rather because they were appeased by my tearful efforts and the Abas government’s swift follow-up measures.

Anyway, what’s good is good, and since there were no casualties, everyone agreed to make appropriate protests and then bury the matter. Above all, the Abas government repeatedly promised to pay attention to safety and security.

The Abas government suggested that the four should visit a resort owned by the Ministry of Defense. Since the southeast was actually a famous tourist destination even abroad, the group (especially Veronica) gladly accepted.

It was a good place for the four to eat and play comfortably, the government could focus on security since it was a military resort with controlled access, the Order and Magic Tower could rest assured knowing there was a fleet command with traps, marines, and special forces ready to deploy in case of emergency, and it wasn’t a bad option even for diplomats who occasionally needed to check on the two Holy Maidens and the Administrative Officer.

Except for me.

“Sigh…”

I collapsed on the sofa with a deep sigh. I was exhausted, having just entertained a First Secretary who had come from the Order’s embassy.

While the diplomat might be visiting here for the first time today, I had been entertaining countless diplomats for a long time. Just today, the Deputy Representative of the Magic Tower delegation came with a bunch of people and stuck around all morning. Yesterday at dawn, someone from the Order’s embassy had also visited.

The reason these people visit is because of instructions from their superiors to check if Veronica, Lucia, and Francesca are doing well. But they probably weren’t coming here solely for official business.

First of all, the problem is with the vacationers.

Veronica, Lucia, and Francesca are basically public officials.

While Lucia might be considered half-civilian since she hasn’t received canonization and keeps her distance from central politics, it’s different for Veronica and Francesca.

Veronica is a politician. She once served as an intelligence agent for the Imperial Guard and as the Empire’s lobbyist, coordinating interests between the Order and the Empire, and she’s spent over ten years stirring up the political scene and forming her own faction.

In other words, she’s not a gentle saint walking around slums taking care of the weak, but rather like a member of parliament fighting in the National Assembly.

On top of that, she was one of the Order’s power holders sitting in the position of a Holy Maiden, so the amount of work she had to do was mountainous, to say the least.

Francesca is a civil servant. A high-ranking official working in the secretariat connecting the Magic Tower’s Oracle and administrative departments.

Although she’s marked as a public security offender and under surveillance by the Fatalia government, the Ranieri family is one of the prestigious families with enormous influence on magical society, and the Magic Tower is a sovereign state leading that magical society.

Therefore, Francesca is not just a simple civil servant but a person of power. The secretariat is an institution that conveys the Oracle’s orders to the Magic Tower and the entire magical society, coordinating all administrative work. It’s like comparing a Blue House (Korean presidential office) official to a district office clerk—they can’t be compared on the same level. Of course, the downside is the heavy workload.

Anyway, Veronica and Francesca are important figures, and they have duties to fulfill. Especially if there are urgent matters.

So it wasn’t strange for embassy staff to come and carefully present work.

Fortunately, Francesca willingly processed documents for the Magic Tower diplomat who begged for her help.

But even in this situation, there was a problem…

Lying on the sofa, I poked the culprit of the incident.

“Holy Maiden…”

“What?”

“Please do some work…”

Veronica took up a spot on the sofa and stuck out her middle finger. She even shoved my neatly placed legs aside.

Suddenly robbed of my seat, I had to curl up in an uncomfortable position instead of my comfortable posture.

“Seriously. Is it so distasteful to ask you to work? Are you really an adult?”

“If I work, what will you do for me, Major?”

That’s your job, not mine.

I wanted to scold Veronica for her blatant work avoidance, but I gave up. I knew she would just ignore whatever I said.

I sighed, thinking of the First Secretary from the Order who had brought Veronica’s special quill pen and seal, begging her to please send a message this time.

“Why do you insist on having your quill pen and seal brought from the Order when you could just use a ballpoint pen? What kind of attitude is that?”

“It’s the attitude of someone who doesn’t want to work. I don’t know why the diplomat couldn’t understand that. I explained it clearly enough, and they should have resolved it themselves. Sheesh.”

