Ch.158Qualification (4)

Alice roughly extended her hand to separate me and Silvia.

Of course, Silvia tried to resist, but seeing Alice’s skin flushed red from inside her breastplate all the way to her chin, she reluctantly let go of me with apparent disappointment.

After all, Alice’s heart was already prone to breaking down at any moment, and it would be foolish if it burst from anger over something so ridiculous before we even fought the Demon King.

Silvia briefly clicked her tongue in disappointment before slowly continuing.

“Anyway, what I meant to say wasn’t that Silvia and Alice can die while you must live… that’s not what I meant.”

“…Then what did you mean?”

Though the question was directed at Silvia, the answer came from Alice.

She seemed to already know what Silvia was trying to say.

“Determination, resolve. Such mindsets can certainly provide effective motivation for difficult operations. They improve efficiency and boost the morale of comrades.”

“…Is there a problem with that…?”

“But… if our goal isn’t just success but survival, that’s a different story.”

Ah,

With just that, I could completely understand what they were trying to tell me.

The resolve to risk one’s life, the willingness to sacrifice oneself.

In an overwhelmingly dangerous mission like the one before us, it’s obvious that those with such mindsets would be the first to die.

After all, the one who lays their body across a broken cliff path to become a bridge for those behind will inevitably plummet to the bottom.

In fact, my thoughts aligned perfectly with this metaphor.

My resolve was that, as a weakling beside these two, the only thing I could do was to step forward and sacrifice myself if our path became blocked.

But it seemed my shallow intentions were completely transparent to both of them.

Was it a veteran’s intuition?

Perhaps in their past years, they had seen many comrades die in just such a way.

My feeble determination, bordering on desperation, born from wanting to be of even trivial help to those so much stronger than me.

Silvia and Alice had too easily noticed my anxiety.

Following Alice’s words, delivered with a serious expression, Silvia also spoke up.

“You don’t need to be prepared to risk your life.”

“But, it’s the Demon King… if someone like me is to be of any help…”

“If it means sacrificing Ash, we don’t need to kill the Demon King. I couldn’t care less if the world ends.”

At Silvia’s bold statement, Alice slightly furrowed her brow before quickly relaxing it.

She too apparently didn’t want my sacrifice at all.

Before I could object, Silvia rushed on with her words.

“I don’t want to die either. And I absolutely won’t let Ash die. I’m going to survive. I’ll survive and return alive with Ash, and then live happily with Ash until we die of old age.”

“Silvia.”

“I won’t give up even the smallest part of this plan.”

Nodding at Silvia’s declaration, Alice added:

“That’s right, being prepared to risk your life is meaningless. Aside from whether you can actually find courage when crisis approaches, there are countless variables like our positions at the moment of crisis and other strange factors.”

“…”

“The very idea of pre-selecting who should sacrifice themselves in a crisis is something only idiots with no practical experience would think of.”

An idiot with no practical experience.

I couldn’t imagine a better description of myself in this world.

“Still…”

“…Yes?”

“If we had to choose, it should be the one who’s going to die soon anyway.”

“…!”

I turned my head sharply to glare at Alice.

But she only gave a small bitter smile and continued:

“I can be that person.”

“Or I could do it too,” Silvia added.

Their casual remarks made me flare up again.

“See, I knew it! Only I—!”

“That’s not it, you idiot.”

Alice came over and smacked me on the crown of my head.

As her gauntleted fist struck my head, I yelped and crumpled to the ground.

Though it looked like a light hit, the sound was sharp, and tears immediately welled up in my eyes.

When I touched my head, I found a large bump had formed.

“Neither Silvia nor I can be killed by external factors anyway. Idiot.”

“…Oh.”

“Idiot.”

“What an idiot.”

“Ash is an idiot.”

Among the voices insulting me was Pia’s, who had appeared at some point.

Silvia crossed her arms and gave a slightly embarrassed smile.

“I was wondering when you’d realize… I’m a bit disappointed, Ash.”

