Ch.156300 Years of Essence (6)

“Why, why did you become the Empress of Bliss’s jester?”

There was no strength in Bernstein’s voice as he spoke. Unlike moments before, not even anger could be felt in his voice now. Anger is like a flame—it cannot burn without fuel, and Bernstein had no kindling left to burn.

150 years. A full 150 years.

By now, he had lived with anger longer than he had lived normally. Bernstein was exhausted. He was no longer truly angry; he was merely squeezing out emotions from a sense of duty that he should be angry at his former idol.

“Why……”

Bernstein tried to gather the remaining ashes to light a fire, but such embers couldn’t last long. They flared only for a brief moment. What remained afterward was emptiness.

“Were you that desperate to live? Did you crave life that badly?”

“I had to live, even like that.”

The Helm Knight finally spoke in response to Bernstein’s hollow voice.

“I had to live, even like that.”

“But why?”

This exchange was nothing new.

For the past 150 years, whenever they met in the Outer Continent, Bernstein would ask the same question with anger, and the Helm Knight’s answer was always the same.

I had to.

I had my reasons.

That’s how the Helm Knight had avoided answering. Bernstein had resigned himself to expecting the same this time. But contrary to his expectations, the Helm Knight seemed ready to provide an answer this time. The Helm Knight nodded to Najin, and Najin silently nodded back before leaving them alone.

Bernstein’s eyes widened.

Is he going to answer? Really?

What could possibly be the reason for suddenly answering a question he had refused to answer for 150 years? Did he feel pity seeing Bernstein almost sobbing? Did he suddenly feel compassion? Though it felt humiliating, Bernstein wanted to hear the answer even if it came that way.

But it didn’t seem to be because of him. Bernstein suspected that the boy named Najin had caused a change in the Helm Knight’s heart.

That seemed correct.

The Helm Knight didn’t open his mouth until Najin was completely out of sight. Only when the distance was far enough that his voice wouldn’t be heard did the Helm Knight begin to speak.

2.

Najin’s senses are keen. Even at this distance, he could eavesdrop on their conversation by enhancing his hearing, but Najin chose not to.

Everyone has things they want to keep hidden. Najin had no intention of deliberately overhearing what someone didn’t want to share. Sitting on a suitable rock, Najin pondered the words Bernstein had spoken earlier.

A jester, the Helm Knight?

By now, Najin roughly understood what a jester was. Those who were defeated by the Empress of Bliss and became puppets. That’s how the Helm Knight had explained jesters.

“……”

Najin silently rubbed his chin.

In the past? He might have questioned it. Or he might have shaken his head when asked to leave, remaining to eavesdrop on their conversation.

But now, well…

Traveling with the Helm Knight, Najin felt a change in his beliefs. The once rigid, firm wall had developed cracks. Gaps had formed, creating room to accept other perspectives. That space made Najin ponder.

Bernstein had said that the Helm Knight could have remained a hero but chose not to. That he chose to abandon honor and pride. That the Empire’s hero had cowardly knelt down and chosen to survive.

It would have been difficult to accept before, but now Najin could reconsider. He recalled the people he had met in the Outer Continent.

Shulein, Knight of the Sacred Host, chose duty over honor and pride. The countless hunters he’d seen in the Outer Continent chose survival out of fear of the hell that awaited after death. And those who didn’t abandon honor and pride, like the Bull Horned Star, became the dead and degenerated into beasts.

Then, what about the Helm Knight?

What was he trying to protect? What made him make such a choice? Reflecting on his first meeting with the Helm Knight, Najin unconsciously muttered.

“…hunter.”

If Najin hadn’t chosen to challenge him to a duel back then, he might have truly been hunted. The Helm Knight had genuinely been considering it at that moment.

Taking the star from him.

Then why would he need to take stars? There’s only one reason to take stars in the Outer Continent.

‘Survival.’

He desires survival. Not simple survival, but it seemed he had a goal that required him to stay alive. A goal heavy enough that he would willingly abandon his honor and pride for it.

“Tsk.”

Najin clicked his tongue unnecessarily.