“The civil servants are pitiful. So, why don’t you want to work?”

“Because I’m a noble! Labor is for the lower classes!”

“…”

Veronica proudly spouted nonsense that would put a 19th-century British capitalist to shame. She even puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips.

“Well… at least you’re consistent.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

“…”

“Wow, you’re really no fun. Smile a little, Major. Stop looking at me like I’m some kind of bug…”

This is all because of you.

I gave Veronica a disgusted look, but she just giggled.

It’s always like this. While I was internally crying after being played by Veronica’s pranks again today, Francesca came looking for me, asking where to send the work she had processed.

I told her I would deliver it for her and sent her back.

“Thank you always, Military Attaché.”

“It’s nothing. The delegation people are staying nearby, so if you ask them to send someone, they’ll come quickly.”

In reality, the Magic Tower diplomats weren’t waiting nearby to monitor Francesca—they were using her as an excuse to fish and play golf—but I didn’t mention it out loud. Francesca didn’t need to know.

After all, the Order’s diplomats were doing similar recreational activities.

“Please go and rest.”

“Yes. I hope you rest comfortably too, Military Attaché.”

Francesca smiled gently, gave a formal greeting according to protocol, and left the room.

Watching her leave in a comfortable indoor dress, I scolded Veronica.

“Look. It’s so much easier when you work like this. No need for anyone to get upset.”

“I keep telling you, labor is for the working class…”

“This is driving me crazy…”

Of course, Veronica let my words go in one ear and out the other.

When she picked up the quill pen she had set aside earlier, I thought she might finally sign the documents, but instead, she used the feather part to tickle me playfully.

I pushed away her evil hand and said firmly:

“Stop it.”

“Alright.”

Veronica backed off with her hands up. She kept smiling mischievously for some reason.

“So, what will you do for me if I work?”

“Just tell me what you want… Don’t waste your energy.”

“Anything?”

Veronica’s lips curved into a crescent. An evil smile.

I shuddered momentarily. I quickly tried to take back my words.

“…I’ll hear you out first.”

“Come on. That’s not going to work.”

“Holy Maiden, I’ve told you repeatedly, please stop this non—”

“Fine, fine! I won’t ask for anything weird, so just promise to grant me a favor later.”

## *

The vacation was already half over. It was clearly a month-long vacation, but when I came to my senses, only two weeks remained.

This was similar to when I used to drink with colleagues on Friday evening and wake up to find it was Monday morning. Looking at the calendar, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu and thought that at this rate, I might waste the entire vacation.

I wanted to go out right now and make the most of the remaining two weeks, but unfortunately, I had duties that prevented me from leaving. So I had to stay cooped up in the hotel, albeit reluctantly.

“Why do you look like that? Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not. Don’t worry about it and keep running.”

“No, really, you don’t look well…”

“How about we talk about this after you finish running? Why aren’t you starting when I told you to start?”

I mostly spent time training with Camilla, or more precisely, helping with her training and doing some rehabilitation training myself.

Camilla’s daily routine was packed with training.

She would run along the beach watching the rising sun,

Return to the hotel for breakfast, then go to the warehouse for shooting practice.

After lunch, she would continue shooting practice and study basic theory.

After dinner, she would take a test, and until bedtime, she would exercise or supplement areas where she was lacking.

“Don’t drop the magazine on the floor. Unless you need to do a tactical reload, metal magazines can easily be damaged by external impact.”

“Intelligence reports are typically classified into four types: telegrams, intelligence memos, briefing materials, and reports. Short ones can be just a few pages, but… basically, you might have to write anywhere from dozens to hundreds of pages in some cases.”

“When you look at a dead body, most of the blood flows toward the ground. In forensic medicine, this is called livor mortis. Intelligence officers on assassination missions need to be careful about this phenomenon. If the livor mortis on a person who supposedly committed suicide by jumping doesn’t face the ground, it will definitely be caught during autopsy. That’s why assassinations disguised as suicide jumps usually involve throwing the target while they’re still alive…”

“Fired bullets leave special traces on the cartridge and bullet. They can only be seen under a microscope, and in forensic science, they’re called striation marks or rifling marks. By analyzing these, you can determine which gun was used in an assassination from cartridges or bullets found at the scene…”

The more training Camilla received, the busier I became.