“Ah, no… but Alice clearly said she would die…”

“That’s right. It’s a long story, but to put it simply, my lifespan is running out. Tick-tock, every minute, every second. I don’t know exactly when it will end, but I know for certain that moment is approaching.”

Alice pounded her chest plate with her fist.

Each time she did, hot steam hissed out from the gaps in her shoulder armor.

Though I hadn’t heard a detailed explanation, it seemed obvious that her lifespan was tied to the fierce mechanical heart turning inside her chest.

“But that’s just a matter of not knowing when this machine might burst or stop, but as long as this damn thing keeps turning even a little, I won’t die, you absolute moron.”

“…Yes.”

“Ah, really… talking about it is making me angry.”

Alice shook her head irritably, messing up her hair.

She had mentioned before.

That her mechanical heart made it difficult to control her emotions.

That the mechanical heart beats faster with anger, adding heat to her fury.

Realizing that my stupidity might cause her death, I hurriedly bowed my head.

“S-sorry, sis.”

“Haaah…”

Alice exhaled a hot sigh like a steaming train, then quietly left a single remark:

“Let’s eat dinner and get some sleep. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

*

Though it was still too early for sunrise, Alice’s eyelids were already slowly opening.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t tired.

Alice’s fatigue—having rushed here on horseback without rest after tending to Eric who was badly injured while obtaining Malice’s bracelet—wasn’t something that could be recovered with just a day or two of sleep.

Of course, it wasn’t that she couldn’t sleep due to tension about facing the Demon King, nor was her nervousness due to anxiety about when her heart might burst.

The reason Alice had opened her eyes at this dawn, or rather in the middle of the night, was because of the noise coming from outside.

“…Idiot.”

The clanking sound was rhythmically growing distant and then close again.

It seemed Ash was practicing running while wearing armor.

Alice sighed, got up, and slowly looked toward the entrance of the hut.

The noise seemed unusually loud, and she noticed the door was slightly ajar.

“What the… Ash…”

And sitting in front of the partially open door was Silvia, making strange breathing sounds.

Alice felt her sense of reason fly away at the sight of Silvia’s back as she secretly watched Ash through the crack in the door.

“Ash… so cute.”

“You crazy woman. What are you doing?”

Silvia kept her gaze firmly fixed forward, not even turning around as she answered in a small voice:

“I’m secretly cheering on my hardworking husband from behind.”

“…Ha.”

There was much she wanted to say, but she couldn’t form any of it into proper sentences.

Or more precisely, she didn’t trust herself to speak without cursing.

Alice repeatedly inhaled and exhaled through her nose for quite some time before finally managing to utter a single phrase:

“Why… fuck.”

It was still too much.

“Isn’t he magnificent?”

Silvia answered, still with her face pressed against the crack in the door.

Alice smacked her own forehead with her palm and slowly approached the doorway.

Well, just how magnificent could he be to make Silvia lose her mind like this?

She felt she had to see for herself out of curiosity.

Alice quietly positioned her face above Silvia’s head and aligned her gaze with the crack in the door.

“…”

“Well? Isn’t he magnificent?”

“…”

The sight of her cute little brother was difficult to describe as magnificent, even as a white lie.

Already exhausted, his breathing was completely unregulated as he panted like a dog, and his eyes looked dazed and unfocused.

His arms and legs were flailing not straight ahead but diagonally forward.

Though he was clearly running, it looked less like he was pushing off the ground and more like he was throwing his legs forward.

Despite this, his feet landed heavily on the ground with loud thuds due to the weight of the armor.

He looked completely drained of energy.

“What is he doing… If he keeps this up, what about his stamina for tomorrow…”

“Come on, Alice, you can restore him, can’t you?”

“Sure, I can relieve the fatigue in his legs, and he can fight sleepiness on his own, but I can’t do anything about mental fatigue. Besides, all I can do is remove pain and eliminate physical fatigue—energy ultimately comes from eating, you know that.”

“I know, it’s fine. I’ll feed him.”

