Ch.156Qualification (2)

I felt the fresh, cold air slowly and gently penetrating my lungs.

The burning sensation around my eyes subsided, and my heart, which had been swollen with self-blame and resentment, gradually found its slow and regular rhythm again.

For the first time since entering this forest—or perhaps for the first time in a long while—my mind felt clear.

I firmly closed my mouth and slowly raised my head.

The blue sky stretching above the tall, dark green trees quietly indicated that there was still plenty of daylight left.

“…Phew, thanks Pia.”

“You can thank me more.”

“Yeah, thank you, really.”

“Ehehe.”

Pia laughed awkwardly, placing her interlocked hands behind her head.

Guardian spirit.

True to her name, Pia had protected me from danger.

Not just from external threats, but from my own self-destructive thoughts and impulses.

Of course, a few warm words of comfort from Pia hadn’t completely erased my pain.

I could clearly feel that the guilt and self-loathing, not yet fully processed, still weighed heavily near my lower abdomen, waiting for an opportunity to consume me.

Yet, in a way, I didn’t want this hellfire-like heavy sorrow to disappear.

Because it was my karma and my conscience,

Because I knew that trying to forget this pain would only mean turning away from what I had done,

I wanted to remember Laila, my family, and all my victims through this pitch-black self-hatred that revealed its weight and presence, easily crushing my fragile heart.

I will not forget.

I will atone for the rest of my life.

But I will not be paralyzed by that weight.

With that resolve, I raised my knees.

I forced strength into my trembling ankles.

“Alice… Noona…”

As my senses returned, the first face that came to mind was Alice noona’s.

Strong and strict, yet showing me a moment of vulnerability and blaming herself for it,

Someone who tries to shoulder everything and takes responsibility for the results.

I see the same kind of pain in her that I feel in myself.

Even someone as strong as her—strong enough to face Silvia and survive—is trapped in despair.

Well, how many humans can truly be brave in the face of death?

Of course, history is full of heroes who humbly sacrifice their lives in moments of crisis.

Even among ordinary citizens, one can occasionally find those who protect their loved ones through noble self-sacrifice.

But being dignified before a death you can choose is entirely different from maintaining dignity while living with the anxiety that an inescapable, fated death could visit you at any moment.

If it were me, even maintaining my sanity would be difficult.

“…”

I looked at Pia.

She slowly smiled and gently wagged her tail.

Just as this small girl had comforted me, I wanted to offer comfort to Alice noona.

No, that’s precisely what I should do.

“Besides, Alice noona is still alive.”

I spoke with a resolute voice, feeling the presence of the bracelet around my wrist.

Malice’s bracelet, said to save lives.

It could be just a legend, for all I cared.

After all, the existence of spirits was also legendary,

And although I couldn’t feel any special power from this bracelet, it didn’t matter.

It hadn’t been that long since I started seeing Pia anyway,

My role might be to save Alice noona, or perhaps all of this was just a terrible delusion and coincidence, but I didn’t care at all.

It was worth trying, and I didn’t want to give up.

The guilt that still occupied a place in my heart was already at saturation point.

I couldn’t lose any more.

I would not lose.

No, at the very least, I wouldn’t just wait idly until I lost.

Slowly, I put strength into my bent knees and pulled myself up from the ground.

Standing firmly, I raised my head and gazed at the cloudless blue sky that looked like a deep azure lake.

“Now then…”

I glanced back at the cabin.

“…How am I going to face Alice noona after all that embarrassment?”

*

No words were necessary.

When I entered the cabin with a deliberately bright expression, Silvia and Alice noona seemed to understand from my face alone that I had managed to sort through my complicated feelings.

Silvia jumped up from her seat, approached me with a radiant face, and embraced me.

“Good job with the test. Alice and I were just discussing a marching pace that you could handle.”

“Ah, yes… I’ve only trained for a little over a month, so I’m obviously lacking, but I think I did my best within my capabilities.”

Silvia stroked my head as she replied.

“You’re not terribly lacking.”

“So I am lacking.”

“Well, compared to me or Alice, of course you are.”