Camilla occasionally showed signs of feeling sorry for bothering someone on vacation with all these questions, but I told her not to worry since these were things I would have to teach her anyway.

In fact, I wanted to teach Camilla as much as possible, but unfortunately, she wasn’t physically ready for some things. For now, I would focus on teaching her proper shooting and building her physical strength, and I could teach her more later.

Of course, Camilla wasn’t just receiving training.

“Magic is an art. Guardian of the Precepts… no, Hero, since your abilities are shrouded in mystery, I can’t say for certain that it’s magic, but it doesn’t hurt to learn. I’ll start by teaching you elemental magic, which is most similar.”

“Yes.”

“The characteristic of elemental magic is…”

Camilla began receiving magical education from Francesca.

Although Francesca was an alchemist, she wasn’t ignorant of other types of magic, so she could at least teach Camilla the theory.

“Is this how it’s done?”

“You’re doing well. In elemental magic, maintaining the form through mental imagery is important. Don’t just think of this fire as a simple flame…”

Even to me, a layman in magic, it was clear she was teaching well. I wasn’t sure if she was a good teacher or if Camilla was a quick learner, but probably both.

Francesca taught Camilla not only magic but also various aspects of local culture, art, etiquette, history, and common knowledge.

Originally, I had planned to ask Francesca to teach only magic, as it was a field Camilla had been studying on her own. I was concerned that teaching common knowledge in addition to magic might take up too much time, but Francesca gladly accepted my proposal.

“I know it’s an unreasonable request, so thank you for accepting.”

“Not at all, Military Attaché. It’s a good thing for me too… I was getting bored practicing alone.”

Anyway, they quickly became friends, and it was a beneficial time for both. Since they both seemed satisfied, it was a good outcome.

If Francesca had been a puppet of some intelligence agency or foreign ministry, I would have had to follow and monitor her, but since she was my informant, I didn’t engage in barbaric activities like surveillance or tailing. Instead, I just planted a few bugs in the room.

I was checking if the cute bug installed behind a wall painting was working properly when I looked at my wristwatch and was startled.

“It’s already this late.”

“Are you going somewhere, Military Attaché?”

“I need to go for treatment. Because of my finger.”

“Oh dear…”

Francesca gave me a sympathetic look as she observed my stiff thumb. She tilted her sad violet eyes and gently suggested:

“I believe there might be an elixir at my family home. Would you perhaps need it…?”

“It’s not that serious. I’m fine.”

“I hope you recover soon.”

“Thank you. I’ll be going now.”

I bowed to Francesca and waved to Camilla before leaving the room.

## *

Most of the wounds I sustained in the recent terrorist incident had healed. Thanks to the tearful efforts of military doctors and chaplains, as well as Veronica’s healing, even minor injuries had been completely erased.

But not all wounds had healed. The nerves in my severed finger still hadn’t properly recovered.

Lucia advised me to receive healing at least once a day if possible, or at least once a week. Since I wasn’t on official duty but on vacation, I decided to visit Lucia every day for healing if possible.

As promised, I went to Lucia’s room at the appointed time.

“Come in.”

The first thing I noticed when opening the door was a fresh, clean scent. A clear, clean smell I had encountered a few times at the Order.

The room wasn’t much different from other hotel rooms, except that the bed furniture was slightly more luxurious.

Between the canopy spread over that bed, a blurry figure who had been bending over emerged from the side, revealing herself.

It was Lucia.

“Welcome.”

“Good to see you. But what’s with this bed?”

I pointed at the bed and asked Lucia. However, the answer came not from her but from someone else.

“Oh, that? It’s a bed that the High Priest used to use. We took it apart from the Order and moved it here temporarily.”

“A bed used by the High Priest?”

