Ch.156Victory Brings No Rest #2

We only departed after receiving reports that the Imperial Army had retreated far away.

I sometimes wonder if we’re being too suspicious, but we couldn’t disobey the King’s sigh-laden order that the Imperial Army might launch a surprise attack while pretending to withdraw.

Moreover, we were royalists, so all the more reason.

“Everyone, thank you for your hard work. This victory was achieved because all of you fought together, making sacrifices along the way.”

After safely escorting the King to the capital, Helena bowed her head before numerous soldiers and nobles.

This was her final greeting before everyone would lead their troops back to their respective territories.

However, “final” didn’t mean they would never see each other again.

“Even after returning to your territories, I know you’ll face many pending matters… I would be grateful if each noble would make efforts to comfort their people.”

“We will follow your orders, Duchess.”

When the nobles at the front bowed their heads in unison, Helena nodded with a gentle smile.

Quite a few people blushed at the sight, apparently finding it appealing.

Even with the most objective view, her appearance was eye-catching enough to warrant such reactions.

“There’s no point in speaking further. Come, let’s all return home.”

.

Losing a war naturally creates problems, but winning also brings significant issues.

Whether you win or lose, people die all the same, and handling post-war matters for the first time made my heart especially heavy.

There were severely wounded and casualties.

Sitting at the desk in the Krauser mansion’s office after a long absence, I exhaled a deep sigh while scanning through reports filled with names and numbers.

It was frightening how my mental state remained largely unshaken despite so many people having closed their eyes forever.

“You shouldn’t reduce people to mere numbers, but sometimes on the battlefield, that’s what you have to do. Don’t worry too much.”

“…Right. I should.”

Helena spoke with a smile, seemingly aware of my complicated feelings, though it looked like she was forcing herself to smile.

Perhaps my heavy heart was unconsciously steering my thoughts toward darker places.

Nevertheless, I had to address the accumulated problems, so I began tackling the mountain of paperwork bit by bit.

Although we had spent quite a bit on war preparations, our family was originally wealthy, and we were expected to receive compensation, so the budget seemed sufficient.

Day after day.

Though it’s impossible to replace precious lives with material things, I did my best to console the bereaved families.

People living on this continent were extremely grateful for even this much, which helped lighten my burden somewhat.

“You want to… have a child next year?”

One afternoon after settling the compensation issues.

I visited Ise’s room during the languid afternoon hours.

To finalize the conversation about children that he was now tilting his head and asking about.

“Yes. As you know, we had to go through war.”

“What does experiencing war have to do with having children?”

“I believe we shouldn’t create a child with bodies stained by blood and vengeance.”

Though children are born even during wartime, it weighed heavily on my mind to create a child shortly after killing so many people.

That’s why I decided to postpone our plans for having a child.

Of course, this wasn’t my decision alone but the result of thorough discussions with Helena.

“Blood and vengeance… I see. Both you and Helena… I heard you achieved quite remarkable feats.”

“Yes. The irony of war is that the more people you kill, the greater your achievements. Though we were protecting our land, many lives were ended by Helena’s and my hands.”

“Hmm… I can tell from your eyes alone that you’ve been through a lot.”

I suppose that’s unavoidable.

Ise fell silent after those words.

A heavy silence pressed down on my neck, but Ise’s voice reaching my ears alleviated that weight.

“The heir to the duchy is very important to me, and I’ve been feeling urgent due to Helena’s age. But as you said, one can’t create a child with blood-stained hands. I understand.”

“…Thank you.”

“No need for thanks. In the end, the opinions of the two people creating the child are what matter most. Anyway, I’ll convey your intentions to my wife to avoid any misunderstandings. She might worry that there’s discord between you two.”

“I don’t know if this will be comforting… but there’s no chance of discord between us.”

What would happen if we did fall out? It’s hard to imagine, but when I forced myself to picture it, I got goosebumps.

It would mean everything I had achieved would vanish like bubbles.

Though Ise wouldn’t know this, he slightly raised the corner of his mouth, seemingly reassured by the conviction in my words.

“How did it go? Did Father say anything?”

When I returned to the office, Helena, who had been working on documents alone, greeted me.

Ive was holed up in her room, determined to improve her shortcomings, and Ellen had been sent out to socialize with friends.

“Fortunately, he understood.”

I sat on the guest sofa rather than the chair beside the desk and lightly patted the empty space to my left.

Helena stared at it for a moment, then approached as if she’d been waiting and nestled into my arms.

“Shall we undress?”

Helena asked, lifting her face from my chest.

Her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes felt intense.

She seemed expectant, likely having accumulated frustrations while busy with the war and its aftermath.

Though somewhat surprised by this unexpected turn, I was also looking forward to it.

The thought crossed my mind that perhaps it was okay to indulge now, since we hadn’t had a moment to breathe until now.

It wouldn’t be the first time we’d been intimate during daylight hours.

I loosened my collar and watched Helena naturally removing her uniform top before speaking.

“But let’s take it slow and gentle. And we need to finish in time for the gate inspections. Understood?”

“…Yes!”

Afterward, I spent time with Helena, who was delighted like an immature child, rubbing against me.

As agreed, we finished on time.

“It’s so disappointing to stop in the middle…”

Helena washed her soiled body with me in the bathroom, smacking her lips regretfully as she changed clothes.

A couple of hours seemed insufficient compared to our usual nights together.

Still, she looked much happier than before, and the way she subtly caressed her lower abdomen conveyed both sensuality and contentment.

They say a full stomach brings peace of mind…

“We’ll save the rest for tonight. Understood?”

“Yes. I’ll look forward to it happily. Thanks to you, I think I’ll complete the inspections well.”