He could make guesses. But he didn’t want to judge the Helm Knight based on unfounded speculation. As Najin shook off these thoughts, he suddenly glanced to his side. The reason was the glimpse of blue hair at the edge of his vision.

In Najin’s line of sight was a guide who had been sticking close to him lately, trying to emphasize her role that had been taken by the Helm Knight.

-Hmm?

It was the Great Constellation Merlin. She had been clinging right next to Najin, and her eyes lit up at his gaze. As if she had been waiting for him to look at her.

-What? Do you have something to ask?

He didn’t particularly have anything to ask, but seeing her reaction, it seemed like he should ask something.

‘No, it’s nothing much.’

-What is it? Tell me! Even if it’s nothing important!

After a moment’s hesitation, Najin opened his mouth. Perhaps “opened his mouth” is the wrong expression. In reality, Najin’s lips remained closed. In this case, “monologued” or “thought” would be more appropriate.

‘Demons existed in Merlin’s era, and even much earlier, right? Primordial beings like dragons and giants that appeared with the birth of the world.’

Najin monologued.

‘And as far as I remember, demons fill their bellies with the souls of sentient beings. They raise their rank. The reason ancient demons are powerful isn’t because their concept is strong, but simply because they’ve fattened themselves on others’ souls for a long time.’

-You know well. That’s the essence of demons. Demons can never be independent. They’re a race that can only survive by parasitizing concepts, parasitizing others’ lives, parasitizing the world.

Merlin affirmed.

Najin continued his monologue.

‘Does that logic apply to the Empress of Bliss as well? That is, to use Merlin’s expression, to a Demon Lord who has transcended the limitations of their race?’

Demon Lord, a demon who has transcended.

Unlike demons who live according to their given concept without having a self, a demon who has gained a self. Just as humans overcome their limitations to reach transcendence… a demon who has transcended the limitations of their race is a Demon Lord.

Is even such a Demon Lord bound by that logic?

Najin asked this.

-They’re not bound by that logic. A Demon Lord is an independent being. But, it remains the easiest method. Even though they don’t need to, Demon Lords still covet souls. Because that’s their essence.

Merlin answered “no.” But she added that there’s no need not to do so either.

-Even a Demon Lord is still a demon. Just as a Constellation who has reached transcendence is still human. They can’t forget their essence.

‘Then, the method of fattening themselves would be the same too?’

Now Merlin seemed to realize what Najin was trying to ask. She nodded.

-Yes. The way demons fatten themselves is the same now as it was a thousand years ago.

A method covered in countless fairy tales and heroic tales, and even more history books. A method that has now become an expression in itself. Najin pronounced it.

“A deal.”

A deal with a demon.

3.

How much time had passed?

Najin rose from his seat at the sound of the Helm Knight calling him. Returning to their spot, he noticed Bernstein sitting on a rock, looking dazed.

“Why is he like that?”

“Who knows. My story must have been shocking.”

The Helm Knight shrugged.

Najin looked toward Bernstein. Seeing him with his head down, continuously muttering something as if he’d lost his mind, it seemed like he needed time.

“……”

However, contrary to Najin’s expectation, Bernstein raised his head not long after. The heat from earlier was no longer visible in his eyes. Yet, it wasn’t completely extinguished either. A flame that could reignite at any moment flickered in those eyes.

“What you just told me.”

He said, looking at the Helm Knight.

“Is it all true?”

“If you don’t believe it, that’s the end of it. I have no way to prove it right now.”

“That’s… true.”

Bernstein pressed his lips together.

“Then I won’t retract my words either. To me, you’re still a coward. You tarnished the Empire’s name and a fugitive who failed to fulfill his duty until the end…”

But, he said.

“If everything you just told me is true. And if it happens as you said, I’ll retract all these words. And I’ll kneel before you, bow my head, and apologize. I’ll do so willingly.”

“There’s no need for that. Your anger is justified, and you were right to feel that way. To others, I am indeed a cowardly fugitive. In fact, it’s not that different.”

“No. That’s not it.”

Bernstein shook his head.

“Don’t belittle yourself. That attitude makes me angrier. Don’t try to understand me. Don’t pity me either. I don’t want to feel more miserable here.”

