Ch.157Chapter 157: A Long, Long Day (7)

The comfort of the chair enveloped my entire body, especially my back, making me want to close my eyes and drift off right there.

Even during the brief conversation with Fafnir where we each revealed only parts of our secrets, my exhausted body and mind were urging me to do just that.

I wanted to close my eyes and give in to their enthusiastic(?) request, but…

“…This isn’t the time.”

Just as my eyes were about to close, I remembered what I needed to do and reluctantly had to leave the chair.

I was about to sink into the gradually rising drowsiness, but I couldn’t neglect my duties just to get some sleep.

Why was I forcing my body to get up again and move my heavy feet when it was just about to find rest?

“I need to go to Shizu.”

It’s because I promised to help Shizu prepare for her departure tomorrow while we were having lunch.

Normally, she would have left Night Haven with more time to spare, but…

A situation arose where she needed to hurriedly pack her bags to accompany my sister, who had submitted a long-term leave request for matters related to family inheritance.

I needed to help her since she was planning to stop by the Ranos territory with me.

Before my regression, thanks to my experience of struggling as a mere mercenary in Night Haven…

I knew well how things worked here, so I had packed very lightly from the start.

Unlike me, Shizu was nervous about leaving her comfort zone and traveling to an unfamiliar place for the first time, so she packed so much luggage that even I thought it was excessive.

To catch the morning carriage to North Kessler Town Station, the northernmost station on the continental route they needed to take to depart for Ranos territory…

Someone needed to step up and help her pack her bags.

Especially in the current situation where everyone was busy taking care of their own affairs.

Excel had packed relatively lightly, though still more than me…

But he would certainly spend his remaining time before departure by his sister’s side.

So he wouldn’t help Shizu with her packing.

As for Dan and Rufus, who had joined us during lunch, asking them to help Shizu pack wasn’t appropriate since they weren’t particularly close to her.

…Even if they were, I would have interfered anyway.

Ahem! I keep revealing my personal feelings as I speak.

Anyway, at times like this, someone with free time like me should step up to help Shizu.

So, injecting strong motivation into my stiff body—the desire to help someone precious to me in a difficult situation—I created energy.

After getting up, I turned my gaze toward the window to check the situation outside.

Gray snow mixed with volcanic ash was falling generously, though not violently.

The sun was showing signs of setting soon.

Winter in the north has short daylight hours.

This is why even the time spent in what seemed like a brief conversation with Fafnir was enough to observe such changes with my own eyes.

“I hope I’m not late…?”

Her anxious voice saying I could come anytime and help her once I arrived kept echoing in my mind.

“Anyway, let’s go.”

I put on a fire-resistant coat to protect against the gray snow and left the lodging.

My body felt heavier than expected as I walked, but…

-Thank you!!

When I recalled Shizu’s voice brightening with gratitude when I offered to help her pack at the restaurant…

“I need to hurry.”

My footsteps, which had felt heavy just moments ago, suddenly became light.

There was no room in my mind for anything other than the thought that I needed to get to her quickly.

It’s awkward to say this myself, but…

Just remembering that I was walking toward where she was made me forget my fatigue and feel lighter.

I realized once again that no one gives me strength like Shizu does.

#

With light footsteps, it took only a moment to reach the lodging where Shizu was waiting for me.

Neither the gray snow dirtied with volcanic ash…

Nor the visibility obscured by that snow…

Could stop my footsteps.

As I continued walking, before I knew it, the entrance to her lodging came into view—the place where she had been staying during the Subjugation Festival, essentially boarding at the quarters where my sister was staying.

I didn’t need to catch my breath, so I immediately knocked carefully and then…

“Shizu, I’m here.”

I announced my arrival with these brief words, but…

There was no sound of her footsteps rushing to the door upon hearing my arrival.

No sign of her busy movement as she packed her luggage could be heard from beyond the entrance.

…What’s going on?

The silence, inappropriate for the situation, prevented me from hearing anything.

But inversely proportional to the quietness, it made my suspicion and worry grow like a rolling snowball.

Without further thought, I forcefully turned the doorknob of the lodging entrance.

I turned the handle with enough force to break it if it was locked, but…

Fortunately, it wasn’t locked, so the handle turned violently with the force I applied and flung the door open.

What my eyes saw as I urgently pushed my way through the door was…

A lodging that was cleaner than I expected, with what appeared to be Shizu’s packed bundle, and…

Her, collapsed face-down in exhaustion after packing it, looking completely drained.