I changed clothes alongside Helena in front of the wardrobe, then rode out on a pre-prepared horse.

The mansion staff insisted I take a carriage for dignity, but I politely declined as this wasn’t such a formal event.

Moreover, for efficiency, Helena and I split up—she taking the north and east gates, while I took the west and south—making a carriage even less necessary.

Helena had also mentioned that riding directly would be faster than taking a carriage if we wanted to return quickly.

In the end, we chose to ride horses as it would attract less attention and be faster.

“My Lord!”

As I stopped my horse at the south gate to the sound of a neigh, the soldiers guarding the gate bowed their heads with discipline.

They seemed less fatigued than those who had gone to war, having remained to defend the territory, but their spirit was no less impressive.

“Sorry to drop by while you’re all working hard. Has everything been alright?”

“Of course, sir!”

After calming the flustered soldiers, I met with the south gate commander to discuss various matters.

I noted on paper the condition of the walls and weapons, necessary supplies, and any special circumstances—things I had checked before leaving the territory—and carefully tucked the notes into my chest.

Having confirmed that there were no major issues at the south gate, I immediately headed toward the west gate.

However, I unexpectedly encountered Holland at the west gate.

There was nothing awkward about the encounter, but it was quite surprising.

“Why is Holland here?”

“As the one responsible for defending the territory, it’s only natural that I patrol the various gates.”

That’s right. I had forgotten because I was used to thinking of him as someone who stayed in one place receiving reports, but Holland was a responsible man.

Though Ise was present, we entrusted Holland with our positions during our absence because we trusted that sense of responsibility.

I apologized to Holland as I realized this anew.

“I’m sorry. I was so used to seeing you living leisurely that I…”

“Ahem! There’s no need to apologize, but… if you insist, you can buy me a drink. That would be sufficient.”

“Yes, I’ll send you something especially good.”

“That will do.”

Holland seemed pleased at the thought of new alcohol, grinning as he guided me.

The west gate commander, who had been standing awkwardly behind Holland, seemed relieved that his workload had decreased, exhaling a long breath while stroking his chest.

“I was planning to come report to you tomorrow… you’re quite eager.”

Walking side by side along the top of the wall, Holland muttered as if incredulous.

His expression was full of concern rather than complaint, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

“The sooner we handle post-war matters, the better. Of course, I won’t be working overtime, so don’t worry.”

“Isn’t spending time with the Duchess overtime? I’ve heard rumors that you often don’t get proper sleep until dawn?”

“What? There are such rumors?”

It’s not easy to casually mention such embarrassing rumors, especially in front of a noble who could be considered directly involved.

Depending on the circumstances, one could be accused of mockery and subjected to all sorts of punishment.

That was the norm in this world.

However, since it was Holland speaking to me, and I had no intention of tracking down the source of the rumors to eradicate them, I just felt a bit embarrassed.

It was somewhat awkward, but whoever spread the rumors probably hadn’t intended to disparage Helena and me.

“Of course. The Lord’s vigor is already famous throughout the duchy. Perhaps even neighboring territories know about it?”

“Holland, I’m not that strong. How could anyone do that every day? And… when exactly did such rumors start spreading?”

“Well, don’t you know that yourself? Anyway, for everyone’s well-being, I’ll just mention that rumors have spread.”

“Tsk. If it was for our well-being, you shouldn’t have told me about the rumors at all.”

I felt a headache coming on, as if caught up in Holland’s good-natured atmosphere.

This wasn’t an unfamiliar topic—in fact, I often initiated such conversations—so I was quite accustomed to it.

I just sighed because I was the subject this time.

“Sigh. Let’s end this conversation here.”

“That’s a shame. I could have seen more of the rare sight of the usually composed Lord being flustered.”

Holland smacked his lips as if disappointed but showed surprising sharpness in maintaining boundaries and taking a step back.

He seemed well-honed in many ways, likely from commanding many people and giving orders.

“By the way, since we’re on the topic, may I ask you one thing? It’s quite an impertinent question… if you say you won’t answer, I’ll quietly close my mouth.”

As the sun began to set, Holland looked at me intently and asked in a heavy voice.

He appeared somewhat tense, and his expression was so rigid that I wondered if he was the same glib person I knew.

What could he want to ask?

I nodded, curious to find out.

It was clearly permission to proceed.

“My Lord… aren’t you afraid of the Duchess?”

Am I afraid of Helena?

I felt my throat constrict at the sudden, penetrating question.

If I had been drinking water, I might have been coughing for several minutes from choking.

Holland’s question was that sharp.

“Afraid, you say. First, may I ask why you’re asking this?”

“We’ve all heard the news from the battlefield. Of course, I heard that you also achieved great feats. But…”

“So you mean, having seen that directly, I might be terrified? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes.” Holland answered briefly, still maintaining his rigid expression despite being interrupted.

It would be understandable to be afraid after hearing about Helena, with her pronounced duality, going on a rampage.

Without my blessed mental fortitude, I might have died from shock and fear.

However, if that were the case, I would have been living in anxiety since the moment Helena executed Cain.

Then Helena would have noticed my fear, and everything would have collapsed before I turned fifteen.

Thinking that my demand for and acquisition of steel-like mental fortitude was truly a divine move, I smiled wryly at Holland.

“I’m not afraid. Though I do feel awkward when Helena gets quietly angry, I often feel small.”

“Feel small…?”

Holland tilted his head as if he’d heard an unexpected answer.

In a way, saying I feel small could also mean I’m afraid, but that’s not what I meant.

Perhaps Holland tilted his head because he understood this.

To that, I decided to speak more sincerely, thinking this might be a good time for an honest conversation between men.

“Yes, I feel small.”