With those words, Bernstein rose from his seat. He picked up the sword he had dropped and turned his head to look at Najin.

“Do you have something to say?”

“……”

Bernstein couldn’t easily open his mouth.

He has his pride too. It’s difficult to smile and speak to the victor after a miserable defeat. But in this situation, another value took precedence over pride.

Bernstein briefly held in his heart a value he had long abandoned. Chivalry. The courtesy a knight should maintain. Holding this faded value, he opened his mouth.

“Najin, was it?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t apologize to him yet, but I should apologize to you.”

Najin’s eyes widened slightly.

Because Bernstein bowed his head to Najin.

“Insulting a master in front of his disciple is not something I should do. I was hasty. You have every right to be upset. I apologize.”

“I also apologize for being disrespectful.”

“You were a bit arrogant. But well… you have the skill to back it up.”

When Najin bowed his head, Bernstein finally smiled. He smiled and patted Najin’s shoulder.

“You were excellent. Although I didn’t use my full strength, even if I had, the outcome wouldn’t have been easily decided. Besides, seeing that swordsmanship after so long…”

He trailed off.

The moment Bernstein saw the swordsmanship Najin displayed—the Helm Knight’s swordsmanship—he became angry. It was partly the inferiority he felt from being rejected when he asked the Helm Knight to teach him, partly the betrayal he felt toward the Helm Knight who broke his oath, but that wasn’t all he felt.

“I was glad to see it. It was a nostalgic swordsmanship.”

He also felt nostalgia.

A swordsmanship that evoked the past. A sword that could momentarily remind him of glorious days. Reminiscing about the past, Bernstein muttered.

“Learn it well. That man was once called the Empire’s Best Swordsman. Though it’s hard to recall the name of that swordsmanship now…”

Bernstein pointed to the sword tied at the Helm Knight’s waist.

“I remember that whenever that single sword shone, the Empire always emerged victorious. I hope you learn that sword well. It’s a sword worth learning.”

With those words, Bernstein turned to look at the Helm Knight one last time. The gaze behind the helmet was unreadable. But Bernstein seemed to understand what was inside, as he let out a hollow laugh toward the Helm Knight.

“Your destination remains unchanged?”

“It hasn’t changed from 150 years ago to now.”

“Then let’s meet there again.”

“I can’t guarantee how long it will take.”

“I’ve wandered for 150 years. Adding a few more years doesn’t seem to make a difference.”

Bernstein left.

He walked away weakly. Najin couldn’t tell where he was heading. But Bernstein was walking with a clear goal in mind. After watching his back for a while, Najin spoke.

“You were quite famous, it seems.”

“I was somewhat famous.”

“You seem to have been a hero of the Empire.”

“Somehow, that’s how it turned out.”

Najin looked at the sword tied at the Helm Knight’s waist. A sword bound with chains. A sword that had never been drawn despite the considerable time they had traveled together.

“It’s an honor. Learning the sword of an Empire’s hero.”

“Yet you don’t even know my name?”

“Does that matter? Later, when I proclaim before others that this is the sword of an Empire’s hero, that’s what it will become.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When a hero wields it, it becomes a hero’s sword. What else would a hero’s sword be?”

The Helm Knight burst into laughter.

“That only works if you become a hero, doesn’t it? Are you saying you’ll become a hero?”

“That’s my intention.”

“Stop it. It’s just tiring and not particularly worth doing. I know because I’ve done it.”

“But there’s glory, isn’t there?”

“Glory is all there is.”

“That’s enough for me.”

The Helm Knight laughed, and Najin didn’t. Shrugging his shoulders, Najin exhaled briefly.

Then he casually asked.

“Did you make a deal with a demon?”

A strike that penetrated the light conversation.

The Helm Knight couldn’t react to that strike. The Helm Knight’s breathing faltered at Najin’s question. An awkward silence hung between them. The time wasn’t long, but between first-class warriors, it was an extremely long time.

With his silence, the Helm Knight had essentially answered.

That Najin’s words were correct.

“You made a deal with the Empress of Bliss.”

Najin added.

The Helm Knight smiled bitterly.

“You’re annoyingly perceptive.”