“It’s a holy relic. A holy relic deeply imbued with sacred power. We pulled it out from deep in storage.”

“I see. But why is Holy Maiden Veronica coming out from there?”

Veronica, who had been lying on the sofa opposite the bed, waved her hand and smiled brightly. I had come expecting only Lucia, so I didn’t understand why this person was here.

“I came to watch since I heard the Major was getting treatment.”

“Why? Am I some zoo animal?”

“Well, not exactly… I came to monitor in case you two were hiding and doing something inappropriate.”

Is she crazy?

Touching a Holy Maiden, of all people? That’s an act that would deserve being stoned to death in the street without even needing to go to the Inquisition.

No matter how lawless I might be, that would truly be crossing a line. Lucia seemed to apologize with an awkward smile, but I frowned and glared at Veronica.

“That’s not a funny joke.”

“Is it not? It was a joke. Actually, I came to help.”

“You, Holy Maiden?”

“Yep. So hurry up and lie down on the bed. We still have a lot to prepare.”

Veronica patted the bed as she said this. Although I didn’t fully trust Veronica, she was a skilled healer who had reattached my finger, so I decided to trust her for now.

As before, I took off my jacket and lay down in the correct posture, and Veronica sauntered over and spoke to me.

“Keep lying down. Since it’s imbued with sacred power, it might help a little with recovery.”

“Sacred power…”

I murmured vaguely and asked a question.

“You said the High Priest used it?”

“Yes, it’s a holy relic.”

Holy relic.

It refers to relics associated with God, apostles who received the gospel, or canonized saints.

It’s an object with deeply religious significance, and in a world where religious authority is high, holy relics are strictly preserved and managed through special procedures by each religion. I heard they’re kept in specially made repositories under strict security.

Why is it in a hotel owned by the Abas Ministry of Defense?

“Ugh… Why is such an object here?”

To my question, Veronica answered simply:

“It’s here because Lucia asked for it.”

“…Lucia did?”

“She’s a Holy Maiden. Even if she hasn’t been canonized, she has the authority to move holy relics.”

Veronica spoke as if to say, “It’s my thing, I brought it here, what’s the problem?” I was so shocked that I started stammering.

“No, but, a holy relic… shouldn’t it be in a vault…?”

“What’s the point of keeping something you don’t use locked up in storage? It’s not like they left it there to make money by occasionally displaying it at exhibitions. The High Priest probably wouldn’t have wanted that either.”

“Still, it’s not something that should be casually taken outside the Order…”

My brain experienced a slight buffer. Until now, I thought Veronica might be joking, but her expression was deadly serious.

“Major, let me be honest. Until just now, you thought it wasn’t really a holy relic, right?”

“Is it really…?”

“Yes.”

“Holy shit.”

Suddenly, I came to my senses. Just touching a holy relic with bare hands could cause controversy in religious circles for being irreverent. And I was lying on it.

Stars, torches, and piles of firewood flashed before my eyes like a kaleidoscope. Belatedly coming to my senses, I tried to hurriedly get up from the bed, but Veronica firmly pressed down on my chest, preventing me from rising.

“Hey now. Just stay lying down. It’ll interfere with your recovery.”

“No, but this is…!”

“It’s fine. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. If the three of us just keep quiet, it’s fine.”

“Why do I have to be involved in this…!”

“It’s too late now. You won’t go to hell for using a bed, so just lie down comfortably.”

Veronica spoke as if it were really no big deal. She even climbed onto the bed and flopped down beside me.

“Ah, so soft.”

“Crazy woman… crazy woman…”

“I’m just lying here quietly, so why are you making such a fuss? If we get caught, we just say sorry, thanks for letting us use it, thanks for lending it…”

I couldn’t tell if she was trying to reassure me or if she really thought it was no big deal. I would have asked Lucia to get Veronica off me, but unfortunately, Lucia was temporarily away.

In the end, I ended up lying on the bed with Veronica.

This was absolutely maddening.

“The user experience isn’t that great. Maybe because it’s an old bed… It’s soft, but it doesn’t feel better than a silk bed imported from the East.”