“Never again… will I pack… like this…”

The scene unfolded with her voice expressing regret over her foolish decision.

Since she had told me I could come anytime, I spent time with Fafnir until it was almost sunset.

I had worried about being late while walking to her lodging…

Looking at her condition now, it seems I was indeed very late.

#

Upon seeing Shizu collapsed in a state of near exhaustion inside the lodging, my course of action was literally straightforward.

First, I laid her exhausted body on the bed to make her comfortable.

Then, I finished packing the luggage that she had almost completed.

After that, I went back to the bed where she was lying, met her eyes, and…

“I’m sorry for being late…”

I offered an appropriate apology as we talked.

Shizu, whose expression had softened after lying on the bed and recovering from some of her fatigue, heard my apology and…

“No, it’s fine. I should have taken my time. I think I rushed too much without considering my physical condition.”

She immediately waved her hands dismissively, showing signs of embarrassment at my apology.

From her voice, I could easily tell that she had regained some energy compared to earlier.

But seeing her still pale complexion, which indicated she needed adequate rest, I couldn’t help but feel sorry.

I wanted to bow my head deeply and express how sorry I was, but…

Knowing she wouldn’t like to see me like that…

“You haven’t fully recovered your strength yet, have you?”

For now, I had to slowly open the conversation and find the right timing to apologize.

“Yeah, I felt perfectly fine when I woke up this morning and left the infirmary, but once I started packing again, I got a bit dizzy and ended up showing you that strange sight.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Hearing her words, which gave me more than enough reason to apologize, I had no room to consider anything else and apologized again.

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should be more sorry…”

“How can I not be sorry when you look this tired?”

“Still… I made you come here even though you must be more tired than me… I’m sorry.”

The sight of Shizu smiling weakly as she said this made a corner of my heart ache with nostalgia.

What is she so sorry about?

Even though there were unavoidable circumstances like being held by the Time Demon…

The fact that today’s Shizu looks so tired…

The fact that she was almost “executed” when captured by Adorator while I wasn’t by her side…

These things happened essentially because of me.

Yet she doesn’t even seem to think about such things, speaking to me in a gentle voice and apologizing…

“I’m not tired. Just spending time with you like this makes all fatigue disappear.”

I want to reassure Shizu even with such unfitting bravado.

She—you—shouldn’t worry about someone like me.

#

The truth is, I’m extremely tired.

The fatigue that had been accumulating and piling up…

I thought it was recovering a bit thanks to the energy permeating my body from wearing the Red Dragon Armor.

But the moment I saw you collapsed and moaning in the lodging…

It came pouring out like water bursting from a dam, and even now I feel like my eyes might close without me realizing it.

“…Thank you.”

But when I see you smiling brightly at my unfitting bravado and saying thank you…

The fatigue that was pouring out now feels so light that it hardly matters anymore.

“I’ve been causing you trouble lately, and I’m sorry that all I can offer in return are words like these…”

The problem is that right after saying thank you, the words “I’m sorry” immediately come out of your mouth again.

But, you know what?

For me, just hearing you say thank you…

It makes my heart, which had grown cold while helplessly watching all the evil deeds committed by the malice that had consumed my body before I turned back time, come back to life.

It makes me feel alive like this.

*Thump thump*

I wonder if you can hear it.

The beating of my heart, warming up along with your warm voice directed at me…

When my body was pierced by the holy sword you wielded and I lost all strength…

As my entire body turned to ash and disappeared, I wished for your happiness until the very end.

I never thought a moment like this would come.

But now that it has become reality and I’m facing it…

I keep growing greedy.

Right after my regression…

I was happy just to have you by my side, not hating me.

But as time passed a little…

A desire began to boil within me—to do only things that would make you say thank you to me.

Because of the inferiority complex that clouds my vision…

I want to overlay those times when I only made tears flow from your eyes with these happy memories.

So now…

I gently raise my right hand and place it on the crown of your head.

Then, stroking your hair with all the gentleness I can muster…

“You have nothing to be sorry for to me.”

With words like these, I need to soothe your heart that keeps apologizing to me.

This is the sincerity I can show you right now.

As soon as my right hand rested on the crown of your head, feeling its softness, it moved endlessly to caress it.

Seeing you silently make an expression filled with happiness at my touch…

The physical and mental exhaustion I felt while visiting this freezing land for the Subjugation Festival is being washed away and healed.

I am, right now…

Truly happy.

Incomparably so.