“…Silvia.”

“It’s fine, I tell you. I’m the only one here who’s actually seen the Demon King anyway. So shut up.”

“…”

Alice barely managed to suppress her rising anger.

It was true that among the three people here, she was the only one who had actually seen the Demon King.

No, even if we expanded the scope to all humans worldwide, she might be the only one who had faced the Demon King and survived.

Ah, except for that bastard Balder.

Alice bit her lip hard.

“What kind of being was the Demon King? Isn’t it about time you told us?”

“I’ll tell you later. Right now I want to keep watching Ash working hard.”

“Hey. Silvia.”

Despite Alice’s angry tone, Silvia only muttered quietly:

“…You know too.”

“Know what?”

“Why Ash is doing this. Because he’s anxious.”

“…”

“Anxiety, fear, uncertainty about whether he can be helpful, worry that things might go wrong because of him—that’s why he’s running around like that. You should understand, Alice.”

“…”

At Silvia’s words, Alice slowly brought her gaze back to the crack in the door.

Though he was staggering as if about to collapse at any moment, Ash gritted his teeth and started running again.

“Isn’t that a decent way to cope? Back at the Academy, there was that kid who couldn’t handle the pressure and stabbed himself in the neck.”

“…He was in the same class as you.”

“Yes, dual-sword specialist. I don’t remember his name, but I clearly remember how he died.”

“…”

Indeed, from the time the Demon King’s presence emerged and monster activity increased, the once peaceful atmosphere of the Academy had grown increasingly heavy.

It was unavoidable, as they needed to continuously produce soldiers to fight monsters and form parties to defeat the Demon King.

The Knight Department, which handled bladed weapons, in particular demanded almost military-like discipline from its students.

At first, students who couldn’t bear the atmosphere voiced various complaints, but unfortunately, the emergence of an outstanding hero like Silvia only accelerated that heavy, oppressive atmosphere.

And in the process, there were many children who couldn’t handle the pressure or were consumed by fear before facing monsters.

“You pretended not to care back then, but it seems it did bother you.”

“Somehow… I felt like I caused it. Like the other kids were being forced to achieve the same results because I was appointed as a hero.”

“That’s not wrong.”

“Even though they were all just kids, despite being gathered talented ones…”

“You were the same age as us, you know?”

“I was… different.”

Silvia closed her mouth with a hardened expression.

Indeed, from her first appearance at the Academy, Silvia already possessed skills that were close to perfection.

Her swordsmanship, though lacking in elegance or refinement, was efficient and extremely violent.

That sight was enough to generate countless false rumors and ghost stories about Silvia’s past among the students.

But to Alice, Silvia’s past was a story best left untold, so she never pressed her about it.

Silvia also quietly changed the subject.

“Come to think of it, you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

Silvia asked again in a low voice:

“Well?”

“…?”

“Ash, isn’t he magnificent?”

Alice silently looked at Ash.

Even during her conversation with Silvia, Ash had not stopped once, though he had slowed down.

He never, ever gave up.

“Ah…”

Suddenly, explosive emotions welled up inside her.

Her heart lurched, turning its wheel and raising her body temperature wildly.

“Ugh…!”

This damn piece of junk,

This damn hunk of metal that burns emotions as fuel and amplifies those same emotions.

Her parents dead, her friends dead, even her fiancé taken from her, and the world heading toward destruction.

Perhaps it was thanks to being in a situation that provoked nothing but anger.

Alice only now realized.

Anger wasn’t the only emotion this artificial heart consumed.

Nor was anger the only emotion it amplified.

Alice pressed her lips tightly together, but her forcibly twitching lips finally trembled and slowly squeezed out crushed words:

“…He is… magnificent.”

“Touch him and I’ll kill you.”

Alice glared at Silvia.

Silvia too was staring intently at Alice, her ominous red eyes large and bright in the darkness.

The moonlight streaming through the slightly open door cut thinly across the middle of both their faces.

It was as if marking for each other where to cut.