“…Do you have the luxury to worry about that right now?”

“We have to use it for two weeks, so I should check… By the way, I heard you received treatment from Lucia. How did she do it?”

Veronica waved her hand and changed the subject. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid of what Veronica might do if I scolded her here. So I decided to just go along with her.

“She just… massaged my hand a bit. While channeling sacred power.”

“Hmm. Nothing else?”

“…What else would be needed?”

“Anything at all. Can’t you think of anything?”

Suspecting this was another prank, I glanced at Veronica. However, Veronica was looking at me with an unusually serious expression.

She was smiling, but I could see that only her expression was smiling, which gave me an uneasy feeling.

“Like any medicine Lucia gave you, or any unusual reactions during treatment… Any small characteristic that might have bothered you, even if it wasn’t particularly noticeable.”

“Well…”

I don’t think there was anything like that.

…Oh.

“Come to think of it, she did say something strange.”

“What did she say?”

“She told me to tell her immediately if anything unpleasant happened during treatment. Before we started.”

“Unpleasant? Anything else?”

“No. That was it.”

She said to tell her if there were problems, or if anything unpleasant or uncomfortable happened, but when I asked what that meant, Lucia didn’t answer. I was curious but never had the chance to ask, so I remained curious. I wondered if Veronica might know something.

After I told her everything that happened with Lucia, Veronica hummed and fell into thought for a moment.

“Hmm… Unpleasant things. Unpleasant things…”

In the midst of this, something suddenly seemed to occur to Veronica, and she clapped her hands and sat up abruptly.

“Ah! Could it be that?”

“What is it? What? Tell me too.”

I had been curious but didn’t pay much attention since it didn’t seem serious, but seeing Veronica’s reaction made me more curious.

However, Veronica just snickered to herself without giving a proper answer.

“This seems like something you don’t need to know, Major. It’s something only healing priests know about. It’s a bit too… inappropriate to share with others.”

“What is it? Stop making me curious and just tell me.”

“Ah… I really shouldn’t. Hmm…”

After pondering for a moment, Veronica looked around quickly, then wriggled closer to me and began whispering in my ear.

While earnestly imploring me not to tell anyone else.

“I’m only telling you, Major. Don’t go around talking about this. This isn’t a joke—it could really cause problems.”

“…At this point, wouldn’t it be better not to know?”

“You asked me to tell you. Anyway, as I said earlier, this is a story passed down orally only among healing priests. It’s a story that’s been around for well over hundreds of years. You won’t find it in books or papers, and even if you ask any random priest, they won’t know.”

She says it’s a story passed down by word of mouth. The fact that it’s still transmitted orally even in this age when record-keeping is commonplace clearly indicates that it was deliberately kept off the records.

“You know how healing priests use their hands to heal people, right?”

“…Yes. I saw Lucia doing it when she was on medical volunteer work.”

“This has occasionally happened since ancient times. When encountering a patient with wounds severe enough to threaten their life or difficult to treat, there’s an act that requires the approval of a bishop delegated by the Pope, the consent of the patient and their family, and finally the consent of the healing priest themselves. Sometimes the procedure is simplified, but it’s such a complicated matter that it requires post-approval and supervision. It caused a lot of problems in various ways.”

“…What on earth is it that requires a bishop’s permission just to treat someone?”

“Come a little closer.”

“Okay.”

Veronica pulled my ear close and whispered in a much lower voice:

“Sleeping together with flesh touching flesh.”

“…”

“It’s not a euphemism—they really just sleep— No, Major, why are you raising your fist?”

“Let me hit you just once, Holy Maiden.”

“Why are you trying to hit me…?! I go out of my way to tell you, and this is what I get…!”

Veronica jumped off the bed and started running away, and I chased after her, trying to give her a good punch. She was better at escaping than I expected, making her hard to catch.

And about five minutes later, just as I had almost caught Veronica, Lucia discovered us as she returned with a silver basin filled with water.

In the end, I had to back down without catching or hitting Veronica.

I was very disappointed.