“But I tried so hard…”

“I know, I can definitely vouch for how hard you’ve worked. And considering you passed my test too, I think you have excellent reflexes and improvisation skills.”

There was something awkward about Silvia’s tone.

She seemed to be forcing conversation to be mindful of my mood.

Of course, Silvia wouldn’t know the content of the conversation between Alice noona and me.

So naturally, she wouldn’t know why I was feeling down, yet somehow she seemed to sense my gloomy mood with uncanny accuracy.

Is this what they call a match made in heaven?

No, it’s probably just evidence of how much Silvia cares about me.

Seeing Silvia pour her heart out to me, I couldn’t help but smile.

I decided to make a light joke to make conversation easier for Silvia.

“Improvisation? It was all a meticulously planned strategy.”

“Ohh… reaally?”

“I thought about it so hard before leaving the cabin.”

Silvia giggled at my words for a moment, then tilted her head and fell into deep thought.

“Hmm… if you really planned such a strategy, that’s quite impressive.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yes, the idea of baking soil to harden it like pottery for an attack isn’t something that comes easily. Most people know that baked soil becomes a hard piece, but very few apply it that way. It’s more about intuition than education, so many people don’t think of it.

“Um… really?”

I thought she was exaggerating too much, but Silvia’s expression was quite serious.

“Hmm… is it because you’ve spent so many years learning magic theory, or because you’re Maria’s sibling?”

“Silvia?”

“Hmm… maybe Ash will contribute more than I expected.”

“N-no way.”

Silvia turned her head slightly to look at Alice noona.

She too seemed to have been listening carefully to my words, as she was deep in thought with a serious expression.

It seemed that while I was outside collecting my thoughts, the two of them had been calculating various scenarios and considering strategies for the journey ahead.

“Ash, come here.”

Alice noona quietly called me over.

The fact that Silvia released me without a word as soon as Alice finished speaking suggested they had something important to discuss.

As I slowly sat down in front of Alice noona, she continued in a low voice.

“Whether you planned it or improvised with quick thinking doesn’t really matter. Either way, it means you can do more than we expected.”

With those words, Alice noona began handing me various items one by one.

Armor, rope, a small portable lantern to wear at the waist—all sorts of items necessary for an adventure were being placed in front of me.

It was clearly a substantial amount of supplies, but this was just my share.

She must have already set aside items for herself and Silvia.

The quantity and variety of items made it easy to guess what she had been doing during her absence of over a month.

Alice continued speaking as she handed me the items.

“No matter how strong Silvia and I are, we’re not invincible. It’s a crude comparison, but we’re ultimately just good at cutting, stabbing, and killing. When magical expertise is needed, your role becomes crucial.”

“…Isn’t being good at cutting, stabbing, and killing basically being good at everything?”

“We still need a caster who can use magic. Even outside of combat situations, finding hidden passages or preparing for traps are things that Silvia and I can’t do.”

The magic Alice noona mentioned was indeed familiar to me.

But like most magic I knew, I was only well-versed in theory and had never actually used it in practice.

Besides, I had a feeling that Silvia and Alice could probably break through flimsy walls or trivial traps with their bare hands without any magic.

Of course, I was wise enough not to voice that opinion recklessly.

“Silvia, you come here too.”

“Sure, let’s go over everything.”

Silvia came and sat beside me, slipping her arm through mine and linking our arms together.

I looked at her in surprise.

Linking arms?

It was an unfamiliar form of skinship that I hadn’t experienced much.

Well, it made sense that this gentle physical contact felt strange, since we usually skipped straight to embracing and kissing.

Alice noona glared at Silvia, but Silvia paid no attention and even gently rested her cheek on my shoulder.

Since the chilly atmosphere between the two was of no help to me, I desperately tried to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Go over everything? What do you mean?”

Perhaps appreciating my effort, Silvia smiled slightly and answered my question.

“Everyone’s here, and all the equipment and tools are right here. We know how well you can move and what abilities you have.”

“…So?”

“We’ve done all the preparation we can… so the answer is clear, right?”

Alice noona sighed and said:

“After we each finish our preparations today, we’ll depart tomorrow.”

“…Ah.”

“Directly toward the clutches of the Demon King.”